18 AND 35 YEARS IN GERMANY THIS IS HOW YOUNG MEN TICK BETWEEN STRESS FIELD MASCULINITY Machine Translated by Google IMPRINT Photos and cover: Maggie Lynx and Plan International Authors: Katharina Hofmann, Sarah Koch, Alexandra It was designed by Katharina Hofmann, Sarah Koch and Claudia Ulferts, with Barbara Wessel responsible for the visual design. Kathrin Hartkopf, spokeswoman for the management This survey is published by Plan International. Responsible: www.plan.de www.instagram.com/ planinternationaldeutschland www.facebook.com/ PlanDeutschland www.twitter.com/ PlanGermany Chairman of the Board: Dr. Axel Berger Phone: + 49 (0) 60 77 16 - 0 Email: info@plan.de This publication is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. Images and texts, including excerpts, may not be used or reproduced without the prior written consent of the publisher. Bramfelder Strasse 70 22305 Hamburg Germany ©2023 Plan International Deutschland e. V Published by: Plan International Germany eV Design: homemade. Graphics & Design, Hamburg Photos: AdobeStock: 1.Maria Vitkovska, 2.Wayhome Studio, 3.Jacob Lund, 3.patronestaff, 4.olly, 5.imagesetc, 6.InsideCreativeHouse, 7.alfa27, 8.Nicholas Felix/ people images.com, 9 .Syda Productions, 10.denis_vermenko, 11.peopleimages.com, 12.Wayhome Studio, 13.denis_vermenko Tschacher, Claudia Ulferts 2 FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY Machine Translated by Google CONTENTS 5 8th 22 4 7. EXAMPLES FROM THE PLAN INTERNATIONAL PROJECT COUNTRIES 1. INTRODUCTION: GENDER JUSTICE IS TEAMWORK 6. PLAN INTERNATIONAL'S GLOBAL COMMITMENT: “CHAMPIONS OF CHANGE” PROGRAM FOR EQUAL RIGHTS AND POSITIVE MALES 4. WHICH MASCULINES ARE LIVED IN GERMANY – AND HOW DOES THIS AFFECT GENDER JUSTICE? 5. OUTLOOK: MEN – ROLL FORWARD OR ROLL BACK? 27 6 8. CONCLUSION 3. SUMMARY OF MAIN RESULTS 26 2. METHODOLOGY 25 FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 3 4.1.4 Acceptance among women: Don't you know that you're toxic? 8.1 Ecuador: “Fathers who care” (Papás que cuidan) Partnership at eye level? 4.1.1 (Emotional) health: Do not show weakness 4.1.2 Differentiation: Men feel the pressure to assert themselves 4.1.3 Willingness to take risks and competition: No risk – no man? misogynist influencers 4.3 Masculinity and equality 4.3.1 Role distribution in relationships: head of family or 4.1 A lot of pressure, little space for feelings - that's what men do! 8.2 Ghana, Nigeria, Bangladesh and Haiti: Successful "Fathers' Clubs" 8.3 Bangladesh: Kindergartens without gender stereotypes 4.1.5 Summary 4.2 Digression: Male role models - from the empathetic father to the 4.3.2 Cat calls, victim blaming and double standards: attitudes towards women and sexuality 4.3.3 Violence in intimate relationships – okay for a third of men 4.3.4 Summary Machine Translated by Google 1. INTRODUCTION: GENDER JUSTICE IS TEAMWORK FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY Gender equality is the cornerstone of a just and stable society. Accordingly, it is also essential for sustainable development cooperation with countries in the Global South. In order to achieve this equality, Plan International Germany supports the rights of girls and young women in its projects worldwide and encourages them to shape their lives independently. At the same time, we also actively involve boys and men in the commitment, because only together can comprehensive and sustainable change in society be achieved. This approach, known as “gender- transformative”1, is reflected in all of Plan International’s work and areas of activity as well as numerous projects. Our goal is a just world in which equal opportunities come first and there is no more discrimination. To achieve this, Plan International Germany promotes gender equality in every project. Societies have always been male- dominated. In order to achieve gender equality, it is therefore important to know how masculinity is understood. A look at social media reveals a field of tension: for some, men are soft these days, too feminine and therefore no longer “real” men. They continue to support a traditional image of men. Others, on the other hand, welcome the change to modern(er) attitudes as progress and live it in everyday life. We therefore wanted to find out how the 18 to 35 age group, who spends a lot of time on social media, is dealing with the subject of masculinity.2 We investigated this using a representative survey. In one of the seminal works for the study of masculinity,3 Australian sociologist Raewyn Connell shows that the dominant version of masculinity is designed to express male supremacy in the family 3 1 Plan International's gender- transformative approach not only addresses the symptoms of discrimination and gender inequality, but also the causes. As a result, the corresponding measures and effects are more sustainable. Gender norms are also among the causes of unequal treatment. All people are shaped by gender norms, whether this happens consciously or unconsciously and regardless of what gender they are. Gender norms influence how we are perceived in our environment, what we are allowed to do, how we perceive ourselves and what opportunities for development we have. | 2 As part of our global projects on gender equality and role models, we work with both boys from the age of ten and men in this age range. However, according to market research guidelines, minors are to be given special protection, for example when it comes to questions about sexuality or violence. That is why we decided to survey people aged 18 and over. | Connell, R. W. (2005). Masculinities. 