SCREAM: HOW META CAN WE GET Written by James Vanderbilt and Guy Busick Property of: Spyglass Media Group Project X Entertainment INT. BEDROOM - EVENING The bedroom is messy. There’s empty Flamin’ Hot Cheetos bags scattered. Movie posters of SCREAM (2022) are taped to the walls, corners damaged from not being framed. KAY, 27, a child-like chubby woman with dark hair and glasses, sits at her IKEA computer desk, which is wobbly from years of usage. She’s wearing one of her many SCREAM T-shirts and some Cookie Monster pajama pants. She types on her ASUS laptop. CLOSE-UP OF SCREEN: She’s on Twitter. She speaks out loud the exact words she types. She’s one of THOSE people. KAY Hey, Matt and Tyler, it’s Kay. I just wanted to let y’all know that my latest SCREAM photoset just reached 1k likes. And I’m going to re-watch the movie on DVD tonight with all of my friends. Would love to hear back from you. Kay, with her Hot Cheetos dust stained fingers, opens up a computer desk drawer and pulls out a copy of SCREAM (2022) on DVD. She puts the disc into her outdated laptop which still has a disc drive. She pulls up Twitter again and types a Tweet. KAY (CONT’D) Hey, followers, all of my friends finally showed up to my house so we’re going to re-watch SCREAM omg I’m so excited. Microwave popcorn with melted butter, anyone? The movie starts playing on her laptop. The Paramount logo fills her 12-inch laptop screen. Just as she leans back and relaxes, the DOORBELL rings FIVE TIMES in a row. She pauses the movie, turns her squeaky computer chair around, and faces her open bedroom door. She yells out: KAY (CONT’D) Mom! Answer the door! As she waits for her mom to reply, her own loud breathing drowns out the silence. The doorbell rings AGAIN. Three more times. 2. She lets out a loud, angry sigh. KAY (CONT’D) Mom, answer the fucking door! I’m busy in here trying to keep my status as one of the top SCREAM fans on Twitter. If I don’t Tweet every 10 minutes, my followers get worried. Kay minimizes the movie and pulls up Twitter and types. KAY (CONT’D) God, my mom is SO ANNOYING. The doorbell is ringing and she won’t answer it. I mean, hello, this is YOUR house. Go see who it is. The doorbell rings one more time. Kay slams her laptop shut and struggles to get up out of her chair. KAY (CONT’D) Okay, now I’m angry. Kay grabs her Samsung cell phone from the computer desk and takes it with her as she leaves her room. INT. LIVING ROOM Kay emerges from a dark hallway. She looks around the quiet living room. Mismatched thrift store furniture everywhere. KAY Mom? Do you not hear the fucking doorbell ringing? God, I have to do everything around here. Kay walks to the front door and opens it. She sticks her head out and looks around. There’s nobody there. She slams the door shut, locks it, and pulls out her cell phone as she walks to- INT. KITCHEN It’s your average outdated kitchen. Light wood cupboards, a white refrigerator, etc. Kay walks in, dialing a number on her phone and holding it up to her ear. The person on the other line picks up. Kay opens up the refrigerator as she has the conversation. 3. KAY Mom, where are you? -- Well thanks for fucking telling me. -- Someone kept ringing the fucking doorbell.-- No, it wasn’t the Amazon delivery guy. -- Because, there was no packages outside. -- I’m hungry, when are you coming home. -- An entire fucking HOUR? Fantastic. -- Bring me McDonalds. I’m starving. -- A 40 piece McNuggets, a large fry, ASK FOR THEM FRESH, and an Oreo McFlurry. Drive home really fast so it doesn’t melt. -- And since you’re taking your sweet ass time at Target, grab me all the bags of Hot Cheetos they have left. I’m down to my last bag. -- Okay bye. Kay ends the call and sets her phone down on the counter. She starts talking to herself as she closes the refrigerator and opens up the nearby cupboards above her where the food is. KAY (CONT’D) Wait an entire fucking hour? I’ll starve. Time to find something to eat until she gets here. She pulls out an unopened bag of Hot Cheetos and a small box of Kraft macaroni and cheese in Dinosaur shapes. She puts both food items beside her phone and opens a cupboard below her where the pots and pans are located. She pulls out a small cooking pot and fills it up with water and puts it on the stove. As she waits for the water to boil, she tears open her bag of Hot Cheetos and snacks on them. Her fingers collecting more orange powder. Her cell phone starts RINGING. An unknown number. KAY (CONT’D) Hello? A man’s voice replies. He sounds just like Ghostface in the SCREAM movies. MAN I’m sorry to bother you. But is this ClaireLovesAmberFreeman from Twitter? 