1 NEW RAIN An Anthology of Queer life, Vulnerability and Resilience 2021 Minority Womyn in Action Kenya Copyright © 2021 is held by Minority Womyn in Action, Kenya. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, re - designed, photocopied without the express written permission of the copyright owners. Story Editing, cover design, and book design by Carlo Kui and 17 Minority Womyn in Action members. INTRODUCTION Queer life, vulnerability and resilience By Muthoni Ngige The publication of this anthology provides a rare opportunity to see behind the distortion of facts concerning the life, desires, and motivations of lesbian, bisexual, queer women, and non - binary folks. The te xts are shaped by the nature of Kenya’s social context that denies the existence of same sex - sexuality whilst imposing heterosexuality as the norm thereby normalizing the many forms of othering, prejudice, discrimination, and violence meted on LGBTI+ folks The book title New Rain claims an intimate connection with rain as an assertion, affirmation and testament of rebirth queer folks must claim in the Kenyan context that is hostile to the growth of queer love. This production gestures towards the growing confidence of queer communities, deliberately locating their existential experience in Kenyan history and in the world by imagining better realities that do not have to translate, bend, fold, or censor to be acceptable or tolerated. It attempts to document the force of will and volition in the metamorphosis of the queer self, shifting away from the chaos of subjugation that define everyday queer life towards a Re - birth: vision of renaissance, collective liberation, and futurity. The selection is wide rangi ng so that every reader can find something of interest. It is a necessary reading to spark conversation, connections, ideas both within the community and beyond whilst claiming legitimacy to the growing body of work on the black queer experience in the Afr ican continent. Here is to the futures we deserve in our lifetime. This anthology was made possible through contributions from Lesbian, bisexual women, queer women, and non - binary folks Members of Minority Womyn in Action Kenya Thank you for sharing your stories and yourselves with us. CONTENTS LOVE, DATING, AND INTIMACY 1 LESIONS AND SCARS 21 IDENTITY AND BELONGING 35 RELIGION AND FAITH 40 QUEER PLACES AND SPACES 44 1 LOVE, DATING, AND INTIMACY salacious adventures 2 Just for Tonight By Sonia Audi What do you say to a dance beyond stolen glances at Club LA? To lust unleashed past stolen moments in the night , When you touch yourself to your memories of me? I want to get downright dirty with you on this dance floor, Watch you set fire to my crotch as your waist whines to Summertime, And my hungry hips seek you like we are in Njaanuary, And you are the ever - elusive shilling to my Kenyan. I want to feel your breath on my neck when you come up for air, h ot, hungry, tinged with the scent of Tusker and tobacco, Givin g me a heady rush and a pool between my thighs, I want to meet you outside the concrete walls of your ego, Share me without the clanging of my iron armor. When I finally savor the want on your lips Just for tonight. 3 My Evening Muse By Lucy Oluoch It is around 5:30 in the evening, the streets of Nairobi are crazy busy. Most people are crisscrossing the city to find their way back home or ran errands. I am exhausted; the air is riddled with a multitude of scents that my stomach growls. I immediately put my mask back on, even though it makes me feel like I am suffocating. I get to Odeon stage, to board Lopha’matatus to my place. The queue was long. Usually, I plug in my earphones and distract myself with a podcast or music the entire way, but on this day , I just was not feeling it. It had been a long day; I just wanted some peace and quiet. As I am scanning around, I see her. This handsomely beautiful human with well - maintained long dreadlocks which had 3 rainbow beads visibly showing on them. Wow sasawa! She was wearing black sweatpants, white T - shirt and had some dope headphones around her neck. My mind went like “Hapo Sawa”. Intrigued, I kept leaning over to check her out, curious whether her masculine - presenting appearance and rainbow hair beads were a sign that she was queer. The more I looked at her, the more I wanted to say hi or, better still, have a conversation with her. I kept hoping we got into the same matatu so maybe I would get a chance to shoot my shot. Fortunately, we got into the same veh icle, but she sat in the back and I sat two rows in front of her. Regardless, it was a win. Normally when I board, I pay fare and then take a nap till I reach my destination. This time I was fidgety the entire ride, anxious that she would alight before th e last stage, and I would never see her again. I was hoping we alight at the same stage so I could talk to her. Sighting the last stop, I fully focused my concentration on approaching her by sorting out pickup lines waiting for the moment I get to shoot m y shot 4 and hoping this was a sign that I must get the girl! Finally, the matatu conductor alighted and shouts. “Mwisho, mwisho,” aggressively asking us to get off. I gave way to an elderly lady, so “my person ” ends up getting off before me. I alighted and looked around frantically for her. Eventually, I see her