4 London: Routledge. Machine Translated by Google Gender encompasses the social role, behavioral patterns and characteristics associated with the sexes.5 This report deals exclusively with the social aspects of masculinity. The downsides of traditional masculinity also and especially harm gender equality. A self- determined life is hardly possible for women in heterosexual relationships if they are supposed to submit to their partners. Rigid images of masculinity make it difficult to fill decision- making and leadership positions with equal rights. They also solidify roles in families or relationships in which women and girls are often restricted to care work (household, upbringing and nursing) and have to put their own needs second. In gender research today, a distinction is made between biological sex (“sex”) and the social aspects associated with it (“gender”). In order to ensure the representativeness of the sample, quota specifications were made on the basis of the official statistics. Three age requirements (18-24 years, 25-29 years and 30-35 years) were defined for each gender (male/ female)8 , which were combined with school education in two stages (no qualifications to middle qualifications/ university entrance qualification and completed studies). . Experience has shown that people with a higher level of education, a certain computer affinity and a natural curiosity and willingness to share are more likely to be in online and strengthen society. For example, through upbringing, peers, and pop culture, boys learn early on that qualities such as strength, dominance, being nurturing, and controlling emotions are inherent to being a man. We wanted to find out what young men and women in Germany understand by "masculinity", how they perceive it and how they deal with it. For this purpose, we had a representative survey carried out nationwide from March 9th to 21st, 2023. In addition, constant trials of strength and constant pressure to prove one's masculinity encourage risky behaviors, which boys and men can put themselves and others at risk. In the survey, the male respondents examined how masculinity is lived in everyday life in this country. The female participants were asked about their ideas about masculinity. In addition, the results should show whether and, if so, how the different manifestations of lived masculinity influence the everyday life of men and women. Questions were also asked about how satisfied men are with themselves, to what extent they feel pressure to change their behavior and how willing the men are to do so – and the willingness of the women to support them.7 And while these traits may not be inherently negative, there is growing evidence that a rigid orientation to this traditional role can be detrimental to both boys and men.4 As providers, there is a lot of responsibility on their shoulders, but at the same time the role often prohibits them from worrying or doubting to share with those around them and seek support when needed. Restricting feelings can have negative mental health consequences and stand in the way of building and maintaining relationships as equals. Using a standardized written online survey, 1,000 men and 1,000 women6 aged 18 to 35 were asked about the following ten aspects of masculinity: role allocation in relationships, dealing with feelings, behavior in partnership, dominance, use of violence, willingness to take risks, health, Dealing with problems, acceptance of deviating images of masculinity and competition. Critical questioning of masculinity(s) is expressly not to be understood as criticism of individual men or men in general. Instead, we are investigating what role boys and men (should) play in society, what characteristics and patterns of action result from this and what consequences this in turn has for boys, men and the other genders. As a result, physical and/ or psychological violence against women is also more likely. This was counteracted by the education quota “without school leaving certificate/ secondary school leaving certificate/ intermediate school leaving certificate”. Irrespective of this, case numbers were specified for the regional selection of the random sample. For this purpose, four areas were defined (North, West, South, East) and the desired number of cases specified. The sample of respondents thus represents the total population aged 18 to 35 per gender with a high degree of probability in the three specified characteristics. FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 