4. KAY This is. But all my friends call me Kay. It’s the new name I’ve given myself once I changed my pronouns to They/Her. May I ask who is calling and how you got my number? MAN This is Matt Bettinelli-Olpin. I read the Tweet you tagged me in. Kay gets excited and almost knocks over her pot of boiling water. KAY No fucking way. There’s no way this is Matt. Ever since you and Tyler followed me on Twitter last year, I’ve been tweeting you 10x a day every day, hoping you’d notice me. MAN Oh, trust me, I’ve noticed. It’s just that, as directors of the last SCREAM movie, we can’t choose favorite fans, because they’ll start fighting. You know how it is. But let me just tell you, you’re one of my favorites. Kay blushes. The unloved child inside of her emerges. KAY Okay, if this is really Matt, how did you get my number? Kay eats her Hot Cheetos as she waits for his answer. MAN It’s connected to your Twitter. And us verified accounts have access to that kind of information. KAY That makes sense. I’m sorry. I’m just freaking out right now. I can’t believe it’s really you. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you kind of sound like Ghostface in the movies. Your voice sounds different in every single interview I watched of you. 5. MAN I get that a lot. Your voice sounds different than I thought it would too. It sounds sexier. I looked through all your selfies and you’re pretty sexy. But I have a thing for big girls so I’m biased. KAY Speaking of big girls, when are we going to get one in a SCREAM movie? We’ve had five films so far and not one chubby character besides Kenny from the first? You Hollywood directors really underestimate how many overweight girls love your movies. Just once we’d love to see ourselves represented. The last SCREAM movie gave us our first Latinas. Why not a chubby girl? MAN Because the 40 year-old straight white men who pay to watch these movies in theatres will say it’s too woke. We can only have so much diversity per film. KAY Well fuck them. I saw it in theatres too. Three times. Even caught Covid. But it was worth it. MAN Really? When did you first see it? KAY January 14th, 2022. 7:00 PM. MAN That was Friday night. You do know the true opening night was Thursday night, right? Only the true fans went Thursday night. And from what I’m hearing, I don’t think you’re a true fan. KAY Matt, no. I’m a true fan. PLEASE. Ask me anything about your SCREAM movie. If I get a question wrong you can hang up and block me on Twitter. I’ll understand. I’ll be heartbroken but I’ll understand. 6. MAN Okay. First question. How much money did it make opening weekend domestically? KAY It made $30 million on the 3 day weekend and $33 million on the 4 day weekend. MAN Good girl. Next question. What was the film originally titled in the script process? KAY SCREAM FOREVER. MAN What other “re-quels” does Mindy mention in her monologue? KAY Halloween. Saw. Terminator. Jurassic Park. Ghostbusters. Star Wars. MAN You know, Kay, you’re right. You do know my movie. Kay eats more Hot Cheetos, smiling. KAY I can’t believe you just said my name. MAN I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’m currently writing the screenplay for SCREAM 6. And I think there’s a character you’d be perfect for. KAY Really? Who? MAN Martha Meeks’ younger cousin. You and Heather Matarazzo look a lot alike so I think it could work. 7. KAY I would love that. I’ve wanted to be in a SCREAM movie ever since I was a little girl. MAN Is that why you’re currently wearing one of the SCREAM shirts that Paramount sent you? Kay is confused, slightly scared. She looks down at the black SCREAM T-shirt she’s wearing that Paramount sent her for being a big fan on Twitter. KAY How’d you know I was wearing one of my SCREAM shirts? MAN Lucky guess. She then laughs and calms down, realizing: KAY Oh, you must have saw the selfies I posted earlier today. MAN No. But I did see you peeking out your front door 10 minutes ago. Nice Cookie Monster pajama pants, by the way. I didn’t know they still made those. [Insert noise from MALIGNANT whenever Maddie tells Sydney she’s adopted.] Kay becomes terrified. KAY Fuck you. This isn’t Matt, is it? MAN You dumb bitch. Do you really think a famous Hollywood director would even take 2 seconds out of his day to call some obsessed overweight super-fan? You’d have to be real toxic to believe that. KAY I’m not toxic, I’m autistic. Get it right, you disgusting MAN. You know, the world would be so much better without men. 8. MAN Okay, fat bitch, one last question. You get it right, you live. You get it wrong, you die. KAY You have no idea who you’re talking to, do you? I have 1,000 followers on Twitter. Everyone in the SCREAM Twitter fandom knows who I am. MAN Oh, really? Well I doubt any of them would bother saving you. LAST QUESTION. How many times did I ring your door bell earlier? KAY I’m calling the COPS, weirdo. Kay ends the call. She tries to unlock her phone to call 911, but the thick Hot Cheetos orange dust embedded to her fingers prevents her from unlocking her phone. KAY (CONT’D) Fuck! She starts panicking. She sticks her entire hand into her