Congruence Project Blueprint_02.01.2021.pdf -

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The Congruence Project Creating a new model of the modern man: a trustable man who is The Congruence Project | 1 congruent within himself and who leads powerfully with heart and emotional intelligence to create more united and expansive relationships, businesses, www.karllashkari.com and societies WELCOME TO THE CONGRUENCE PROJECT In the divided state humanity is in today, plagued by disempowerment, inequality, and unnatural amounts of stress, men who identify themselves as leaders must own their power and open their hearts to create a better way of living for themselves, and for those who follow their leadership. As the decades pass by, more and more relationships are losing intimacy and trust, more and more corporate organizations are building cultures that promote imbalanced compensation and power structures that favor a few at the top and disempower the collective, and our society is increasingly divided by race, gender, and socioeconomic status. And we “powerful” men just sit and watch as these disempowering and disheartening circumstances continue to show up in our lives. Now is the time that changes, now is the time we change. This is a call to all the men who consider themselves “leaders” to step into their power, open their hearts, tap into their emotional intelligence, and take part in building a new paradigm in leadership. This new paradigm will directly result in the materialization of unbreakable trust and passion in relationships; healthy, empowered, and high-performing work cultures; and unified social change to elevate the quality of all people’s lives. IT STARTS WITH YOU! You have the power to take responsibility for your environment and your relationships, and it starts with taking responsibility for yourself. The Congruence Project has been designed to help you, as a man, transform your life by: Boosting health and vitality Developing a powerful and inspiring presence Enhancing emotional intelligence and felt intuition Guiding relationships and mastering sexuality The Congruence Project | 1 1 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. By transforming these four essential aspects of yourself, you will cultivate a greater ability to bring purpose, passion, fulfillment, and enjoyment into your intimate relationships and business endeavors. At first glance, you may think these four aspects of yourself are completely unrelated, that transforming your romantic, business, and social life requires separate efforts. That is not the case – they are all related. By developing inner congruence, which is a greater awareness and alignment within yourself, you will open the door to a new sense of freedom and fulfillment in all of these areas. Inner congruence is attained by developing: • The Inner Practice: Psychophysiological (mind–body) wellness Congruence of the analytical mind, the emotional center of the brain, the nervous system, and the physical body to create robust health and vitality and increase mental and physical performance. • The Self-Expression: Authentic expression & empowered action Congruence of physiologically establishing a connection with one’s inner- self; clearing conditioned beliefs and emotional blockages; revealing one’s true nature and core beliefs; integrating all parts of oneself that have been suppressed or hidden; developing thoughts, feelings, and actions that represent one’s ideal version of themselves; and the authentic embodiment and expression of this unified self. • The Embodied Philosophy: Integration of masculine and feminine traits Congruence of healthy masculine traits of purpose, logic, and structure with feminine traits of compassion, intuition, and flow to cultivate deep, authentic connections and create cultures of purposeful impact. The Congruence Project has been developed both to help you thrive in all areas of your life and to give you the tools to create a band of powerful and heartful leaders who want to raise the overall state of mankind and create limitless wealth and impact in the world. In the following pages, this blueprint will walk you through • My high-level framework for inner congruence • Three problem areas in our world that are in dire need of change • The call to action to initiate change in each of these three problem areas • The transformational tools that will help develop inner congruence in order to thrive in relationships, business, and social endeavors Note: In this document, the words “masculine” and “feminine” are referring to traits held within both men and women. We assume men and women each have both masculine and feminine traits, and each unique individual is in a different place on the masculine-feminine spectrum, irrespective of gender. Additionally, to make the content digestible, I reference “man” and “woman” as well as male-female intimate relationships; however these concepts apply to all genders and relationship types. The Congruence Project | 2 2 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. ACCESSING 18 STATES TO BECOME A CONGRUENT MAN Creating transformation in one’s health, relationships, career, or relationship to sexuality comes from the same place, that is, by creating inner congruence within one’s self. By developing deep awareness and alignment within one’s self, a congruent man will gain clarity around his deepest intrinsic beliefs and desires, optimize his mental and physical wellness, develop the authority to lead and create impact based on his unique beliefs and innate skill, and cultivate the ability to show up intentionally and grounded in all situations – with a broader field of awareness, heightened intuition, and a greater ability to communicate truthfully and create deeper connections. The 18 Mind–Body States for the Congruent Man is the primary framework used by the Congruence Project. By practicing applicable mental, emotional, and physical exercises, along with integrating healthy masculine and feminine traits, anyone with the deep desire for transformation will be able to create a stronger, more intentional, and more magnetic version of themselves. I classify inner congruence as the ability to access the following 18 Mind–Body States on-demand, as necessary: The Congruence Project | 3 3 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. How I Help You Transform In the Leadership Brotherhood program, the above framework will be primarily used to assist each participant in their transformation. As part of a container with other top business leaders, you will be taken through a training and coaching process, based on your current situation entering the program, and your transformation goals. The training includes the following three tracks, and the coaching will be fully customized to your individual needs. The three training tracks are: Mind–Body Masculine Body Intelligence Stress Release Presence & & Emotional & Restoration Power Freedom Note that though this framework is intended to support the overall transformation of each participant, I will provide additional education and practices to aid with each participant’s personal transformation and growth as a leader. In each of the three training tracks, the above mind–body states (as listed in the diagram above) will be utilized to help each participant create inner congruence by developing: 1. Psychophysiological (mind–body) wellness 2. Authentic expression and empowered action 3. Integrated masculine and feminine traits Details regarding what tools will be used to develop each of these areas are outlined in the subsequent sections. To learn more about the Leadership Brotherhood, reference page 29. The Congruence Project | 4 4 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. THE FIRST MOVEMENT We Must STOP FALLING VICTIM TO HIGH PRESSURE, HIGH-STRESS LIFESTYLES THAT ADVERSELY IMPACT our HEALTH AND WELL-BEING The Problem In today’s society, moving through life with high levels of stress is common, and for a ludicrous reason I can’t explain, expected. It is absolutely unacceptable that to survive and to reach our desired lifestyle goals, driven and successful men are expected to give in to a high-stress and high- production lifestyle that de-prioritizes mental and physical health, inner peace, high energy, happiness, and intimacy. The expectation placed on us is to continuously grind, persevere, accomplish, and competitively elevate our lifestyles higher and higher – come hell or high water. This outcome-driven mindset frequently exacerbates existing mental struggles, which then manifests into physical disease. This happens due to emotional suppression, tension in the body, an imbalanced nervous system, and toxic habits such as eating unhealthy food, drinking alcohol, watching violent or dramatic television, listening to angry/rebellious music, smoking, and doing drugs as an escape. So many people