4 For example, JJ Bola (2021) reports on the negative consequences of male role models in Don’t Be a Man. Munich: Carl Hanser Verlag. | 5 https:// www.bmz.de/ de/ service/ lexikon/ gender-14414 (accessed on May 22, 2023) | 6 1,000 men and 1,000 women were interviewed, but only the statements of 949 women and 947 men were included in the evaluation, since 104 people completed the questionnaires incorrectly, which is why they could not be evaluated. | 7 The online survey was conducted in Mo- Web's online access panel; the coordination and analysis were carried out by the market research institute transpekte. | 8 When selecting the genders for the questionnaires online, male, female and diverse could be ticked. All non- male subjects received Questionnaire A, while heterosexual men received Questionnaire B (questions on partnership and sexuality related to relationships with women) and homosexual men received Questionnaire C (questions on partnership and sexuality related to relationships with men). 5 2. METHODOLOGY Machine Translated by Google The results of our survey suggest that we in Germany in the younger generation are far from true equality and many young men live a traditional understanding of roles - also with negative consequences for themselves. • 42 percent say that men who appear effeminate or feminine to them "already do." • Half of respondents (51 percent) believe they are weak and vulnerable when they show emotion. that you are a real man. feel. • 63 percent say they sometimes feel sad, lonely or isolated inside need without asking for help. • 71 percent of the young men surveyed believe they can solve personal problems themselves • 55 percent agree with the statement that their appearance and demeanor show • Another half (50 percent) say they ignore health problems, assuming they will go away on their own. • In addition, 48 percent of respondents feel disturbed when men reveal their gayness in public. • External appearance plays a major role for the interviewees. 59 percent state that they do a lot to have a sporty and muscular body. get a spell” from them. • 53 percent of participants say they are uncomfortable talking about their feelings. FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 6 APPEARANCE: FEELINGS AND HEALTH: 3. SUMMARY OF MAIN RESULTS Machine Translated by Google FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY • At 88 percent, the majority of the men surveyed are satisfied with themselves and their image of men to find a (new) role and 21 percent believe that it is necessary and important to help them to do so. • 43 percent say they like to drive aggressively and quickly. • Accordingly, only 41 percent of respondents would stay longer than a few weeks • 77 percent of the women surveyed have significantly higher expectations of men than they do themselves. They believe that every man should now know what behavior is expected of him when it comes to equality. • At the same time, almost as many (26 percent) find it difficult for men to keep their would strive to be among the best. put back to watch their backs. • For every third man (33 percent) it is acceptable if he occasionally slips his hand during an argument with his partner. • One in four (25 percent) therefore calls on men to forego (power) privileges. • 63 percent of young men state that they often compete with others and themselves • 39 percent of young men also want their partner to meet their own demands • 49 percent find it important to have the final say in decisions in a relationship or marriage • 41 percent also feel it is their right to compliment women, to look at them and to whistle at them. • More than a third of the men surveyed (34 percent) say they physically abuse women to make them respect them. to have. In her opinion, the partner is primarily responsible for housework. • Provocative behavior on the part of women can be understood as a request, according to 47 percent of the men surveyed. • 54 percent of those surveyed are willing to develop themselves because of this pressure. • 38 percent would like to be left alone in this regard. • 52 percent of young men see their role in earning enough money at work. • Half of men (50 percent) do not want to be in a relationship with a woman who has had many sexual partners. At the same time, 37 percent of respondents are tempted to sleep with as many women as possible. • At the same time , 95 percent of the men surveyed feel pressure to change. at peace and believes he is how a man should be. • The result regarding the statement “Sometimes I drink so much alcohol that I don't know what I've done” is similar. Here, 42 percent of men agree. go on maternity leave. 