429729963-Lui-s-Journal-Collected-Works.pdf

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Who ever he may be for you (Buddha, Jesus Christ, Allah, etc...) ⦁ The man who is indifferent to sin does more wrong than committing a sin to correct the sin he sees... You lead the way, I'll close my eyes, To all my temptations everyday, I'll hold your hand, You lead the way, Take me to that place we both enjoy, Your heart, Something so beautiful, I could never destroy... 1 14 Everyone thinks they know where they're going. Late to an appointment, late to this, late to that. Fuck you, how dare you...Everyone works toward their dreams, their aspirations, placing their priorities in order. Condescending in nature, unnaturally nice. Why does everyone try to be the 'better man' in a confrontation? What ever happened to "hey, hey, you know what FUCK you", whatever happened to the traditional ideal of being a man? Whatever happened to “beating your wife” [within reason and never physically in real life]? That's it, from now on, here and today, I will not take shit from anyone (unless I really deserve it). Today, a [white] motherfucker (I'm not racist) pissed me off. He picked me out unnecessarily. Looking for a fight? Maybe not this time. I should have thrown down my ballot, turned around and said, "I fucking heard you. Now what the FUCK do you want? A fight? Well come over here you motherfucker, come here and let's fight. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. (scream now) Fuck You. FUCK YOU" Fuck everyone who thinks they're so self-righteous. Fuck the athletes. Fuck women. Fuck people who never graduated from high school. Fuck teen mothers, especially them. Fuck altruism. Fuck women. Fuck pussy. Fuck my dick, all it wants is pussy. Fuck pussy. Fuck my mind. Go fuck yourself. Fuck Iraq. Fuck terrorists. Fuck the U.S.A. Fuck peace. Fuck war. Fuck women. Fuck that uneasy silence around them. Fuck supermodels. Fuck regular models? Fuck being a role model. Fuck pretty women. Fuck pretty women who know they are. Fuck the pretty women without their consent, rape them, terrorize them, traumatize them. Fucking put them in their place. A Woman should know her place. Fuck titles. Fuck people who have an honorary title. Fuck people who have an honorary title and know it, rape them too. Fuck thugs. Fuck homies. Fuck chinks. Fuck ethnocentrism, fuck the music everyone listens to, rape whoever listens to it. Everyone rape each other. Fuck time. Fuck women. Fuck women who think they're smart. Fuck women who think they're smarter than me. Fuck women who think they're as capable as me. Fuck man, I'm tired. 1 15 Greg Fox Quotes - Let's make like a fetus and head out. - Let's bust this clambake. - Bend over, it's my turn to drive. Gay Club Ideas --------------- - The manhole - The Jackhammer "Man lotion" "Man Yoghourt" 1 16 hypocritical is it to say "I hate money" when I depend on it everyday? Is it like saying "I hate eating shit", but a moment after taking a bite? Is it enough to claim to dislike something (or some system) but seconds late joining the herd? If someone eats shit everyday why do they claim not to? Is it like the napkin that wipes it off your lips? Is it better to hypocritically claim that your ideals are inclined toward an equitable future for mankind when in reality you participate in the very destruction of it, or is it better to just admit to reality and say "Yes, in money I trust"? I have a creeping suspicion, one that makes the hairs on my neck stand on end; that there's a reason "In God We Trust" is printed on a $100 bill. Understandably (and by extension), there are only two god$ in America: the only I haven't mentioned being ignorance. My grandchildren are Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, printed neatly on 6 X 3 inch bills. After all, that's all I will someday leave behind to the world, a stack of papers with dead slave owners printed on it. 1 17 [originally titled "like i said what the fuck is"] the point of freedom of speech if we never say anything anyways? Sometimes I feel like Myspace=Prolefeed. And blogs are stupid (I can't believe I actually just searched for what music I'm listening to so that you know, this is fucking gay). 1 18 I was in a parking lot trying to get out. It was like a university parking lot and apparently a large event had just ended. There were people walking to their cars everywhere and people who had already gotten to their vehicles were driving down as well. Police were at every turn for crowd control (as is common at many large events). I remember feeling strapped into the car. It was more than just being belted to the car seat, it was like a roller coaster. It was almost suffocating. I don’t know exactly who I was with but we left our parking space and we drove down the parking lot towards the exit. I remember distinctly the person I was with was female because her driving skills worried me (I only worry when a girl drives). I saw many CHiPs lining the small street down to the exit. All of the sudden, my cousin (I don’t know why it feels like I was with a female cousin) almost hit a pedestrian wearing white shorts in front of us. One of the cops saw this and told her to pull over. Because she was extremely drunk, she knew that if they caught her, she was going to be arrested for driving inebriated. It’s really strange to me how this all felt like it was in the future, but as my cousin ignored the cops instructions to pull over, we continued down the parking lot. The cop had tapped the window and asked her to pull over but