The Fundamentals of Detox 2 Contents Why Detox?................................................................................................................................................ 3 Part I - Lifestyle Changes ....................................................................................................................... 8 1. Adequate sunlight exposure............................................................................................................................. 9 2. Forest Bathing........................................................................................................................................................ 9 3. Dark Night................................................................................................................................................................ 9 4. Sleep Sanctuary .................................................................................................................................................... 9 5. Sweat Regularly .................................................................................................................................................. 10 6. Loving Yourself .................................................................................................................................................... 10 7. Proper Breathing ................................................................................................................................................. 10 8. Cold Therapy ......................................................................................................................................................... 11 9. Avoiding The Largest Culprits ....................................................................................................................... 11 *Bonus* 11. Music ..................................................................................................................................................... 16 Part II - Relationships & Boundaries .................................................................................................. 17 Part III - Media, Technology & Belief Systems ................................................................................ 21 Part IV - Moving Forward ..................................................................................................................... 27 P.s. Always remember The Detox Dudes Longevity Tonic: ..........................................................30 The Fundamentals of Detox 3 Why Detox? o you feel sluggish, anxious, unmotivated, tired, or weak all the time? Do you feel like you are past your prime? Do you yearn for true spiritual freedom? Do you feel numb and unfulfilled? Do you feel like there is more out there? Unfortunately, most of us are not living up to our true soul's potential. In fact, most of us are just in a limbo state between life and death. The rates of depression, anxiety, autism, cancer, diabetes, loneliness, and other maladies have skyrocketed exponentially in the past couple decades. Did you know that almost 800,000 people killed themselves in 2015? And 20 people for every 1 of those “successful” suicides, attempted suicide. That is almost 16 million people who wanted to end their life in 2015! What the fuck is going on in the world? This is not what nature intended folks. Most of us are unsure of our purpose here on the planet, and most of us have accepted the lie that dreams are for children. After being suicidal for three years, living in a 24/7 state of panic, despair, and gloom I was introduced to some of the deepest truths of the universe. Can you believe that that just 16 months ago, I was peeing in a bucket in my bedroom because I was so afraid of human contact? Or that my mission each day was just to not kill myself? And this was after spending 150k on my health, drinking ayahuasca thirty times, and religiously practicing yoga and meditation. Now, I am completely depression-free, more mentally stable than most people I know, financially “successful”, and living my passion on a daily basis. The truth that I was forced to learned in those three years is that we are being absolutely inundated with chemicals and toxins on a daily basis. In the past 100 years alone, over 100,000 new chemicals have been introduced into the environment and our natural detox mechanisms have not had the chance to evolve. Just look at your kitchen pantry, your bathroom, or your laundry room. Over 90% of substances that we use around the house, ingest orally or put directly on our skin are loaded with chemicals. Most of this stuff is just 100% pure chemicals! This is leading to human suffering on a massive scale. These toxins, compounded over time in the organs and glands, have a way of creating biochemical havoc, preventing us from connecting to the divine, and acting as an anchor towards low vibrational frequencies. I spent three years fighting against this biochemical gradient, and I must tell you, it’s an impossible fight without detoxification as an ally. D The Fundamentals of Detox 4 (real life picture, taken by myself at a friends house. Every single product here is created in a lab with chemicals as the base) Did you know that we are injected with mercury and aluminum (some of the most toxic substances