SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 1 SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 2 " SECRET NOT SECRET " TABLE OF CONTENTS ****** SUMMARIES OF THE NARRATIVES AND BRIGHT TRUTHS CONTRIBUTING TO "SECRET NOT SECRET" PAGES 4 - 39 ****** PART ONE: "THE BOOK OF THE BONE FIRE GIRL" INCLUDING THE COMPASSIONATE THIRD NARRATIVE PAGE 40 ***** * PART TWO: "THE DESTRUCTION, THE DEVASTATION AND THE COURSE CORRECTION" (THE DD & CC) PAGE 110 INCLUDING THE 23 INVISIBLE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION USED BY PRIMITIVE, TRIBALISTIC, IMPOSTER ATTORNEYS, COMMISSIONERS AND JUDGES IN THEIR DARK, SECRET, BIG BUSINESS IN UTAH. PAGE 1 30 ****** PART THREE: "A GRAIN OF SALT TO TRADE FOR ANYTHING" INCLUDING: THE LIST OF 55 PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSES PAGE 1 70 ****** PART FOUR: "THE MARVELOUS WORKS AND THE WONDER" INCLUDING: CREATING THE "HEARD IMMUNITY" TO SUICIDE A ND OTHER CHALLENGES PAGE 228 ****** PART FIVE: "MORE WORDS OF WISDOM" PAGE 239 SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 3 If you've watched my (attempt) at a youtube video where I talk about parts of this and my no - shave - november (attempt at a beard) finally gets shaved at the end, you'll kno w how I feel about billboards and that they need to go away. Until then however, if anyone would like to anonymously fund a billboard supporting these causes, the following domains also point directly to this PDF. AllMormonsAreVictims.org Infotreatise.or g GenderDynamic.org OriginsOfAbuse.org SecretNotSecret.org TheHeardImmunity.org LabelsAintStable.com The following domains redirect to the Youtube video (for now): BetterThanAGondola.com GuvvyWuvvy.com UtahLegalStories.com UtahLegalStories.org NewUtahStat eBar.com NewUtahStateBar.org Also, anonymous or non - anonymous piles of cash should be sent to : Venmo: @UtahDap DonorB ox: UtahDap.org ( Along with UtahDap.com, t hese are the only offi cial places your piles of cash are accepted. Don't be duped by imposte rs. All amounts with or without notes are happily appreciated. If you're trying to contact me and email is presenting challenges, try a Venmo of any amount with a note of what number to call.) SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 4 " If an angry person picks up a sword their life will soon end and they will be forgotten. If an ang ry person picks up a candle, a ruler and a pencil, their life will soon begin and they will be remembered " "The truth is like a lion, you don't have to defend it. Let it loose, it will defend itself." ****** Hidd en history has revealed chains of events, people and connections hiding some of the worst tragedies in American history. This includes innocent luminaries from the 1800's such as the polymath Samuel Latham Mitchill, the special agent for the U.S.A. Luther Bradish, the author of "The Last of The Mohicans" James Fenimore Cooper, the isolated but endeared professor Charles Anthon and others . This also reveals how from pre - modern to modern times, millions of followers of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - Da y Saints" (formerly known as "Mormons") are victims and survivors. "If the challenging wonders are going to be questioned, the comfortable wonders must also be questioned. " " Do not waste a moment wondering why there weren't more questions asked Inste ad, o pen up that wonder into the warmth of curiosity, exploring and surprise. " To present this I have created a factually based story titled " The Book of The Bone Fire Girl" that is one of five parts of "Secret Not Secret." This story is not disillusion ment This story is not confirmation bias . This story is not schadenfreude . This story is the most comprehensive, factually based narrative of L.D.S h istory as that relates to U.S. h istory and L.D.S. history from pre - modern to modern times. This story is a thrilling new American beginning told in an unorthodox w ay with plenty of red - white - and - blue, SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 5 stars - and - stripes and electric guitars (just like it should be.) E ven though what I've uncovered and put together dema nds endless, interweaving , individual stori es told in traditional colonial and western ways through book, film and stage, I've chosen to tell and share this story the way I have f or now due to my perspective of it relating to millions of victims and non - victims in different patriotic ways For th is story, a real , pre - modern person named Lucy Hill is "The Bone Fire Girl" because she witnessed many skeletons being put in the closet of pre - modern Mormonism . By finding a wa y to tell her story about those skeletons in modern times she is metaphorically burning those skeletons in the fires of truth. To tell this story, Lucy found an eccentric scribe named Vox Chiasmus and he wrote it down