.. THE SCREW OBSCENITY . TRIAL CONSUMER'S CiUIDETO ' MASSACiE . . PARLORS . LER 5 56 PUBLISHER'S CENTERFOLD: STATEMENT LESLIE BOVEE Hot Box Office. 6 FEEDBACK 67 HUSTLER HUMOR 10 ADVISE & CONSENT 68 l' BITS & PIECES Cock Soap and Other Wet and Sudsy Delights. SCREWS OBSCENITY TRIAL Entrapment In Kansas. by Bruce David 75 20 SEX PLAY COOKIE Cream Centered. Gems on Cunt. 80 by Tuppy Owens 22 TONI GETTING IT UP FOR THE GAME Play Ball. Open and Honest. by Curt Richards 28 NEVER FUCK 85 WITH KARMA SEX BITS Screwed by Fate. Fiction by Harold Norse 90 31 BABY BREESE KINKY KORNER The Bondage Tease. by Debbie Canton Pink as a Baby's Butt. 36 99 HUSTLER'S HUSTLER'S GUIDE BEAVER HUNT TO AMERICAN Model Openings Wanted. MASSAGE PARLORS Hand to Mouth from Coast to Coast. by Frank Fortunato 112 HONEY HOOKER 46 MOLLY The Second Cumming. by Jim McQuade Roller Ball. 116 52 X-RATED REVIEWS MAIL-ORDER FEEDBACK Stimulation and Automation. OCT. 1976 VOL. 3 NO.4 aTell BUNGHOLE PINK FROM BABY BREESE When we went in search of "BABY BREESE," the girl Penthouse had played up as a pubescent teeny- bopper, we found out two things: She's really 20 years old and a gaping ass- hole. Photographer Arny Freytag told us that Breese refused to show pink, as she had originally agreed to, and he was sweating his assignment-until he saw his opening. " Then I took as many pictures as I could before she moved." Erotic fi lm star LESLIE BOVEE, on the other hand, proved to be the soul of cooperation in posing for her October centerlold-even to the point of keep- ing the other models amused through three rainy days on location. By the time Leslie's shooting was finished, we agreed with her claim that, "Sex is the breath of life for me," and we think you will, too, by the time you've finished shooting. Writer FRANK FORTUNATO found sex and humor on his cross-country jaunt, and he rates the rub-off scenes in eight major cities for HUSTLER'S GUIDE TO AMERICAN MASSAGE PARLORS. Fortunato is a former massage-parlor operator himself and the mentor of Gay Talese when Talese was researching his soon-to-be-published book on sex in America. Frank will also be our resident film critic for HUSTLER's X-Rated Movie Reviews , starting next month. Contributing editor TUPPY OWENS gets off on her job, too: writing about fucking for our SEX PLAY feature . Tuppy's career as a self-educated sexologist has included perlorming in the well-received erotic film, Sensations , as well as giving history's first televised blow-job, on the now-defunct cable TV program, Midniflht Blue . In this month's Sex Play, GEMS ON CUNT, Tuppy advises men on the ,ns and outs of caressing a woman 's pussy for maximum mutual pleasure. It's a subject we can all get into . When the staff found a sign,reading, "Do Not Disturb-Man Sleeping," on an office door one morning, we knew that Managing BRUCE DAVID had put in another all-nighter writing his up-to-the-minute report on SCREW'S OBSCENITY TRIAL. Bruce covered the trial from behind his sunglasses after he was stunned by the paranoia-inducing experience of being recognized-and denounced-by a federal prosecutor he had never met. Looks like they've got a file on everybody. HAROLD NORSE's story, NEVER FUCK WITH KARMA, deals a San Francisco poet who, like Harold, is beNer known for his poetry in Europe than in the U.S.A. Harold hides out in North Beach when he isn't cha sing ass at the Caffe Trieste. This makes us wonder where Norse got the idea for the jailbait-fucking character in his story. We hate to blow Harold's cover, but we're proud of the first-class fiction , reportage and female flesh that went into this issue. As always, we're sure that you will get a lot of pleasure out of it. Enjoy! Associate Publisher and Executive Editor 4 Statement THE SHAME OF THE SUPREME COURT Former Federal Judge G. Harrold ing your business their business. In Carswell was busted in Tallahassee, refusing to listen to the arguments of Florida, for allegedly making a homo- the Virginia appeal , the Supreme Court sexual pass at an undercover cop after ruled-without comment- that your picking him up in a public men's room . constitutional right to privacy under the Carswell, you'll remember, was the Fourth Amendment does not extend to judicial mediocrity Nixon nominated for your bedroom door-that the police do the Supreme Court after the Senate have the right to invade your home and refused to confirm his first choice, regulate your sex life. Clement Haynsworth. Due to an ap- Perhaps the Supreme Court made pointment made by our past , present that ruling because the issue of sexual and future Richard Milhous Nixon, we freedom isn't a burning one for the nine to the way we live today and who don't would now have an alleged closet old farts who sit on the Court. They give a flying fuck about our con- queer sitting on the U. S. Supreme probably haven't had their joints up- stitutional rights. By acting behind Court. Fortunately the Senate shot much less sucked- since before Liz closed doors the Supreme Court is down Carswell just as they had reject- Ray gave her first blow-job. Or maybe aiding and abetting this tyranny. If we ed Haynsworth. As I have pointed out Burger and the other justices actually don't wake up to this fact, the slimy since HUSTLER's inception, the next do get off on cornholing their wives, but Nixonites on the Court will have us all two generations will still be recovering like so many hypocritical big shots in in the shitter. from Nixon's influence. Carswell didn't government, they figure that what's What can you do? You can pick up a make it to the Supreme Court, but I permissible for them isn't OK for us piece of paper and a pencil and do wonder about Warren Burger and the peons who pay their fat salaries. the same thing I'm going to do: Write other jackals Nixon did succeed in This Court's record of unfavorable to your congressman, write to your appointing to the Court . rulings concerning our individual civil mayor, write to the Supreme Court, It 's ironic that the Supreme Court, of rights has created a favorable climate write to whoever values your vote (and which Harrold Carswell was nearly a for the plague of official censorship and don't kid yourself that the Supreme member, recently refused to hear oral persecution of outspoken dissidents Court justices don't value your vote; arguments by two homosexuals to rule that is now being brought down on they're just politicians who have lucked that the State of Virginia 's law against America by ruthless officeholders at all into a lifetime appointment, and they sodomy is unconstitutional. I think the levels of government. Harry Reems value your vote for their party's can- Court's arrogant treatment of the and AI Goldstein have been convicted didates, if not for themselves). Let them Virginia case is typical of its shameful on trumped-up obscenity charges by know what your forefathers meant by pattern of reversing past gains in civil lower courts in Mem phis and Wichita, claiming their "inalienable rights" 200 liberties cases pertaining to sex. respectively, and I myself face a similar years ago. Let them know that we, too, Not that I'm turning into a gay lib- situation in Cincinnati. In the 40 ,000 are determined to preserve the rights ber, but the same 12-gauge sodomy copies of the July issue of HUSTLER guaranteed by our great Constitution. statutes that make it a crime in 36 sold in the Philadelphia area, Mayor Every American who wants to be free states for a man to suck another man's Frank Rizzo, or one of his WOUld-be has to stand up and be counted. I'm cock orto fuck him in the ass also make cronies, arranged the removal of the talking about freedom, fellows-it's not it a crime for your wife or girlfriend to page where he was named "Asshole of just another word. If freedom doesn't suck your cock or for you to fuck her in the Month." exist for some of us today , it won 't exist the ass or to eat her cunt. You can go to Now, more than ever, it seems that for any of us tomorrow. prison for years for doing that . the ideal of freedom under law upon Your career, you. home, your life which this country was founded is a itself could be destroyed for engaging in acts that are nobody's business but your own-because the state is mak- OCTOBER wishful fantasy-a political wet dream. That freedom is being choked off by dictatorial politicia ns who can't relate /ar,£","" 5 Feedback SPEAKING UP FOR SPEAKING OUT remember when Ufe magazine ran an article As both an advertiser in your magazine and a about the slaughter of seals? Didn 't you see that reader, I believe HUSTLER is Ihe mosl socially mother seal looking at her freshly skinned important periodical published in America today. youngster? By exercising your inalienable right to express 1 don't pretend to have seen all of your issues, whatever ideas or opinions you choose without but I certainly will never see another. A one- regard to authoritarian censorship or to the woman boycott may not hurt you : I just want you opinions of others. you protect and expand to know about it. Please keep your bloody individual freedom for all. baseball bats and dead animals off the printing Through HUSTLER , you Bre effectively under· press. You are disgusting! mining the "legitimacy of authority" myth. The Karen Hill and ruling classes have depended on Oxnard, California this myth throughout recorded history 10 support their parasitical existences at the untold suffering and expense of all productive individuals. You There was lots of great stuff in your July must be well aware that these destructive 1976 issue, but I found most of your cartoons powerholders inlend to put you and HUSTLER sickening. I was reaUy appalled by the one on out 01 business by force or by fraud. If the page 36, showing the seallhat had been clubbed authoritarians and politicians fail to wipe you out, to death. Although the one on page 15 showing the myth-shattering influence of HUSTLER will the cancer-ridden smoker is gory, I think it is eventually wipe them out-and they know it. funny and makes a strong point. I'm very much in With all my resources , I am dedicated to favor ot increasing the rights of nonsmokers and individual rights and to the destruction of the discouraging smokers for their own good. Your authoritarian myth. I regret not knowing about jokes were very good. Why don't you bring your your magazine before I published my latest book, cartoons up to the level of your photos, articles Psychuous Sex. The next printing , however, will r-- - - -:---- -- - - - - - - - - , and other lidMs in HUSTLER? include an addendum that identities and un- Bill H . derscores the major contributions you have Hayward, Californ ia made to individual freedom through HUSTLER. Frank R. Wallace Just because we run an article dealing with I & 0 Publishing Co. incesl, we don't expect you to run out and fuck Boulder City, Nevada your mother or your brothers and sisters. When we publish a