on the planet) at an extremely young age in the form of vaccinations? Or that most of the animal products people eat are just the depressed result of an animal caged for their entire lives, tortured, and given genetically modified feed? Did you know that cancer is a $120+ billion industry and we use toxic chemicals like chemotherapy and radiation to kill it. Or that we load our municipal drinking water with fluoride, a known neurotoxin and aluminum manufacturing byproduct! I can go on and on about what’s going on in this world, but if you follow the money, you can find that almost everything we are taught is so beyond ass- backwards it is virtually a cosmic joke. We are also taught that we are just logical meatbodies floating around on the planet with a sole purpose of working, making money, and raising a family. We are so much more than this but we seemed to have forgotten. We are all part of the grand tapestry that is nature. The planet is sick right now and so are we! In some sense, we are victims of the greed and manipulation of the powers at be. It is not our faults that we are sick, but it is our problem . And we can’t get out of this problem with the same level of consciousness that got us into it. The Fundamentals of Detox 5 The truth is that we are just like the creatures in the movie Avatar. When you connect and experience that knowingness, the rest of life becomes way more amazing. In my opinion, a structured and comprehensive detox protocol is essential for realizing and experiencing this truth and it must target heavy metals, parasites, yeast, plastics, estrogens, and other chemicals that are deeply embedded in our organs and glands. Aside from an increased ability to connect to the divine, there are amazing other benefits that come along with it: Increased sex drive & libido Harder & stronger erections Increased productivity Digestion of steel Increased energy Lighter, brighter and more intense eyes Cure for addictive behaviors Stronger intuition Cracking open and decalcification of the 3rd eye Clearer, glowing skin The ability to feel your deepest self Raising your vibration allows you to manifest your dreams Elimination of body odor Restorative sleep More creativity Strengthened immune system A strange sense of peace and calmness Ok, great. Detoxification is awesome. What makes this different? Have you ever had this experience? You start a new supplement, diet, or juice cleanse – felt amazing for three days and then thought that all of your health problems were solved? Coming back to “reality” after feeling great for a few days and telling all your friends and family about the new fad can be one of the most frustrating things on this journey. And trust me, I have done this hundreds of times, and it is very deflating. The Fundamentals of Detox 6 Most people in the health world have their own specialty. Their own “shtick.” To name a few, there are the raw-vegans, the juice-fasters, herbalists, the water-fasters, the urine drinkers, the DMSA chelators, nutritional/mineral balancing, paleo, the coffee enema crew, etc. After I spent over 4 years and $150,000+ combined hopping around each of the different organizations and living my life accordingly, I came up with this conclusion: Every single group of people thought that their methods were the best out there. Just like specialists in the medical field, when people specialize in something they focus on one thing, and miss out on a bunch of amazing information. There are a lot of biological reasons this happens, mostly because humans have a tendency towards simplicity, linear thinking and a desire to wrap our limited minds around super complex and unlimited processes. It is easier to believe that one person has the answer or that the “answer” can be found in one thing. One supplement, one diet, one cleanse. It’s not as simple as just juicing or fasting anymore. The levels of toxicity have increased in intensity and complication, thus the formula for healing must expand. As The Detox Dude, I am obsessed with seeing how all of these different cleansing modalities, diets, herbs, genetics, and supplements (both ancient and modern) come together and interact with each other. I continuously ask myself – How do these things overlap and what is the order of operations? You probably already heard my story and know that I have been through hell and back. I experienced years and years of debilitating depression, anxiety, inability to digest foods, and an inability to cope with life. I resurrected myself from the dead after years of trial and error, suffering and extraordinary amounts of money. I had a diseased brain and gut full of parasites, mercury, cadmium, arsenic, aluminum, and lead. I learned a thing or two the hard way after going through my journey: 1. I always want to learn from people who have been through the fire. One minute of experience is worth more than 100 hours of textbooks. 2. No one person, diet, supplement, or cleanse has the complete answer for long- lasting life transformation. 3. Detoxification is not just a physical process. 