are dealing with depression from financial, career, relationship, and sexual hardships, and are working with anxiety from constantly worrying about losing financial, career, relationship, or sexual security. Now with the introduction of the coronavirus pandemic, there is an added level of fear and stress and lack of control over our lives … which can also adversely affect our health. I played the game society gave me, I succeeded in the game society gave me, and I fell badly ill because of it. Is that the life we want to live? Is that the American dream? Nice houses, cars, and vacations, which automatically come with us agreeing to deal with long work hours, high amounts of stress, burnout, withering health, dying intimacy, and sacrificing satisfaction in the moment for unknown future gain? The Congruence Project | 5 5 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. On your body Headache Muscle tension or pain On your mood Chest pain Anxiety Fatigue Restlessness Change in sex drive Lack of motivation or focus Stomach upset Feeling overwhelmed Sleep problems Irritability or anger Sadness or depression Common Effects of On your behavior Stress Overeating or undereating Angry outbursts Drug or alcohol misuse Tobacco use Social withdrawal Source https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-manage- Exercising less often ment/in-depth/stress-symptoms/art-20050987 The Congruence Project | 6 6 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. How This Problem Shows Up in Key Areas of Life Relationships & sexuality – As men, we are expected to show up, stay strong, and be attentive in any and all situations … all the time. In order to show up for our women in our role as a “real man” as defined by modern society, we are expected to unshakably succeed, create a wealth of life experiences, solve all problems and challenges, make important decisions, and always protect: ourselves, our partners, and our children. As a result, as a real man, there is little space for emotions, vulnerability, broken hearts, deep desires, or peace of mind. We have been told to show up and deliver for our women, and to suppress any parts of our humanity that may get in the way of getting those results. Oh, and we have also been conditioned to believe that we must exhibit physical and sexual prowess to attract and keep the right woman. That said … no pressure man! Career – We live in a time in which there are a number of avenues organizations can pursue to get their productivity needs met, picking from an ever-increasing pool of wide-eyed “yes, can-do” college graduates, outsourcing to low-price offshore labor, or investing in bot automation technology. Due to the number of cost-cutting options available to businesses, the stakes are higher for executives and entry-level workers alike. Employees are expected to work long hours, rush through never-ending to- do lists, meet unreasonable milestones, and competitively outwork or out strategize anyone who may pose a threat, which most of the time happens to be someone who is fighting for the same things as you: praise, promotions, financial security, and status. For that, we are expected to allow anxiety, push through stress, power through discomfort, use criticism as motivation, and ignore any basic human needs by taking the much celebrated “mind over matter” approach. We have been conditioned to believe that this approach will lead to a happy, successful, ideal life. Successful – yes, happy – sometimes, ideal – not even close! Social – Socializing is meant to be fun – it should be easy, and be completely on our terms, right? That is not always the case. Because so much of what is expected of us is based on external motivations, it has become common to push away our body’s needs and our heart’s desires to meet societal expectations. This shows up in how men push themselves to exhaustion in the gym to look good, get hammered with co-workers, bosses, and networking acquaintances to prove status, and drink endless amounts of caffeine to create energy, which is then offset with marijuana or cigarettes to calm down. Through all this, in order to have a social life, one that by nature should be fulfilling, easy, and fun, we still find a way to sacrifice our health and inner satisfaction. The Congruence Project | 7 7 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Call to Action Mind & Body Stress Release & Restoration The modern man, the evolved leader, will need to take on this stress-driven culture by digging his feet into the ground and standing for his own health, vitality, and happiness, and for those who follow his lead. He will take back his power by saying “no” to burnout and acquiescing to someone else’s expectations, by mastering his mind, his emotions, and his body to create robust health and a more aligned way of being. By taking action to change cultural expectations as we know them, he can elevate the quality of his life by strengthening his mental and physical health, which will subsequently elevate levels of ease, happiness, creativity, impact, and performance. The call to action is to: Restore health and vitality We can restore healthy and vitality by developing relaxed focus, open awareness & nervous system regulation. Now is the time to prioritize our health, our well-being, and the quality of our energy before meeting deadlines or pleasing others. We no longer sacrifice health for paychecks, job status, or a romantic partner’s demands. As men, we must collectively stand for putting our health and the health of those who follow us first, and then from a place of greater ease, focus, and strength, we will be more equipped to boost performance and reach our goals. This can be achieved by prioritizing self-care practices such as meditation, breathwork, yoga, therapeutic exercises, fitness, and nutrition. Making inner peace, joy, compassion, and excitement mandatory We can develop inner peace, joy, compassion, and excitement by calming the nervous system, elevating emotions, & opening the heart. Believe it or not, we have the choice to not engage in mundane, strenuous activities that take us further away from inner peace, happiness, and fulfillment. Impact and all forms of wealth can be created from a state of calm and inspiration. And when we do achieve our goals, big or small, it is important to make space for gratitude, joy, and celebration of the accomplishment. The quality of our personal and work lives will be significantly boosted when we operate inside-out; it just takes a little intention and setting some boundaries with others to maintain our own happiness to get there. How Can This Be Achieved? The rise in mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and physical illness due to undue stress, is not acceptable. If our environment won’t change, then we need to make the change within ourselves and then as leaders, take a stand for changing our environment. By mastering our psychophysiological (mental, emotional, and physical body) processes and empowering ourselves to sever our reliance on technology and people of higher authority, we will begin to reveal our deepest levels of purpose, passion, creativity, and talent in our personal and professional lives. The intention is to create mental–emotional–physical congruence to develop awareness and control of our inner world, so we can use our superpowers to impact the outer world, not the other way around. By owning the fact that we are the cause of our own stress, lifestyle illnesses, and lack of empowerment, we can begin to connect with our true selves and take back our power. We allowed external circumstances to abandon ourselves … and now we are here to reclaim ourselves. This will be accomplished through deep inner practice (process laid out on page 9). The Congruence Project | 8 8 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. THE INNER PRACTICE – PSYCHOPHYSIOLOGICAL (MIND–BODY) WELLNESS Drawing on my experiences in endlessly experimenting with my mind and body while recovering from a chronic illness, I came across many practices that brought alignment within myself in order to heal. I have done significant research and self- experimentation to identify the scientifically proven elements of many ageless and modern wellness practices and therapies that alter human biology to improve mental, emotional, and physical well-being. The core purpose of the inner practice is to create psychophysiological coherence. “ According to the HeartMath Institute: Psychophysiological coherence is characterized by increased order and harmony in both our psychological (mental and emotional) and physiological (bodily) processes. Psychophysiological coherence is a state of optimal function. Research shows that when we activate this state, our physiological systems function more efficiently, we experience greater emotional stability, and we also have increased mental clarity and