for her. My apologies to The Book of Mormon Musical if what this reveals brings a final curtain to what was a brill iantly textured, wonderful conversation starter for more than 12 years. ****** SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 6 A NOTE ABOUT ETIQUITTE REGARDING FOLLOWERS OF "THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER - DAY SAINTS (FORMERLY REFERRED TO AS "MORMONS") Rather than the word "M ormon , " many followers of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - Day Saints" prefer to be referred to as " a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - Day Sai nts " For many reasons that is fair and understandable. Out of respect to that preference and t o minimize any chances for confusion or suspicion of ill will about all this , it needs to be noted that the use of the word "Mormonism" is in reference to the entire organization including more than a dozen corporations as well as the entire organization's past, present and future functions not just it's cultural functions. Hopefully ( and also for many reaso ns) , the use of the term Mormonism for this purpose is also fair and understandable ( When I say "all Mormons are victims" I mean ALL Mormons are victim s in many ways regardless of role. ) Be cause thi s PDF is available globally and because of what it reveals about certain parts of Mormonism and how that may affect victims from all walks of life, especially those vulnerable young men and women serving as missionaries , it's important to remember, "an ounce of prev ention is worth a pound of cure " This is important when it comes to protecting them from potential opportunists. If you are a follower and all this sounds a little overwhelming, don't stop now. C onsider setting a timer for 10 minutes and see what " pounds of cure " you discove r for self, loved ones, neighbors and community. Remember, "The darker the night, the brighter the stars." I f you look down because it seems " the s un has passed " you will mis s those stars and the sunrise. RESOURCES If you are one of the millions of victims of these certain parts of Mormonism or are one of the hundreds of thousands of descendants of any of the people r epresented in The Book of The Bone Fire Girl , please do not take SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 7 any of this personally as you may have been conditioned to do. Remember, t his is not about blame mongering. This is about conversation starting and discovering blossoms of healing and learning Until more specific suppo rt groups are created en mass in to aid in this rewarding process for everybody, outside resources for help for now include dialing the 988 Crisis Lifeline or going to www. 988lifeline.org. Another resource is www.StopItNow.org. Click on "Help and Guidance" near the top, then cli ck on "Library of Resources" and under the "Quick L inks" click on "Crisis Hotlines." Remember to pursue at least 2 or 3 resources so you can be enabled with more than one to discover what will work for you. Consider looking for other resources online usin g similar key words including the local area as well as working with established community resources to organize support groups in public buildings where available ****** ABOUT THIS FIVE PART PDF TITLED "SECRET NOT SECRET" Because you may be reading this in paper that someone may have printed off and given to you, know that this PDF can be found online at www. PDFHost.io by searching " Secret Not Secret 3.2.23 " for the most recent version. ( Between October 2022 and February 2023, four previous versions of this have had a total of more than 10,000 view s ) At www.UtahDap.com you can find: an invitation to play a critical role in seeing several of the new causes this body of work introduces come to fruition, a link to more than 125 of the hundreds of hid den resources I discovered and pieced together for this , another link to the latest version of this free, momentum gaining PDF, other links and also wa ys you can contact me. As opportunities to commercialize this come together, these causes are so vitally important that invitations for donations in any amount will always be given. As momentum grows, other domains listed at the end of this PDF should also point you directly to the UtahDap.com page. Clearing browser history, cookies, etc...may help if domain f orwarding doesn't seem to work for a domain. SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 8 ABOUT ME My name is Michael D. Jarman. It ' s great to meet you and it ' s great that you are willing to be a part of this ongoing conversation I am not a professional writer and I don't expect to ever be one a nd because of that (and because of less than perfect grammar,) t his PDF is free for now with the plan that contributions of others will be included in a big, heavy, hardback collector's