7 ATTITUDES TO WOMEN AND SEXUALITY: RISK AND COMPETITION: PARTNERSHIP VIOLENCE: OUTLOOK – PRESSURE FOR CHANGE FROM WOMEN: OUTLOOK – PRESSURE FOR CHANGE ON MEN: ROLE DISTRIBUTION IN HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS: Machine Translated by Google 4. WHICH MASCULINES ARE LIVED IN GERMANY – AND HOW DOES THIS AFFECT GENDER JUSTICE? We then examine the results of our survey that have a direct impact on the issue of equality: What role do men play in heterosexual relationships? How do they behave towards their partners? What is your attitude towards women in general? In the following, we first take a closer look at those aspects of masculinity that, in their patriarchal manifestations, can be harmful to men themselves. 8th FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY Machine Translated by Google 50 53 71 56 Men: behaviors shown in everyday life / aspects of traditional masculinity (%) 51 47 If I'm nervous, worried or anxious, I don't want anyone to tell When I show my feelings to others, I make myself weak and vulnerable I feel like a failure when I can't do something on my own I don't pay attention to health problems; most of the time they go away on their own I don't want to talk about my feelings; I feel very uncomfortable talking about it I try to solve my personal problems myself without asking others for help 4.1.1 (Emotional) Health: Do not show weakness 01 9 Don't Be a Man: Why Manhood Is a Guy's Nightmare (2020). Munich: Carl Hanser Verlag. | 10 Boys Don't Cry: Identity, Emotion and Masculinity (2017). Hamburg: Edition Nautilus. | 11 The term “toxic masculinity” refers to the adherence to traditionally male ways of thinking and behaving with which men, people who are read as male, can harm themselves and other people. Exercising these ways of thinking and behaving is mostly due to socialization/ upbringing. Toxic masculinity does not mean that men are intrinsically harmful. Toxic masculinity and patriarchal structures are closely linked. | 12 The fact that young men generally consider themselves to be healthier is also shown by the fifth men's health report. In fact, taking into account the disease data from epidemiological studies, they have a poorer health record than women (source: Foundation for Men's Health (ed.) (2022). Young men and their health. Gießen: Psychosozial- Verlag). This is also reflected in the data from the Federal Statistical Office: In Germany, the number of premature deaths (of people under the age of 50) is 1.8 times higher among men than among women (source: cause of death statistics 2021, GENESIS online database of the Federal Statistical Office, Table 23211-0004). FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY SHOWING EMOTIONS IS CONSIDERED SOMETHING NEGATIVE BY HALF OF THE MEN SURVEYED. 4.1 LOTS OF PRESSURE, LITTLE SPACE FOR FEELINGS - THAT DOES SOMETHING WITH MEN! For several years, authors such as JJ Bola9 or Jack Urwin10 and many other writers in essays, articles and opinion pieces have been advocating that men should also be allowed to show their sensitive side - and that they are not taught "toxic behavior"11 from childhood, which is says, among other things, that boys should pull themselves together, hold back their feelings and not cry. So here's what we wanted to know: How do young men deal with emotions today? How do they handle personal and health issues? What pressures do young men feel to conform to the expectations placed on them by traditional societal gender norms? And what does that do to them? (Graphic 1) For centuries, men were considered the stronger sex, dominant in work, politics and family. A lot has happened in terms of gender equality, especially in the last 100 years - but the narrative of the "strong man" still seems to prevail in a large part of young male society. This is also reflected in the results of our survey: Many young men clench their teeth when it comes to health problems. One in two men (50 percent) say they ignore them, assuming or hoping that they will usually go away on their own.12 Showing emotions is also perceived as something negative by half of the men surveyed – 51 percent agree that it makes them “weak and vulnerable”. A little more than every second man (56 percent) also says that nobody should tell him when he is nervous, worried or anxious. When dealing with personal problems, it also becomes clear how strong the pressure is not to show weakness: almost half of all men surveyed (47 percent) say that they feel like a failure if they cannot do something on their own. Almost three quarters of men (71 percent) try to solve their personal problems themselves without asking others for help. At this point, it becomes particularly clear how stubbornly the image of the strong man seems to be anchored in our minds and how much pressure it puts on young men to perform. 