Dedication To Jesse Ellis Lingard 'death..and pain....what are they.....but reflections on a shallow mind' jlingz Chapter 1 Like a fish in the mind of a shark........he was nothing.........the shark has tasted human blood........the shark hungers for it now...........crazed.........the fish is nothing to him.........jess leaves the defender spinning, off balance.........., young jesse......jay lingz...... leaves him behind without ever having been....heh...,.... aware of him........big J-shark is hungry for the real deal, the proverbial blood, the literal goal...........i am in the stands.......i tear up..........i am a witness.....yeah.....of a young player who has tons of potential.......yeah not even the real deal yet....the bona fide...bonified...like the defender was bonified (died) when jessy skinned him........ metaphorically of course.......jessys not a killer.........his soul is clean, pure, toothpaste.......... he will stay outta jail.....he has to provide for his family..........even though he is so young........still so young..........i reckon jaydog is like a strong wind............ .like when you feel a strong wind blowing and you don't know if it's going to pass.........yeah or if it's going to be a hurricane........thats young jessy....... except you know heh.....jesboy's not going to pass.......unless we're talking bout football......heh......then he's going to make the perfect pass.......between a hundred defenders if need be......to score......to help the team......... jay lingo he's always giving..........but he knows how to receive as well.......like one time at ashleigh youngs birthday.....birthday boy decided to spice things up and instead of receiving gifts he...... yeah he would be giving giffs instead......yeah......he gave everybody a box..... yeah there was a small black box for everyone yeahh.........very unorthodox, uncatholic too one mite say...heh...for a birthday party.......but that was ashleigh for you.......never was another player like him......not in a good way necessarily..........but anyway i am in digressions again....heh.......point is... ain't nobody was pleased at what was in those box Ash gave out...... except young jay mother fuckin ligz.........he understands things others don't........ that's what makes him so talented in his youngsterness.... separates him from the pack...........eh? what was that? you wanted to know what's in the box?.....heh...... what's in the box.......heh......well......jessy lingz is in the box.......cross comes in........volley with the back heel..........top bin........ Chapter 2 Showing em what's what...... that's what.......but what is that......the what becomes the that when it's shown.......but young jayling.......when he's on the pitch........he never shows anything to the opposing players..........they can't see the ball.....yeah.....a game of hide-n-seek you can't win..... yessir.......until the ball's in the back of the net...... that's when they see it....... they've been shown........heh......they see what they couldn't see before.....in a way jesse enlightens them...... that's what lil ling does.......heh.....well.....heh..... there WAS..... one player......one defender.... somehow....could see the ball before linny revealed it to him.......but ling was younger then.........even more inexperienced........that defender was Phile 'willy' Johnes....... dubbed the next Maldini [romanian defender....real good....could kick a ball so high you'd grow a beard waitin for it to fall down] he was 'posed to be.......you know why he didn't make it?..... heh...well.....listen...... jay lingy he did use to become real angery when a defender dared to try to get the ball from him....of course they never could but... but Philly he ....... once he managed to touch the ball while Lingz was on it....yeah toepoked it.......lingo, well, he didn't appreciate that.. . .... usually ling used to take it easy in training.......but after that... he'd let Phil have it......and oh boy.......humiliating......Jess liked to make him crawl....yeah all fours....once while Philly was on the ground he stepped on his fingers, crushed them........MAKE ME A FUNNY FACE! You could hear the sound of fingerbones crackling as Lingard pressed his studs harder and harder. Phil was contorting his face in unimaginable ways, hoping to please Jesse enough to let go. Jesse finally released his hand but he was not done yet... Before Jones could stand up Jesse kicked him as hard as he could in the belly....... PLAY DEAD!... Jones collapsed in fetal position. But he could not play dead as he was shivering, struggling to hold in his vomit. PLAY DEAD!!!...and another forceful kick. Jones barfed. BITCH! LICK IT UP CUNT! LICK IT UP AND MAKE A FUNNY FACE!....... GOOD BOY! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! YEAH FUCKER! WHEN YOU'RE DONE WE'RE DOING A REPEAT! ALRIGHT??..... SAY YES MASTER!...yes master........THANK YOU MASTER JLINGZ...thank you master jaylingz.....THUD - another kick, right to the head.....jesse pulled a leash out of his back pocket and put it on Phil's neck and walked him around the training ground....dragged I should say........this went on while everyone was watching......they were saying amongst themselves.....yeah serves him right for trying to ruin jesses confidence by taking the ball from him........and that was that for the new maldini....that was that...... Chapter 3 can you blame kids for ...wanting to be like the big boys....heh...kids see the boys (in da hood) draw beautiful graffiti on buildings.....kids try to do the same.... it's always dumbass garbage but they try....kids hear the big boys discuss movies and music.....they try.....they reveal how.... heh....how retarded they are.....but they try..........kids see the big boys have sex...they try....you see kids kissin at the bus stop it's always funny.....funny or angering, if you never kissed at the bus stop....well I haven't either but I'm above that children stuff now....heh.....but anyway....... it's part of learnin yeah.....the overly loud smooching....i kinda want to go up to them n slap em.... in their gay faces....but anyway........kids see jaylingz play.....they.....heh...... they don't try imitatin this time..heh.....even the dumass kids can see that big Linny is inhuman...... the way he....heh....tricks the fullbacks..... impeccable technique.....majestical....... ahhh so good how he controls the ball......weaves webs around the pitch....the defenders they get caught up in it.....thr web cast by raw potential......and then my boy...the spider....he....he ignores them....like....heh..... you ain't even worth eatin, fly......ima go get the big one...big one bein' the goal.....see the goal....the way i imagine it......i imagine it is this big fly....with strings attached to its legs.....on the other end.....lesser fly's...to them attached other flies... depending on the formation.......1-2-2- 5......1-4-3-1-1-1...... it's the number 1....to get to the big fly.... your web needs to catch the lesser ones first.....jessy catches them all.... no problem......he eats the big fly....couple of times a game in fact.....the lil kids....they know the fly ain't for them....and they don't try....those who do..... end up getting caught...better stick to graffiti kid..... These are the thoughts I think...as i wait...the painful passing of the hours before a match....i take a sip...mm beer.....lineups should be announced...i open a website on the net to see,....jesse....my boy.... he's there....i start to take a sip from my beer.....yeah i love beer....heh...even got beer belly and ass....but as I lift my hand up i feel an invisible force....yeah i feel something stopping me...... I can't take a sip...huh....i feel him in my veins... Jesse's at the wheel...he controls the firing of my neurons....he uses them to create an image in my head.....i see the words 'no, friend. do not harm your health with this poison.'....white font, red background of course....below the words appears a sign....something like this _ImmI_ ......I notice my hands are also forming the same sign.....wow so powerful.... so caring.......jessy is so caring...he didn't want me to ingest....poisonous substance..... jesse stands me up...... i receive a message from him....time to watch, game soon..... _ImmI_.....i begin....heh you won't believe me...but I begin to...left n right....up and down...started slow but its become super fast....my atomic energies.....my electrons....i feel them shifting.....i begin to become incomplete.....i am shaking so fast i must have looked like a blob.....a violent cloud of molecules.....i cover the whole room now... apartment...... suddenly.... suddenly blackness.....and even more suddenly.....blinding white light..... deafening white noise......a little red.....the noise....i know what the noise is.....cheers.....i see....i am at old Trafford....the studium of man Utd......jesse has taken me to see him.....i receive a message......enjoy.. _ImmI_ ......my hands form the sign again....i notice everyone in the stands is doing it as well....we are one.....i regain control.....jesse has taken me to see him play.....and i didn't even pay for a ticket... Chapter 4 My boy jay-o he......was out with three (3) of his friends.......i was there too....they and me we....went to.... heh......a restraint.....oops haha......i meant........ yeah......a restaurant.......they n me sat on the table....yeah and they n me were gave by the waiter a bunch of menus to look at.....you know.....pick their poison.......heh.......jesse lingz when he was looking at his menu he wasn't actually seeing it as...... he was ......deep in thought...as they say..............how come......he must have thought.........i am so much more talented than the others?......how come i am so much farther ahead? how come i score the fakin'gest goals......what makes me so....special?........ suddenly it was time to order.......the waiter somehow knew to look to jesse first....he felt his raw enery....young jessy he was.......a radiator....of energy....young jesse..... it's like god himself was moving the chemicals in his brain.....the rest of us left to chance.....such potential......................,.... I'll have..... vegetables...........the waiter smiled.....he knew......he took down the order and looked to the others n me........... I'll have.........eh.... i don't remember what they and me ordered......... might as well have been.......a bunch of sand.......boiled shampoo bottle........with herbs.......toilet paper with stains.........jesse went deeper in thought.......i tried to intercept his brainwaves...and i did manage to.....but.......yeah just one second of his intense brain signals was enough to knock me out.....as far i know i....heh...i collapsed on the table in front of everyone........but i don't remember this....what i do remember is................ I am on a road.....going straight ahead........i look to the left.... suffering........and to the right.....pain....... looking behind.........death.........i turn to face forward again.......i see.....up the road........jay lingz......my boy.......i start walking towards him.....i see he's shooting balls.....yeah he was shooting them into the realm of suffering......each time he shot a ball....yeah.... another ball fell down from the sky.....jesse he......he always controlled them perfectly..... such skill......to think he isn't even fully developed yet.......a small egg.....soon he will become a horse.......a blue trash bag appeared in my hand.......i threw it into the trash....i am now in an elevator..... moving upwards....there is a gloryhole.....i peek through........i see..... jessy.....jessy........ he is climbing an mountain....only equipment was.....a full kit.....i shout out to him....hey jay...... woosh.....i am back on that road.....mid earthquake.....i feelt sent back in time.......jessy is gone.... but i feel his presence far ahead.... he's always been ahead........ahead now is a building...big.....yeah...dark......giant square of despair.....inside there are test tubes....a feeling of dread and doom.....feel also....a feeling of.....worsening......i observe around me......the tubes they are labeled......on the labels it says....young talented footballer number 711....number 577.3....number 913...also number 115...full of numbers....333...numbers like the matrix......another label.......bought on {date}....i am becoming overwhelmed with feelings of impeding doom..... and something unpatriotic................,...................,,,suddenly loud crashing noises acoust my ears......i see soccer balls flying.... crashing through the tubes....wooshing....by my ears.......jesse he takes my arm....not saying anything......but im glad....happy.....he has saved....me...... jesse instantaneously has taken me to this new place....a farm of sorts i reckon......i see children kicking balls about on a big authentic grass pitch.....pristine.......jesse he's standing next to me.....smilin.......he...heh.....puts his hand on my shoulder.......he says......all natureal........and winks......... everything goes white........i awake.........i am at the dinner table......they boys are surprised i woke up.....heh...turns out they've been slappin my face for an hour and i wasn't wakin up and theyd given up.....bout to call the nine eleven......but jesse had said don't worry.... he'll wake up....they listen to the boy......true leader.....despite being so young......the waiter comes with oure orders........ I don't feel like eatin shitstains anymore.....i say to him.......can i change my order?......... yeah no problem..... I'd like.....heh..... vegetables......waiter smiled....all natural?.....all natural......... Chapter 5 went to a japanese food place today...ordered some....heh.... spaghetti..... yeah with the tomay- to sauce.... I'm sucking them in and thinking....heh that sounded kinda gay..... I ain't gay......yeah anyway....what gets my attention is that after i was done..heh.....i catch myself drawing portraits of jay lingz in the leftover tomayto sauce...yeah i'd-a been drawing his face.....his strong cheeks that......yeah that reek of potential ability unrealized....i see the waiter lookin at me funny yeah....but what does he know.....of infinite potential?.....he must learn....i go up to him...young looking guy.... probably 30.....i go up to him holding my plate....show him the tomato sauce portrait....when he sees it he will know...the power....of talent...........he is nervous when he sees me coming.....but when I show him the plate....he is...englowed..... by the exalted tomato sauce...his face lights up....a little bit red due to...heh... circumstance....he says....i see....let me grab the ketchup bottles......he returns with a crate of ketchup.... doesn't say anything but i know what i need to do....us talent appreciators....we talk to eachother...heh... without talking.....feel eachother.....i take two ketchups...he as well....we begin spraying the ceiling....no aim needed....jesse knows what to do...soon the ceiling is a portrait of young jay esse...almost lifelike in its quality...red like his allegiance......everyone in the restaurant is englowed....we begin to chant....we are here physically but spiritually we are in the realm of gods.i lokk around me now and see...clouds...harps...bird flying...it is white bird..white like innocence...jess' innocence..heh...now.....