edition available to purchase one day (maybe ) There will also, always be typos. I promise. Just roll with it. For quotes used in this version, I didn't reveal the names for several reasons. This is because if you're interested in who is " credited " with a quote and if there's another source for it other than this PDF , a sear ch for it will bring other rewarding opportunities for curiosity, discovery and surprise. (L ike in the case of Shakespeare how one credited quote might imply something very different than what is lesser known to be believed about him and the previously acc epted, pre - modern sources of a few of his most popular stories .) I'm also more of concept and research guy and I also believe in exploring new challenges and because of that (attempting) to put this five - part body of work together pro bono under circumst ances very far from ideal and including unimaginable deceptions at the ha nds of different Utah State licensees as well as other overwhelming challenges that I never could have imagined has been a lot of emotional and intellectual heavy lifting for me for a n overwhelmingly unpredictable amount of time. Because of that, t he experience to get to this part of this way has transformed me in ways I never could have imagined and that I am grateful for . Although there is still some more equipment to choose and use regarding parts of this, the game plan is there and that is thrilling. My apologies if I seem a little rough around the edges at times as you exp lore this PDF because I'm sure the combination of all this shows I've tried to keep it "PG" rated because I recognize Utah teens are also reading it and I'm also sorry for any challenges this body of work may seem to bring any reader at first but I believe the additional resources that will be discovered along the way individually and collectively and w ill resul t in self - congratulations and virtual air - fist - bump s for self and me ( aka " dap s " ) long before these pages are cycled through. SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 9 Because of all this, it is still a work in progre ss (and probably always will be ) but it was important to me to start releasing v ersions of it because of who it seems may benefit from it. Hopefully you knowing this helps shine a light on why any parts might seem less - than - polished. There are also dozens of resources created by others that this body of work couldn't have been create d without and whose creators I look forward to acknowledging more specifically in future editions as a result of communicating with them (or their descendants) as this work continues. There is also a lot of work to still be done with you being invited to h elp do it in different ways. This work is important in many ways. The broad scope of these ways include what Utah has been , what Utah is and what Utah can be for it's 3.2 million full - time residents, it's hundreds of t housands of part - time residents, m ore than 10 million visitors every year (and growing) , the rest of the U.S.A and the rest of the globe Because of what this work r eveals about Mormonism and Utah and the scope of what needs to be done involving many different or interwoven layers for Ut ah bec ause of it, it seems an impossible amount of consulting may be asked of me. Rather than that and many loose ends remaining exploited because of it , it seems it makes more sense for me to be Utah's Guvvy Wuvvy (aka G overnor ) for at least one term star ting in 2024 This includes showing Utah's constantly rotating le gislature what needs to be done because of what "Secret Not Secret" reveals about Mormonism and other things and how to do it regardless of who is momentarily sitting in any of those 104 r otating seats and on what parts of their pathways they are on. This is because in addition to what " The Book of The Bone Fire Girl " reveals about Mormonism in Utah and abroad , "Secret Not Secret" also exposes more than 23 terrifying invisible weapons of ma ss destruction used by Utah's primitive tribalistic, imposter attorneys, commissioners and judges in their dark, secret, big business through the deceptive private corporation known as " The Utah State Bar " operating at the dark hands of Utah's broken, caps izing politics. As part of this cleansing and creating anew, t his also includes putting an end to more than 55 terrifying , psychological abuses used by those tribes and other imposters and how the abuses started. SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 10 I believe Utah's current Governor Spencer Cox will give me his invitation and endorsement . Contributing to this belief is because in recent years it has become app arent that he has other talents, abilities and concerns that if he is given the freedom to cultivate and pursue , he will do inspiring things that will be rewarding