9 Machine Translated by Google FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY According to the results of the study "Gesundheit in Deutschland aktuell" GEDA 2019/2020- EHIS, 12 men use psychiatric and psychotherapeutic services less frequently than women (8.9 percent vs. 12.7 percent). Almost two- thirds say they sometimes feel sad, lonely or isolated inside . Health, feelings, personal problems – men decide a lot on their own. It has a huge impact on them emotionally: nearly two- thirds (63 percent) say they sometimes feel sad, lonely, or isolated inside. Strong feelings like these can – in the long run – put a strain on the psyche, especially when you deal with everything yourself.13 A look at the cause of death statistics shows, for example, that in 2021 in Germany 3.5 times as many men from 20 to 35 years died than women in the same age range.14 Overall, the vast majority of women are clearly in favor of a modern image of men: Men should talk about their feelings (85 percent), not ignore health problems (77 percent) and get help with personal problems (81 percent). Participant, 30-35 years can also express his feelings and be sensitive.” Female participant, 18-24 years "A man is allowed to cry and doesn't have to figure everything out on his own." “A real man isn't about strength or dominance, just a real man 10 In its men’s health portal, the Federal Center for Health Education (BZgA) assumes that men tend to try to cover up their mental problems: “They tend to describe the physical symptoms, since mental illnesses are still often experienced as personal and social weaknesses be evaluated in this way.” (https:// www.maennergesundheitsportal.de/ themen/ psychische- opathies/ maenner- leiden- unbemerkt/). | 13 Cause of death statistics 2021, GENESIS online database of the Federal Statistical Office. Table 23211-0004. Machine Translated by Google With my appearance and my appearance, I show that I am a real man When a man effeminate or feminine on me I do a lot to have an athletic and muscular body It bothers me when men show their gayness in public works, he gets a spell from time to time 15 What is defined as a “real man” remains open – the open answers of the interviewees provide insight into this. FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 4.1.2 Differentiation: Men feel the pressure to assert themselves Men: behaviors shown in everyday life / aspects of traditional masculinity (%) 59 42 48 02 11 and at least show my demeanor that I'm not a woman." "Masculinity shouldn't always be about looks or how much muscle you have, it's also about how well you treat the people around you." “I want with my appearance 42 percent of men say that a man who "seems effeminate or feminine" to them has been told off by them. Almost half (48 percent) also say it bothers them when gay men publicly reveal their gayness. (Graphic 2) The pressure to meet these requirements seems to come from the men themselves as well as from those around them – and with it the need to distance themselves from those who do not fit this male image. “Straight men are more attractive when they exude masculine attributes like strength etc. With that, a man can simply assert himself better in the world.” Participants, 25-29 years Participant, 30-35 years to radiate masculine characteristics (34 percent). Participant, 30-35 years The strongman narrative also seems to have a major impact on demeanor and external appearance: 59 percent of the men surveyed stated that they do a lot to have an athletic and muscular body. Also, just over half say their looks and demeanor show they are a “real man.”15 Two- thirds of the women surveyed do not believe that men should behave in this way. Conversely, however, this means that every third person expects a man to have a sporty, muscular body (34 percent) and to look traditional Machine Translated by Google FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 16 The fifth men's report (see footnote 14) also states that the social environment of young people is normatively heterosexual. "As a result, many young men who deviate from this pattern struggle with identity issues that can negatively impact their health." 17 In his essay “Risks of Masculinity” Dr. Michael M. Zwick (2005) among other things on this finding. Participants, 25-29 years The frequency of the sayings shows that men not only put pressure on themselves, but often on each other – laughing at, belittling, discriminating against and/ or insulting one another when a man deviates from traditional ideas of masculinity or does not fit this image altogether . There is much to suggest that personal happiness in life goes hand in hand with a wide range of interests and the freedom to choose how one shapes one's life.17 "I'm not forbidding anyone to shut up, but I'll say that you can say it differently." Participants, 30-35 years Rigid templates of how a man should look and behave limit men's diversity and expression. They prevent them from living a life free from these guidelines and being who they are. Instead, they are under constant pressure to conform to the supposed ideal.16 The experience of feelings also plays a role here: Talking about them is seen as “weak” or “unmanly”, and conversely as “feminine” – and for at least half of the men surveyed it is necessary to distance themselves from it. Participants, 25-29 years 37 percent of the men show nonverbally, for example by rolling their eyes, that they don't like what is being said. "Often I say nothing because it takes a lot of effort to explain why it's not appropriate." However, this is no longer so easily accepted: one in three men (33 percent) responds with verbal protest. "I debate and try to explain on a human level that there is no value in seeing the world this way." This distinction is made, for example, through inappropriate and derogatory statements, jokes or sayings about masculinity and/ or sexual orientation. Almost all men (85 percent) have heard these at some point, with half (51 percent) saying it happens from occasionally to often. 