Aden Tarrant Aden Tarrant was born in a small town in Mexico called Tortellini, he was born at a very young age. His parents were drunks and spent all their money on the local bar and good clothes to fit in with the good Christian people of the town. At age 5 Aden burned his house down killing off his family tree and he changed his name to Aden “LongSilver” Tarrant, because he would carry around a revolver. He stole a horse from a rancher and robbed 2 banks. He also invented the telescope but then realized it was invented several hundred years ago and got sad. He moved down to Cuba for a while and started a farm and then burned it down for insurance fraud. At 19 he got into several bar fights and was challenged to a duel by 20 people at once. Aden made a 20 cylinder revolver and won the duel with only one bullet. The sheriff of Saint Poggersville was not happy that Aden just killed 20 of the men that lived there and so he tried to assassinate him by poisoning his drink with rattlesnake poison. The snake the sheriff actually got it from was a simple gardening snake so Aden didn’t even notice. The sheriff went out of his way to get 50 rattlesnakes and brewed their poison into a special beer and gave it to Aden. Aden actually used to drink rattlesnake poison for fun so he was immune to it. The sheriff had the brilliant idea to get Aden super drunk in the bar by giving him free drinks and then he went into the bar with a firing squad of 10 men. Aden dodged about 70 bullets and killed all the men, he didn’t shoot the sheriff though. He did 500 backflips at once and roundhouse kicked the sheriff out the window. The sheriff called for the local militia to come and get Aden dead or alive. The militia arrived at where Aden was staying and raided the house, they found a note that said “Got ya” and then Aden threw a molotov into the house. The sheriff resigned from his job after the militia was killed and went into hiding. Aden went on a journey to the himalayas and met a monk named Cameron. Aden wrote in his journal that this man resembled Rasputin and looked like he slept outside of a bar every night begging for poker money. Aden mediated with him for 2 years and learned how to harness energy from the sun which made him never have to eat or drink again. He also climbed up the highest mountain and drank 200 eagle eggs giving him super hearing and eyesight. Aden traveled back to Poggersville where he lived in solitude for 8 years performing experiments on lizards and trying to figure out how they are related to humans. A man named Sammy McSammerson told Aden about gold being found in western parts of the United States. Aden went prospecting and found several pounds of gold and then he killed another prospector and moved back to Texas. He ended up in the Alamo and decided to stay there for awhile. He woke up and heard loud noises from around the Alamo, one of the people there told him the Mexican army was trying to retake the Alamo. Aden grabbed his revolver and gunned down several of the men. On the 13th day he woke up to the fort being breached and two Mexican soldiers pointing bayonets at his neck. He pulled out his bowie knife and stabbed them repeatedly in the legs and then killed them. He ran outside holding an American flag and started fighting back the Mexican force. Aden said “REMEMBER THE ALAMO!” while holding the flag and shooting his revolver with the other. In total Aden killed about 80 men using his 20 shot revolver and also the metal plate armor he made helped him. He was shot in the leg with a 50 cal bullet and was then bayoneted by 15 men. He killed 7 of them and was then only killed when his metal helmet was knocked off and he was shot in the head. Aden Tarrant was forgotten in history, a forgotten war hero and overall a crazy Texan.
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