4. And no, not even The Detox Dude has all the answers Through my illness, and my new way of being, I have realized that detoxification applies to all facets of life, not just on a physical level. We must detoxify our lives, and create a strong foundation before even beginning to purchase supplements. The Fundamentals of Detox 7 I’m sure you purchased this report to learn about all the cool supplements you can start taking and about how to start slaying your parasites. While all of that is really important, the stuff I am about to share with you is even more pressing. One can introduce thousands of dollars worth of supplements, but if there is somebody in one’s life that makes one consistently sick, the supplements will be a complete waste of money. Detox your life and limiting belief systems before and while you detox your body of physical toxins. The Fundamentals of Detox 8 Part I - Lifestyle Changes If two people of the exact same health level decided to embark on a 14-day cleanse, which person would be “healthier” at the end of 14 days? John - He consumed hundreds of dollars worth of superfood smoothies, thousands of dollars worth of supplements, and ate the cleanest of vegetables. But John was trapped in a dark basement and had no physical contact with the outside world. The television was always on, the router was located in the basement and he had all day and night to roam Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Ken - He ate inorganic vegetables, inorganic meat, didn’t take any supplements, and often cheated on his diet. Almost every day Ken would cave into his cravings and eat pastries. A few of the days of his “cleanse” he ate pizza. But Ken had a supportive family, sat in the sun everyday, and had deep, meaningful conversations with friends. If you answered Ken, you were right. We need to all remember that perfectionism is poison. Most of us hear about detox, realize just how fucked the planet is, just how common parasite and metal toxicity is, and we sway to the other end of the pendulum, creating a nazi-like discipline around our detox practice. We start freaking out if tap water touches our skin or bug out if we eat an inorganic meal out at a restaurant with friends. Stressing about a toxic substance is just as toxic as the substance itself! If you cheat on your diet, eat a pastry, and then experience awful guilt about the pastry, chances are... your guilt is more toxic than the pastry. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about making small steps every day towards a cleaner and healthier life. If you can treat yourself with radical acceptance, even directly after a poor decision, you will find that you will never have “decisions” to make anymore. Over time, choosing the path of light and vitality becomes a new homeostasis, and requires zero additional effort or discipline. My intentions of creating this report are to maximize the success rate of the physical detox itself. Instead of jumping right into spending thousands of dollars on supplements and slaying your parasites, make sure that you have a stable foundation to launch from. The Fundamentals of Detox 9 Top 10 (and mostly free) lifestyle changes to implement immediately (in no particular order): 1. Adequate sunlight exposure Get at least 15 minutes of sunlight on exposed skin every day. Also, get outside first thing in the morning and look in the direction of the sun (even if it's not sunny) for a few minutes, without wearing glasses or contacts (this helps set your circadian rhythm). If you live a place that doesn't get regular sunlight, invest in a UV-B light bulb and/or use a UV-B (or "level 1") tanning bed. Here is a good one. 2. Forest Bathing Immerse yourself in nature as much as possible. Unfortunately, the air in our homes is often 10x more polluted than fresh air (even in big cities like Los Angeles). At the very least, open your windows and go for a walk on a daily basis. Even better, find time for "forest bathing." Ideally you want to walk barefoot when possible as this will allow you to ground and connect with the frequency of the Earth. Read this: https://goo.gl/w93tu3 3. Dark Night Block out blue and green light at least two hours before bed. Try to sleep in as dark of a room as you possibly can. If you don't want to or can’t ditch your electronics before bed, buy these Red glasses. You can also use a free app called F.lux on your computer, and you can set light settings on the new iPhone. (They are not a substitute for getting the red glasses, which block out all blue and green light, both which disrupt the onset of melatonin.) 4. Sleep Sanctuary Shut WiFi routers as often as possible during the day, and always at night. These harmful EMF’s that we are bombarded with 24/7 drastically reduce our cellular vitality. Put your phone on airplane mode. Have a small ceremony before bed where you thank God, the universe, yourself, or whatever you believe in for the day. No matter how sick you are, you are alive, and most of us don’t realize what a miracle life is until it’s all over. Even if you don’t feel the gratitude for being alive, express it anyway. The Fundamentals of Detox 10 One day soon the feelings will follow. Invest in a comfortable mattress, ideally one that’s toxin-free. Don't sleep with your phone or laptop in the same room (unless on airplane mode). Watch this Youtube video for more details. 5. Sweat Regularly Get in a sauna/steam room of some type several times a week. The skin is the most congested and largest organ in the body. When we sweat, we allow toxins to bypass the liver and kidneys, giving them a much needed rest. The absolute most ideal situation would be to get a near infrared sauna, but the money would be better spent on supplements in the beginning of this process. 