picture of a fake cock and a BREACH OF " FAITH" miniature guillotine, we hope you don't charge Why did the girl who was featured in your into the kitchen and cut off your pricks. A cartoon "Have a Little Faith" spread in the April 1976 of a dead seal doesn 't mean that we want issue 01 HUSTLER also appear in the July t 976 thousands of HUSTLER fans to attack local zoos issue of Club International? The pictures are and bludgeon all the seals to death with basebafl identical to yours in pose and setting. Is Club bats and motorcycle chains. We weren't joking International so hard up for chicks to put in their about brutality to animals. We were lampooning magazine that they buy leftover shots from you , that aspect of American society that loves or what? violence mixed with their entertainment. Mark Gleason Flossmoor, Illinois GREATER "GLORY" OF HUSTLER In you r July 1976 issue, there was a fiction We buy afl rights on the photo spreads that piece called "Glory," byJ . R. Rivers. It was very appear in HUSTLER. If the photographer decides touching and reminded me of a girl 1 once fell in to reshoot the girl and submit them to another love with. Reading this story helped me under- magazine, there's not much we can do about it. stand what happened in my own experience, and Either Club International doesn't keep up with 1 am su re that a lot of other men reading it fett what the other men's magazines are publishing the same way. or they just don't mind giving their readers sloppy I hope your magazine will print more fiction like seconds. t might add that aUf models are being this in the future so that your female readers can paid a great deal more now than in the past, so as better understand us men. an added precaution to prevent things like this Rich Moreskini happening in the future, we have the girl sign a Riverside, Californ ia contract that she will not pose for another magazine for a period of six months. REAMEO AND RILED BY AN ASSHOLE In your July 1976 issue, I enjoyed your " Ass- SEAL OF DISAPPROVAL hole of the Month" feature concerning the blue- I am a woman who normally enjoys your nosed federa l prosecutor, La rry Parrish. A hip, hip magazine from front to back cover. However, hooray to you for telling it like it is. your cartoon of a seal being beaten to death on My experience with Parrish cost me 15 years page 36 01 the July t 976 issue has gone a little 01 my life, which are now being served in Ihe too far into "sick" humor. I cannot begin to Federal Penitentiary at Leavenworth, Kansas. believe that anyone could find that cartoon tunny. Parrish is not what he claims to be. It is enough to make my stomach turn . Don 't you In Memphis, Tennessee, one cannot expect a 6 HUSTLER · . It's because they are carefully formu- 1076 lated to be truly effective. It's because Woodley Herber* has only used the finest Send to: herbs, no matter how expensive. Herbs Please send: SUBTOTAL $ _ __ that have been used as aphrodisiacs for _ _ Lids of FIORD (112501) al $4.95 ea $ - - Ohio Residents, add centuries. Fabled yohimbe from Africa, _ _ lids of VOLUPTE (#2502) al $595 ea S-- 4% sales lax Postage, handling & insurance _ _ 1_ 0_0 ginseng from China, Mexican damiana; PLEASE PRINT' plus verbascum flo wers, humulus lupus NAME TOTAL and many others to produce two potent, but fine-tasting, blends . . . to smoke like ADDRESS marijuana, o r mix with your own regular CITY STATE ZIP blend . Enclosed is my 0 Check 0 Money Order (Cash not accepted) Or charge to my 0 BankAmericard 0 Master Charge Smoke a joint with your lover . . feel I Credit Card No. Interbank No (Me only ) your bodies smile at each other. Sognalure (I AM 21 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER) EXpiration Dale C AliTIO N: Avo id drivi ng or o pe rat ing heavy equi pmen t for 4 ho urs a ft er using these products. Money order and c redit card purchases will be shipped in 5 working days or less. All orders are discreetly packed and promptly delivered. ·Woodley Herber. VOlupt e' a nd Fio rd a re trade ma rks o f Th e Woodley Herber Compa ny. I fair trial because many of the local attorneys are bed with women from 14 to 86 years old. The CLEAN-SHAVEN COCK afraid of Parrish. It's pathetic that such a man as hardest fucking and the sweetest pussy I have I read with interest "Hairless in Austin 's" letter this can hold an important office and at the same ever had has been from women 40 to 86 years in your July 1976Feedback about his shaving his time have morals lower than most who are old. Pussy and women mellow with age. I hope crotch. For the last six months, I haven't stopped prosecuted by him. I don't believe the people of you print some of the old sisters so I can cut them this country want his Gestapo ways. out and keep them. In the Memphis Press -Scimitar, Parrish made H. Smith a statement (or was it a threat?) to the effect that New York, New York "something" must be done about "that maga- zine " (HUSTLER). I hope you had the oppor- tunity to read the article. Will you take your stand I've been ogling and reading HUSTLER for against such a threat? months and haven 't seen a bit of horny verse in it Vincent Doss yet. Poetry lovers read HUSTLER, too, you know. Leavenworth, Kansas I'm 71 years old, and here's one I composed myself. I hope you like it. We agree that justice suffers in Memphis, An Old Geezer's Prayer especially after State Appeals Judge Charles When myoid pecker dies, Galbreath was censured by his colleagues be- I want to die, too cause he had the balls to take a stand in favor With hopes that my reincarnation of erotic entertainment. It seems a lot of people in Will give me a cock Memphis are afraid of Parrish, but we're ready to That will never go soft take the asshole on anytime he wants to start Till I've fucked every cunt in the nation. something. A. Stephenson -Larry Flynt Johnstown, Pennsylvania with just shaving my face-I go right on down to the floor. Arms, legs, chest, the works. I am You really put together a good July 1976 issue, I have been a reader of HUSTLER for over a thinking about shaving my head, too. If so, I will one of the best yet. I am writing this letter in year now, and I have enjoyed every issue. have a wig made with my hair. regard to the "Asshole of the Month" feature. You However, your back-cover ads reveal that you I have had this peter ring for three and a half picked a perfect asshole. This so-called federal have a fixation against smoking. It is apparent years. I also have a pierced left tit. From your Bits prosecutor, Larry Parrish, should either reeval- that you approve of other "vices." & Pieces photos, it looks like my kinky tastes are uate the situation or his morals. This man is in fact Do you worry about the dose of clap that you finally catching on and are being recognized . a serious threat to the freedoms of speech and might pick up from your next fuck, or the Enclosed are some pictures that you can individual choice. If you are a thief, murderer or damaging effects that grass might have? Fuck publish if you like. mugger, you are protected by the law in this no! Of the many things that can harm us, why "Hairless U.S.A. " country. But if you show a little bare skin, you 're in single out cigarette smoking? Address Withheld by Request all kinds of trouble. They call this a democracy. I We were put here to live, not just to exist. If I'm say bullshit! going to exist for a few more years simply It sounds like you do your own thinking, all right, If Parrish wants to indict somebody on a morals because I don't have any vices, then it's not worth but why shave your head just to make a wig out of charge, then he should pay a visit to Capitol Hill. it. If I haven't done what I set out to do by the time your own hair? That seems like cutting off your He may just find a few congressmen ripping off I'm 50, I might as well hang it up. cock and then using it for a dildo. the American taxpayers by employing their If I have my way, I'll be dead in bed with a girl on mistresses as secretaries. one side of me and a cigarette and a bottle on the As long as HUSTLER magazine is being other. I prefer this to being a codger existing on a THE COMING REVOLUTION published and X-rated movies are being made, I pittance from the government. But I'll probably I have never written to any magazine in my will patronize them. just shrivel up and die-alone. No one gives a shit life, but when I read the Publisher's Statement Ralph F. Hoffman about an old man. ("Happy Birthday, America") in your July 1976 Circleville, Ohio A.R. issue, I felt it was my duty to respond. I commend Red Bank, New Jersey Mr. Flynt on this fantastic editorial. I agree fully with every1hing he said in the statement. The We don't approve of anything that can be harmful reading was both very inspirational and very TWO GEEZERS AND A GOOSE in excess. Most people can stop drinking after enjoyable. I'm so happy to find someone who will glorify one or two, but Cigarettes are a life-taking Right on! to Mr. Flynt and the entire HUSTLER the middle-aged and elderly woman as you addiction. And clap is your problem. Many men magazine staff! As for the rest of the issue: as proposed to do in your July 1976 Bits & Pieces share your dream of the perfect way to die, and usual, out-fuckin'-standing. Continue the great ("Oldie-But-Goodie Cunt Hunt Begins"). I have most never accomplish it. If you don't live past 50, work with much suck-cess. it seems to us you'll be missing a lot, if the two James H. Matthews letters before yours are any indication. Sgt., USMC Treasure Island, California NATLAMB POONTANG We were sitting around at Elaine's looking through a copy of your magazine when Doug Larry Flynt's defense of capitalism in the July Kenney recognized several of his close female 1976 Publisher's Statement ("Happy Birthday, relatives and a sort of adult toy that had floated America" ) gave the game away: a profiteer away from him one day at the beach. Well, we all selling mags at $1 .95, pretending he's against laughed our asses off at that, and then we called white-collar types (when all along he is one), up Chevy Chase to tell it to him. He wasn't home, selling people a piece of paper to jack off to in but later in the day some black guy came in and place of balling real women and then calling been glorifying them for more than 50 years. I we all autographed his cast. "revolutionary." HUSTLER's about as "revolu- love old and middle-aged women; I've been The National LambPool Editors tionary" as a new brand of toothpaste. It's the fucking them since I was 13 years old. I'm going and Hangers-On same old shuck: capitalism. To think capitalism is on 69, and I have never changed. I have been to New York, New York going to survive for another 100 or 200 years is 8 HUSTLER like expecting a 200-year-old man or woman to cliches about "sexual freedom, " "individual yourself some serious questions. If you faced the get horny again-they won't. rights" and