434442769-Kojima-Name-Generator.pdf -

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KOJIMA NAME GENERATOR Section 1: Determining How Many Names You Have Kojima often creates characters that have many alternate names, so we must first figure out how many names you will have. 1. Roll a d6. Use this table to determine how many names you have: 1­5 You have 1 name. 6 You have 1 name + 6 other alternate names. 2. If you rolled a 6, you must do this worksheet 6 more times. You do not need to complete Sections 1­3 on subsequent name generations. Section 2: Personal Information Kojima’s characters have names that are directly related to their own character traits. This information will make sure your name fits your personality. 1. What is your full name? _______________________________________________________________________ 2. What do you do at your occupation? _______________________________________________________________________ 2a. Condense the verb in your answer into a single ­er noun. (e.g. if you are a sheep farmer, your answer will be “farmer”) _______________________________________________________________________ 1 3. What was your first pet’s specific species/breed? If you never had a pet, please answer with an animal you wish you owned. _______________________________________________________________________ 4. What’s your most embarrassing childhood memory? Be specific. _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 4a. Condense this story into two words. _______________________________________________________________________ 5. What is the object you’d least like to be stabbed by? _______________________________________________________________________ 6. What is something you are good at? (Verb ending in ­ing) _______________________________________________________________________ 7. How many carrots do you believe you could eat in one sitting, if someone, like, forced you to eat as many carrots as possible? _______________________________________________________________________ 8. What is your greatest intangible fear? (e.g. death, loneliness, fear itself) _______________________________________________________________________ 9. What is your greatest tangible fear? (e.g. horses) _______________________________________________________________________ 10. What is the last thing you did before starting this worksheet? _______________________________________________________________________ 2 11. What condition is your body currently in? (single word answer) _______________________________________________________________________ 12. Favorite state of matter? _______________________________________________________________________ 13. A word your name kind of sounds like? (e.g. Brian ­> Brain) _______________________________________________________________________ 14. What is your Zodiac sign? _______________________________________________________________________ 15. If you had to define your personality in one word, what would it be? _______________________________________________________________________ Section 3: Kojima Information Kojima character names reflect his own idiosyncrasies. He can’t help himself. 16. Who is your favorite film character? (NOTE: must be played by Kurt Russell) _______________________________________________________________________ 17. What is the last word of the title of your favorite Kubrick film? _______________________________________________________________________ 18. What is the first word in the title of your favorite Joy Division album? _______________________________________________________________________ 19. What is a scientific term you picked up from listening to NPR once? _______________________________________________________________________ 20. What is a piece of military hardware you think looks cool even though war is bad? _______________________________________________________________________ 3 21. What is something you’d enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do? _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ 21a. Please condense into one word. _______________________________________________________________________ 4 Section 4: Determining Your Name Conditions Sometimes, a character will have a plot­based condition that affects their name. You, too, might have a condition that affects your name. Conditions can stack, so please make note of how many your name has. 1. THE ­MAN CONDITION: Roll a d4. Use this table to determine whether you have this condition: 1­3 You do not have this condition. 4 You have this condition. Your last name will include the suffix ­man. If your name already has ­man at the end of it, I guess you’re just going to have ­manman at the end of your name. 2. THE CONDITION CONDITION: Roll a d8. Use this table to determine your what this condition will do to you: 1­5 You do not have this condition. 6 You’re big. Your name must have “Big” at the beginning of it. 7 You are older than you once were. Your name must have “Old” at the beginning of it. 8 You are how you currently are. Please add your answer from Section 2, Number 11 to the beginning of your name. 3. THE CLONE CONDITION: Roll a d12. Use this table to determine if you have this condition: 1­11 You do not have this condition. 12 You are a clone of someone else, or you have been brainwashed into becoming a mental doppelganger of someone else. Find someone who has completed this worksheet and replace 50% of your Kojima name with 50% of their Kojima name. 5 4. THE KOJIMA CONDITION: Roll a d100 (or two d10s, using one as the 1s place and the other as the 10s place.) Use this table to determine if you have this condition: 1­68, You do not have this condition. 70­100 69 Oh no. You are Hideo Kojima. Hideo Kojima created you and is also you. You are the man who created himself and there is nothing you can do about it. You’re in Kojima’s world—your world—and that’s just the breaks, pal. Stop this worksheet now. You’re Hideo Kojima. Go do the things that Hideo Kojima does. Section 5: Determining Your Name Category Kojima names fall into a finite number of categories. This section will determine the category in which you name belongs. NOTE: If you have a name + 6 alternate names, you will do this section once to find your true name, and then you will have an alternate name in every other category. 