Simón’s chest was tight. He felt sick at the thought of taking another sip of champagne. Tears filled his eyes. He looked past his wife Anaïs, toward Gaspar in the crowd. He was smiling and talking with lots of people. His dimples. Simón sat back in his chair, trembling. Rosa and Louise Élisabeth looked happy together. Jean Léon and the young emperor César were celebrating with the newly wed royal couple. Simón was getting dizzy when he felt a large force against him. His vision went black but he felt something grab him. His eyes were blurry and he saw his friend, 13, wrapped around him. He moaned out his name. “I’m here,” his friend was a grown man. His smile was gone and he looked worried. A tear spilled out of his eye, Simón asked in a low whisper, “Where am I?” “You passed out at the party, broke your glass and hit your head.” Gaspar wiped the man’s tear away. “You’re in the salon.” Simón laughed quietly, more tears started. “So you picked me up and brought me to a room all alone? Did anyone see?” “Everyone saw.” Gaspar moved Simón’s hair out of the way and looked at the red lump on his forehead. “That’s not important, are you ok?” “It hurts but I’m fine.” Simón moved away. Gaspar grabbed Simón’s hand, “I saw you crying before you fell. Are you ok? Are you thinking of him?” Simón slapped Gaspar, “It’s none of your business.” His face was red and covered in tears. “It’s ok to be sad, my friend.” Simón was breathing heavily. “I—“ Gaspar held onto Simón, shoving his friend’s face into his chest. “I’m sorry I can’t protect you from your sadness.” He stroked through the blond hair. “I— I wasn’t ...thinking of ...Louis.” Simón’s voice was quiet and even further muffled. “What’s wrong? You’ve been avoiding me for a while, my friend.” Simón lifted his head and got close to Gaspar’s face. He didn’t say anything as he brought his lips close to Gaspar. His breaths were shaky. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Simón. You’re not thinking straight.” Simón was already nearly touching his lips. His hand was against Gaspar’s strong jaw. “Humour me.” Simón kissed Gaspar lightly. He licked Gaspar’s lips and moaned into his mouth. “It’s so hard...” Gaspar pulled away gently, “Someone could come in, let’s wait until we’re in private.” He wiped his lips. “Unless you’re sharing your room with Lady Anaïs?” Simón rested his head against Gaspar. “You know better than anyone I’ve never shared my bed with Anaïs.” Gaspar chuckled lightly while Simón began tearing up again, “Still? That explains why she always seems like that.” He wiped Simón’s tears again, “Isn’t five years of a sexless marriage cruel to the girl?” Simón put the weight of his face into Gaspar’s hand, “Do you want to fix that?” Gaspar took his hand away and stood up, “You seem fine now, my friend. Do you need to go to your chambers or would you like me to escort you back to the party?” “Don’t leave me, Gaspar.” Simón grabbed at Gaspar’s coat. “I won’t leave you. Let us go to your chambers.” “You really have secluded yourself for almost two and a half years, huh.” Gaspar walked through the empty sets of rooms. No guards in sight. Simón looked embarrassed, “The guards at the stairs were all I needed. No one can enter these rooms past the stairs.” Gaspar looked at the portraits cluttering the anteroom, some were covered in cloth to protect them from dust. Others were facing the wall. “Are these all of Louis?” Simón didn’t answer until he passed a portrait of Jean Léon, Maria Luisa, Louis and himself. “I wanted most of them, Papa took a few of them, and Babette took her pick of the collection.” Simón looked at Gaspar, “I have all of Maria’s portraits, no one wanted them.” Gaspar sighed, “You seem a little stuck, friend. Isn’t this a bit obsessive?” “Anaïs says so as well. She doesn’t come here anymore, even for tea and cards.” “I understand that feeling. It’s a little ominous with so many dead peo—” Gaspar stopped, “Well anyway, do you need me to do anything for you? Are you going to bed?” Simón entered his bedchamber. “Help me relax.” He immediately began to remove his coat and sword. He threw them on the floor. He had a few outfits strewn about the floor and over the furniture. “What do you want?” Gaspar sat his swords on the table and placed his coat on the back of a chair. “I can have tea or food brought up here.” The air was thick and dark as Gaspar raised his eyes to the large portrait of a child Simón with his real parents. “Would you fuck me?” were the words that sliced the atmosphere. Simón sat back on his bed. His face unsmiling as usual. Gaspar didn’t know how to answer. He stumbled for words, “What’s that mean?” “Hurry over here, friend.” Simón patted his bed. The two men only in their waistcoat and breeches sat near the edge of the large bed. “Do me a favor.” Simón started, “Can you draw the canopy?” Gaspar was a little hesitant. He did it. The two men only in their waistcoat and breeches were in the darkness of the thick velvet curtains. Even their white shirts couldn’t be seen. Simón reached from behind and slid his hand down Gaspar’s front. He let his fingers roll over each button. He got to Gaspar’s hips and rubbed down to his muscular thigh. He spent a few moments stroking it through the silk breeches before going to the other leg. Gaspar was unmoved, he was letting this unfold until Simón went back up to his groin. “Would this help you relax? It seems to be