all that crap that is overused in truth, I'm sure you'd discard the whole idea of Revolutionary communism is only a matter of defense of our "sexually liberated" (promiscu- smut-peddling. time, and then men and women workers will ous) society. This all sounds good, but I think the Michael K. Redman throw HUSTLER in the garbage can of history for results really speak for themselves. Quincy, Massachusetts good , where it belongs. Is capitalism great We have a considerably weaker society than because Larry Flynt got his? Only to Flynt. As for we did a generation ago. Our top sports figures You 're wrong. The "facts" you cited about England being "socialist," ask the workers there. and military persons are not nearly as strong modern American youth are false: New athletic Many will tell you they need a revolution for true either physically or mentally as they once were. records are being set constantly in every sports socialism to come to pass. You don't fight for Our youth, who will one day inherit the respon- category. The young men and women in our what you 've already got. Flynt wouldn 't know a sibility for preserving this nation, are the ones armed forces are in the best health, are better revolutionary if one came up and kicked him in who are indeed most affected by the current educated and better trained than ever before. the ass. flood of smut and sex-related material. And because of a free and open attitude toward Gregory Gibbs A few generations back, it was a constant sex they are better adjusted and more comfort- Minneapolis, Minnesota struggle for a young man to remain continent: to ab'le with themselves than any previous genera- abstain altogether from any improper sexual tion of Americans. Your portrayal of today's youth Every system has its faults, and capitalism is no activity or contact. These values were taught in as becoming "mindless, groveling animals" is an exception. If you watch the pages of HUSTLER, the schools, homes and expounded upon in insult to them. you will see that we attack the deficiencies of numerous publications of the times, both secular Doctors and psychiatrists tell us that sexual capitalism whenever we see them. Succeeding and religious. As a result, we had a much activity, including masturbation, is not physically under a particular system is more realistic than stronger, more stable society: Men were men , or mentally harmful-in fact, they say that sex is blaping it for your own failure and sitting around and women were ladies. Today's youth are fast essential to good mental and physical health. pulling your pud, waiting for "the Revolution." descending to the level of mindless, groveling Repression of natural sexual desires causes We give you 60 good women every year to jack animals, and I daresay that HUSTLER, Larry mental and physical instability. off with. We bet that's 60 times the number of Flynt, Althea Leasure and others share part of the Your nostalgia for the good old days when women you ball a year. brame. "men were men and women were ladies" is - Larry Flynt Have you ever read world history? You will see common to people who cannot accept the that all the great nations of the Old World built present and reconcile themselves to it. You're their heritage on sexual abstinence, which leads using all the wrong terms. These are the '70s, ANTISMOKING LEGION to strength, both physically and mentally. When when people are people. People who are living in The Kankakee Valley American Legion Post they took the lid off sexual morality, all the people the present instead of in the past are awakening Cancer Fund raffle did very well. We sold more got weaker and the nations fell from within. to their full human potential, emotionally, physi- than $1000 worth of tickets, with half of the A person in your position as the editor and cally and mentally. Repression of this potential is money going to the American Cancer Society. publisher of a national magazine has a great what destroys societies. If you can't handle it, . I credit many of these sales to HUSTLER's responsibility. You can either make or break a why not subscribe to Reader's Digest and leave antismoking posters. We received many com- nation, particularly its youth. If you really feel that HUSTLER alone? you want ·to {jo this country a service, I think you - Larry Flynt had better do some real soul-searching and ask ments on them, and there were a whole lot of cigarettes stubbed out at our stand. Enclosed you will find a picture taken at the Indiana Veterans Home. We are going to run the same kind of raffle for the local Lions Club, again with half of the proceeds going to the American Cancer Society. I'd like to thank you very much for the posters. They were a great help. John R. Cramer Shelby, Indiana SERMON ON MOUNTING Our country is at present being deluged in a tidal wave of promiscuous sex, much of which is sanctioned and encouraged by publications like HUSTLER. True, much of the advice and di- rection given in sex-oriented columns is sound and right, but when such things as premarital sex, masturbation (self-pollution), extramarital sex, etc., are discussed as though there is nothing wrong with them, I begin to question the integrity and intention of the author. " ... and bring a plate of shit for this dog I'm with. " I'm weary of the same tired rhetoric and OCTOBER 9 Advise Be Consent Dr. Richard Morhead of The Hermes Founda- on my side. I really do believe that with an artificial to do. The only way I feel real excitement is when tion, a nonprofit medical association that Is limb I could walk much better than with this built- I masturbate and concentrate heavily on my first dedicated to supplying health Information, up shoe. love. If I fantasize having sex with him, I can get makes a HUSTLER housecall each month In My boyfriend thought I should ask for your really high . Using this fantasy while having sex this column to provide you with accurate opinion. I sure would appreciate getting your with my husband can be dangerous since I'm Information concerning any sexual problem version, as I feel that I want to go through with afraid I might call out my first lover's name. My and answers to your questions on fetishes, hang-ups and all aspects of human sexuality. the amputation. husband is extremely jealous of him as it is. Can If you have a question or personal problem, "The One-Sided Girl " you figure out a solution? write to HUSTLER, AdvIse & Consent, 40 Tulsa, Oklahoma Name and Address West Gay Street, Columbus, Ohio 43215. Withheld by Request Although personal responses are not pos- You obviously have given a lot of thought to sible, Dr. Morhead will answer as many letters your situation. I would generally advise against Nearly 50 percent of all women have difficulty as space allows. All publications mentioned irreversible decisions if they can be avoided, but getting off during intercourse sometime in their In AdvIse & Consent are available from The lives. you may be correct in this case. Try consulting Hermes Foundation, Box 3737, Rincon An- one more orthopedist, preferably at a medical Female orgasmic difficulties are often treated nex, San Francisco, California 94101. school. successfully by reputable sex therapists. If you I am 22 years of age, and I am very petite. I If you're still determined to go ahead with don't know how to find one, ask your doctor stand barely four feet. nine inches in height. I the operation, a below-knee amputation would or call the nearest medical school. Traditional have a good figure, considering, and my weight is probably be best. Even though one knee is higher psychiatry doesn't help mUCh, and you should just 84 pounds. I am not considered a dwarf, but than the other, the length of the artificial leg will be also beware of sickies who just get it on with due to some freak of nature I was born with no left adjusted so that both your legs will be the same. A their patients and call it sex therapy. arm. and my left leg is half the length of my normal flexible, natural knee joint allows for a more Fantasies about someone other than the man right leg. When they said I was finished growing , normal gait than an artificial leg that swings from you're fucking are ordinarily nothing to worry about three years ago, my left leg was 11 inches the hip. Don 't have an above-knee amputation about, but I understand your concern about shorter than it should have been. in preference to below-knee surgery just for blurting out your ex-lover's name while in your Lately I have been considering having my left cosmetic reasons. husband's arms. Instead of thinking of your ex- leg amputated above the knee. I say above the lover, why not imagine some other person or knee because my left knee is much higher than situation that makes your quim quiver? A writer my right knee. I have talked this over with my I am 25 and have been married for a year named Nancy Friday collected many female parents, and their answer is that it is entirely up to to a wonderful guy whom I love, but I have a fantasies for a book called My Secret Garden. me. I have talked to two different surgeons. One strange problem. I can't seem to get off during Read through it. You'll be sure to find some advised against it, the other was all for it. But the sex, and we've tried everything except those fantasies that turn you on. surgeons said it was all up to me. My boyfriend is positions that were physically impossible for me Don 't feel shy about touching yourself when you're with a lover. Few men can help but get excited when they're with a woman who's mas- turbating herself. Is it unusual for a woman to get horny only on her period? 1Ru,I(6R6: Name and Address Withheld by Request /)() Nor -tHRoW MII7l;HEt:; A lot of women find they're aroused most while on the rag. The reason isn't really clear. One theory IIV TilE {OMMOU! is that some women enjoy sex most when the rilE! CRABS chances of pregnancy are minimal (but some women can get pregnant during their periods, so W,lL LEARN To watch out). ?DLe VAuLTII Another idea is that they become turned on near their periods because of changes in blood hormone levels. It could be that menstruation makes them more aware of their womanhood. One female friend said the answer is simple: more moisture, more thoughts of sex. Whatever the reason, a lot of women like to get it on most while they're bleeding. And why not? There 's no health hazard or other harmful effects. Fresh menstrual blood is odorless and nearly tasteless. I made this discovery accidentally. I was eating a particularly responsive pussy one night in a darkened room . I had a great time licking away, and judging by the lady's moans, she ' was getting off on it, too. Following this session of oral stimulation, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Glancing into the mirror, I (continued on page 110) 10 HUSTLER EXPRESS ORDERING ... 