improved cognitive function. Simply stated, our body and brain work better, we feel better, and we perform better. As part of my multi-year long journey biohacking and experimenting with my body to heal, I utilized specific training techniques to strengthen my mind and body systems, and then bring alignment of the brain, the heart, and the body. These techniques were not only effective in my healing process, but as an unintended consequence, resulted in significant benefits in carrying out my life’s mission and in effortlessly creating deep romantic relationships. As a result of this training – my presence, my emotions, and my energy began to work for me in delivering presentations, networking, having clarity and impact with clients, connecting with clarity and depth with romantic partners, and creating ecstatic sexual intimacy. I use these scientifically proven techniques to train my bodily systems, and associated metrics to track progress. Below are states that can be activated through mind-body training, the benefits of doing so, the impacted physiological systems, and metrics to track success. The Congruence Project | 9 9 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. Presence – Concentrated Focus & Open Awareness Body Awareness The training: Meditation The training: Yoga, visualization, EQ training, & Benefits: Putting the mind in the best position to optimize energy work its cognition by concentrating focus and expanding Benefits: Developing awareness of the feeling of awareness. Reduce activity in the analytical mind and shift one’s physical body, internal organs, emotions, focus from the outside world to the inside world, creating intuition, and the energetic awareness of one’s more spaciousness for the discovery of true self, emotional environment and in interpersonal interactions. intelligence, and creativity. Physiological systems trained: Interoception & Physiological systems trained: Frontal lobe, limbic system proprioception Metrics: EEG absolute brainwave values Metrics: Heartbeat counting Elevated Thinking & Emotions Emotional Embodiment & Expression The training: Neural reprogramming: visualization & The training: Embodied expression & dance emotional embodiment Benefits: Release suppressed emotions and stuck Benefits: Replacing outdated thinking patterns and energy in the body. This allows you to process and stuck emotions with intentional thinking patterns and move past traumas and limiting beliefs, so you can elevated emotions to create an energy that matches embody emotional states that better serve you. the ideal self. Feeling and believing your ideal reality Physiological systems trained: Limbic system, will create that reality. endocrine system Physiological systems trained: Brain neural Metrics: N/A networks, limbic system, autonomic nervous system, endocrine system Metrics: Heart rate variability The Inner Practice: Psychophysiological Wellness Breath Blood Oxygenation & Detoxification The training: Breathwork The training: Sauna, salt therapy, Benefits: Altering the way an individual breathes will acupuncture, & massage give them balance and control of their nervous Benefits: Enhance blood flow to organs and system by intentionally activating the sympathetic muscles to optimize energy and body nervous system fight or flight response, or the function. Stimulate the liver to detoxify parasympathetic nervous system relax and restore bloodstream and eliminate toxins through the response, based on what the circumstance requires. kidney, intestines, and skin. Physiological systems trained: Pulmonary system, Physiological systems trained: Circulatory autonomic nervous system, endocrine system system Metrics: CO2 tolerance Metrics: Epidermal electronic sensor Nutrition Sleep The training: Diet and supplementation The training: Theta state sleep Benefits: Nourishing one’s physical body Benefits: The only time the body actually repairs helps increase energy and strength, reduce neurons and nerve cells are when sleeping – inflammation, and bring clarity in the brain. specifically during the deep sleep stages that occur Physiological systems trained: Intestines, as body temperature decreases, which happens organs, muscles, joints roughly between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. Physiological systems trained: HPA-axis Metrics: Deep & REM sleep time The Congruence Project | 10 10 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. THE SECOND MOVEMENT We Must BRING EMPOWERMENT TO A CULTURE THAT PROMOTES BLIND COMPLIANCE AND APPROVAL-SEEKING The Problem One of the most widespread problems in Our current societies and organizations have modern-day society is that most people been designed for the majority of people to are motivated by external goals that others give up their power, and for the few pulling have told them will make them happy, the strings to hold all the power and decision- and seek validation from people outside making. Saying “NO” to someone who has of themselves. Most men don’t have the authority may have consequences, so we choose awareness to hit the brakes on the daily to comply instead – we do this frequently and grind and feel deeply into whether their we do this in masses. Many men are raised to actions or way of life truly fulfills them, seek approval from their parents. Our dads instead, aimlessly trudging down the path teach us to not question their authority. Our they are “supposed” to be on. That is why moms teach us to “go with the flow” and to be you see so many men grinding to obtain whoever we need to be in order to be liked. goals that mean nothing to them, ones Operating this way as children makes sense, that were laid out by someone they aim to but these traits become wired into our brain, please such as their parents, a boss, a wife, showing up in our adult lives, and they or a girlfriend. So many of us are aiming permeate into relationships, work lives, and for the high-status job, the fancy car, or the social lives. The current generation of men fleeting pleasure of an expensive dinner or has been trained to be neutral – chameleons bottle service at the club. If a man enjoys who can adapt and thrive in many situations, the finer pleasures in life and it comes fairly ready to act on the whims of someone else’s effortlessly, then perfect … keep at it! But if demand. Many “powerful” corporate leaders or a man is sacrificing himself – his peace of men with beautiful partners are nothing more mind, his energy, his time, his happiness, than puppets who are good at conforming to or his desire for authentic connection and others’ opinions, carrying out others’ messages, deep intimacy in order to show his might and achieving others’ goals, all for the need for and impress others so they want to be approval and acceptance. With the rise of the around him, then he is actually not that feminized man, or the “nice guy,” the world mighty. He is actually what is called a “nice is lacking men who are purposeful leaders – guy” – a people pleaser and validation strong enough to act on what they believe is seeker, a man who lacks purpose, cannot right, bold enough reveal their unique truth stand for what he believes is right, and and not conform, powerful enough to move pushes away his deep desires, and as a mountains to make it happen, and charismatic result, pushes away love for himself. The enough to inspire others to follow their lead. We nice guy bases every action on seeking will talk about the importance of integrating approval from others, whether that is a our feminine traits as modern men, but we as parent, a boss, a prospective business men must make sure that it does not come at partner, a friend, or a romantic partner. the expense of a strong relationship with our A man who sacrifices himself to seek healthy masculinity. Your work subordinates, validation from another, regardless of your mother, or your partner may reject your his wealth or status, is an insecure man, masculine leadership based on society’s current disconnected from his innate masculinity. perspective on masculinity, but deep down, they If you fit into this category, there is no desire that you step into your power so they can reason to feel any shame about yourself. trust and relax into your leadership. The Congruence Project | 11 11 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. How the Problem Shows Up in Key Areas of Life Relationships & sexuality – With many of this generation’s men having been primarily raised by their mothers, most men have been taught how to be men … by women. We have been taught that to keep a woman’s love and trust that we must seek her approval, constantly aim to please, and put a woman’s spoken needs first. This is exactly why relationships are suffering and many are lacking true sexual polarity. Because deep down a woman wants a man to exude his masculinity with her, his awareness, his power, his desires, and