for Utah's people and diverse cultures of all ages in many other ways (even though he too is quietly a member of the tribalistic "Utah S tate Bar " and has been shortsightedly forced to do things in his roles as Lieutenant Gover nor for 8 years and now as Governor for 2 years that I'm sure he regrets. ) INVITATION TO ALL PRIMITIVE, TRIBALISTIC, IMPOSTERS POSING IN ROLES AS " JUDGES, " " COMMISSIONERS" AND " ATTORNEYS " AND IN O THER DECEPTIVE ROLES IN UTAH Because the dark gatekeeper of corruption in critical parts of Utah's broken court s for more than 90 years has been a private corporation deceptively allowed to be named the "Utah State Bar" and because the "Utah State Bar" is beyond reproach and beyond repair, it's time to just let the imposters drag it to the depths of wherever it is going. To do this, an alternative , A NEW UTAH STATE BAR simply needs to be created and the hundreds of warring, tribalistic, broken imposters who are members of the existing "Utah State Bar" won't be a llowed to join. That way they will have weeded themselves out. Since I started compiling and sharing reports of this corruption in 2017 many imposters in leadership roles have already jumped the capsizing ship hoping they won't get caught or to try to co llect dark forms of retirement. To those imposters who have eng aged in the darkest forms of the se 23 invisible weapons of mass destruction ( and there are hundreds of you) time in an F ederal prison or other institution is in your future. To others , t he a mount of financial penalties that will be paid, jail time that will be served in a Utah prison, community service that will be engaged in a nd the possibility of monitored membership in the NEW UTAH STATE BAR may find you through a tiered scale of amnesty r econciled with cooperation SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 11 The NEW UTAH STATE BAR will also require that all co mmunications between non - tribalistic attorneys and temporary "clients" be conducted through an online portal that is easy to monitor (and easy to make public if any discrepan cies arise .) Additionally , to the warring, tribalistic, broken imposters: 1) Cases involving divorce, custody, collections and evictions will no longer be presented before the illusions of a single "commissioner" or before the illusions of a single "ju dge." A process th at is impossible for any broken, tribalistic imposter to exploit under the illusions of these banners will be implemented instead. There will also no longer be a tribalistic "Judicial Conduct Commission" or other tribalistic "commissions" or organizations that only serve their tribe's dark interests. 2 ) You will no longer be enabled to enable yourselves to use your own illusions of "the law" to perpetuate a system enabling yourselves to indemnify yourselves from your addiction to stea ling and other insidious acts through your manufacturing of chaos and through your colluding to secretly make legal matters for others involving custody, divorce, eviction and collection take years so you can steal colossal fortunes from your targeted victims Regardless of who the Utah Attorney General is, you will no longer be able to do this in any way including disguising your victims as your "clients," as "petitioners" and as "respondents." Workable, sustainable, monitored processes with regular progress reports and modifications if needed will be implemented for these cases instead. 3 ) Regardless of the reasons your targets first became your "client s ," "petitioners" or "respondents" and especially whether it was for issues related to custody, divorce, eviction and collection, you will no longer be allowed to allow yourselves to use your tribalistic courts to tell lies about colossal fortunes in false amounts owed to you or to harass your victims with threats in your dark attempts to collect these coloss al false amounts or to do this in the dark hopes your victims will commit suicide from the overwhelming stress you intentionally inflict upon them so you can secretly steal more colossal fortunes from them and from the equity in their home after they die. 4 ) You will no longer be allowed to allow yourselves to be imposters. Certain, NEW disclosures and processes protecting any potential client SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 12 from you (and themselves in their overwhelmed, vulnerable condition ) will b e required and you will use these disc losures like other, non - tribalistic professions are required to use disclosures in their industries 5 ) You will no longer be allowed to engage in the rest of the 23 invisible weapons of mass destruction you have secretly allowed yourselves and your trib e to engage in for more than 90 years. 