24-hour daily toll-free service-Order now by calling our pleasant operators at 1-800- o JUL '74 MAR '75 0 0 MAR '76 848-9107 . (In Ohio, call: 1-800-282-9216.) o AUG '74 AUG '75 ($5) 0 APR '76 0 L•• oure TI .... Producl8 P. 0 , Box 2206 Columbul, Ohio 43216 o SEP '74 0 SEP '75 0 MAY '76 PLEASE PR INT o OCT '74 0 OCT '75 0 JUN '76 :.:N::!a:,::m:::, e _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _---=D:.;a::;,te::.-_ _ _ ' 076 o NOV '74 0 NOV '75 0 JUL '76 o DEC '74 0 DEC '75 0 AUG '76 Add ress o JAN '75 0 JAN '76 0 SEPT '76 o FEB '75 0 FEB '76 City State Zip I have checked _ _ _ issues at $2.25 each. Enclosed is my 0 Check 0 Money Order (Cash not accepled)Or.c hargelomy 0 SA 0 MC totaling $ _ _ __ I ,LrL lo I I I I I I I I LL.I I I I I Mo Year and _ _ Aug. '75 (Jackie O. Nude Photos Issue) al $5 each lolaling $_ _ __ Money order and credit card purchases will be shipped in 5 working days or less. All orders are disc reetly packed and promptly delivered . ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH Nathan Rosenberg is a hard - If th is is true, Everett is to working family man who oper- the rest of the country what ates a variety store in Everett, bleeding chancres are to the Massachusetts, . three miles Avon lady. north of Boston. Mostly he sells We attribute the' judge's es- groceries-milk and eggs- timation of HUSTLER to his but Rosenberg also sells own unique level of sexual HUSTLER and other maga- awareness: "Hard-core sexual zines from a rack behind his pornography (sic) , totally ob- counter, out of the reach of scene, prurient, salacious, youngsters . Nevertheless , perverted, filthy, and full of What Glaser likes is what you 'd kicked the old ass hole right Malden District Court Judge unscrubbable dirt." It sounds better like, if you live in Everett . between the cheeks when he Lou is H. Glaser has found Mr. to us like the aftermath of a Probably the only remedy for called the proceedings in Rosenberg guilty of dissem - bad case of terminal chastity. th is sorry state of affairs would Glaser's courtroom "persecu - inating obscene material and Glaser, who might have been be to get Judge Glaser laid tion rather than prosecution. " fined the businessman, a at home torching witches , is a or spanked or whatever it is Rosenberg will appeal his case respected . merchant of 25 counterrevolutionary who is 15 apostles of morality do to get to Middlesex Superior Court. " I years' standing, $2000 for years late for the sexual revo - their judicial nuts off. So far, couldn 't live with myself if I selling HUSTLER and $500 for lution . Lucky for the rest of there have been no volunteers didn't take it to a higher court," sell ing Penthouse . us we started without him. If it to take on the job. he says . . Either Glaser is not in touch were up to His Honor, we might Nathan Rosenberg's attor- It's a damn shame that with the contemporary stan- all think " butt-fucking " was a ney has plaintively mentioned Rosenberg is being forced to dards of his community, or a carnal act performed with a the fact that First Amendment fight a misdirected judicial hell of a lot of people are driv- cigarette stub. rights are really at issue in vig ilante like Glaser for no ing in from out of town to buy And as to Glaser's firsthand this case. Judge Glaser for - other purpose than to secure a copy of our magazine in knowledge of sex, the less said bade the defense to continue the rights guaranteed all of us Everett. In any case , it looks the better. Male menopause with this line of argument. From by the U. S. Constitution. In a as if Glaser's one-man purity affects different people in the bench, Glaser called any- sense, we should be grateful to crusade is based upon the different ways. As most of us one who would dare to sell sweaty little men like Glaser. prem ise that his own opinion have learned from our mothers, HUSTLER "warped and per- You don't know what freedom is somehow more legitimate all that you can do about verted " and threatened Rosen - is really worth until some than those of the hundreds of menopause is humor it. In this berg with a jail sentence. asshole tries to take it away HUSTLER readers in the area. case , it's going to be tough. Poor Nathan Rosenberg. He from you. THE CHILD SNATCH If you come, I won 'l shoal! Open wide or ii's your ass! You've gal Ihis coming, kid! Now you swallow every drop! 12 HUSTLER OCTOBER 13 UNSQUARE DEALER Dealer is the new magazine for the manufacturers and retail- ers of pot "paraphernalia": pipes, papers, roach clips and related instruments of mari- juana smoking and stashing as well as the sort of records, clothing and novelty items associated the soft -core drug scene. Dealer (Box 919 Madison Square Station, New York, NY 10010-$15 per year) aims to cover the $200- million-a-year paraphernalia industry as completely as its controversial sister publica- tion , High Times , reports on the dope-toking subculture that that industry services. Unlike High Times , which is geared to consumers of the demon weed (High Times regularly turns its readers on with a centerfold, just as HUSTLER does-except their centerspread is of premium grass rather than HUSTLER- styte premium ass), Dealer is designed strictty for folks in the paraphernalia trade. They neither solicit nor particularly want readers from outside the industry, as reflected in the fact that the magazine is sold only through subscription and by paraphernalia wholesalers to retailers. L'MIT ONE PER CUS!OM£R the industry-house- organ nature of Dealer, non- HEINZ insiders will get off on seeing PORN 'N BEI\NS the latest developments in 4/79 t¥. dope-smoking equipment-as well as the braless, teeny- bopper models-in Dealer's ads. The dewy-eyed space Can LISTEO queens posing with pipes and GOOD AT AUG . 11 . u1S T-shirts look ready to drop to c.OUPOMEJC.PI their knees and give you a memorable knob-job for just a few whispered words- and perhaps a Qu8iilude or two. 14 HUSTLER PUTTING ON THE DOG The "Happy News" hot dogs the whole story was a put-on, of ABC-TV's flagship Channel both Midnight Blue and ABC Seven in New York City got Eyewitness News were equally royally suckered recently when red-faced to have been so they broadcast a serious report comptetely flimflammed. The concerning a phony canine producers of Midnight Blue whorehouse for horny dogs in owned up to their gullibility the Big Apple. After Manhat- with sheepish "We-been-had" tan 's soft-core cable TV show, grins, but ABC declined to Midnight Blue, had interviewed comment on the shaggy dog doggy "whoremaster" Joey stO/)'. A public relations flack Skaggs (a widely known New at Chennel Seven sniffed, York artist and prankster) in the "Eyewitness News would not midst of his bogus "cathouse want to be placed in the MARILYN MONROE'S for dogs," ABC's Eyewitness same category Midnight News apparently smetled a Blue" -which seems rather SKIN FLICK scoop instead of a pile of unsporting of ABC, consider- Rumors have been circulating shots in the film show Marilyn dogsM and leaped on the sto- ing they apparently picked up for over 20 years that Marilyn lying on her belly, dangling ry looking_Eyewitness the story from Blue in the first Monroe performed in an un- one upraised foot over her in- News even brought a veteri- place. The whole incident just derground porno film in the credibly pert and inviting ass. nary expert on their show who goes to show that folks in the days before she became a 'The shots of Marilyn's large, raited that the doggy bordello raunch scene can take a good movie goddess. HUSTLER has firm and shapely tits will con- was nothing more than "cruelty joke on themselves-and the located prints of the film in firm even the most wildly op- to animafs." poor asshotes who work in the question , and we 're prepared timistic fantasies you 've had When Skaggs revealed that "straight" media can't. to state that the girl in the movie while mentally undressing her IJi. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -c;l, is either the teenage Marilyn in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Monroe or a Marilyn look-alike or the Seven Year Itch and who really makes Misty Roe- jacking off into your popcorn the actress portraying Monroe box. The mingling of childish in the recently released, soft- innocence and womanly sen- core biographical film , Norma suality that animates her face Jean-look more like Golda as she suggestively sips from a Meir than the legendary sex Coke bottle shows why Mari- symbol. lyn Monroe has symbolized sex As modern porno films go, for two generations of movie Marilyn's skin flick is pretty fans. tame. She lolls around on the The "Marilyn" skin flick is floor bare-breasted, rolling an available in both regular 8mm apple between her boobs, and and super 8mm from Diverse inches her high-waisted pan- Industries, Inc., 7651 Haskell down to the top of her pu- Avenue, Van Nuys, California bic patch. The only totally nude 91406. OCTOBER 15 WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL 'EM "BLUES"? Fans of "down and dirty" blues evoke an era when seminally music will enjoy Please Warm hip blues musicians knew and My We iner, You Can 'I Gel sang about the real essentials Enough of Thai Sluff and of life: drinking, fucking and (especially) Copula/in' Blues- cheap thrills. three record albums that are Despite the fact that these rerecordings of raunchy blues "dirty blues" were recorded 40 ditties from the '20s and '30s. or 50 years ago, their "let the These aged, tinny-sounding good times roll" message is still renditions by such original relevant today. After hearing black blues singers as. Jelly such after-hours favorites as Roll Morton (singing "Winin' "You Put It in, I'll Take It Out," Boy": " I took that bitch out on "Get Off with Me" and "I'll Keep Siltin' on It, If I Can't Sell It," the modern-day listener ex- periences an overpowering urge to go out and hunt up a late, loud and orgiastic party - or even to start one. Copula lin' Blues (#ST -101) is available from Stash Rec- ords, P. O. Box 252, Tenafly, N.J. 07670. You Can'l Gel Enough of Thai Sluff (#1051) and Please Warm My Weiner the stump ... I fucked her 'til her (#L-1043) are both available pussy stunk .... ") and Bessie from Yazoo Records, Inc., 245 Jackson (singing "Shave 'Em Waverly Place, N.Y., N.Y. Dry": "I got nipples on my titties 10014. We don't know the lak the end of my thumb, I got prices of these albums, but if somethin' 'tween my legs'li you're interested, write to them make a dead man come ... ' and ask. NEW SLANT ON keep us safe [we presume he means the cops, not the dolls], LOVE DOLLS and the least we can do in The border cops stationed in return is to provide them with the boondocks of Thailand to a little amusement." intercept Communist troops The official said the dolls, lead a lonely life bereft of which are washable and could women. Worried about the be used in three orifices at mental health of these fuckless once, would each be shared policemen, higher-ups in the among