his leadership. The de-masculinization of men over the past few decades has been a true lose–lose situation – men are feeling confused, powerless, and sexually unsatisfied, while their women are losing trust in masculinity, holding back their hearts, and are also sexually unsatisfied. What a shame. Career – Think about this for a second. How many times have you approached your boss for a raise, or some accommodation, and they have told you that there is nothing they can do about it, that the request or decision is out of their control? And how many times has this same boss unexpectedly assigned you an overwhelming workload, asked you to work extra hours and sacrifice your personal life to complete a project, or communicated his lofty expectations of you? Isn’t it ironic that so many corporate “leaders” – managers and executives alike, have so much power when it comes to squeezing the most out of you, yet so little power when it comes to listening to your unique ideas or rewarding you appropriately? We have an extremely unbalanced hierarchical structure in most organizations today, where only a handful of people hold the true power, and the rest are sacrificing, accommodating, pleasing, and complying to meet the needs of these few people. A powerless leader, one who does not have the ability to make decisions from his gut or from his heart, is not a leader at all … and our organizations are filled with men and women who fit this description. Social – So many men today are more likely to follow someone else’s belief system or guidance than speak their truth and act boldly based on their own wisdom. There are only a small number of men who are connected with their purpose, their core beliefs, and their hearts. This world needs more powerful men who are connected with their hearts, and who can think for themselves to step up and lead social initiatives that protect the masses, fun activities that raise the vibration of the masses, and forward- thinking innovation to inspire the masses. You look at the rampant division and victimization of so many people in society today – it is because we do not have enough bold, purpose-driven leaders who are willing to understand their core beliefs and what makes their heart move, then show up powerfully in the world to bring more equality, unity, joy, and inspiration to those who follow their lead. Instead, you see so many men “leading” initiatives and using their masculine voice and power to do nothing more than “go with the flow” and conform to a popular but ineffective way of thinking and behaving. The Congruence Project | 12 12 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Call to Action Masculine Presence & Power It is time that we as men shift our mindsets away from allowing our personal reality to be at the whim of someone else’s beliefs, direction, and leadership. No healthy person should be a victim of circumstance due to an imbalanced power structure. All people must be empowered to be with who they choose, work on what fulfills them, and make the decisions based on their UNIQUE beliefs. Everyone deserves peace, personal power, impact, possibility, and pleasure – on their own terms. Cultivating personal power will provide men with the courage and inspiration to make a heart-driven impact and meaningful connections, experience a drastic increase in work fulfillment and performance, and gain the confidence and embodied presence to experience pleasure in romantic relationships and in sexual interactions. The call to action is to develop: Intrinsic motivation Doing away with the performance review mentality – externally induced pressure, self-criticism, and approval-seeking as the motivator for a “job well done.” Through meditation and other means of inner practice, we must create space for a deep discovery of ourselves, our beliefs and values, our passions, our pleasures, what fulfills us, and the depth of intimate connection we desire. With this understanding, we can develop the self-awareness to intentionally give our energy only to initiatives that feel exciting, rewarding, nourishing, and intrinsically motivating. Developing a heart- mind coherence will drastically improve one’s satisfaction and performance. Never again will we allow external motivators, like someone else’s demands or unforeseen circumstances, dictate what we give our time, energy, and heart to. Personal power Once we understand what motivates us intrinsically, we have a choice to act based on our purpose, show up intentionally, express how we feel, stand for what we believe in, and set boundaries when something doesn’t serve us. Once we create alignment within ourselves, we have the tools to speak our truth and take action with conviction. This requires us to deepen our awareness of ourselves and our environment, and to ground into our most centered physical and energetic presence. Doing so will allow us to unleash our true selves into the world in a way that is powerful, unshakeable, authentic, vulnerable, passionate, inspiring, and impactful. Our women, our work staff, and our society are craving this powerful and loving style of leadership. Inspired possibilities This call to action is the most advanced, and will bring the best outcomes for you and those around you. By developing full awareness and mastery of our minds and emotions, we can witness and replace scattered, scarce, and fear-based thinking patterns with intentional thoughts of limitless possibility, excitement, joy, and compassion. Rewiring one’s mind to raise baseline emotions to an elevated state that represents the new, ideal version of oneself will open up new possibilities of creativity, innovation, impact, connection, and pleasure. The Congruence Project | 13 13 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. How Can This Be Achieved? In order to be empowered and inspired to live our deep truth and follow our hearts, we must ignore what is going on in our environments, and work on empowering and inspiring ourselves from within. This is done by becoming comfortable in our own skin, confident and who we are, and clear about what we stand for. This can be done by: 1. Unifying our inner world with our outer expression by expressing ourselves authentically and empowering our actions (process laid out on the page 15) 2. Owning our healthy masculine traits that will support us in unapologetically living out our purpose and demanding our deepest desires be met (process laid out on page 21) See the referenced pages for more information as to how you can begin to take a stand to live a life on your own terms based on your beliefs, by following your heart, and by turning your creative imagination into reality. The Congruence Project | 14 14 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. THE SELF EXPRESSION – EMPOWERED ACTION & AUTHENTIC EXPRESSION So far we have discussed the importance of self-discovery by creating a deep inner practice. In order to apply these practices to your daily life, a man must integrate his whole self into one singular way of thinking, feeling, and consciously and subconsciously being. The path to personal transformation begins with physiologically establishing the connection with one’s inner- self, clearing conditioned beliefs and emotional blockages, revealing one’s true nature and core beliefs, integrating all parts of oneself that have been suppressed or hidden, developing thoughts, feelings, and habits that represent one’s ideal version of themself, and the authentic embodiment and expression of this unified self. Once a man unifies himself internally, embodies this unified self, and expresses his unified, authentic-self to others; resisting any mental strategies or internal shifts based on what negative outcomes or perceptions may arise from his authentic way for being - he is ready to lead in his life and the world with authenticity, power, and congruence. See the below model for unifying oneself - the inner belief system with the outer expression: 1. Developing connection with 6. Embodiment & expression of inner-self unified self Creating a physiological Integrating a clear and unified belief connection and alignment with system, then powerfully and your brain, heart, nervous 1 6 authentically expressing your spoken system, and physical body truth and embodied emotions without fear of consequence 2. Clearing conditioned beliefs and emotional blockages Deconditioning a lifetime worth of beliefs 5. Programming ideal self instilled in you by parents, teachers, bosses, Creating the ideal version of yourself as 2 and friends, and clearing self-imposed 5 the person you choose to be in the world emotional blocks created by past traumatic experiences or stories created by your mind 4. Integrating shadows 3. Revealing true self & core beliefs 3 4 Bringing awareness and ownership of the Discovering and revealing your natural parts of yourself that have been