hop onto a motorbike. And just like that, my evening muse along with my dreams of bagging her were shattered. I sulked all the way home. 5 About last ni ght By Loise Kimeu and Susan Irungu Silk and satin lingerie from Mr. price Flowing delicately on her curvaceous body Bone straight wig with secretary glasses Closing a trendy modernistic elegance. I can’t stop staring at her, For she is a beauty to recko n She smiles and kills my mind, I want her, I want to kiss her, I want to touch her, I want to lick her, I want all of her. Her skin so soft Her boobs tender and inviting. Her lips moist Her ass, my oh my I can hear her moaning, And it turns me on more and more, She moans louder, Begging me not to stop Her body gives pause, For our mental applause Both our spirit’s surrender For a standing ovation. 6 GENESIS By Sonia Audi There are days, like today, when I wake up with an incessant throbbing in my head and the taste of bile in my mouth. I often swear on my mother never to touch alcohol again. But alas! Here we are again. I was at a conference; it was at one of the few spaces where I have time to catch up with queer friends and acquaintances I don’t see often. So, I do my due diligence with my usual dose of randy conversations, flirtations, and politicking over booze. At dawn, we created our own after - party . I sat on a bed opposite my two good friends and fellow activists Lily and Bella, downing shot s of whiskey with the occasional cigarette and blunt breaks. I was ecstatic. My crush, Eve, was in the room. A hearty rash caused by a pot - pourri of her perfume, alcohol and tobacco did not replace the throbbing that had been tormenting me for the better p art of the day. My heart went on a mud race every time our hands accidentally grazed a little too many times, but I liked it. We played one drinking game after another, laughing loudly and getting nearly drunk. It was a game of truth or dare; to avoid a cr azy dare, I picked truth, not knowing it would force me to become explicit about my feelings. It terrified me! “Dedicate a song to the person on your left,” they prompted me. Guess the first song that came to mind! Just guess! “I found a love, for me...” by Ed Sheeran. Her luscious lips broke into the most beautiful smile; it was warm, re - served, the genuine kind that reaches the eyes, making them squint. We dispersed when the game was over. Eve followed me back to my seat, leaned in, and hugged me. I was fl ushed . Blood rushed to my face. I knew right then I wouldn’t spend the night alone in my hotel room. The steamy kisses started the moment we stepped out of Lilly’s room, obviously drunk and staggering. My room was just next door, purposefully, so I di d n ’ t have to stager too far. We stumbled in after I fumbled with the keys at the door, ripe 7 with excitement like a kid high on a sugar rush. We fell on the nearest of the two beds in the room, me first and her on top. It had been a while since I had been intima te, so much so my privates ached. My hands roamed free, cupping her breasts through my light jumper, tracing down her spine, grabbing her butt, caressing her, and slowly traversing through her thighs to an unexpected bulge in her crotch. “ Fuck, ” I cursed silently in my mind. Shook by this new discovery, I froze! How did it not cross my mind? I mean, I knew Eve was a transgender woman, and we had met at a support group for intersex, transgender, and gender non - conforming people prior to meeting again at th is conference. What was I supposed to do? Except for an ex - boyfriend I had dated five years ago, I had only ever been with people with vulvas. Wait, was I offending her because of my hands on her genitalia? Was she comfortable? How did she have sex? Why di dn’t I ask prior to all this? Fuck! I panicked! “Are you OK?” Eve’s concern laden voice snapped me out of my stupor. My poker face was failing me big time and my eyes were popping out of their sockets, not to mention I had stopped breathing completely. It relieved me that the lights were off, and the room was only dimly lit by the lights seeping in through the curtains from the outside. It was enough cover for me to inhale and exhale, pace my breathing, and compose myself. “Yes” I smiled, hop ing this was reassuring enough. Hoping against all hope I had not ruined the moment, I really liked her, and I wanted her so bad. To inhale more of her sweet floral fragrance, to gaze upon the glow of her light brown complexion and delve deeper into the br illiance of her mind. “I don’t know what to do”, I shyly admitted because I have learned from my years of dykehood was that sex was a lifelong learning process. She let out a cute giggle. “I will show you”, taking my hand, she led me to her perineum and moved my fingers in a rubbing motion and gradually we 8 were back to our passionate dance of gliding, grinding and everything in between. 