ten officers. Unfortu- department decided to send nately the fierce controversy plastic Japanese love dolls to generated by the announce- the jungle outposts in an at- ment of the love doll program tempt to keep their men from resulted in a public outcry from buggering POWs, abusing wild the prudes and a change of animals and fucking over the policy. The border police won't ecology. be receiving the dolls after all. " It isn't funny," says a police We venture the patrolmen have official severely. ''They're out a good reason to feel really there sacrificing their lives to Japped out. OCTOBER 17 THE SAME OLD SHIT IN A NEW POT If you 've seen Gallery, H'gh seem to have had their names Cashing In on HUSTLER's Soc,ely, Genes,s or Swank, on the masthead of every limp success, they try to give you you 've seen Cheri, Chen IS lust dick men's magazine churned the cunt with no editorial com - the most recent attempt to ' out In the Big Apple They're up mitment Here at HUSTLER, snare your hard-earned hard- there Jacking each other off sexual expliCitness IS a natural on dollar by those clowns In and jacking you around: the by-product of our honesty With that traveling CirCUS of New same old shit from the same the readers and not explOita- York sexploltallon hacks who I tion of a consumer caught With his guard down when he's horny. We don't mind com - petition, but we want the best there is-not this weak shit If you think you get more for your money from any other publication , tell us about It. We're willing to stand toe to toe, brain to brain and hard-on to hard-on and duke it out With t8 HUSTLER • ••• • , ....... ,.. (1. • .41 1U1,!J /14k' . II D E.,I1R D/ ,q"lv, ONLY ON" -THING- To RePoRT /60-""1-' _ THE 7RouBL.G BETWEEN HAROLO .J?/\/b ME: F //v"'lLLV C.I?/I1E To 4 H£/lO ... . " 19 by T uppy Owens their chin and breasts, places We Englishmen (and women) that seem "less offensive" to are so jealous of you American these girls for some reason. It's Hustlers who can see cunls in HUSTLER Invites you, the reader, to travel with us through the exciting , silly. Personally, I can think of your magazines-or at least In erotic realm of human sexual pleasures. For tar too long 8 time, Ihese only one other place I'd rather HUSTLER. Here in England the pleasures have remained hidden behind the doors of fear, Ignorance, feel the thlust of a hearty erec- officials are stingy' We are Inexperience and hypocrllY In the guise of respectability. This series, tion than in my mouth. allowed hairY bulges but no the seventeenth part of which Is presented below, ls prepared especially The paint is that a cunt is pink. We can just imagine you tor HUSTLER . It Is designed to help the Hustler give his woman 1herare inside. or '''round the corner," sitting there, happily leafing sexual excitement and satisfaction In sexual relations that make every so to speak. The pubiC bone through HUSTLER, your eyes experience an Important one and keep her asking for more. It should keeps a girl from seeing what help you and your lover reach greater heights than either of you had lingering on the stunning pink you are doing to her cunt, and thought possible. And It will make you , Hustler, better equipped than patches on so many of the ever to turn her on . since things aren't quite so out pages, your minds fantasizing in the open as they are on you, the feel, smell and the Yield of it's harder for her to direct your each invlling pussy, your stiff education to the most effective cocks hungry for the real thing. methods of manual stimula- We girls are very pleased tion. In addition, sexual fore- about this trend:The more men play initiated without knowl- focus their attention on cunts, edge or self-confidence may the better time we'll have. cause her cunt to go dry and Strangely, there are very few tighten up, making the whole articles that specifically deal lesson twice as difficull. with cunts In men's magazines. One of the best ways to learn They cover cars, films, books, is to watch a girl masturbate. pretty girls and their careers, Then let her use your fingers felishes and unusual sexual to do the job. In this way you habits and practices, politics will learn the basic principles, and even suggestively formed which you can adapt to each vegetables, but they skirt the individual cunt. We all vary so topic of cunts as if some big much. However, many girls will secret were involved. Perhaps not be willing to help you out they feellhe subject is unman- this way, even though they 'd ly. Nothing could be further love you to understand their from the trulh. Many men love cunts better. Girls often think to eat and suck cunts, and they that their cunts are nasty or know that everyone they come ugly, and they may be em- across is different. And every barrassed by any attention too real man loves to have his prick avidly directed at that lovely swallowed by a wet pussy. One spaCe between their legs. stumbling block that may be Here's a chance for you to the basis of some men's fear of learn together. Sitling between women and sexual insecurity her upraised thighs, tell her is that they really don't under- stand how to cope with cunts- how to fondle them with their CEMS ON CUNT beautiful you think her cun t is. Describe the way it looks and how it changes as fingers and hold them in their hands, how to away with fobbing him off with unsatisfying you touch it under her direction. You might jigger them to excited juiciness and work treatments and some miscellaneous ran- even use a small mirror placed so that she them up to orgasm. It's easier for girls to dom movements. I know that there are can see what you see. If she loves her cunt learn how to handle cocks because the some girls who, in darkened rooms and as much as you do, you'll probably both get penis is large and easy to observe. It gets hiding underneath shirttails, only pretend to more satisfaction from fUCking and all re- hard when you do it right and soft when put a cock in their mouths. After coating the lated contact sports. you do it wrong. One of the fascinations of stiff member with saliva (or worse, oil), they In New York, Betty Dodson has been playing with cocks is feeling them stiffen go to great lengths to contort themselves so campaigning among women for some and relax as one teases that the guy can't quite see that the mouth lime to make them proud of their cunts aecause cocks are so big. a man can and nose are pointed away from (in their and to encourage them to enjoy them look down his body and watch what the girl words) "the horrid thing." Then the penis is more in masturbation. She's written a very is dOing to hiS organ. It's hard for her to get rubbed between their wrists or between good book called Liberating Masturbation 20 HUSTLER (this publication is available from Bodysex rubbed round and round against the pubic Designs, 121 Madison Avenue, New York, Men don't bone. My cunt gets excited and the juices New York 10016) that might interest you, mostly for the extremely clear and easy- understand flow, the tissues swell and engorge with blood, and the whole area feels like hot to-understand drawings of the various shapes and appearances of cunts. For how to cope smoldering jelly with a firm little knob (the clitoris) in the middle. some reason, she limits her discussion of with cunts, Nipples are similar. Once a girl is hot, cunt-handling to two out of the 60 pages of the book. She simply says a few words how to fond Ie the breasts simply ache to be fondled . Sometimes a tender fingering feels mind- on the various methods of masturbatioo. including pressing thighs together (the them and hold bending. At others, it's imperative to have the entire breast manhandled and rolled upper thighs are one part of the female them in their in circles around on the chest, nipples anatomy usually ignored by men, but they are extremely excitable), stimulating the hands. pinched, pulled, twisted and pressed back and forth over the tit. vulva with fast-flowing water, using a hand determined by the movement, pressure What must be confusing for men is that or vibrator and various combinations of and direction of one single finger. Women what may feel dreadfut to the girt at the these methods. I doubt that a man will normally learn to reach orgasm one way onset of sex may feet absolutely incred- actually learn to get a girt off by reading and stick to that particular method for the ible later on when she is aroused. Also, this book, but he will discover much about duration of their lives. It's up to men to she alters physically. The cunt changes women 's sexual mentality, and as I said, fondle them out of their rut, to make them its shape and the nipples swell. Some of he'll see some great illustrations of cunts. climax upside down and back to front, you think that cold, shriveled nipples with Where can you read details about cunts from stimulation of not only the clitoris but hard little paints are in a state of excite- and their sexual responsiveness? Many of the nipple, ass and earlobe as well. ment. Rubbish' An excited nipple has a pornographers appear to be unable to Since this article deals with the cunt, I'll swollen areola and is engorged and soft. offer any really adequate descriptions . In begin with the clitoris and try to limit my As you all know, girls can keep coming some books , women have even been brief discussion to the vaginal area- and coming . Some men find this tiring, inaccurately credited with the ability to depending on how excited I become. even tiresome, and spread rumors that the shoot cum across the room . a concept Although orgasm stems from the clitoris, female race is greedy, never satisfied, that many of you men seem to lap up it's not the clit itsell that needs touching. demanding and obsessive. But how can simply because most of you associate The clitoris is just like the prick in terms of you really dislike a woman who's having climaxes with spurting. It takes real talent friction : It's the rubbing of the skin that orgasms? You men have so much power to put a sexually excited cunt into words, covers the organ that excites. In fact, the to control so much pleasure. Every few a talent limited to such great writers as vulva and the cock are very similar. To minutes, it takes only a gentle frig , a suck Henry Miller. For instance, here is his reach orgasm, both need to be pulled, or lick on the clitoris, a glancing brush of description of the cunt belonging to "the sucked, coated with juices and rubbed, the nipple, to send her rocketing off again girl upstairs" from his book, The Tropic of taken in the hand and jerked off. Men's into ecstasy. And when she comes down Capricorn : and women 's reactions to this treatment she'll be that much more devoted to you. are also basically the same: Thighs rise Tho; e little pink patches on the pages of It was an enormous Gun!, too , when I rhythmically, muscles tense and twitch, HUSTLER are not to be feared . They are