qualities, core beliefs, deep desires, and suppressed or hidden, the parts you have heart-driven purpose been unwilling to acknowledge or own The Congruence Project | 15 15 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. THE THIRD MOVEMENT We Must evolve our leadership styles TO ACCEPT FEMININE QUALITIES OF INTUITION, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, CREATIVITY, COMPASSION, AND FULFILLMENT The Problem Relationships, organizations, and societies have historically been led by men who proudly flaunt their masculine power and competitive nature at every opportunity. In a dog-eat-dog world, this has led to an imbalanced masculinization of traditional leadership styles. Today, the men and women who lead relationships, organizations, and societies are forced to constantly be in their analytical minds to a point where they completely ignore what is present in the body. The encouragement of men to always use logic, constantly produce results, and control outcomes so they unfold according to plan frequently results in the suppression of the felt sense of momentary emotions and intuition, superficial motivations and relationships, and stunted creativity. Finding a leader who possesses emotional intelligence, deep intuition, an open- heart, and innate creativity is extremely rare. That is why we live in a divided society, work for rigid and monotonous organizational cultures, and so easily lose passion for our work and lose intimacy in our romantic relationships. The traditional standard of leadership has been so over-masculinized, we value traits of intelligence, problem- solving, competitiveness, and drive above all else, and within certain sections of the feminist movement, society is demanding these masculine traits now show up in both men and women. Essential feminine gifts such as feeling the moment, intuition, creativity, and compassion have been largely disregarded and discouraged – viewed as a hindrance to progress, success, and power. But in reality, when these feminine traits are intentionally integrated within a man – along with his masculine traits of intelligence, purpose, and courage – we now have the ability to create a leader who embodies all the gifts given to humanity who can then create more meaningful forms of progress, success, and power; directly resulting in the growth and betterment of everyone involved. The Congruence Project | 16 16 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. How the Problem Shows Up in Key Areas of Life Relationship & sexuality – How many times have you been frustrated with your partner, trying so hard to understand her logic … and the more logic you bring, the more confused and frustrated both of you get? Society has pushed men and women in a masculine direction, leading us to believe all situations should be handled analytically and all problems should be solved with logic. The problem is – if your woman has a feminine essence, she will have difficulty connecting with you because she is simply not capable of matching your logic and reasoning. This leads to frequent misunderstandings and failing relationships. When you build a capability to understand, allow, and guide her femininity in your relationship – by utilizing emotional intelligence, depth of connection, and space holding for her feelings, and by leading her deeper into her feminine desire for trust, safety, and unconditional love – new doors will open for better communication, deeper connection, increased passion, and more ecstatic and pleasureful sex. Career – Most mid-level managers to C-suite executives experience a lack of personal autonomy and mental spaciousness. They are trapped in a habitual pattern of constantly being rewarded to fall in line with the company direction and utilize any available time and energy to problem solve how to deliver someone else’s message and meet someone else’s goals. This takes away from the time and energy required to create something inspired by your own brilliance, and as a result, creativity is stunted and innovation cannot reach its potential. When you add to that perpetual high work outputs and never-ending to-do lists that drain a large capacity of mental energy, it becomes very difficult, if not impossible, to maximize your unique intelligence and creativity. Social – So many “successful” people are solely focused on their external image, and the idea of what achievement looks like rather than what it feels like. This is why so many people spend countless hours lifting weights and exhausting themselves in the gym, partying like crazy, while thinking they are getting the social connection they deeply desire, and spending all their time, energy, and passion grinding to get promotions and elevate status. They work through fatigue, suppress true feelings, desires, needs, and emotions, and numb themselves to make sure this intellectually created vision of “fulfillment” is met. This mentality frequently leads to 1) being overly analytical, ignoring gut feeling or intuition, 2) outcome-attainment focus, ignoring the unique feeling of true fulfillment and intrinsic beliefs, 3) forming opinions based on group-think, ignoring any unique opinions and personal beliefs. The Congruence Project | 17 17 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. The Call to Action Body Intelligence & Emotional Freedom Now is the time we break free from the self-sabotaging limits placed on us by our minds, and create space for a deeper awareness, emotional intelligence, felt intuition, limitless creativity, and an embodied, heartful, and charismatic way of being. It is time to accept and celebrate the feminine traits within ourselves, our lovers, our friends, and our colleagues, so we can demand personal fulfillment and meaningful, heartful impact. Men – developing this level of awareness is not easy and does not come to most men naturally … but as someone who has seen the other side … I can tell you that the tools are available, and the reward is more than worth the effort. This call to action is to develop: Intuitive awareness & emotional intelligence Ever-present awareness can be developed by reducing the chatter in our minds, connecting with the intelligence in our body, and developing complete presence in a given moment. This can be achieved by calming down the analytical mind, clearing psychosomatic emotional blockages, and coming to terms with one’s shadows. A meditation practice will help slow down brain waves, opening up channels for awareness of the physical body, present emotions, and the subtle energetic body. There is so much power that lives in our bodies, it is time we surrender the thinking mind and give our bodies the attention it deserves so it can work its magic. Boundless creativity By slowing down our minds, elevating our emotions, balancing our nervous systems, and inhabiting our bodies, we can open up previously suppressed channels to creative thinking and wisdom beyond what we thought to be capable. With a more grounded, spacious way of being, and a flow of elevated emotions, we have the tools to break through the limitations of what we thought is possible and instill a new capability of open curiosity and boundless creativity. Charismatic & heart-inspired energy This is a call to elevate our emotional states to a baseline of playfulness, empowerment, and open-heartedness. By dropping into our bodies, clearing stuck emotions, and breaking out of persistent mental loops, we can use our bodies as a canvas to intentionally create and express emotional states that resonate with the current circumstance. Doing so will enable us to charismatically inspire our colleagues, clients, and prospects in business, create more meaningful connections with friends and partners, and tap into tantric elements of embodiment to create ecstatic sexual experiences. It will take significant intention and effort, but once you experience a life of inspiration, depth, and play – from waking up in the morning to carrying out daily tasks to social and intimate connections – I guarantee you there will be no going back to old routines filled with dullness and monotony. By creating a new form of embodied presence that is focused on elevating one’s sense of felt being rather than focusing on the tasks he is doing, you will start to see life with a new lens of richness, depth, fulfillment, and pleasure. The Congruence Project | 18 18 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. Emotional intelligence is typically broken down into four core competencies: Self-Awareness Self-Management Social Awareness Relationship Management Self-awareness is at the core of Self-management refers to While it’s important to While it’s important to everything. It describes your the ability to manage your understand and manage understand and manage your ability to not only understand emotions, particularly in your own emotions, you also own emotions, you