A Modest Proposal For preventing the homosexual population of the United States, from rejecting the Christian ideological roots that reflect the publick value It is a melancholy object to those in the world when they observe on the streets, within the stores and within the churches, to see displayed on media outlets the homosexual community and the actions they take that reduce the fabric of the fundamental roots that created the laws which govern our nation. The homosexuals, rather than live through the intentions set forth by our founding fathers and the popular majority, seek to encourage our youth to reduce themselves to a lifestyle that propagates disease and lives in a manner which can only be described as dangerous for their spiritual well-being. I think it is of a great degree to which a majority of the nation disagrees with the acceptance of such a lifestyle being normalized by the media outlets and certain members of our government, which ignores the intentions set forth in the documents which grant us our liberty and freedom from those that oppress us, and state the recognition of the sexual relationship to exist between only one man and one woman. It is through many years of personal reflection on the subject, and through many ideas which have surely been considered by others, that these ponderings have led me to conclude the homosexual has the capability to exist within society, should they accept and work to live through the values of the United States as determined by the people. It is known that now they live a repugnant lifestyle, engage in acts unholy in His eyes, that they encourage the faithful youth to reject the teachings of their elders and live in a manner unbecoming of the mannered-person, I propose to return to them the original intended state of mind instilled upon them at birth, and reform them so that once again the homosexual can provide to society. The number of souls in this nation being last approximated at 330 million I would calculate that approximately sixteen million and one half of the population engages in homosexual acts and behaviors regularly- subtract from this amount four million to represent the youthful inaugurated into the lifestyle. From this, the question is asked: How can they be returned to the original state of human behavior as intended upon their creation? We cannot simply outlaw the acts we have deemed undesirable, as the homosexual will still sexually engage in secrecy. We cannot refuse to validate their marriages, as they will continue to live with one another and engage without any means of legal or spiritual intervention. I am assured through conversations with the political members and spiritual leaders of society that the adult homosexual shall reject intervention based solely upon rational arguments meant to encourage them to return to their natural intended lifestyles. I shall now propose my own thoughts, of which I hope will not be liable to the least objection. I have been assured by a well-respected, knowledgeable leader of the Church that the young corrupted into living the homosexual lifestyle are not yet molded, and are still influenced by the teachings of their elders. I therefore offer to consideration by the publick of installing institutions of therapeutic practices created by organizations that reflect the intentions of the creator and of our founding fathers in which the four million youth shall be placed to undergo educational instruction and scientific practices to return them to their natural state. I grant that these institutions will be infallible, and increasingly valuable to the parents, scared and desperate, who seek to solidify the future well-being of the children indoctrinated into the homosexual lifestyle, I have already made to consider the offerings of such institutions, and to how they may better work towards providing the necessary requirements to help the souls of those lost within the derangement of the homosexual mindset. A rigorous routine of religious education will be the first offering to these youth as the institution begins to work with them to return their minds to the natural state of biological intention. Group sessions will be used to help the mentally-ill patients confide in one another their hedonistic actions, and to help them begin to forgive themselves for the sins which they have committed and the pain they have wrought upon themselves, their families, and their community. Should the homosexual resist these teachings, that is should they continue to exhibit the unnatural behaviors that mark them, a more rewarding method shall be required, in which we shall strap them upon a chair and attached to them wires which shall shock them should they positively respond to suggestive images of the same sex, ensuring that they begin to respond to these urges in the manner that the deer responds to the wolf. I am assured by my respected colleagues that these methods are undoubtedly effective, and after only a few short weeks of entering the reparative center the homosexual shall reject their desires, and reform into the heterosexual individual that they were meant to be with little chance of returning to their former state of animalistic desire. It is at this point that I must highlight the advantages of such a program, and the potential that it possesses for dispelling the now rising notion among the minority of the normalcy of such a lifestyle. For first, the youth homosexual is likely to be repulsed by the lifestyle on their own, even upon indoctrination into the community, an aspect which must be capitalized on in order to help them refuse their undesireable emotions and sexual feelings and normalize them back into the heteronormative culture. Secondly, The youthful homosexual is still developing mentally, allowing our intervention to be more successful in shaping them into the member of the community they were meant to be as described by our forefathers. Thirdly, The increasing amount of homosexual acts publickally displayed within the community shall not only dimish, but begin to more openly be admonished by only the respectable authority figures of society but also the newly reformed heterosexual youth who successfully completed the therapy prescribed to them under the influence of God and his benefactors, leading to a new wave of progressivism in which the heterosexual lifestyle will once again be promoted as the only officially recognized lifestyle by the publick and by the government. Many other advantages could be relayed, such as the potential for the reformed youth to encourage the adult homosexual to pursue the reparative therapy themselves, or the official mandate of the federal government that homosexual practices shall result in entrance into these facilities, and I can think of no one objection that could possibly be raised against this proposal unless it should be urged by the nation that the number of homosexuals within the United States will be lessened. As to myself, having been wearied by many years of turmoil with interactions of the homosexual community and countless hours spent upon fortunately falling upon this proposal, wholly new, and creating an intricate idea which can save the souls of our youth. I am not so vain, so obsessed with my own opinion, to reject an offer proposed by wise men that shall so safely ensure the reformation of the homosexual into an acceptable member of our society in an efficient, easy, and effectual manner as my own. I profess from the sincerity of my own soul that I have not the faintest fundamental education nor the personal interest in promoting this necessary course of action, having no other motive than to return the national values to that of their original intention as set forth by God. I have no children nor family of my own by which I can propose to send into these institutions, myself having chosen to remain celibate out of a lack of interest in marriage.