12 He also states the following: "It is undisputed that the lives of many men are tailored to competitive thinking, the constant search for recognition, the urge to impress at any price." The downside of this is the renunciation of sensitivity and the acting out of feelings . Machine Translated by Google FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 18 Michael Meuser (2008) came to the same conclusion in his conference contribution “Serious Games. On the construction of masculinity in male competition”, in which he puts forward the thesis that competition is a central means of male socialization. Masculinity seems to be a fragile construct. It can be put to the test in competitions – which, on the one hand, means that men are constantly being asked to measure themselves. On the other hand, the ongoing competition gives men security because they know what they have to do to prove themselves as men – and are encouraged in this by the group, i.e. they experience solidarity because other men, for example, reward good competitive performance with recognition.18 Participants, 25-29 years Feelings are suppressed, a muscular body is a must - where do young men find their place in a world with so many uncertainties? Among other things, when it comes to measuring strength: almost two- thirds of men (63 percent) state that they often measure themselves against others and make an effort to always be among the best. This is reflected in our survey, among other things, in the question about a role model (see Chapter 4.2.), in which - without corresponding specifications - football players such as Cristiano Ronaldo are named. The reason given is, for example, that he is the best footballer in the world or that he sees every day as a new day in order to be the best. "Particularly dangerous situations excite me" 43 percent of men say that they like to drive boldly and quickly, and that it can sometimes be dangerous. Almost as many men (42 percent) say that sometimes they drink so much alcohol that afterwards they don't remember what they did. (Graphic 3) Participants, 25-29 years A dangerous expression of this competition among young men is the willingness to take risks to prove their masculinity: 45 percent of all men surveyed say they keep doing crazy things where something could happen to them. "No risk no fun!" Men: behaviors shown in everyday life / aspects of traditional masculinity (%) 45 03 42 43 63 4.1.3 Willingness to take risks and competition: no risk – no man? 13 Sometimes I drink so much alcohol that I don't remember what I've done I keep doing crazy things that could happen to me I like driving my car boldly and quickly, it can also be dangerous at times I often measure myself against others and I try very hard to be among the best Machine Translated by Google FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY The statistics show that these aspects are often understood as “male” behavior, but at the same time pose a great risk for men: In the 20 to 35 age group in Germany, around five times as many men as women died in 2021 in an accident.19 In the same year, 85 percent of 18- to 35- year- olds who were involved in alcohol- related traffic accidents were men.20 In 2021, four times as many men as men died from liver diseases that were exclusively attributable to alcohol consumption women aged 20 to 35.21 Masculinity in the traditional understanding, which promotes risky behavior as an aspect of masculinity, is thus a risk in itself. For most women, these behaviors do not go down well: They reject constant trials of strength (80 percent), risky driving (83 percent) or excessive alcohol consumption (86 percent) in men. (Graphic 4) Acceptance of women for behaviors shown by men in everyday life (%) 23 04 14 20 17 14 19 Source: Cause of death statistics from the German Federal Statistical Office for 2022. | 20 https:// www.destatis.de/ DE/ Themen/ Gesellschaft- Umwelt/ Verkehrsunfaelle/ Publikationen/ Downloads- Verkehrsunfaelle/ unfaelle- al kohol-5462404217004-1_2021449.pdf? __blob=publicationFile (accessed on 05/22/2023) | 21 Source: Cause of death statistics from the German Federal Statistical Office for 2022. A man should like to be daring and fast A man should often compete with others and try very hard to be among the best Driving a car can be dangerous at times A man should be able to drink a lot of alcohol, even if he doesn't remember exactly what he did afterwards A man should always do crazy things, even if something might happen to him Machine Translated by Google Women Men FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY Always be the best hide feelings solve problems alone Don't care about health Traditional masculinity: acceptance by women / behavior by men (%) 4.1.5 Summary 50 19 4.1.4 Acceptance among women: Don't you know that you're toxic? 