also need your strengths and stressful situations, and need to know how to read a to know how to read a room. weaknesses, but to recognize maintain a positive outlook room. Social awareness Social awareness describes your emotions and the effect despite setbacks. Leaders describes your ability to your ability to recognize they have on you and your who lack self-management recognize others’ emotions others’ emotions and the team’s performance. tend to react and have a and the dynamics in play dynamics in play within your harder time keeping their within your organization. organization. According to research by impulses in check. organizational psychologist Leaders who excel in social Leaders who excel in social Tasha Eurich, 95 percent of A reaction tends to be awareness practice empathy. awareness practice empathy. people think they’re automatic. The more in tune They strive to understand They strive to understand their self-aware, but only 10 to 15 you are with your emotional their colleagues’ feelings and colleagues’ feelings and percent actually are, and that intelligence, however, the perspectives, which enables perspectives, which enables can pose problems for your easier you can make the them to communicate and them to communicate and employees. Working with transition from reaction to collaborate more effectively collaborate more effectively colleagues who aren’t response. It's important to with their peers. with their peers. self-aware can cut a team’s remember to pause, breathe, success in half and, according collect yourself, and do Global leadership Global leadership to Eurich’s research, lead to whatever it takes to manage development firm DDI ranks development firm DDI ranks increased stress and your emotions—whether that empathy as the number one empathy as the number one decreased motivation. means taking a walk or leadership skill, reporting that leadership skill, reporting that calling a friend—so that you leaders who master empathy leaders who master empathy In order to bring out the best can more appropriately and perform more than 40 perform more than 40 percent in others, you first need to intentionally respond to percent higher in coaching, higher in coaching, engaging bring out the best in yourself, stress and adversity. engaging others, and others, and decision-making. which is where self-awareness decision-making. In a In a separate study by the comes into play. One easy way separate study by the Center Center for Creative Leadership to assess your self-awareness for Creative Leadership (pdf), (pdf), researchers found that is by completing 360-degree researchers found that managers who show more feedback, in which you managers who show more empathy toward their direct evaluate your performance empathy toward their direct reports are viewed as better and then match it up against reports are viewed as better performers by their boss. the opinions of your boss, performers by their boss. peers, and direct reports. By communicating with Through this process, you’ll By communicating with empathy, you can better gain insights into your own empathy, you can better support your team, all while behavior and discover how support your team, all while improving your individual you’re perceived in the improving your individual performance. organization. performance. Source https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/emotional-intelligence-in-leadership The Congruence Project | 19 19 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. How Can This Be Achieved? We as men can intentionally elevate our intuition, emotional intelligence, creativity, and charisma by connecting with our bodies and integrating some of our feminine traits into our way of being. As men, we carry both masculine and feminine traits. We must first solidify and deepen our relationship with our masculinity, traits that live inside of us such as our power, our purpose, our wisdom, and our courage. Once we own our healthy masculine traits, we must learn to surrender to and integrate healthy feminine traits of surrender, fulfillment, emotional attunement, pleasure, flow, compassion, and love. Once we integrate our masculine and feminine traits, we will be equipped to tap into the potential of our emotions and hearts to guide us into powerfully leading organizations, societies, and relationships that inspire and empower everyone involved (process laid out on the page 21). The Congruence Project | 20 20 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. THE EMBODIED PHILOSOPHY – INTEGRATED MASCULINE & FEMININE TRAITS The state of masculinity in men has always driven the quality and effectiveness of each generation’s leadership styles. In the mid-1900s, men were very masculine: they forcefully led, imposed their will, and engaged in competition or warfare to achieve, survive, or overcome. In the latter part of the century, we saw a shift: men integrating feminine qualities of love, compassion, inclusivity, flow, surrender, and emotional expression. In the late 1900s, these feminine qualities started to become more prevalent in men than ever. Today, we are seeing a scattering of both, which is ultimately causing confusion both for those men who lead and those who follow his leadership. We see a certain brand of male leader who likes to keep it old school by abusing his power, forcing his will, fueling his ego, and using fear to get devotion. This overly-masculine man tends to be in relationships that lack real connection and trust, and this man also tends to create hostile and toxic work environments. On the other side of the coin, we are seeing a new brand of man, the nice guy. This modern man has many feminine qualities that have been developed from having a female, his mother, teaching him how to be a man. He is nice, sweet, and caring, but he lacks the confidence or fortitude to exude his power for the greater good, to take risks, or to set boundaries. In his relationships, this man’s weakness is felt strongly by his woman, leading to an erosion of her feelings of safety and trust in his presence and power, and thus an erosion of the couple’s romantic life due to an utter lack of sexual polarity. The nice guy’s weaknesses also show up in the workplace, he tends to get run over and ignored by more masculine colleagues, and ends up not being true to those “ who follow him because of his lack of power and inability to create heartful action. This leads to resentment on his part, and from those who follow him. IT IS TIME FOR THE RISE OF THE CONGRUENT LEADER – ONE WHO MAGNETICALLY CREATES LOVING, TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS AND INSPIRED, EMPOWERED, AND HIGH-PERFORMING ORGANIZATIONAL CULTURES The Congruence Project | 21 21 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. The modern-day male leader, one who the world sorely needs right now, carries masculine traits of power, intelligence, structure, and integrity, and is also able to integrate his feminine qualities of open-heartedness, compassion, and emotional intelligence. The world is divided, relationships are divided, societies are divided, and organizations are divided … because the modern man is divided in his masculinity and femininity. Once he integrates his masculine power with his feminine heart, he is ready to lead the world into a unified, empowered, and loving state. The graphic below illustrates the masculine and feminine traits in their purest forms that show up in both men and women. Keep in mind all men carry both masculine and feminine traits, and all women carry both masculine and feminine traits, though each person is on a different place on the spectrum as to their masculine–feminine balance. This graphic illustrates 1) healthy masculine traits, 2) toxic overly-masculine traits, 3) toxic under-masculine traits, 4) the associated feminine traits that if integrated in a man will enhance his heart-driven power, and 5) the feminine traits in a romantic partner or work or social organizational follower that when polarized by a man’s masculinity, may inspire devotion from those who trust his leadership. EMPOWERMENT CONSCIOUSNESS TRUSTABLE PURPOSE & LEADERSHIP PLANNING Healthy Over Under Integrated Feminine Masculine Masculine Masculine Feminine Polarity Personal Power Exploitation Powerless Inclusiveness Standing for Beliefs Stubborness Tolerate Radiates Love Conviction Conceiteness Self-doubt Vulnerability (Vanity) EMPOWERMENT Certainty Cocksure Doubt Empathy Willpower Controlling Lassitude Surrender Strength Forceful Weak Beautiful Self-Prioritization Selfishness Altruism Nurturing Self-Fulfillment Self-Absorption Neediness Fulfilled by (non-neediness) Intimacy Indepedence Individualistic Validation Seeking Codependence Freedom Subjection Wandering Expansive Fearlessness Recklessness Fear Passionate (Risk Taking) Courageous Brash Cowardice Soft (Heroism) The Congruence Project | 22 22 