think back on it. A dark, subterranean legs shift up and down and backs are what you 're after, and they are not to be labyrinth fitted up . with divans and arched. Many ecstatic reactions to fuck- slighted. cosy corners and rubber teeth and ing are avoided in pornography, possibly When a girl dresses every morning, she syringes and soft nettles and eider- because pornographers feel that they look decides how she'll clothe her cunt. I am down and mulberry leaves ... some- ungainly. As a result, too many girls are often tempted, especially on blind dates, times it was like riding the shoot-the- embarrassed to relax and move naturally to wear a skirt and no panties. I love the shoots, a steep plunge and then a in front of men. They're afraid that they 'll sensation of having a strange hand climb wet spray of tingling sea-crabs, the look funny, but natural is beautiful. up my legs. The momentary hesitation of bulrushes swaying feverishly and the I guess circular movements over and surprise is always enough in itself to gills of tiny fishes lapping against me around the clitoris are the most delicious, moisten my pussy, lubricating the way for like harmonica stops. In the immense but it's also fantastic to feel fingers run those fingers to plow straight inside. black grotto there was a silk-and - along the grooves between the big, and How far this is from love, tenderness soap organ playing a predaceous little lips of . the vagina, amazing to have and gentle affection! Yes, but cunts-like black music. the lips stretched out wide, arousing to cocks - seem to have minds of their own. have the whole vulva massaged from side They don't obey the codes of polite Have you explored the inside of women to side by sweeping hand movements SOCiety. Cunts are ruled by that most enough to understand hQW vivid that de- pulverizing the tissue. There should be no basic of instincts, the sexual drive. The scription is? hesitation or feeble fumbling . Remember impositions of modern society can often A woman 's Gunt is worth some in-depth those swift, sharp jerks that your cock make their lot a cruel one. A tender and exploration-both the hole and the tissues likes? Well, cunts want to be frigged thl! knowledgeable lover will always be amply surrounding it. It must be as satisfying for same way . rewarded in kind; knowing what you 're men as it is for women to know each tiny What I really miss from men is having doing is the best way to get on the right bit of anatomy so well, to be in such my vulva taken in the hand and hugged. It side of cunts. It's worth it, my darlings, control that the pitch of excitement is feels really wonderful to have it held and believe me. OCTOBER 21 star . .. mobbing him down front to stare at "It's a friend's phone." him ... touch him . .. and Anais Nin, who "Ah, of course." hugged and kissed him, said how great he "Shit, I've done seventy dollars at one was ... but it was her they'd come for ... she She stood time on friends' phones. I did fifty-five dol- was the main feature ... . Now, one crazy there oozing sex lars once." telephone call, he thought bitterly, out of all that mob. Still, that voice-resonant, low- with fresh· "You've got good friends," he said. "What happens when they find out?" pitched-hell, it was sexy . ... lipped, alluring "The date is on the bill. Eventually I've "What's your name, kid?" he asked, more sensuality. gotta pay up." gently. With no trace of delicacy, he pointed out "Mimi." that she couldn't afford to buy his books. He "Did we talk afterwards?" "I guess," she said, "your poetry isn't that was acutely sensitive on the subject. "Yeah. I was the one who thought that funny." "Well, right now I am broke," she said poem about red was funny." "You were the only one out of twenty-five evenly. She had a rich voice, the kind that "Oh? That is one of my most serious hundred people," he replied peevishly, comes from a rich family, he thought. A poems." He remembered the girl now-a "who thought it was." She had a sharp student in Berkeley, a gift for satire-that's smart-ass, irreverent bitch. "'A furious and tongue that succeeded in nettling him. all he knew about her. demoniacal chant.' That's what a famous "Oh, I think everything is funny," said Mimi must have run up about 20 bucks critic called it. Another said no better poem Mimi. by then. He wanted to get back to his job, could be found in any anthology of the past What the hell, she was only about 16, he a combination of looking at dirty pictures, decade. In fact, it wasn't found in any," he thought, why not just roll with the punches. masturbating and editing a manuscript of added, with undisguised bitterness. She seemed to enjoy one-upmanship. his poems (which always involved heavy She was laughing. Callous, he thought, But in spite of her palaver, she had an rewriting) for submission to a New York my luck. irresistible charm that even came across at publisher. Whenever he got into his work, he "Listen," he snapped irritably, "why the their first, brief, hazy encounter, an incipient found the energy level so high that he had to hell did you think it was funny?" style of cool irreverence and elegance that jack off. I could do a lot worse, he thought "Well, I was sitting in the front row be- gave off an unmistakable aura of class. And lecherously, than playing with Mimi's cunt. cause I thought I'd be able to see you . But I with her striking, if boyish, good looks, he To begin with, he didn't want to seem eager, was so close that I could only see your could not fail to respond to her. Her superior especially since he was still not quite sure eyebrows waving over the stand. And the shit-eating grin had caught his attention what she was up to. She was probably the PA system kept sending out thousands of after the reading. A mob of young autograph type who only wanted a duel of wits, a game echoes, like a thousand people reading a seekers and gray-haired elderly matrons with a name. And besides, lifelong habits thousand poems. Besides, I was getting pressed eagerly in on him from all sides; being impossible to break, he did not banana peels all over the damn floor and the contest with Mimi, who'd been the first countenance interruptions, not even for sex everybody, and my feet were on the railing. I to get near him, had lasted for only a few (jacking off was an integral part of the had sat on the .banana before I got it out of distracted minutes. She had annoyed him creative process) when exercising his gift. my back pocket. I was munching on the immeasurably then as she did now. He did And she had phoned during work hours. squashed banana and you were talking of not like being put on, and he felt that, in spite So intense was his erotic frustration, the navel of the world and I got the banana of her youth, she was already adept at this however, that he was about to say, "Why on the hand of the guy next to me and .. .." dangerous American sport, so close to (and don't you come to San Francisco? I live Oh no! A groupie who calls him up to so indistinguishable from) being put down. downtown near the East Bay Bridge." babble about bananas? Never argue with All this at the very moment of his "triumph," Instead, in order to discipline himself, he karma. You can't do a fucking thing about it. as he perceived it, caused him to coldly told her rather abruptly that he had to His fate, he reflected, had always been to turn his back on her, making a display of resume his literary labors. She said she suffer fools-but not gladly. He knew also autographing some old copies of hard-to- would phone sometime. that he often ruined possible opportunities get books and giving his phone number to The minute he hung up he was sorry. because of a cynical, negative attitude and several nondescript individuals who re- Unable to resume his task, he had to now, out of desperation, he decided to pur- quested it. One of these was the tall, dirty- abandon it. He spent the rest of the night sue this game a bit further. ' haired boy with acne who stared at him trying not to think about her, but without "You know," he began slyly, "I thought shyly with dumb admiration, the one she success. Mimi's magic had worked, had you were a boy at first. I really did." met later hitching a ride. (Yet it was she and heated his blood. Fantasies of what should "A boyr' The throaty young voice came to not the reverent fans who contacted him:) have happened mingled in his brain with the a halt, shocked. He gloated to himself. She had stood there oozing sex with a hard-core porno pics scattered on the floor Then the voice resumed . "Well, I was fresh-lipped, alluring sensuality that had and on the night table beside the bed. He wearing my cowboy pants. And when I'm aroused him, accompanied by a nagging flicked the pages with impatient fingers- wearing my shitkickerS .. . well, I've been sensation that, if he were not careful, the pink, gleaming, wet pussies all over the slick taken once or twice for a boy." She had story of Lot and his daughters, with himself pages, in vivid color, gaping cunts, flaring recovered her aplomb quite fast. "By the in the title role, would be replayed-with a wide, moist, inviting, with soft, white thighs . way," she said, resuming her girlish, ban- Hollywood twist. And who cares if the and voluptuous tits, all there to grasp his tering tone, "did you see the two queens daughters had in fact started it? Hah, tell stiff, aching, throbbing cock. Mimi, come who came up to the stage at the end?" that to the judge. over! He was removing her cowboy pants "I don't remember seeing any queens," "Mimi, where are you calling from?" and shit kickers and wow! She had a pair of he said. "Maybe I mistook them for boys, "Berkeley," she answered. tits , and he wasted no time in shoving too. Ha-ha." "That's quite a bill you're running up." (continued on page 92) 30 HUSTLER lihk as a lliby8 Butt You may have seen Lindsay Freeman portrayed as Baby Breese, a 12-Year-old nymphet from a British hamlet, in a Penthouse pictorial. You may even have been duped into playing their contest to guess her age after they fooled you into thinking she was just an "itsy-bitsy" thing. We found Lindsay in Wales and To beat it all, the snot-nosed little asshole, where there's plenty of pink brought her here for a photo shooting. cunt originally agreed to give us the for everybody. We hate to disillusion you, but Guc- standard HUSlLEP. pink shots but then 'Yaseline" Guccione tryS to slide by cione has been reaming your im- refused to open up for the camera with a lot, and he's just putting it up his agination with an underdeveloped once she got here. Although we readers' collective ass with this kind of 20-year-old, born February 1, 1956, couldn't give you even a glance at her bullshit. Here at HUSlLEI\ we are often and, as you can see, this nymphet's shopwom pussy, our photographer, accused of gut-punching, but we're bum hole seems to have gone through Amy Freytag, was clever enough to honest about it-and we have the more than vigorous pony training. capture on film Lindsay's gaping balls to give it to you straight. ..