53 63 18 23 59 05 20 15 Only a small proportion of women support the traditional image of men, the vast majority of young women in Germany stand for a modern image of men. They therefore reject behaviors that are potentially harmful to the men themselves, such as suppressing emotions, being constantly competitive, refusing help, or disregarding one's own health. All of this has consequences for men: External expectations and self- restraints with regard to their own forms of expression exert pressure and can have negative consequences, such as psychological stress, less satisfaction with life and/ or risky behavior. Authors like JJ Bola and Jack Urwin argue that men should be allowed to be who they want to be – individual, diverse, with different interests, character traits, different looks and so on without having to constantly prove themselves. Masculinity shouldn't be a template for how a person should be. It is just as important for a sustainable and fair society to think about men in the pursuit of equality and to involve them from the start. –, Many men also feel the pressure to assert themselves as men - through their appearance and generally distancing themselves from everything feminine. The pressure to perform, to be the best at everything and to prove your own masculinity over and over again sometimes leads to risky behavior (driving a car, drinking alcohol). (Chart 5) While the consensus among the majority of young women is that "showing emotion" or "seeking help" is not a sign of "weakness" and that competitive and risky behavior are not part of their understanding of modern masculinity, the narrative seems to be of the strong man to have a high relevance. Half of men suppress their feelings. Problems are settled alone. If you look at the behavior of men in these areas, it does not seem to have reached them: In everyday life, many young men live with traditional, sometimes harmful behavior patterns. This chapter shows how young men in Germany deal with the feelings and expectations that a traditional image of men places on them. The discourse about "toxic" male behavior has been taking place in books, leading media and social networks for years - but has it also arrived in society? Machine Translated by Google 22 This includes videos made by people criticizing Andrew Tate. https:// www.bbc.com/ news/ uk-64125045 (accessed 05/22/2023). Andrew Tate is currently being investigated for human trafficking and sexual exploitation (as of May 22, 2023) 16 4.2 EXCURSION: MALE MODELS – FROM THE EMPATHIC FATHER TO THE MISOGYNAL INFLUENCER MODEL: PARTNERS EXAMPLE: BEST FRIEND FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY Participant, 30-35 years The (name) naming of the role models was asked in the survey without support. Prominent people were also mentioned here, most frequently the soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo, the entrepreneur Elon Musk and the ex- martial artist and influencer Andrew Tate. The latter became famous for his misogynistic and violent TikTok videos. Self- described as a “misogynist”, videos with the #AndrewTate have been viewed billions of times on TikTok to date.22 Despite this, 4 percent of those who have a role model still name him as such – mainly the younger ones (18-29 years old ). "He finds strength in showing weakness and is very reflective in his behavior, which I think is incredibly great." "He shows emotion and asks for help." Female participant, 20-24 years Participant, 30-35 years The reasons are often similar: They are role models because they are successful, determined, disciplined, strong and intelligent. "Understanding and empathetic. Deals with his feelings instead of not letting them go and saying 'I must be a man'. He can also clearly name when something hurts him.” Around one in four men with a role model named a family member as such (23 percent), often their own father. But athletes, influencers, YouTubers, entrepreneurs and people from music, film and television are also mentioned by men in this regard. "He's willing to learn, to develop and also shows his son that it's okay if you make mistakes, show feelings, have something to learn." A look at male role models reveals differences between men and women. Overall, 23 percent of the men surveyed say they know someone who is who they would like to be. 38 percent of the women say that they know suitable role models for men – 27 percent of them refer to their own partner, 18 percent to their own father. The justifications often include aspects such as empathy, respectful interaction, healthy self- perception and honesty: Participant, 30-35 years Machine Translated by Google FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 17 MODEL: FATHER Around one in four men named a family member as a