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. Healthy Over Under Integrated Feminine Masculine Masculine Masculine Feminine Polarity Groundedness Rigidity Unsettled Sensuality & Pleasure Stillness Indifference Reactivity Expressiveness (Centeredness) CONSCIOUSNESS Presence (Awareness) Emptiness Distraction Feeling Meaning-making Observing Ignorance Judgement Desirous Non-Attachment Controlling Indifference Reacting Holding Space Emptiness Reactivity Transmits Energy Wisdom Hubris Obliviousness Intuition Abundance Entitlement Scarcity Radiance (Attractiveness or Magnetism) Alignment Rigidity Disjointedness Flexibility Compartmentalization Sectionalize Assoication Associative (Emotionally) Healthy Over Under Integrated Feminine Masculine Masculine Masculine Feminine Polarity Impeccability Perfectionism Inadequacy Open-Heart Integrity Unscrupulousness Incompetence Seeks Safety & Security Toughness & Liability (Reliance) Irresponsible Sensitivity Accountability TRUSTABLE Consistency Mundane Erraticism Adaptability LEADERSHIP Confidence Arrogance Insecurity Charismatic Directing Domineering Submissiveness Receptive (Penetrating) Assertiveness Aggressiveness Passivity Submissiveness Boldness Rashness Passivity Graceful Directness Boisterousness Deceit Emotional Clear Demanding Ambiguity Revealing Communication Setting Manipulation Naïveté Kindness Boundaries Tension Misery Playfulness Humor Healthy Over Under Integrated Feminine Masculine Masculine Masculine Feminine Polarity Purposefulness Obsession Aimlessness Compassion Big-Picture Focus Idealistic Perfectionism Specifics-Focused Driven by Intensity Uncompetitive Driven by Accomplishment PURPOSE & Connection & Love (Competitiveness) PLANNING Ambitiousness Compulsive Laziness Motivated by Praise Exploring Depth Unknowable Shallowness Seeking Depth Logical Overanalytical Witless Intuitive Structured Rigidity Disorganized Flow Pragmatic Idealistic Impractical Creativity Disciplined Doctrinated Disorder Spontanieity Decisive Control Indecisiveness Fluctuation The Congruence Project | 23 23 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. KARL’S STORY Living My Dream Life Just two days after leaving a relationship in which I was not in my power – constantly disrespected, not heard, and a drowning sex life, I was tasked to travel to Arkansas weekly to work on a project as part of my technology management consulting job. This kicked off a year of living a lifestyle I had dreamed of all my life. For the better part of a year, I was flying to Arkansas for the week, then traveling to anywhere I chose within the US for the weekend. This lifestyle included lots of nice drinks, good food, and frequent socializing. I made frequent weekend trips to Miami to get my advanced scuba diving certification and dive shipwrecks in Key Largo, to learn salsa dancing in Little Havana, and to party my socks off in South Beach. It was a dream life in many ways, something you see in the movies. A Very Exhausting Life To arrive at this “dream” lifestyle, I worked fifty- to sixty-hour weeks with high pressure from clients, completed a never-ending number of tasks, took red-eye flights with two hours of sleep, caffeinated myself to pull it all off, drank and partied away my stress, and “powered through” any fatigue, headaches, or discomfort. I thought I was the strongest man in the world, so I could handle it. This mentality meant I also wanted to look good, so I pushed through heavy weightlifting sessions and one-mile swims in the few hours I had available on the road. I was living the lifestyle I always believed I wanted, and I was getting the praise, promotions, and income that I worked so hard for my entire career. Yet for some reason, my day-to-day, hour-to-hour, minute-to-minute feeling was one of frustration, anxiety, and overall dissatisfaction. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy, but I do now. The Congruence Project | 24 24 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. Falling to Illness I was feeling dissatisfied because this way of living was stressful and exhausting! I was basically pushing my human limits. Many “successful” people I knew were doing the same, so I figured it was acceptable and necessary to thrive. In November of 2017, I started paying the price for my “work hard, play hard,” “power through it” lifestyle. I started to wake up with severe fatigue, intense muscle aches, dizziness, and cognitive dysfunction. I could not get out of bed, I could not walk, I felt pain 24/7, and I lost my ability to read, write, and even think. It even hurt to feel emotions. Initially, each of these flare-up events lasted one to three weeks, and this occurred five times over the course of the next ten months. I moved to San Diego in June of 2018 to settle into one location so I could lower my stress and establish a consistent dating life; however, two months later, I experienced my fifth flare-up, one in which my symptoms never went away. This flare-up had me mostly housebound and bed bound for six months, and had me experiencing persistent fatigue, pain, and cognitive issues for far longer. And so the journey began … A Broken Medical System I started seeing doctor after doctor. I had the well-regarded UC San Diego medical system at my disposal, as well as many specialists to guide me. But the answer was always the same … they could not identify what was going on with me. Through this experience, and from hearing experiences of others with similar symptoms, I began to realize that the medical system wasn’t going to magically heal me. We have a great medical system for many, but this system was designed to treat those who experience a specific set of conditions within a box. This may be due to underfunded and underdeveloped research for many modern lifestyle-based illnesses, or maybe because patient care is tailored to cure health issues only when they can be resolved by a medication developed by a company that will greatly profit from the illness. But that is a conversation for another day. At this point, I knew I had to continue to look for answers, no one doctor was going to magically heal me. Facing My Fate Over the course of the next year, I starting moving in the right direction by working with a naturopathic doctor who put me on a strict diet, supplement, and IV regimen to fix my gut from a variety of bacterial issues, boost my immune system, and reduce inflammation in my brain and body. I also worked with a great chiropractor who helped me begin to balance my overly active nervous system stress response. In September of 2019, I was able to find another naturopathic doctor who finally diagnosed me with myalgic encephalomyelitis (also known as chronic fatigue syndrome), a debilitating neuroinflammatory condition without a known cure, a condition that has kept many at home and isolated from the world for years, some for decades. I now knew what was ahead of me. I started going to Stanford University, which is a leading caretaker for this condition, and they helped me find some tools to manage my condition. But overall, without a targeted treatment for this condition, the impact was minimal, and I knew the rest was up to me. The Congruence Project | 25 25 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. Relaxing into Self-Belief Even though the diagnosis and the journey ahead was scary, with no certainty of ever healing, I was optimistic because I have always had perseverance and personal transformation wasn’t new to me. A decade ago, I had lost sixty-three pounds in less than one year by trying a variety of exercise routines and diets, which eventually heeded fitness results I never thought were possible. This transformation helped me run Tough Mudder and Spartan Race events and gave me newfound physical abilities and confidence to hike difficult trails across the US, scuba dive shipwrecks, and swim long distances in the ocean. I also had established a mindfulness meditation practice several years ago to better handle work and relationship stress, as well as sharpen my focus and awareness to enhance my productivity, presence, and leadership abilities in the workplace. In summary, these experiences provided me the inner knowing that I can succeed at anything I dedicated myself to. I also knew, this was my toughest test. A Journey Inward Since a hallmark of my illness was nervous system stress response dysfunction, I knew I needed to alter my physiology. One thing I had learned from my research is that healing happens when you access the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for relaxation and restoration, and when accessing theta brainwave states. I used any small amounts of energy available to try meditation, breathwork, and wellness therapies to access these deep and restful states. Many positive effects arose from going inward into deeper layers of my subconscious. The meditation helped reduce