6) If you're a tribalistic member of the current "Utah State Bar" and/or you are serving as an imposter in any of these other roles, consider this your invitation to pursue non - tribalistic endeavo rs instead. Wh ateve r you do though , please stay in Utah s o you will be eas ier to find when th e time comes, especially if the Fed's take advantage of the rewards of further founding the U.S.A. by empowering the Fed's non - tribalistic offices of the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security and other agencies to be the ones who get to play knock - knock - kick - kick - flash - bang - boom as necessary from the Governor's broken door to you and your tribe's broken front doors. 7) This dark , secret, big business you have tribalistically perpetuated for y our bank accounts under your own illusions of "Utah Law" for more than 90 years and at the cost of the lives of Utah's families, parents and children is over. Utah will no longer be home to the worst rates in the Nation of suicide, child abuse, emotional h ealth challenges, fraud and other challenges due to your exploitation at Utahan's financial, physical and emotional expense Instead of the dark chambers where echo's of " Your H onor " were deceptively heard countless times a day for 90 years Utah's children and guiding their parents through the se overwhelming challenges will be O ur H onor 8) Th e first Utah is over. The f irst West is over. The first U.S.A. is over. Welcome to the New Utah. Welcome to the New West. Welcome to the New U.S.A For those non - trib alistic people qualified to belong to the New Utah State Bar your best time to take action was yesterday Your second best time is NOW. P reviously unimaginable, wonderful ways to engage in rewarding pursuits for the New Utah , the New West and the New U.S.A will continue for all SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 13 INVITATION TO ALL OFFICIAL AND UNOFFICIAL L.D.S. HISTORIANS AND U.S. HISTORIANS These pages represent a body of work including future publications, documentaries, films, websites, podcasts, support groups, supporting items a nd more presented in part with an intricate, elaborate, original context catalyzed by the author's office. This context has been catalyzed from hidden history , forgotten history, claimed history and discr epancies discovered, intuited or otherwise brought t o light through the author's office. L.D.S. h istorians, U.S. historians influencers and others of any persuasion and including any of the dozens of sanctioned and unsanctioned organizations including "FARMS", "FAIR" and others who may politely disagree w ith any part deemed critical to the overall context the author's office has catalyzed for "THE BOOK OF THE BONE FIRE GIRL" or any part of this PDF are extended a continued invitation for polite and public discussion regarding this body of work. SCOOPING THROUGH 247 YEARS OF DIFFERENT, INTERCONNECTED LAYERS OF GOOEY GOO FROM DIFFERE NT BUT RELATED PLACES AND TIMES. Because there are many counterintuitive timelines running concurrently through this body of work involving different parts of the past 247 ye ars as they relate to U.S. history and L.D.S. history and because some readers may understandably just want to do a quick dap before sitting in the circle around Lucy's fire and actively participating in the conversation in rewarding ways , it seems to make sense to start with three short summaries (a.k.a. TL;DR's " Too Long For Me Didn't Read " ) even though these TL;DR's don't even scratch the surface of what is to be found inside (l ike a multi - lay ered dish of J ell - o with all sorts of goodies in it. ) ( If TL ;DR's #2 and #3 seem hard to swallow, remember that's the trade off you make for trying to gobble the entire dish at once .) ****** SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 14 TL;DR #1 (6 PAGES) : SOME OF THE MANY INSIGHTS THIS FIVE PART PDF TITLED "SECRET NOT SECRET" SHARES PART ONE : "THE BOOK OF THE BONE FIRE GIRL" - An alarming, BUT INSPIRING , new, THIRD narrative for Mormonism spanning the USA's pre - modern , colonial times through today. Although I created the context of this new story, I meticulously researched, discovered and used hidden, f orgotten and known facts from Mormonism's history, New York's history and U.S. history to create it. Because of this, this story is more historically and comprehensively accurate than either of the other two narratives for Mormonism you may have already he ard. Among many other insights, this includes a 24 year long, relatively unknown abyss in the process of the pre - modern U.S.A. forming new States. The same time the secret beginnings of Mormonism took place under Martin Harris' hijacked, darkly altruisti c plan to save the failed U.S.A This story also includes revealing for the first time six intangibles Palmyra, New York's Martin Harris came into possession of during this time and how these six intangibles were critical for his imitation