mouth, licking as many fingers as she can, as quickly as she can, and then wipes her fingers on her Cookie Monster pajama pants. She’s finally able to unlock her phone. She starts dialing 9-1--- DING. DING. DING. The doorbell rings more times, and even more loud since she’s near the living room. The loud doorbell STARTLES her before she can finish calling for help. She accidentally throws her phone up in the air. IT LANDS IN THE POT OF STILL BOILING WATER. Without thinking and reacting quickly, Kay sticks her hand in the pot of boiling water. She SCREAMS. Her hand gets burned. It’s red and full of boils when she pulls it out. She grabs a nearby dish towel and wraps it around her hand. LOUD BANGING ON THE FRONT DOOR NOW. Kay panics and runs to the back door. She opens it and steps out, not seeing-- 9. EXT. BACK YARD - NIGHT SOMEONE is standing there in a Ghostface costume, not moving. “RED RIGHT HAND” plays loudly from a Bluetooth speaker placed on top of a trash can nearby. KAY Fuck this! Kay goes back into the house, closing the door and locking it. A CLOSE-UP of the Ghostface costume shows it’s just a costume placed over a mannequin to trick her. INT. KITCHEN Kay runs back into the house only to see HER FRONT DOOR WIDE OPEN. She breathes hard and sweats as she looks around the house. No sign of Ghostface anywhere. She hears one of the bedroom doors creak open from the hallway. She quickly hides underneath the kitchen table. FROM UNDER THE KITCHEN TABLE: Kay rests on her knees and uses her hand to cover her mouth to quiet her heavy breathing. Seconds later, the sound of HEAVY BOOTS is heard approaching. And then we see them, black serial killer boots. Right there in front of her. They stop right by the kitchen table. Tears fall from Kay’s eyes as she still tries to remain quiet. It doesn’t work. GHOSTFACE bends down and sees her, then quickly waves his knife around, trying to stab her. Kay screams and picks up the entire kitchen table on top of her, pushing it into Ghostface. Ghostface falls backward, bumping into the stove, and then falling to the floor. Ghostface has bumped the pot of boiling water in the opposite direction where it lands on the floor, spilling everywhere. Kay’s panicking and screaming causes her not to hear the cooking pot filled with hot water drop to the floor. Kay runs around the other side of the kitchen counter, not seeing the hot water on the floor. SHE SLIPS HARD onto her stomach. She lets out a LOUD GRUNT as her stomach hits the floor with a loud SLAP. Ghostface gets up from around the kitchen counter and slowly walks towards her, tilting his head. 10. Kay tries to drag her body towards the front door, but she can’t pull her own weight, so she’s moving very slowly. Even though she knows nobody can save her, Kay still cries out: KAY Somebody help me! Ghostface stands behind her, watching her trying to drag herself to the front door. Ghostface then pulls out his giant hunting knife and stands above Kay. He kneels down and quickly stabs her THREE times. She screams and starts crying. She manages to switch positions and turn around, now on her back looking up at Ghostface. KAY (CONT’D) Why are you doing this to me? Ghostface reaches to his shoulder, turning on his voice changer. The red light now glowing. GHOSTFACE Because you’re not a real fan, even though you claim to be all over the internet. And nothing annoys me more than that. Ghostface raises his knife. Kay raises her hand, as if it could stop it. KAY You can’t kill me! I’m autistic! And I suffer from anxiety! Those are two horror don’ts! You can’t kill anyone with those two things. The audience will think it’s too mean spirited. GHOSTFACE It’s 2022. There are no rules. You should be happy, Kay. You get to be the opening kill in my movie. Don’t you love these movies? KAY But I’m not opening kill material. I’m more like the fat, funny best friend who dies in the second act. Please. I don’t want to die. My mom is bringing back McDonalds. 11. GHOSTFACE Fine. I’ll ask you one more question about the last SCREAM movie. Same rules apply. If you get it right, I’ll let you live. Get it wrong, and your mom returns home to find a carved up whale on her kitchen floor. Are you ready for your final question? KAY I’m ready for it, bitch. GHOSTFACE How many times does Amber get shot? Kay’s fear turns into a smile. She’s fairly certain she knows the answer. She yells out: KAY Amber gets shot FOUR FUCKING TIMES, ass-hole! Gale shoots her three times and Tara shoots her one time. I got it right. I win! Now get the fuck out of my house! Ghostface tilts his head. GHOSTFACE I’m sorry, Kay, but you are NOT the biggest Scream fan. Not even close. Amber gets shot SEVEN times. 3 times by Gale, 1 time by Tara, and 3 times by Dewey when she’s in the Ghostface costume. GAME OVER. Kay SCREAMS as GHOSTFACE plunges his knife into her. The “SCREAM” title card pops up.