exciting you, my friend.” Gaspar’s deep voice was clear and loud within the insulated bed. Even the light from the fireplace couldn’t penetrate the curtains. “If you don’t think this is relaxing we could watch the snow at the balcony while I suck it.” Simón smelled Gaspar’s hair. “N-no, that would be too cold.” Simón unclasped Gaspar’s stock and shirt. He shoved the stock into Gaspar’s pockets. He dipped his hand beneath the shirt and through the fitted waistcoat. His fingers stroked Gaspar’s broad chest and found his nipple. “W-when you say fuck, what do you mean?” Gaspar’s voice wavered. Simón didn’t answer him, he kept groping Gaspar’s groin and chest. “Take it off.” With a sigh, Gaspar complied. His dick was getting hard beneath Simón’s hand as he unbuttoned all the buttons on his waistcoat. He felt Simón’s hips press against his butt. Simón kissed Gaspar’s neck. He got goose skin at the sensation. Simón played with his breast. He unbuttoned Gaspar’s breeches. He pulled out the semi hard dick. It pulsed in his hand. “All right, get on your back.” Simón grabbed Gaspar’s shoulders. “You’re not about to...?” Gaspar sounded really worried. Simón pushed him to the bed, he got between Gaspar’s thighs. He felt along his hips and pushed Gaspar’s shirt up as he slid his hands up his body. “Are you still a virgin?” Simón was blunt. Simón didn’t need an answer when Gaspar choked on himself. The words hit him out of nowhere. Gaspar panicked, “Look, really, I’m not into this, Simón. I’ll do a lot for you as a friend but I don’t think I could take that. I’d rather take a shot for you than that thing.” Simón pushed himself up to Gaspar’s face. It was nearly impossible to see him in the darkness but they shared their breaths. “What are you talking about?” Simón touched Gaspar’s cheek to know he was still there. “I-I... what do you mean by fuck?” “I haven’t been able to get it up.” Simón said bluntly. “So I want to see if you could fuck me. You’re a virgin though, right?” Gaspar’s throat was clogged by anxiety. “Y-yeah, why’s it matter?” Simón sighed. “Of course you wouldn’t get it.” He grabbed Gaspar’s dick. “If I let you fuck me, I don’t want you ramming it in because you don’t know how to use it.” Gaspar was confused, “I wouldn’t do that. I’m not stupid.” “So do you like the idea?” Simón started stroking Gaspar’s dick. Gaspar didn’t give an answer. Simón bent down to suck it. He wrapped his mouth around the tip and licked it generously. He quickly swallowed it to the base. His throat rumbled against the tip as he moaned. He pulled off of it, his drool spilling from his mouth. “Fuck. I haven’t done this in forever.” He pulled on Gaspar’s balls and rolled them in his hand. No sooner than it was out, was it back in down his throat. Simón savored the smell of Gaspar’s groin with a deep inhale. He was unbothered by the untrained forest of pubic hair in his face as he moaned and sucked roughly. Gaspar managed to form words between his gasps, “Is this helping you, friend?” “No, still nothing.” Simón pulled off it and went back to the tip, flicking at it with his tongue. Gaspar moaned lightly. It’d been a long time for him, too. Simón got on his knees on top of Gaspar. “All right, take my clothes off for me.” He complied. Gaspar didn’t take any time to get Simón naked. His hand brushed against Simón’s flaccid penis as he was pulling the buttons off. “How’s your head, my friend?” “I’m fine but I’m sober.” Simón sounded annoyed. He probably wasn’t smiling. Gaspar chuckled nervously. It was completely dark and warm in the bed. He pulled his breeches completely off. Sitting them neatly at the base of the bed along with Simón’s clothes. They were both completely naked except for Simón’s silk stockings. When Gaspar reached to pull them off, Simón stopped him. Neither of them spoke. Gaspar inched closer to Simón’s warm body. He climbed between his friend’s legs and was on top of him. He fell to his hands holding himself over Simón. “Do you need help?” Simón asked coldly. “I’m a little unsure of this.” Gaspar breathed heavily. “Grab it and you’ll find how to line it up. Use your fingers preferably.” “Simón...” Gaspar was probably blushing, “That’s not what I mean! I— uh...” His heart was beating fast. “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to ruin you.” “It’s not that big, honestly.” Simón really was blushing. He knew what Gaspar meant. “I want it.” Gaspar reached down, he was about to start feeling for the anatomy when Simón called to him. “Actually, uh. Don’t use your finger yet.” Simón blushed and brought Gaspar’s arm up, he held Gaspar’s hand to his face. “Uh, you need to uh...” Simón took Gaspar’s fingers into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around each one. They tasted like leather. Probably from Gaspar’s gloves. He pushed the fingers deep into his mouth, nearly touching his uvula. Simón didn’t gag at all. Gaspar pulled his fingers out. They were completely covered in slimy drool. “That’s awfully lewd.” He didn’t consider his situation after experiencing that. “Please be gentle.” Simón moaned. He reached down and cupped his balls and pulled them away. Gaspar moved his hand down once more. He quickly found the hole and managed to sink his finger inside Simón without losing too much of the saliva around the area. Gaspar was uncomfortable. He’d never fingered someone before and wasn’t expecting the soft walls and extreme heat