role model, often their own father. "He is strong, hardworking and ambitious." "He makes a lot of money - and of course he's a great dad." Participants, 18-24 years Participants, 30-35 years Participants, 18-24 years "I admire his incredible self- confidence and his ability to acquire new knowledge very quickly." Machine Translated by Google 4.3 MANNESS AND EQUAL RIGHTS 18 Participants, 30-35 years "The man goes to work and the woman takes care of the child, that is the task that both sexes have to fulfill." Participants, 30-35 years Gender equality does not only include legal texts, female emancipation and access to the world of work. The extent to which women can live out their rights and freedoms is also and especially influenced by obstacles in everyday interactions, especially with men in their environment. One area where this has immediate implications is in heterosexual relationships. Accordingly, we examined how men understand their role in such relationships, how they (would) behave towards their partners23 and what attitudes they have towards women in general. In general, almost every second heterosexual man (49 percent) states that they have the last word in decisions in the relationship or marriage. As a result, many men are still striving for a relationship model in which the man is the breadwinner and, as the head of the family, has the power to make decisions. For half of the young men, being able to support their family is part of the male self- image: 52 percent see their role in earning enough money at work – on the other hand, they see housework and raising children more as a woman's job.24 Based on the role of the main breadwinner, almost half (45 percent) of the men surveyed also claim to be able to decide what money is spent on. "The image of the past is no longer that of today, but a man should be aware that when a partnership becomes a family, he is still there to earn the money." 4.3.1 Distribution of roles in relationships: head of the family or partnership on an equal footing? FIELD OF TENSE MANUITY 23 70 percent of those surveyed stated that they were in a steady relationship. Participants who are not in a relationship should indicate how they would behave in a relationship. | 24 The breadwinner- housewife model has been the bourgeois ideal since industrialization in Germany, in which the man takes on the financial needs of the family and the woman takes care of the household and raising children. (Baur, Nina. (2007). "The perfect father. Men in the conflict between their own ideas and the institutional framework" Freiburg Gender Studies). Machine Translated by Google In addition to the general distribution of roles with regard to gainful employment, housework and child- rearing work, our survey reveals a need for control with regard to the leisure activities of the partner: almost half of the men (47 percent) do not want their partner to meet male friends. 81 percent of the women surveyed do not agree that the partner in a relationship should put their ambitions aside. About the same number (82 percent) disagree with the statement that the man should have the last word in decisions in the relationship. The division of tasks and decision- making power in the partnership are consequently the areas in which men and women's views contradict each other the most – precisely in the areas in which the image of men has a very direct impact on gender equality. (Chart 6) In their relationship model, the task of raising children in the early years is primarily the responsibility of women. The Federal Institute for Population Research states that the vast majority of men who take parental leave and receive parental allowance only do so for two months.25 Decisions about parental leave are highly dependent on institutional and financial framework conditions and at the same time are not a direct indicator that men are taking parental leave don't want to get more involved in their upbringing. Since men in this country earn an average of 18 percent more than women,26 it is often a sensible decision, at least financially, for the man not to forgo his full salary. Most political and economic interventions aimed at reconciling working life and family are aimed at women, and the decision to work part- time is often interpreted negatively by men as a lack of professional commitment.27 This shows how gender role models also shape social framework conditions and are further reinforced by them become.. When it comes to the distribution of roles in the partnership, the needs of men differ significantly from those of the women surveyed: more than two- thirds of women (72 percent) do not believe that the man's task is to take care of the family's finances, instead of doing housework. They also demand more participation from men when it comes to parenting responsibilities: Four out of five women (79 percent) think men should take parental leave for longer than just a few weeks – they therefore want a more equal distribution of tasks in partnership and Family. As a result of men's