6. Loving Yourself Every single day, you must love yourself. Look in the mirror, stare deep into your eyes, and no matter how difficult this may seem or how awkward it feels, push through the resistance. If you are like 99% of the population, chances are you went decades receiving conditional love from others, and treating yourself poorly. Creating a relationship with yourself based on unconditional love and self-acceptance can create massive shifts in your DNA and at a cellular level. In some instances of mild illness, I think this step alone is enough to shift the tides to the light. Read this (and this) book as soon as you can. It’s cheap, short, and an easy read so don’t skip this step! 7. Proper Breathing Try to be conscious of your breath. Watch a baby breathe. They take long deep breaths with their bellies, not quick shallow breaths from the chest like most adults. When you are laying down, before bed, or even when watching TV, try to take long, deep breaths with your belly. This creates a positive feedback loop with your body to reduce stress and go into parasympathetic state. These are some good basic breathing techniques to follow. The Fundamentals of Detox 11 8. Cold Therapy If you are man (or woman) enough to handle this step, switch over to cold showers. One of the main reasons we experience mental and physical unrest is because of inflammation. Inflammation, of course, is not random. It is largely caused by an excess of toxins floating around the system, but nonetheless needs to be addressed as soon as possible and on a consistent ongoing basis. Wim Hof is proving to the world that cold water can reduce inflammation, alkalize the body, fight infection, and balance the endocrine system. Start by just using room temperature water and making your way slowly to the coldest setting possible. Just 45-120 seconds in the shower is all you need to reap the benefits of cold therapy. If you start doing these consistently, you will notice that you will feel invigorated after a cold shower versus lethargic after a warm one. Also, your bodies ability to create internal heat will skyrocket and you will find no desire to wear sweatshirts and jackets! 9. Avoiding The Largest Culprits I’m sorry ladies you can skip this next part if you want, but it is very interesting and important. While ejaculation can cripple a sick male, it can actually invigorate and strengthen females, so you ladies are lucky! Men should be avoiding masturbation/ejaculation as often as possible, but not altogether. While the teachings are varied, the Tao speaks that once a man gets over the age of 30, he should masturbate a maximum of once every two weeks in the temperate months and once a month in the cold season. The Chinese masters speak poorly of masturbation/ejaculation even in the years before the age of 30, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes! I understand! All joking aside, I have found this to be one of the absolute most important determining factors for a male to restore harmony to his being. The absolute most you should be ejaculating when ill (no matter what age) is once every 7-8 days. I find that my clients who have active sexual relationships while ill, and do not practice the art of sex without ejaculation have a much, much lower success rate at becoming whole again. I learned a lot about this topic in one of my favorite books of all time, The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity. Although I didn’t share this in my story, I actually went to the Amazon jungle the third time (dieta in isolation) with this book in hand, and vowed to follow every single rule until I cured myself. That’s how much I believed in it’s wisdom. I want to share an awesome excerpt from the book: The Fundamentals of Detox 12 “The Tang Dynasty physician Lee Tung-hsüan, in Mysterious Master of the Cave, used frequency of intercourse rather than day-intervals as his recommended measure for regulating emission: When having sexual intercourse with women, a man should emit semen only two or three times in ten. Master Liu Ching, a Han Dynasty adept credited in dynastic archives with achieving a lifespan of over 300 years, preferred to regulate his emissions according to the cosmic cycles of seasonal change: In spring, a man may permit himself to ejaculate once every three days, but in summer and autumn he should limit his ejaculations to twice a month. During the cold of winter, a man should preserve his semen and avoid ejaculation altogether. The Way of Heaven is to accumulate Yang essence in winter. A man who follows this guideline will live a long and healthy life. One ejaculation in cold winter is one hundred times more harmful than an ejaculation in the spring. The most practical advice of all on the subject of ejaculation control comes from the centenarian physician Sun Ssu-mo, the Tang Dynasty adept who outlived three emperors by practicing what he preached. His general yardstick, quoted at the head of this chapter, was twice a month, or 24 times per year. His own personal regimen, however, was only one emission per 100 copulations. Dr. Sun lived to the age of 101. According to Sun Ssu-mo a man should ‘become