5. Roll a d20. Use this table to determine your name category. Once you have figured out your name category, you can skip ahead to the section that outlines the rules of your name: 1 You have a NORMAL NAME (See Section 6) 2­6 You have an OCCUPATIONAL NAME (See Section 7) 7­10 You have a HORNY NAME (See Section 8) 11­13 You have a THE NAME (See Section 9) 14­17 You have a COOL NAME (See Section 10) 18­19 You have a VIOLENT NAME (See Section 11) 20 You have a NAME THAT LACKS SUBTEXT (See Section 12) 6 Section 6: NORMAL NAME Kojima’s early work includes lots of characters that have names that are widely considered to be “normal.” Was this just because, in the early years, he didn’t have the power to say, “I’m Hideo Kojima, I can name someone Die­Hardman if I want to” without people questioning him? Probably. 1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 1 here. This is your full Kojima name: _______________________________________________________________________ 2. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 3. That’s your name. Your Kojima name is probably just your actual name. Sorry if you were expecting something wild. Skip to Section 13. Section 7: OCCUPATIONAL NAME Kojima’s characters tend to be driven by the work that they do. That often carries over to their names. You, too, can be nothing more than your job. 1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 2a here. This is your last name: _______________________________________________________________________ 2. Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name: 1 Your answer to Section 2, Number 15 2 Your answer to Section 2, Number 6 3 Your answer to Section 2, Number 13 4 Your answer to Section 3, Number 16 3. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 4. That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13. 7 Section 8: HORNY NAME Kojima’s characters and stories are irrevocably horny. Weirdly horny, sure, but horny nonetheless. 1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 3 here. This is your last name: _______________________________________________________________________ 2. Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your first name: 1 Your answer to Section 2, Number 12. 2 Your first name is “Naked.” 3 Your answer is Section 2, Number 6. 4 Your answer to Section 2, Number 14. 3. If you feel like it, your middle name can be “Lickable.” I won’t stop you. 4. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 5. That’s your Kojima name. Skip to Section 13. Section 9: THE NAME Kojima loves to make people have names that start with the word “The” and they usually symbolize fears or unstoppable forces. You are now that unstoppable force. 1. Your first name is “The.” 2. Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name: 1 Your answer to Section 2, Number 8 2 Your answer to Section 2, Number 9. 8 3 Your answer is Section 2, Number 4a. 4 Your answer to Section 3, Number 20. 3. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. If you have any conditions that go at the front of a name, they now go directly after “The.” 4. That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. Section 10: COOL NAME Kojima loves to be cool. Sometimes, his idea of cool is a bit strange, but it is always cool to Hideo Kojima, and that’s what matters. 1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 3, Number 21a here. This is your first name: _______________________________________________________________________ 2. Roll a d6. Use this table to determine your last name: 1 Your answer to Section 3, Number 17. 2 Your answer to Section 3, Number 18. 3 Your answer to Section 3, Number 19. 4 Your answer to Section 2, Number 6. 5 Your answer to Section 2, Number 8. 6 Your answer to Section 2, Number 13. 3. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 4. That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. 9 Section 11: VIOLENT NAME Sometimes, a Kojima name can be very threatening and violent, like Sniper Wolf, or The Fury. Now you can also be threatening and violent. 1. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 5 here. This is your last name: _______________________________________________________________________ 2. Roll a d4. Use this table to determine your last name: 1 Your answer to Section 3, Number 19. 2 Your answer to Section 2, Number 12. 3 Your answer to Section 3, Number 20. 4 Your answer to Section 2, Number 9. 3. That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. Section 12: NAME THAT LACKS SUBTEXT Sometimes, Kojima gives up and just names a character exactly what they are. Congratulations. You are exactly what you do. 5. Please rewrite your answer from Section 2, Number 10 here. This is your full name: _______________________________________________________________________ 6. Add any conditions you accrued in Section 4. 7. That’s your name. Skip to Section 13. 10 Section 13: Explaining Your Name Kojima’s characters know that their names are meaningful, and they will tell you it completely unprompted. You, too, must explain your name to any potential friends, foes, or shadowy government institutions. 1. Use the following blank to fill in your monologue. Explain your Kojima name to the best of your ability. Feel free to draw from personal experience, friendships you’ve had, or just say some guy on the internet made you fill out an 11­page worksheet to gain this name. Here’s a start: Hi, I’m _________________________________________, and if you’re wondering how I got this name, well, let me tell you. I ___________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________________ CONGRATULATIONS. YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE KOJIMA NAME GENERATOR. 11