9 I will be back for more By Smiley When Rihanna said “We found love in a hopeless place...” she must have been referring to us. I met Shiru in a WhatsApp group where she was an admin. At first, I did not like her. She seemed too serious about life and would not allow us to have some fun in the group. With time, I started liking her, and I slid into her DM’s. Unexpectedly, w e ended up having deep conversations daily and, with time, my liking for her grew even more. The day we were supposed to meet finally came. I was so anxious and desperately wanted to make a good impression. I showered and shaved the W.A.P. We were to meet at a hotel. I knew the chance of getting laid that night was minimal, but I had to be ready. It rained that evening; she requested me to accompany her to her place. Man, I was going through a major dry spell; I was so fucked! Or maybe the great vagina goddesses had heard my horny pleas. We got to her place barely dry. She graciously gave me a heavy blanket to keep me warm. I do not know if it was the house light, but she looked even more beautiful; her dimples beckoned me to stare. I kept her company as she prepared us a meal, trying desperately to calm my horny ass down. Her face so close to mine... I could smell her strawberry scented lip balm. I thought I was doing so well until she leaned in and kissed me. All my self - control flew out the window, and I kissed her back. Shiru’s lips were like an aphrodisiac, mixed with a Pandora’s box effect, making fireworks glow inside me from her touch. My heart raced as she sat on my lap. I wanted her so badly I was afraid I would go too far. We gave in, rewarding our bodies with the much - needed orgasms that felt like I was levitating off the ground. It was ravishing. At that moment, I knew it was the best sex I ever had. I told my buddy later; I knew I would be back for more. 10 COVID - 19 Treasure By purple diva and Perpetual I never anticipated this experience, Love that made me love me more. About 11 months ago, I met a lady but was too afraid to tell her I was falling for her. Shortly after we were friends, the good Lord came to my rescue; she broke the silence a nd professed her love for me. I was speechless for a moment because I was not used to girls approaching me. Something in me screamed she was the right person for me. You healed me, With your love and care My wounds became scars, And the scars slowly faded I trusted her with my past . It felt like the right thing to do. In that moment of vulnerability, she looked at me with the kindest eyes, her lips folding into a beautiful smile, and our lips locked. My heart was racing, breath quickening, and my palms g ot sweaty. The chemistry was so beautiful; we gelled in ways I did not think possible. I was incredibly relieved that I started crying. Warm is her breath, Sweet are her kisses, Slowly I crave for more, More of her love in me I am certain and sure, I love you, my treasure. 11 Wifey for Lifey By Millicent Odhiambo As we stepped out of the club after an evening of merrymaking and dancing, the night air welcomes us. It was cool, and the stars adorned the sky like a possessive lover embracing their significant other. We walked home, reminiscing and laughing in pure delight. Luckily, we only lived a couple of blocks away, it was the best 15 minutes. It is both a mystery and profound joy how 8 years down the line, my wife gives me butterflies. As soon as we stepped into the house, I could not hold in my pent - up feelings any longer. The kids were already asleep in their rooms, so I took her in my arms and passionately kissed her. Like it was our last day on earth. It started in the corridor as we gradua lly made for the bedroom. Caressing hungrily and ripping each other’s clothes one by one. I nibbled on her ear gently and whispered sweet nothings. Her breath splattered on my neck like fragments of glass. I could not help but moan. Every fiber of hair on my body lit up in goosebumps. She pushed me; my body hurled against the spring mattress. I stare at her in absolute lust. Undressing whatever perennial insecurities lay beneath her panties. I savor the moment. With her hands running circles around my body , my clit throbbed so hard I thought it would explode. I kissed her cheeks, licked her neck and slowly made my way downwards as I reach her already upright nipples. I nibbled, licked, and sucked them like the last batch of ice cream on a hot day. Moving fr om one to the other as my hands caressed her thighs. Her moans grew louder. In beautiful harmony, as Elani’s song Nikupende. I held myself back up, looked at her for a few seconds, and as she opened her eyes, we smiled at each other. I bit my lip in indul gence. My hand gently tugging at her freshly done braids. Her moans grew louder. Passion stained the room like a vanilla - scented candle. An aura so divine that if anyone 12 walked into the room at that exact moment, they would spin. The gods certainly blessed this union. In a brief bout of distraction, I thought to myself that probably I must have done something right in another lifetime to deserve such a goddess for a wife. I wanted more of her; I wanted to go deeper, to take the depth of her soul. Letting g o of her hair, I pulled myself from her mouth to drain the life off her navel and lace her body with kisses. I coveted the taste of her every inch, so I left nothing to chance. My tongue took to a mind of its own, playing hopscotch with her short pubic hai r. My breath lingered all over her vagina. She arched her back as a moan of pleasure escaped her lips. I had finally reached the promised land. My clit throbbed some more in want, and my entire body was screaming out of me to prolong the pleasure. I only let her feel my hot breath for a second or two before embarking on exploring her thighs. I kissed and licked every inch of her inner and outer thigh with precision. I could have been mistaken for an artist working on their next sculpture. She pulled up, u nable to hold herself any longer from the burning desire to feel my vagina on hers . She slowly parted her legs, pulling mine closer to her as we began thrusting in a rhythm only best known to us. I felt her warmth and wetness on mine, and it felt like a pl ace I would stay in till kingdom come. She was now shaking under me, holding me so tight I could feel her nails dig into my skin. In that moment, she moaned so sweetly, calling out my name as we orgasmed together, writhing with pleasure against our white, love - scented sheets. 