inside. “Uh so, what do I do now?” Gaspar’s voice was almost innocent. “Just move them in and out, there’s no goal. Just to get it used to...” Simón didn’t like saying these things. He just let Gaspar guess. Gaspar put another finger in which caused Simón to tighten. Simón let out a quick gasp. Gaspar stopped. He stammered a little until Simón touched his hand, encouraging him to keep going. Simón relaxed a little. “G-gentle...” Simón gasped. “Touch it softly.” He covered his burning hot face. Gaspar apologized and continued. He was interested in rubbing a small lump inside Simón. Simón’s dick twitched but still wouldn’t harden, he started rubbing it. Gaspar tried to ignore that and focus on the hole he was intruding into. He took the advice and stroked it gently. He avoided scratching the area and used the pads of his fingers to make light circles around the wall and on the lump. “I-is that two fingers?” Simón nearly cried as he moaned. “Yeah, does it hurt?” Gaspar blushed, “Can I stop?” “Yeah...” Simón let go of his soft dick. “I think I want it.” Gaspar was embarrassed at how hard he got doing that. He took the tip and searched around for the hole he’d just used. He lined it up and it sunk in slowly. Simón tightened around it instantly. He gasped loudly. “H-how much was that?” He sounded strained and near to tears. “Just the tip... are you ok?” “Fuck. That’s impossible.” Simón gasped and cried out. “I’m putting more in...” Gaspar warned. He let Simón’s body swallow him slowly. “Forgive me... I don’t want to hurt you, my friend.” Simón moaned softly, his insides relaxed and tightened again. “D-does it feel good to you? I’m sorry you have to suffer my perversion for your first time.” His heart fluttered as tears ran down his face. “Oh...” Gaspar gasped. “Shit.” Simón gasped as Gaspar’s cock pulsed inside him. “All ready?” He covered his face with the pillow. He could feel the increase in pressure inside him. Gaspar held his dick inside for a while. “It’s ok, my friend.” Simón moaned. “Can you keep going, though?” Gaspar landed on his hands again, hovering above Simón. He pushed it all in. He kept moving it in and out for Simón as he cried. In pain or pleasure, Gaspar couldn’t tell but he wasn’t forced to stop. Gaspar reached down to grab Simón’s cock, he gave it a few strokes until he too realized it would be pointless. It flopped out of his hand. “C-can you do me a favor?” Simón cried softly. “Can you reach the curtains? Open them so I can see you.” Gaspar reached up to move the curtains open slightly. The cool air creeped in slowly but their hot bodies didn’t mind. Simón took the pillow off his face and looked at Gaspar on top of him. He was as muscular and hairy as he remembered. He still didn’t feel anything in his groin. “All right, my friend, I’m done.” Simón moaned and put the pillow back on his face. Gaspar pulled out of him. A flood of semen followed. Gaspar’s cock was immediately softening. He breathed heavily. “Was it offensive?” “No, it felt great...” Simón still hid his face. “I’m sure I had an orgasm.” “How?” Gaspar was surprised. Simón didn’t give an answer. “You’re not offended by this, right, my friend?” Simón asked instead. “Weren’t you saving your first time for a wife?” “No, it’s ok. I probably would have disappointed her anyway by spending too quickly.” Gaspar blushed brightly. “Don’t be ashamed, things like that are normal.” Simón moved away from Gaspar’s body. “I wasn’t disappointed, I just finished also.” Gaspar grabbed Simón. He pulled him up off the bed into a hug. “I love you.” About the characters: Gaspar: 31 at this time, a former virgin who was the commander of the Royal Guard, the elite group of knights tasked with guarding the royal family. At 6’6 and 250 lbs. he intimated most people but his closest friend knew how quiet and gentle he really was. He’s never been attracted to men but he has often been willing to indulge his friend in those sorts of acts. Simón: 30. He’s the adopted son of the emperor who had to keep his appearance up with an arranged marriage to his first cousin Anaïs. He’s been companions with Gaspar since he was 12 and joined Gaspar’s military academy with him. There he realized he had feelings for boys but also learned that he’d never be able to express that affection. Louis was his former lover who died two and a half years ago. He hadn’t taken the loneliness well. The setting: Rosa has just gotten married to Louise Élisabeth, mother of the current emperor, César. Jean Léon, César’s grandfather and Simón’s adopted father, hosted a grand ball at the palace to celebrate. Simón was obligated to exist his solitude and show up, but he can’t get into the spirit of things. He’d decided to watch his old friend Gaspar throughout the duration of the party. The sight of watching someone he wanted being happy and carefree with others made him sick. Conclusion: Simón is actually really worried about his depression and erectile dysfunction but he doesn’t know how to tell people. After losing his own anal virginity tonight he’s probably going to cry himself to sleep and wish he was somewhere else. Gaspar offers to share Simón’s bed and keep him warm this wintry night. He still doesn’t feel attracted to men, and sometimes that makes him nervous that he’s going to mess his friend up and cause him more heartache than needed. For the meantime though he’ll act as a substitute until Simón feels better.