of that patrio tic plan to work the way it did. These six intangibles are: #1) More than enough cash and credit from three generations of the Harris family's ongoing kiln, farming and linen operations. This includes producing bleached linen for sheets, curtains, cloth ing and eventually undergarments made from New England flax rather than these items having to be brought in from the South and made of cotton. (During 1822 - 1824 Martin won different awards from entering his soft, white, made - from - flax linen in competitions . (He would have been 39 - 41 during these years.) (Parts of history indicate that the Harris' raised and sold livestock too but that it wasn't at the top of their list of money makers.) #2) Powerful connections to prolific statesmen, authors, professors a nd polymaths (some who are friends with presidents) who for this story Martin will deceive directly or indirectly, including childhood friend Luther Bradish from Palmyra. SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 15 #3) A front row stage to an always new, endless line of weary, humble, grateful a nd fearless newcomers. This will happen for Martin with the completion of the Erie Canal stretching 363 miles from Albany, New York (on the Hudson River) to Buffalo, New York and including Palmyra on the way. The entirety of the unprecedented canal took 9 years for resident and immigrant patriots to hand dig and was finished in 1825. (It also took previous years to plan with plenty of opponents and controversy.) The canal's impact on the Harris' capabilities and in fueling New York City and the surrounding region to become the global titan it has become in modern times cannot be understated in anyway however it must be noted that this critical role of the Erie Canal for New York, for Palmyra, and for the Harris' is all but forgotten in critical parts of Mor monism's own 223 year public history. #4) As a wealthy, uneducated, patriotic but non - statesman landowner, Martin had no need to behave in any manner concerned with maintaining a public reputation. Because of this he could take far more risks including getting away with crimes other people with reputations would never dare imagine. This will allow Martin to operate in a wide range of dark and clandestine ways freely without any regard for potential for reproach. #5) The ability to make and carry out v iolent threats, even against children, no matter how violent the actions would become or how visibly counterintuitive they were. Contributing to this was that parts of history claim that Martin fought at times during the 3 years of what is known as the War of 1812 in the New England area. If that's true, as a war veteran of that patriotic war, it's likely that he killed in the name of patriotism and that fueled his patriotic but dark altruism in horrific ways. (This, along with anything else outside of Mart in being represented as a humble farmer burdened with a troubled wife is also left out of parts of Mormonism's history.) #6) An ever changing, fear mongered, desperate population made up of many different cultures of many different residents and immigran ts SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 16 from all walks of life and with varying degrees of patriotism for the failing U.S.A. (or having patriotism for the other nations trying to take over the U.S.A.) PART TWO : "THE DESTRUCTION, THE DEVASTATION AND THE COURSE CORRECTION" - Insights into the s cope of the IRS' counterintuitive, prevaricating role towards multi - billion dollar parts of Mormonism operating as commercial, for - profit corporations. (Unlike millions of other commercial , for - profit corporations in the U.S.A, these commercial, for - profit corporations of Mormonism are not taxed by the IRS because they counterintuitively (and quietly) claim to parts of the IRS that they rely on the uninformed , volunteer efforts of millions of followers to accomplish their commercial, for - profit financial pu rposes so those parts of the IRS look the other way.) Insights into counterintuitive, alarming events related to Mormonism in modern times. This includes exposing those 23 invisible weapons of mass destruction used by Utah's imposter attorneys and courth ouses perpetuated by different tribes of Utah's internally warring politics. Every year, under the darkened 90 year old banner of the tribalistic "Utah State Bar," these invisible weapons of mass destruction allow hundreds of tribalistic members of "Utah S tate Bar" to target, exploit and purposely destroy the lives of thousands of Utahans' from all walks of life for their tribe's secret financial gain. Tribe members deceptively hide behind their own dark illusions of "the law" under the titles of "attorney, " "commissioner," "judge" and other titles to do this. In the process, these deceitful, broken people turn their once