stress, soothed the extreme fatigue, and reduced the cognitive issues. The breathwork and sauna oxygenated and relaxed my body, significantly reducing the intense body aches. As a side effect, these inward practices connected me closer with my purpose, my beliefs, my passions, and my desires. Becoming an observer of myself kicked off my healing process by teaching me that disease manifests from not being fully connected with my body and my true self. Once I learned this, I got to know myself better, and I was committed to showing up authentically as one unified being in my body and in the world. Unleashing the Power of My Presence As soon as I had enough health to begin socializing, I made some friends at an improv workshop, who ended up being future brothers and partners in developing a men’s community. The purpose statement I crafted as part of our men’s group was to “unleash the power of my presence.” This meant consistently speaking my truth in a way that is felt by others, connecting with others with depth and authenticity, having the deep intimacy I desired, making a real impact with my life’s work, on my terms – and most importantly, reclaiming my health and vitality. The Congruence Project | 26 26 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. This process, guided greatly by my men’s group brothers, helped me identify and clear my deepest suppressed emotions and beliefs. I learned how to express myself authentically without a veil of how I “should” show up. This meant fully expressing my emotions, whether they are excitement, anger, frustration, or sadness, to be fully understood and to clear stuck emotions from my body. I also learned how to create and lead in this world based on a purpose and passion that was unique to me, utilizing a higher level of intuition, creativity, play, vulnerability, and compassion. Through my inner journey, I discovered that having a commanding presence isn’t something that is faked or forced, it is a higher level of awareness, combined with authenticity and passion – that I can stand for and share with the people around me. Elevating My Life Through deep emotional intelligence work, along with the expression work in my men’s group, I began to create a new relationship to the different flavors and volumes of my emotions that I perpetually experience. I also began to believe in the possibility that my chronic health condition had an emotional component to it. All those years of pushing through stress, not owning my power or getting my needs met, and complying to others’ rules had taken an emotional toll on me. I signed up for a couple of courses to learn how to rewire my brain from being fear-led, to being led by abundance and endless possibility. This was a giant step in my recovery and growth. Through daily exercises focused on neural rewiring, heart opening, and embodying the emotions that resemble the archetypes of the man I choose to be, I started to move past old, stuck ways of thinking and feeling, and began to create new, intentional ways of thinking, feeling, and acting that better serve my desired life. As I elevated my thoughts and emotions, I noticed that my health symptoms drastically decreased, I felt more inner peace, and cultivated a greater excitement for life. As a result of this elevated energy I was putting out, more things began to go my way with my health, with intimacy, socially, and in business. This is something I could not fully explain, and something I did not need to. I was transforming from a man burdened by constriction in his body, lack of awareness, and the need to constantly “do” to control the future, to a man grounded in inner peace, awareness, and the surrender to flow and the feeling of the moment. This journey has brought much healing and growth, I am excited to see what it brings next. The Congruence Project | 27 27 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. Certifications & Training: • AFPA Certified Health and Wellness Coach • UCSD Mindfulness for Performance Enhancement, Awareness & Knowledge (MPeak) Trained Coach • Yoga Alliance RYT-200 Certified Yoga Teacher • Art of Breath 101 Seminar Graduate • Certified Level 1 – Reiki (Energy Therapy) Practitioner • Certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner Corporate Industry Experience: • Financial Asset Management – Operations Manager & Corporate Strategy • Consulting – Manager, Digital Transformation & Management Consulting • FoodTech Start-up – Head of Business Development • Internet of Things Blogger and Adviser The Congruence Project | 28 28 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. JOIN THE MOVEMENT – BE A CONGRUENT LEADER The Leadership Brotherhood The Leadership Brotherhood has been specifically designed for top business leaders who are looking to up-level their quality of life and evolve their leadership style to grow business revenue and impact and guide their relationships with integrity and inspiration. Through this three month program, participants can expect to gain the tools to develop inner congruence in order to show up with greater health, energy, emotional intelligence, creativity, charisma, power, and presence. The goal is to help men develop into healthier, more emotionally intelligent, and inspirational and empowered leaders who can then create healthier, more emotionally intelligent, and inspirational and empowered relationships, organizations, and societies. At the end of this program, participants will experience a transformation in one or more of the following areas: Health & Emotional Relationship Powerful Vitality Intelligence & Sexual Presence Mastery The Congruence Project | 29 29 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. The training provided will cover the following three training tracks, each separated into four week segments. The coaching provided will be fully customized to each participant’s personal needs. The three training tracks are: Mind–Body Masculine Body Intelligence Stress Release Presence & & Emotional & Restoration Power Freedom Practices will be provided to optimize mental, emotional, and physiological health, along with an understanding of masculine and feminine trait integration, to achieve a personal transformation that impacts all areas of life: business, relationships, and social impact. Practices include, but are not limited to: Wellness Therapies Creative flow activities Mindset development Meditation Shadow work Yoga Nutrition Breathwork Neural reprogramming Embodied expression The goal is not to throw a bunch of information at you, but to give enough information, the tools for consistent practice, and dedicated coaching to retrain your mind, nervous system, emotions, and physical body to work for you in creating your desired lifestyle and in exceeding business goals. The mastermind structure, along with the power of brotherhood with other top business leaders will help bolster each participant’s transformation. We rise together! The twelve week training includes: • Two In-Person Retreats in Tulum, Mexico • Weekly Virtual Group Coaching Sessions • Weekly Practice Assignments for Continuous Growth & Transformation • Tools For Real-Time Feedback, Support, & Accountability • Ongoing Alumni Virtual Gatherings For more information about the Leadership Brotherhood program, visit: www.karllashkari.com/leadershipbrotherhood The Congruence Project | 30 30 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. Men’s Congruence Workshops Join my weekly in-person Men’s Congruence Workshops to inwardly explore, outwardly express, and share all parts of yourself with a community of brothers. It is time we as men develop congruence within ourselves so we can show up in our lives powerfully with heart and emotional intelligence, and it is time we as men collectively band together in brotherhood to allow ourselves to be fully expressed in all of who we are. The container held for the men in each workshop is built on non-judgement, openness, and trust. Each workshop will cover a different theme, with each theme typically centered around a specific emotion or trait within each of us. Each session will include a combination of the following exercises: meditation, visualization, breathwork, embodied expression, sexual energy circulation, shadow work, archetype development, targeted coaching, and group support. Men’s workshops are held around the world. For more information, visit: www.karllashkari.com/menswork If you would like any additional information about me, the Congruence Project movement, men’s work, or how I can help you transform into the most authentic, powerful, and embodied version of yourself in your relationship and career, feel free to check out my website at www.karllashkari.com or email me directly at [email protected]. The Congruence Project | 31 31 Copyright © 2020 Karl Lashkari LLC. All Rights Reserved. www.karllashkari.com The Congruence Project | 32