she just kept going. At this point, there were no alarms or anything to stop us. We kept the same speed going down (speed limit) and when we got to the bottom of the structure, it seems my cousin finally decided to pull over like the cop had instructed her to. She saw a clearing right by the exit of the parking lot and decided to pull over there. There was a cop car parked there and there were utility doors on the walls. A stairwell led up to the 2 nd floor. As she moved in to park in front of the cop car, she almost drove straight into the cop car and out from under our car, just in front of the hood, lept up a police dog. It seemed like it was afraid for its life and it squeezed in closer to the police car it was chained up to so as to not be killed by our impeding vehicle. My cousin realized what she was doing and stopped moving forward. The dog then jumped up on a table containing the chain (the chain holding him to where he was) and then jumped back on our hood and began sniffing (I’m guessing for drugs). Panic rushed into me as I knew that we had drugs in our car (how I knew, I don’t know, this wasn’t something I remember from earlier in the dream). I suppose the same panic that rushed into me, attacked my cousin as well because then she backed up and began to try to leave the parking structure. I remember all of the sudden things changed a little. All of the sudden, I remember now feeling like I was strapped in with something around my neck (I distinctly remember a heavy yellow quick tie strap, like the ones 18‐wheeler trucks use to hold cargo). Whether this was new (dreams tend to do that as we all know, just invent new shit out of nowhere that wasn’t before) or if this was the strapping device that had always been there, I don’t know. What I do know is that the feeling of that ‘safety’ device felt like it was the strap but it was somehow connected to my shirt, like it was part of my shirt. I remember that now I was facing outside toward the outside of the building. I was now right under the exit. Outside, there were still people leaving the building, but they were not in any sort 1 19 of panic. All of the sudden, I look up and I see heavy metal gates begin to descend upon me. I try to back up, but I’m strapped in firmly. Also, the yellow strap attached to me, goes outside the building (as does four people’s next to me) and I try to pull to back up so the gate doesn’t crush me, but its futile. The gates begin to fall and to my surprise, it doesn’t kill me, though I am firmly secured to where I am. At this point, I know I can’t move one inch. I was no longer in a car, now I was on a rollercoaster type car. My cousin was still next to me, but now we were strapped into a different car, one that has no roof, windows, doors, steering wheel – its really just like a rollercoaster car. There are two other people there with us but they are next to my cousin so I can’t see them, I am furthest to the right. The feeling I had from before is still there, I feel ominously that all that is going on is happening to apprehend me. I look near my feet, and all of the sudden, the building has become very complex below me. The best way I can describe it is that it looks like a rollercoaster track below me. But it’s the sort of track that you see at the theme parks in the area where you board the coaster. There are wires, and small ‘status’ lights, small compartment doors, red hoses, and all sorts of other technological gizmos that I don’t understand but I know are there. They are all painted bright blue, and this contrasts quite nicely with the dull grey of the building’s concrete. I hear voices in an intercom sort of prepping for something that is going to occur. The heavy grey gates from before are no longer in front of me, they have either been removed or simply never existed (funny how you don’t question this in a dream), I can see outside and the late afternoon sky is interestingly the same color as the concrete parking structure. For some reason, I know that there are many more people in cars just like mine who are strapped down and who can’t move. This whole event now feels like the cops (or whoever the ‘higher ups’ are) aren’t trying to catch us anymore, it seems like they’re doing all this for crowd control now. For some reason, I know the next step, the next step is to drug the crowd, make us all complacent. I feel an earthquake coming on (could it be that now this wasn’t crowd control, but a terrible disaster was going to occur? Was it the end of the world?). I knew that this tactic of drugging people (I somehow knew this in this little world) was used to make them forget what was just occurring and make them ‘have a nice day’. On the intercom, a stereotypical female voice is heard (its like all those voices you hear in science fiction movies where things are automated but whenever something happens, a soothing female voice announces it, sort of like ‘self‐destruct in T‐minus 5 minutes...’ kinda thing). The voice announces, “Now applying benzodiaprene”. All of the sudden a mist of liquid is sprayed down from the walls and from the arm rests on the seats and from everywhere, it seems, we are being sprayed. As the spray began to hit my face, I knew I had been here before, I had tasted the sweet benzodiaprene cocktail. I knew what the effects of benzodiaprene were. All of the sudden, I began to hallucinate (yes hallucinate in my dream) that I was in my childhood room. Then I came back to reality on the rollercoaster. My vision was hazy and colors were distorted, my vision just looked 2 20