acquainted’ with Tao by the age of 30 and ‘acquire a thorough working knowledge’ of it by 40: Before the age of 40, most men are still full of vigorous passion. But as soon as they reach their 40th birthday, they suddenly notice their potency declining. Just at that very point of declining potency the myriad ailments will descend upon him like a swarm of bees. If this situation continues unchecked, he will soon find himself beyond cure. Dr. Sun repeatedly warned his male patients of the dangers involved in excessive ejaculation. He compared the situation to that of a sputtering oil-lamp: just before the fuel is spent and the lamp is about to extinguish, the flame suddenly flares up brightly, then dies: Each and every time a man restrains himself and retains his semen it is like adding new oil to a lamp that is about to extinguish. But if a man fails to control himself and ejaculates every time he lies down with a woman, it is like removing oil from a lamp that is already nearly burnt out. As Sun Ssu-mo sums up so well, ‘If a man squanders his semen, he will soon die. For a man, this is the most important point to remember about sex.’ On the other hand, like the Plain Girl, Dr Sun also advises against complete abstinence: If a man has no intercourse with woman, his mind will grow restless and he will yearn for female company ... Forcibly suppressing the natural urge to emit semen at certain intervals is not only difficult for a man but will actually make it easier to lose semen. The Fundamentals of Detox 13 He will lose it during sleep through nocturnal emissions [i.e. ’wet dreams’] ... One emission of semen in this manner is equivalent to the loss suffered by one hundred emissions during normal sexual intercourse. Sun Ssu-mo’s advice to men on regulating ejaculation frequency can be summarized as follows: • By the age of 30, a man begins to lose vitality and should stop squandering his semen recklessly. It is time to give up the habit of masturbation and to become acquainted with the Tao of Yin and Yang. • By the age of 40, a man has reached the critical turning point in his life. If he wishes to prevent the rapid downhill slide into the grave which undisciplined sexual relations cause at this stage in life, he must now start practicing ejaculation control as a habit. • By the age of 50, his ejaculation frequency should be no more than once every 20 days. • By the age of 60, most men should completely curtail ejaculation (but not intercourse)... • Practicing ejaculation control is just as important for strong, healthy males as it is for the weak and elderly. Those who start this regimen early in life avoid the worst ravages of old age, retard the loss of vital energy and live longer lives than those who wait until middle age to begin. • For most men, complete abstention from ejaculation is just as harmful as excessive emission. It creates a deep yearning for sex that disrupts the harmony of essence, energy and spirit, and ultimately leads to the even greater loss of sexual essence and energy through the uncontrollable, intense ejaculations caused by ‘wet dreams’. Reid, Daniel. The Tao Of Health, Sex and Longevity (p. 295-297). Simon & Schuster, Inc. Kindle Edition. ... Unfortunately, I think things have only gotten exponentially worse since the chinese masters cultivated this knowledge and even since Daniel Reid wrote this book in the 1990’s. I know the information is conflicting, and there is no concrete amount of days you should be abstaining, but I find the 7-8 day rule to be a good one (at a bare minimum). If you feel absolutely drained and depressed after ejaculation, then chances are you need to extend the time frame in between. The Fundamentals of Detox 14 If the money you spent on this product was the last few dollars you had to your name, and you had to do the five most important and free things to restore harmony to your being, they would be: 1. Limit ejaculation (if male) 2. Love yourself 3. Sweat everyday 4. Chew your food thoroughly, and probably most important... 5. Immerse yourself in a healthy, supportive community. Additionally, other incredibly important things to start slowly incorporating into your life are: Start avoiding chlorine water in swimming pools and use a shower filter when taking showers. Avoid hormone infested and inorganic meats. Avoid all seafood and shellfish except for sardines + mackerel. Not only are all seafoods mercury toxic, but they also have tons of PCB’s, plastics, and chemicals. Our oceans have taken the biggest hit of toxicity out of anything else on the planet. Avoid all excess sugar (even fruits when possible) and avoid processed sugars. Whatever you do, don’t eat fruit after a meal (it ferments on top of the meal and you receive zero nutritional benefit, only gas). Drink clean water (distilled, fresh local spring water, and Big Berkey water are the best options in my opinion). If struggling with leaky gut, autoimmune issues, or other chronic illnesses of any type, seriously consider avoiding lectins (beans, seeds, grains, nuts, nightshades). Chew your food thoroughly before swallowing, almost to the consistency of baby food. Start avoiding toxic skin products and purchase natural alternatives. (house cleaners, laundry detergent, soaps, shampoos, conditioners, moisturizers, makeup) The Fundamentals of Detox 15 Lastly, make sure