-rLIIR's Alllencan EPA ... FI'..... Fort. . . . . Illustrated by Michael Jupp I was in a mild state of shock as Bruce assignment-make that a wet-dream as- behave after you come that determines David, the Managing Editor of HUSTLER, signment. Within a week, the details were your "goodness." spelled out the details of a possible ironed out, an open booking ticket was Hookers are an antidote for women who assignment: an all-expense-paid tour of waiting for me at LaG'4ardia Airport, and a use their cunts as weapons , who sit back. eight American cities to investigate the check for expense had arrived in the and expect you to perform , eat fire and state of the massage-parlor nation. Now mail. The Rubdown Express was on its way. prove that you have power before they ball wait a minute, thought I. Is this solid c itizen I've always been fasc inated by whores. you . Whether lonely, lewd, hundred-dollar that HUSTLER is willing to pay me to Love, marriage and divorce are transitory call girls or doorway denizens, they cater and sucked from sea to shining predicaments, but hookers are immutable: to lust- theirs and yours . I consider for a few choice words on how They are always there, and they are always hookers, even the most man- available. I never tire of walking down Lex- hating, stupid , brutal , degraded ington Avenue in New York City to spot an and ugly ones, somehow appetizing hooker, knowing that she is special and sacred . immediately available to me-no dinners With my attitudes, it's necessary, no rituals wherein she can not surprising that assuage her conscience by determining at one time p that you are a " good person. " For her, any owner of a man with a stiff prick is OK. It's the way you parlor. My partner supplied the money. I the final say about what's available in a There were places with names like "Bobby supplied the mind of a deviate. It only last- massage parlor, and these vary from place Jo's Flaming Den Health Salon of Virginia." ed about a year because of our business to place-as I was soon to find out. I was about to close my eyes and pick one incompetence, and only our masseuses at random when a name struck me: "The made money, sometimes more in one day Godfather-we'll make you an offer you than we made a week. I was the only pimp in WASHINGTON, D.C. can 't refuse." My ethnic heritage decided town who drove a Toyota. At the time, I this must be the place reasoned, "What is money compared to an The Godfather, a five-minute cab ride endless sea of pussy?" from the airport, as promised, was nestled in Between falling in love with the girls and a relatively new, one-story shopping center. fucking myself silly, I was able to observe It was a dimly lit place with full-length wall the various factors that have contributed to mirrors and imitation leather couches. On the "parlor phenomenon ." Basically, it's the one wall hung a menu of possibilities, quality of the girls. Massage parlors fre- starting with a ten-minute session for ten quently set up a more relaxed and dignified dollars. Arrive with an erection for that one atmosphere than a straight bordello. In because ten minutes tends t6 pass rather most areas, they are insulated in that they quickly in a massage room. are at least quasi legal, and there is a male I wandered around the waiting room "manager" present to handle unruly types. alone and was about to check behind the Moreover, many such places allow the couches when a door suddenly opened masseuse to set the limit for sex, or the and a tall, slim, attractive blonde wearing management sets the limit at hand-jobs or a "toothpick" smile and a floor-length head. This appeals to many women who are- negligee greeted me. She was in her mid- amenable to hooking but unwilling to free- The Capital: A spoked wheel deserted to 205 and , despite the plastered smile, wasn't lance or to work the cold whorehouse the blacks and the touristos. J checked into bad at all. I asked about the " mutual" on the scene. Consequently, sensitive, intelligent the Holiday Inn at National Airport, knowing menu for $45, and "Crystal" explained that and often extremely beautiful women work from experience that the local parlor scene it's a number wherein you massage her and in massage parlors: college students, ca- was centered in the Arlington, Virginia, area. she massages you . It sounded good, so off reer women, housewives, artists and non- There is no single formula for rooting out we went into a small, softly illuminated professionals who enjoy their work and are the massage scene. It varies from place to room . After she collected the money, she three-dimensional, real people. place. In D.C., it happens to be the Yellow disappeared for several minutes wh ile I Any man still breathing must admit there Pages. A city of abundance is Wash ington. undressed. is nothing unpleasant about a pair of hands There are exactly 51 parlors listed in the When she returned , she shed her nightie cruising along the body from erogenous directory. Afew are located in D.C., but the to display an appetizing body highlighted by zone to erogenous zone, especially when majority are in northern Virg inia. However, a fine ass . " I guess I'll massage you first," I the hands are attached to a masseuse who this smorgasbord has been whittled down said somewhat indecisively, and in a trice looks and acts as if she mightbe someone's recently by an anti-massage-parlor law she was up on the single-width massage girl next door. A decent massage not only passed in Falls Church , Virginia, requiring table, ass heavenward. The tuft of blonde feels good, it allows you more time to get all masseuses and masseurs to have a flax peeking through her perfect ass globes accustomed to the presence and the indi- thousand hours of "massage-related train- proved Crystal to be a n,atural blonde. I viduality of another person as opposed to a ing" at an approved school. The result found that massaging her was an awkward more impersonal fast fuck. True, anyone being that most Falls Church parlors have reversal of roles and heard myself throwing who goes to a massage parlor looking for been temporarily closed. Nevertheless, it is out lame conversational gambits: "Ah, have love and fulfillment is in trouble, but it still a boggling choice, and apparently the you been doing this long?" "Do you really doesn 't hurt to like the sex object who gets increased competition since I was here dig your work? " "Where are you from ?" you off. three years ago has driven the prices down. Crystal claimed to have come here This doesn't mean that every massage At that time, an hour's topless massage- from Sweden three years ago. This was parlor is a fantasy palace and that every with a hand-job thrown in-went for $60. doubtful since there wasn't a trace of an masseuse is a goddess of lust. Far from Today, the prices are more or less stan- accent in her voice. Maybe she meant it. Many places allude to, and promise, dardized: a topless at $25, a nude at $35, an Sweden, Iowa. Eventually, Crystal turned wonderful acts-natural arid unnatural- inspired innovation called the "mutual" at over on the table, and I continued my taking place within their confines. Syrupy $45 and an hour with two girls from $60 ministrations over her breasts and thighs, telephone voices (often prerecorded) try to up depending on embellishments-cham- occasionally dipping down to probe her lure you like sirens, labeling their massages pagne, bubble baths and other elaborate labes, wh ich were delivering a modest in swingers' parlance. However, a " French silliness being available. There is also a amount of sap onto my fingers. I couldn't massage" is actually a rubdown with baby small out-service listing in the Yellow Pages help noticing that Crystal had a nice cunt, powder, ' and often the "lovely, sensual with prices starting around $50. and since I had been unimpeded so far, I masseuse" turns out to be a tired, hungry Eager to obtain the most for HUSTLER's decided to take the dive. Suddenly I heard a whore close to menopause who crawls into dollar, and my libido, I made about a dozen voice say, " I don't let everyone do this , you the room on her knuckles. As in anything phone calls in the line of duty. Soon it all know. " else, it is important to be selective, and began to sound like a litany-sultry voices, "Uhhh," I replied, peeking up through the usually the most crucial criterion is location. live and prerecorded, promising heaven pubic jungle to see a slight curl in that Contemporary community standards have and then some: " . .. See y'all soon , big boy." perpetual smile of hers. Then I remembered 38 HUSTLER that there was a time limit on this scene , and your services and rates?" trying to maintain both sides of a conversa- we exchanged places. She was a compe-· She: "Well, sir, we offer a half-hour ses- tion. Bystanders watched with indifference tent masseuse, and that turned my thinking sion with one of our lovely, bikini-clad mas- from a distance. A bright-colored Plymouth toward getting off. I knew that a hand-job seuses, who will massage away all your carrying two bearded young men wheeled was on the agenda, but I decided to vie forcares with precious mint oils, and that will around the corner. The attacker slid away, only cost thirty-five dollars." more. After I turned over, displaying a proud but the drunk uttered something incoherent. boner, I asked, "Is anything else available?" Me: "Is that a complete massage?" The bearded men leaped out of the car, "like what?" She: "Oh, no, sir, Atlanta law forbids us to cocking shot@uns that they waved at the "Some head? If it's a question of more touch your private parts, but you can do that bystanders while strutting around shouting money .. .?" I started to say. yourself if you like." cop threats like, "We'll be back in three "No, it:s not allowed here. I wouldn't do Gee, thanks. I'll say this though: Only a minutes!" A police cruiser pulled around the' that for money," she replied , managing toSouthern lady could make a deal like that corner, and the bearded men waved. sound almost sanctimonious. sound almost good. Almost. Undaunted, I entered a love-tussle joint, "Then how about for love?" I countered, In At lanta, the Yellow Pages are virtually only to be greeted by several beat-looking grabbing her closest hand and proferring auseless. Only four listings were of any gen- chicks and a man, ostensibly the manager, mock kiss. She wasn't amused, but she took uine promise, and unless you are a stone who was packing a .357 magnum on his my dick and began massaging it between exhibitionist, even those four are not very hip-just the thing to relax the clientele. I her tits. I just lay back and let it happen, reliable. A check of the local entertainment took a cab back to the Houston