thriving targets into critically vulnerable victims with the insidious hope that their victims will commit suicide so they can pile up mor e colossal fortunes for their tribe from their victim's death. This contributes to parts of Utah terrifyingly hosting the worst rates in the U.S.A. for suicide, child abuse, child neglect, child suicide and financial fraud. This contributes to terrifying challenges for every part of every culture, community, neighborhood and home at every altitude and especially for the brave men and women filling Utah's neglected teacher, law enforcement and rescue roles. SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 17 PART THREE : "A GRAIN OF SALT TO TRADE FOR ANYTH ING" - This includes a new guide to a new spectrum identifying the invisible, reverberating strings of more than 55 abuses This spectrum could also be referred to as "55 Signs You're In An Abusive Relationship With An Imposter, a Hijacker or An Imitator ." An abuser can be a person, an organization or a culture engaging in the abuses intentionally or unintentionally Without awareness an abuser can also be self towards self This is because r egardless of where the reverberating strings of the abuses co me from, o ut of no self - fault , parts of that brain can sometimes be deceived into hyper - responding to the unidentified abuses in many deceptive ways including creating depersonalizing echo chambers and maladaptive false comforters that are self - destructive , self - deceiving nightmares and that lead to many other overwhelming challenges. (There are other words and phrases for "depersonalizing" such as " interfering ," "undermining," "putting a stick in the spokes," "assigning labels" etc...and we'll explore more of these in this guide.) These maladaptive false comforters are many imposters, hijackers and imitators. S ome are self - destructive imposters of self - righteousness. The spheres of illusion and reaction of some are exponentially more deceptive than others. This includes : t aking anything personally; comparing to others ; harboring jealousy ; harboring anger ; being offended; fear; doubting ones potential; confirmation bias; projecting; a ny of the emotional health challenges shortsightedly over - simplified by con temporary emotional healthcare as " disorders " ( including " eating disorders " ); self - serving sorrow ( as opposed to sorrow promoting learning, growing or action ) ; depression; anxiety; the spectrum of Dark Altruism ( this includes intentional to prevaricated ac ts , individual to cultural acts , also sometimes described as Acts - o f - Com mission to Acts - of - Omission , m ore on this later ); self - righteousness; "turning the other cheek" (more on this later too); what is sometimes labeled by parts of emotional healthcare as " freezing, fleeing or fighting" and more. The conversations regarding what other maladaptive false comforters are will fill volumes. SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 18 An example of something that isn't a false comforter is invited fear that may be from an adventure, an accepted challeng e, etc... C onversations about what aren't false comforters will also fill many volumes. "You can only be afraid of what you think you know." With this spectrum and the awareness and intervention that comes with it, instead of being deceived by those d epersonalizing echo chambers and the depths of the maladaptive false comforters that follow them there is something else. There isn't one word to describe it and to aid in conversation I'll share some notes about it. I'm sure you'll have plenty of notes of your own too. This is partly because i nstead of " defining " it is a type of " refining ." It is something you already know how to do but different challenges contributed to you being temporarily overwhelmed and temporarily not doing it. Instead of "fr eezing, fleeing or fighting" it is "flipping the script." It is letting the notes of your own music overwhelm the words of that script. It is seeding and reseeding with that better seed. It is personalizing self. It is repersonalizing self. It is radi a ntly radia ting. It is radiantly repersonalizing It is not just that "fire" that burns the old and warms anew, it is that "white fire" that creates It is breathing. It is igniting. It is maneuvering. It is dancing. It is learning. It is inviting. It i s applauding. It is teaching. It is cheering. It is that first water. It is that first medicine , that first "Rx ." I t is enabling all these beautiful wonders and more beautiful wonders in beautiful , wonderful reciprocating ways Wonderful wonders that have been deceptively impostered, hijacked and imitated by the reverb erating strings of abuse , their deceptive ly depersonalizing echo chambers and the m aladaptive false comforters that follow them for far too lon g. It is... SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 19 (made you smile ) This gui de also reveals that many abusers started as victims themselves and unknowingly beca me deceived into being addicted to t he depths of those maladaptive false comforters by trying to appease those depersonalizing echo chambers and became an abuser because of it without knowing it ( and without considering themselves an abuser. ) This guide reveals that abusers are " h urt people hurting other people (and hurting themselves.) " This ongoing conversation regards a brilliantly dynamic spectrum of topics . More spe cific parts of that include oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins relating in independent or reciprocating ways as part of a spectrum of aphrodisiacs as well as adrenaline and cortisol relating in independent or reciprocating ways as part of a spectrum that ma y include suggestions of thrill and fear as non - aphrodisiac topics . This also includes how in different ways d ifferent physiologies may pr oduce and process all of these internal "chemicals" at different levels at different times in individual or reciprocat ing ways and how that may play a role in contributing to those depersonalizing echo chambers and maladaptive false comforters as a result of the invisib le, reverberating strings of abuse. T his ongoing conversation also include s the processes spawned from the previously invisible 55 abuses being the cause of other "diagnoses" often including shortsighted, oversimplifying words and phrases like hyper - activity , distraction , confusion , depression , anxiety , bi - polar , borderline , anorexia, bulimia, self - destruc tive and compulsive as well as even abuses towards others as real , invisible but now diminishable , internal, maladaptive chemical addictions Rather than being des cribed as a path or a line, the depersonalizing reverberating strings that make up this s pectrum of abuses seem to be better visualized as a vi olently spinning spindle in the shape of a funnel or a cone. This peculiar Spindle also helps visualize a more challenging part of the spectrum that without awareness and intervention abusers become ove rwhelmed and entangled in as they begin combining abuses and targeting and abusing victims i n worse ways. This includes the abuser becoming derangedly addicted to self - destructive, maladaptive, physiological reactions with in (a type of a false comforter ), addiction to SECRET NOT SECRET 3.16.23 20 outside chemical substances (drugs, alcohol, etc...), end ing up in prison or ending up dead For now, I call these depths of the spinning cone shaped Spindle The - Funnel - Of - No - Return . If abusers don't come out new with awareness and intervention, they will either continue as an "addict," be imprisoned or worse. To overcome this " Death Spiral " and vaporize the Spindle and let wonders take it's place, abusers just need to pursue awareness and int ervention and there's that powerful reason for this : t hat reason that they started as victims too. Depending on how the abuses are projected towards others, sometimes it's like this peculiar funnel - shaped - spindle - of - strings is us ed to imitate a megaphone too. It also should be no surprise if other "spiral " type patterns by the abuser present themselves in more peculiar or even very literal ways in regards to others. To attempt to lessen the burd en of referencing this criminally cone - with - a - funnel - that is the spectrum of abuses with it's 55 reverberating strings of abuse and worse combined abuses I am referring to it as the " Spindling Cone of I nvisible Strings, Addictions, Abuses and Horrors " ( aka " SCISAAHS " ). Yes, this guide really is like a pair of "scissors," cutting those reverberating strings of abu se and allowing victims and abusers to enjoy the wonders of being powerful survivors and then get ting to enjoy the rew ards of being powerful rescuers too (when the time is right .) Abusers are referred to as Spindlers and the words "abusers" and "Spindlers " are used inter changeably as well as the phrases victim - turned - abuser or victim - turned - S pindler as each seems to have relevance depending on how they are interpreted or reciprocated. With this guide, i nstead of "hurt people hurting other people (and hurt ing themselves) " there will be more "people who feel special treating other people special." (Sometimes it seems that just about anything outside of learning and growing is a False Comforter and because of that " False Comforters " seems to be a cone - with - a - funnel - that - sometimes - might - imitate - a - megaphone as a spectrum itself. This also seems to especially be the case with just about anything associated with the reference word of being "a grown up" because what it is referencing also seems to be a cone - with - a - funnel - that -