13 Matatu Sexcapades By Neymar I had not seen my girlfriend in a month; it felt like forever, and I missed her terribly. She came back into town on a Friday, and instead of cuddling and tearing each other’s clothes off, we agreed to go out raving first. So, we did. And it was fun; drinks, marinate, marinate, wamlambez. If you know, you know. The party was lit. Bae was grinding on me so hard I was dying to get home at this point and eat her out. We were making out so much we had to sn eak out to the backstreet. I am sure you have heard the stories about backstreet chronicles. If you have not, it is skunking, sweet, touchy - touchy sessions, without judgmental, prying eyes. It was obvious we could not keep our hands off each other, so we h eaded out. Un - fortunately, a friend accosted me at the exit and begged to spend the night at my place since she was kidogo stranded. I did not know how to say no. It was a little past midnight. We walked to Railway’s stage downtown and boarded one of thos e ‘nganya’ matatus to Rongai. We sat on the second last seat from behind, busy making out while my friend had passed out. Bae’s curves dripping from her body - hugging chiffon dress. I certainly could not wait till we got home. My fingers tangled in bae’s ha ir; I help her onto my lap. Amidst swimming in her warm, wet mouth, I keep looking out for anyone coming our direction but mostly got carried away and pretended there was a blackout curtain camouflaging us. I bury my face in her neck and whisper, “you sme ll like dandelions”. Her response was moaning into my ears so loud the hairs on the back of my neck stood upright like a soldier. I tried to resist because we were in a matatu. I did, but she draws me in between her chest and my hands devour her body. 14 The conductor walks by collecting fare; bae jumps quickly off my lap and pretends to be fixing her hair. Luckily, he is high like a kite and seems not to care. Music was blasting and the few people still left had a PHD in minding their own business. No soone r had he left than we were back at it, romancing, kissing, touching. Now we knew time was not on our side, so she guided my hand inside her aching pussy and straddled it. My mouth on her soft tender boobs, just sucking them hungrily. I must admit I was a l ittle afraid, but not enough to stop. Oh! she moaned so loud I said, “babe, shhh!”, in panic. She ignores me, grabs my neck, and pulls me in closer, “you like that dzzaddy?” she asks and then bites her lip teasing me, riding me, and driving me crazy. Thank God! We cut the humping short when the conductor said our stage is next. I woke my drunk friend up, and we alighted, people looking at us weirdly, I bet they heard or saw something. I could not wait to get home, I swear. 15 Zikki By Peace Loise You c ould almost touch the sexual tension in the air. The people in the quiet vehicle could hear how loud my heart was beating if they really listened. It was about to be our first night together and my first time with a woman. I was so excited! I certainly cou ldn’t believe I was going through with it. We looked at each other nervously. Zikki gave me a long gaze, and bit her lower lip. “Damn! I am crazy about her!”, my thoughts screaming at me. As the vehicle swerved or came to a sharp halt, our thighs touched. It felt like an electric current run through my body each time. Each damn time! I had never felt this way about a woman. My Christian faith had sup - pressed all the small flings I almost had. I remember praying to God to abolish this attraction I felt for Zikki. We would have such a good time together, sadly guilt would surely follow. I would exhaust myself with questions that would leave me heavy - laden... “Why wouldn’t God answer my prayers? Was I really doing something wrong? How would something so demoniz ed feel so heavenly?” We got home, anticipation rising like a tide to a wave. She led me to the bedroom, skipping all the hocus - pocus small talk and awkward moments. “Is it so terrible that I so desperately wanted to know what her lips tasted like? Was i t abominable to be so curious as to memorize her the way my skin erupts when she touches me? As to crave the warmth of her skin on mine. To utter her name in riveting pleasure?” I drove myself crazy with all these questions as we walked down the corridor. Her hand in mine. I can feel myself dripping into my knickers. Ah! the longing for Zikki intensifies. We got to the bedroom and stand beside the bed. My heart racing and my knees shaking, Zikki holds my dainty waist and pulls me in for a kiss. I lose my br eath and she let me catch it for a second, with the most beautiful smile