you do not have amalgam fillings while starting an intense detox process. This can be dangerous when moving to intense phases of the detox, but also, you will be climbing uphill the whole way. Go to a certified, holistic or biological dentist who is trained specifically in this department. At a very minimum, they should be using an ionizer/air filter, dental dam, and should have a good understanding of the severity of the situation. Go to amalgam.org for more info 10. Meaningful Connections - Share deep conversations with loving people on a consistent basis. So many of our relationships are based off of money or what we can get from that person in terms of “value,” but it's time to start cultivating relationships based on what you love doing, and based on your deepest self. The surface-level bull shit never nurtures us, and it’s part of the reason we are dealing with massive-scale loneliness on the planet. Be open and honest to people about your health, your depression, or any maladies that you may be facing. I used to have such fear about telling people that I was suffering for fear of judgement and labels, but I found that by sharing my true self I was able to create genuine, meaningful relationships and also was able to feel less alone. Social isolation and/or having miserable people in your life severely compromises your immune system and studies have shown that it even causes leaky gut! The ultimate way to rebuild yourself and detoxify is to immerse yourself in a supportive community! In April, I invited Robert Brauer, a good friend, over to my house in Portland, Oregon. Robert and I had been talking for more than a year on the phone without having ever met. We exchanged detox advice and helped each other through our dark days. At the time, we both didn’t really know that many other people who were living this kind of lifestyle. Both Robert and I refused to take any supplements or detox in those four days that we spent together. In fact, we even ate a bit of ice cream and chocolate. Both of us, for the days during and after we met were shitting out more parasites, candida, and mucoid plaque than ever before. All without taking a single supplement! The Fundamentals of Detox 16 How is this possible? Because being around a like-minded tribe is the ultimate form of synergy, connection, and healing. In a community of like-minded people devoted to healing, you can witness most of your stress dissipate, your cortisol levels normalize, and finally feel safe and at home . This is when the miracles of the divine can truly kick in. *Bonus* 11. Music Listen to high vibrational music to remind your soul who you really are. I made a playlist with some of my favorites: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVwe- uMSOma4iG3gPERVoJqh1h_fqJ6Wg The Fundamentals of Detox 17 Part II - Relationships & Boundaries How many of us have people in our lives that make us feel sick? People that when we are in their presence, we cringe, clench our fists, experience heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and even some nausea? It’s ironic that many of these symptoms resemble that of heavy metal poisoning and parasites. Sometimes these people can be a stranger at a grocery store, a co-worker, client, long-time friend, or even a family member. I will say this truth from the deepest depths of my being: It does not matter who is making you sick in your life. It does not matter what role they play, how much money they are giving you, or even if they are your own blood. Toxic people and toxic relationships must be dealt with appropriately for one to reclaim their own personal power and become whole again. In order to have compassion for somebody, sometimes space is needed. In order to actively love somebody, sometimes space is needed. Being compassionate does not mean having no boundaries. Sometimes, the most compassionate people are also the most boundaried. One can introduce thousands of dollars worth of supplements, but if there is somebody in your life that makes you consistently sick, the supplements will be a complete waste of money. Cleaning up (aka detoxing) your environment, especially including the people in your closest social circles, is an ongoing, lifelong process, but is especially important if you are extremely ill. I want to tell you three personal stories to exemplify my point. My mother and I did not get along very well when we lived together. We argued, got under each other's skin and we were filled with rage when in each other's presence consistently. There were times during the beginning of my healing process when I was living with her, that I literally had to scream at the top of my lungs into my pillow or go outside and run sprints just to maintain my sanity. I could have taken an entire $150 bag of calming chinese herbs or an entire tincture of valerian and nothing would have been able to shake off the feeling of rage. The Fundamentals of Detox 18 Sometimes for 24 hours, my body would be in fight or flight and no supplement could come to my rescue. Just like living with a bad roommate in college, I felt that everything she did would get under my skin, no matter how big or small. “Why the fuck doesn’t she eat healthy?” or “Why does she give the dog cheese?” are just two of the many questions I would ruminate on with ferocious intent. Within a day or