Bath House, which it did. She cleaned me up and handedguides rendered nothing. The only recourse where at least I would do the surprising. The me a towel, directing me to the sauna that I was to explore the downtown area. Unlike strawberry blonde leaped up as I entered. had requested earlier. many places its size and larger, Atlanta is a Business was still slow, and the other girls What with coming and the sauna, I re- true city-hip, sophisticated, with a cultural were sprawled about, cleaning their nails turned upstairs in a state of relaxation that life, good restaurants and a genuine urban and reading magazines. The room she led bordered on comatose. As a result, I inad- atmosphere that also manages to embody me into was clean, and "Martha" had a nice vertently opened the wrong door to find some of the finest aspects of Southern hos- body as well as a realistic, it dispaSSionate, Crystal stroking away on some young pitality. Unfortunately, they do not have working girl's attitude: "As long as you ain't citizen. "Excuse mel" I stammered. such a benign outlook toward things carnal. a cop," and "I've got two kids to support." I "Oh, that 's alt right," said Crystal , still Perhaps this is a surviving vestige of Baptist slipped her $40 for the session, and she smiling. The young guy, probably a local, Conservatism. There is also a heavy gun slipped me my first rubber in a long time. We just scratched his head. In my parlor ex- culture-as I was to find out. balled on a mattress to a series of Allman perience I've met many girls who derived a There are two "tenderloins" in Atlanta. Brothers' tunes seeping in tram next door. sense of detached control and even re- One is in the heart of the downtown area on The love-tussle parlors just don't make it. venge from jerking men off. Despite the fact Houston Street, a short two-block stretch Although it is possible to get off in these that she let me go down on her, I believe containing peep shows, porno stores, go- places, they are mediocre at best. I do not Crystal was into this bag. I also believe that go bars and several "bathhouses" adver- recommend either of the parlor neighbor- if you have the "right girl," or once the tising "love tussles." I entered one known hoods to the timid. The best advice I can masseuse gets to know you, you can get as the "Houston Bath House" and asked, offer is to hit town with a phone number or more than just a hand-lob at The Godfather"What is this love tussle, y'all?" simply confine yourself to the city 's other and similar parlors in the D.C. area. All in "Well, that's when you and a girl get to- attractions, all, Washington is still a good town-for gether in a room and, well, sort of wrestle massage parlors. around." "Oh." MIAMI "Why don't you try a session and lind ATLANTA out?" I was immediately surrounded by five , girls of all shapes, sizes and racial extrac- tions. They weren 't bad, but the whole deal sounded too vague to me and the place was considerably less than luxurious, so I backed out. "You ain't coming back, are you?" asked a strawberry blonde. "Maybe I'll surprise you," I said. The other tenderloin runs approximately from NW 8th Street to 12th on Peachtree and is an all·.urpose weirdness zone featuring several hippie bars, a gay peep- show club that doubles as a-clubhouse- poolroom, a tew porno stores, topless bars and a string at love-tussle jOints. The entire area gives off an aura of transience and violence. For instance, while I was walking Sun City: Mink stoles and the neon glitter through around midnight, I witnessed a man of Collins Avenue contrast with the one- She: " Hello. Moon Shadow Massage." casually pummeling the shit out of another story patio culture that makes up the rest Me: "Could you tell me something about guy who was clutching a bottle of Bud and of the town. There's a sensual, slow-motion OCTOBER 39 atmosphere that makes everyone seem asked. I signaled no and followed her into a that seems to empty the body of a/l vital relaxed , as if on vacation. Boutiques sell large, dimly lit room with two beds: one wet, lIuids, including bone marrow. When it was women's blouses emblazoned with "Miami one dry. In her cute Southern dialect, she over, she looked up at me for approval with Bitch" and "J.A.P." Girls are everywhere- explained the rates and services, pointing a string of semen suspended from her lower hitchhiking to beaches, their luscious tan out that tipping could be discussed aMer the lip to my genitals. In short, it was classic: bodies encased in bikinis, or slowly driving " relaxation treatment." She was obviously a beautifully lewd experience. We parted through a shopping center in a Mercedes. new, and there was nothing professional friends-aMer a fashion. The sports section of the Miami Herald about her slow and deliberate manner. At True, I was lucky to find a girl like Laurie. is the best source of current parlors, with th is pOinl, my horns were fully extended. II However, the fact remains that girls like her about 25 listings scattered around town. In she had suggested a mutual reading of the can be found in massage parlors, and to my Miami " scattered" means an hour of free- latest copy of The Watchtower, I might have thinking they oller the best possible ex- way driving, so determine as much about agreed. Instead, she said the sessions perience that's available in commercial the deal as possible over the phone. The began at $20 and ranged up to $35 for a sex. Based on the hall-dozen studios that I prices range from $25 to $75 for two girls hall-hour nude. I paid her for the nude checked in Miami, the masseuses are far and a " complete massage." session, and we sat and talked for a few above average in terms of attractiveness , The scene is erratic here. The parlors use m inutes. "Laurie" explained that jobs were and the rates are reasonable, considering every form of legal gimmick and semantic scarce in Miami, and previously she had what you get. All in all , I would say that dodge to keep ahead of the law. There are been working in a factory for $60 a week. Miami is a good town for a "massage." dance studios, art and photography studios, Her husband was disabled from a motorcy- love-wrestling joints and "relaxation treat- cle accident, and this was her first day at the ment centers," to name a few. The most parlor. Her story was a melodramatic tale of HOUSTON dubious places seem to be the dance and woe, but it had an obvious ring of truth to it. art studios. The rates range from $15 for a She epitomized one of the best features of "veil dance" to $50 for a "nude dance massage parlors: the opportunity to be where you can touch the dancer." Stay with fucked by someone who is real, a chance to "relaxation treatments," a local euphemism get your rocks 011 with some human contact for a massage. thrown in. Decadence is a big thing in Miami. Even She disappeared with the money wh ile I the mediocre places will take a stab at it undressed and plopped down on the dry with smoked-glass mirrors and garishly bed, smoking, with a soM-on. When she covered water beds. But things can be light returned, she began what amounted to a in Miami, and it is entirely possible to find striptease in installments, taking almost sitting next to a very attractive lady five minutes since Laurie continually in- on a water bed in a room decorated like a terrupted the process to tell me something cathouse in Sodom and hear her tell you else. She had a fine , miniature body with there's no sex. This can mean you will have upturned breasts and a bitable ass. Laurie to wait until the session is in progress 10 was 22 years old and had never been out of discuss extras. the Miami area. Since I didn't know what to A friend had told me the best parlor in expect from her, imagine my delight when Houston is proudly billed by locals as the Miami was a jOint called "Les Dames." she climbed up onto my chest, her cute fastest-growing city in the nation. Certainly, Although I was skeptical, he insisted that I Irttle cooze about a foot from my eyeballs. it is a city that sullers from growing pains. check it out. Apparently, she felt relaxed because she NASA and the oil companies have taken Les Dames, a typical one-story building spoke nonstop about her husband and their over the town by creating jobs that attract on the Dixie Highway, is located in the south life together. It was tricky business to help thousands of New Yorkers and Califor- end of Miami. The parlors are open until her solve her personal problems and to nians. The result is a hurricane effect as the three or four in the morning, so, arriving at maintain an erection simultaneously . Her crazies from the coasts and the old-line midnight, I hit the height of the rush hour. husband's name was John, and to prove conservative traditions converge. Local TV Confusion reigned. Apparently . there was this she'd had it tattooed about three inches throws out recruiting ads for the police no manager, and the masseuses were above her snatch. department and Bible-thumping shows running the show. Trallic was heavy: Men "Looks like a new tattoo." featuring young charlatans in black velvet with sperm counts drained were bealing a "It's about six months' Old," she an- suits. The city gives off a confused but hasty retreat while others wearing frozen swered proudly while I was fondling her tits highly energized vibration. expressions of lust were paying their way in. and pussy, which to my surprise was de- By any yardstick, it isn't a good town for I sat eyeballing the masseuses as they livering a quantity of dew onto my fingers . massage parlors. They 're illegal in Houston scurried in and out of my view-nothing The massage lasted a hall hour, aMer but can be found outside the city limits, the spectacular. AMer an interminable wait, a which I asked her what else was available. majority located ir the vicinity of the airport. black girl came running in to say, " OK, your "Well, there's the super for th irty. That's a The Houston Yellow Pages are a source for masseuse is ready." I was set to raise hell lay, but I'm really not into that yet. Then parlors, but I found that many had either about not being allowed to choose when a there's a blow-job for fiMeen." I lay back, closed or were not answering the phone. A bespectacled girl, 4'10" and 95 pounds, watching this fresh, bespectacled 16-year- better, more up-tO-date source is TV Facts appeared. She did not look day-number- old face blow my dick while I fingered her magazine, which can be found in any hotel one over 16: a sight that sent my lust ba- elastic-tight box, which Laurie had accom- or motel. It includes listings of the parlors, romeJer whacko. modatingly spread for me. When I came, it escort services, strip clubs and even "the "Have you ever been here before?" she was one of those explosive ejaculations world 's largest adult movie motel." AI- 40 HUSTLER
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