two of me leaving, whether it was a vacation or when I finally had the strength to move out, our dialogue immediately changed from anger to love. The tone of our texts and phone calls would immediately change. My feelings about her immediately changed from anger to complete and utter compassion for the pain she is in and appreciation for what she has given me. I was able to consistently understand that she had been doing the best she could do, given the hand she had been dealt, and the tools she had in her arsenal my entire life. Sometimes you absolutely need space from people in order to love them. I had a friend who had a very toxic relationship with his sister and his mother. His sister was an alcoholic, extremely anal, neurotic, and very rude in public. His mother was also an alcoholic, and she was very mean, always talking down to her children and talking negatively about other people in public. Whenever my friend would get a call from either his sister or his mother, his whole demeanor would change, he would reluctantly answer the call and then proceed to argue with his family member. He would end the call in a rage, with a massive shift in his biochemistry, from loving and open to angry and closed. No matter how good of a mood he was in or how good things were going, his entire flow of life would be interrupted in a matter of seconds. For years he would continue to keep relationships with his family, often giving them money, visiting them, consistently pick up the phone, and doing favors for them. When I asked him why he said “I have to they are my family.” I hear this very often and I want to be clear on what this means to me. When somebody is saying that, I hear “It is more important for me to be dutiful and follow the directions of our society, than it is to be happy and healthy.” All of these restrictive feelings and beliefs are branded into us. They are part of the matrix, and the societal beliefs that we have been taught. It is our birthright to be experiencing a wholesome, complete, and joyous life. One should be chasing the wholeness, joy, peace, and love at all costs. Even if that means severing a relationship with family members. The Fundamentals of Detox 19 But remember, severing relationships is often the very last step. There are first steps that can be taken that often save and improve a relationship. People will respect your decision to have a backbone and command a healthy relationship and a healthy life. The first step is to figure out what you absolutely need in order to carry out your healing process. It does not matter how outrageous, as long as you can dig deep and decipher it as a true need . The next step is to be very clear with your needs if they include and/or affect another person. You want to be clear, have a backbone, not worried about their reaction, but at the same time have heart. For instance, advice for my friend would be to call his mother and his sister and explain that he needs a break from speaking to them because he feels that their relationship is not healthy and not conducive to his utmost happiness. After the break, he could offer suggestions on how their relationship could continue in a healthier manner. This is an example of attempting to raise the frequency of the relationship and suggesting a new “game” to play at. If the request is taken poorly, not respected, or the person is beyond reason, a “cut” would most likely be the next move. Now that’s not saying to cut them out for the rest of eternity, but after some time, you will be much less likely to jump right back into an unhealthy pattern, once you get a taste of a boundaried life. Advice for me would be to move out of my mom’s house as quickly as possible at all costs. And that is what I did, even before it may have been financially “wise.” As we will discuss later on, money follows health, not the other way around. Conventional thinking and being dutiful is outdated and flawed. We may think that discontinuing to talk to somebody will hurt their feelings or “break their heart.” But by continuing to participate in unhealthy interactions, we are allowing the other person to continue being sick, and depriving them of their own process of growth. We can command our own sovereignty and peace and in the process be a catalyst for another person's growth. This is why healing is contagious. It is important to always remember that in life we get what we tolerate, we are not the victims. The third story revolves around my business. When I first started consulting, I was all heart, no backbone, and no boundaries. I thought that boundaries were rude and only for fifty-year old corporate stiffs... The Fundamentals of Detox 20 I would divulge my entire private life to clients, treat them as friends, and give them my personal cell number. I even gave free health advice to anybody that asked me questions via Facebook or email. It wasn’t long that I was being bombarded by texts, calls and extremely petty questions and requests. My personal life had completely merged with my work-life and I wouldn’t have lasted three months had I continued operating my business from that place. An amazing healing process that is saving lives all around the world would have melted away had I not created a separation, a boundary, between my work and my life. Nothing is sustainable without boundaries.