Version #1 - Nov 2020 everything wrong with the 'am i a lesbian?' masterdoc (written by Mage of black and white thinking , find me here, here and here) DISCLAIMER: I use the word queer in this document, especially in relation to ‘queer theory’ as a whole. I understand the controversy around this word and want to warn anyone ahead of time who doesn’t not enjoy the use of it. Some members of our community do identify with this word, and academically it is used a lot so I have struggled to avoid it. Apologies to anyone that this irritates, I mean no harm and I understand your perspective, regardless of my personal feelings on the word itself. LGBTQ RESOURCES LGBTMap: Invisible Majority: The Disparities Facing Bisexual People and How to Remedy Them Stonewall: Coming Out GLSEN: Coming Out: A Resource for LGBTQ Students LGBT Foundation: Coming Out Human Rights Campaign: Coming Out / Resource Guide to Coming Out as Bisexual Matthew Shepard Foundation: Coming Out Resources UK NHS: Am I gay, lesbian or bisexual? The Trevor Project: Bisexual Resource Page Teen Health Source: Understanding Sexual Orientation / Identifying as Lesbian, 1 Version #1 - Nov 2020 Gay, Bisexual or Queer (LGBQ) /Identifying as Trans Kathy Belge and Marke Bieschke Queer: The Ultimate LGBTQ Guide for Teens SOURCES: Adrienne Rich: ‘Compulsory Heterosexuality and The Lesbian Existence’ Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence Adrienne Rich Signs, Vol. 5, No. 4, Women: Sex and Sexuality. (Summer, 1980), p Human Rights Campaign, BiNet USA , 'HEALTH DISPARITIES AMONGST BISEXUAL PEOPLE' 'BISEXUAL FAQ' 'BI+ YOUTH REPORT' LGBTMAP etc. A CLOSER LOOK: BISEXUAL TRANSGENDER PEOPLE CDC The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey: 2010 Findings on Victimization by Sexual Orientation UNITED NATIONS 2 Version #1 - Nov 2020 Human Rights Council Report of the Independent Expert on protection against violence and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity INDEPENDENT (collection and interview) 'Bisexual women are more likely to face abuse – and no one is asking why' LGBT FOUNDATION Bisexual Women at Greater Risk of Domestic Abuse...but Why? And What Can We Do About it? OTHER RESOURCES (bi specific further reading if you want to understand why this issue is so important within our community written by cleverer more qualified people than me - these things have helped me form a lot of my opinions on these issues please consider checking them out if you enjoy queer theory or want to know more about defending bisexuals against in house oppression - you can also find a lot of this stuff pretty easy, i have only used google and books to find all these sources over the years) - Queer Politics, Bisexual Erasure: Sexuality at the Nexus of Race, Gender, and Statistics (UC Berkeley) by JM Rodriguez, professor of Ethnic Studies, Gender and Women's Studies, and Performance Studies at the University of California, Berkeley - Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyalty, and Revolution on JSTOR by Paula C. Rust 3 Version #1 - Nov 2020 The Epistemic Contract of Bisexual Erasure by Kenji Yoshino,Chief Justice Earl Warren Professor of Constitutional Law at New York University School of Law Bisexuality, poverty and mental health: A mixed methods analysis (Social Science & Medicine Journal) Among LGBT Americans, bisexuals stand out when it comes to identity, acceptance (PEW RESEARCH) Bisexual adults are far less likely than gay men and lesbians to be ‘out’ to the people in their lives (PEW RESEARCH) Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life (9780415926614): Garber, Marjorie: Books “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.” - ROBYN OCHS, educator, speaker, grassroots activist, and editor of Bi Women Quarterly Above is the definition of the word bisexual I will be using, which could* also include people who may identity themselves pansexual or queer or whatever. *who am I to tell you PREFACE Going to clear some things up before I get into the document. 4 Version #1 - Nov 2020 - Who are you and why are you writing this? My name is Mage, I write stuff. I am not a professional, I just read a lot and spend too much time online. Simply a nobody who wanted to write about fantasy books but can’t seem to get this doc and it’s followers out of my mind. This is all my (hopefully researched) opinion, find me at the links above. I don’t like the masterdoc, I believe it to be dangerous and I want to write about it, especially after receiving harassment online about this opinion. - ‘Why are you in a ‘lesbian’ space? The masterdoc doesn’t concern you because you are not a ‘lesbian.’ My identity has no relation to my right to an opinion on this work, nor is it definable in such a manner or actually anyone’s business. This document is also not aimed at lesbians but instead at women and girls who are questioning their sexuality. As someone who is queer, I am allowed to waste my time on this. - Let it be known that everything I say here, even where sarcastic, is said with the intention of preventing distress within the queer community, especially that of young women. If you are questioning your sexuality, or wish to read up on the subject, I have included links to resources above. My main issues with the document are: 1. That it is full of misinformation and unresearched theory, including but not exclusively radical feminism and political lesbianism 2. A lot of that misinformation is bigotted, specifically misogynistic, ableist, biphobic and transphobic. 3. I believe it to be most malicious in its bi-erasure and, if I’m being perfectly honest, its weird kind of conversion rhetoric. I find all of this upsetting as I know for a fact (see links above) that this kind of rhetoric, inside and outside of the queer/lgbt community, leads to 5 Version #1 - Nov 2020 discrimination and violence against bi+ people. This is made even worse when (again, see links above) you look at the statistics of discrimination and violence against lgbt people and see that bi+ people suffer the highest numbers, and research shows that not all of this abuse comes from heterosexuals. I have been debating writing about, and researching, this document for a few months, and was considering making a video about it when I had finished reading more about queer politics etc. however things changed recently when I was involved in a twitter debacle. This twitter debacle included a bisexual artist being tweeted this masterdoc without asking for it, me getting very dramatically upset because I don’t like seeing dangerous behaviour and I have emotional regulation issues, and concluded with a thousand plus people telling me I was a lesbophobe with no context for my life or my opinions, my twitter account being deleted by a mass report swarm led by a 14 year old, and lots of harrassment that made me want to die. (context: I had eight followers and directed my opinions towards no one, I did however end up with thousands of people telling me to die for not being enough of a dyke.) Now I don’t really want to explain all of this here, that’s not the point of this document and not why people are here, specifically. However, as I’m sure it will come up, I am mentioning it. My plan is to make a video further discussing the masterdoc’s influence, which is my main issue, and not the content of the doc itself, which is something I am even more sure of now that I have been hounded. Point being, once that video has been made, and I have discussed the wider ramifications of accepted biphobia in the queer community, I will update this 6 Version #1 - Nov 2020 document to include a link to that as well. It will go into all of this, plus the complaints against me on twitter, as well as the epidemic of biphobia I believe exists in online spaces currently. It seems people’s biggest issue with me is that I tweeted, and stand by, the idea that this document is full of awful conversion rhetoric and misinformation an sending it to bisexual+ people (especially when unprompted) is just bigotted and mean. This kind of bigotry in the lgbt+ community leads to literal violence against bisexual people, the majority of who are trans and/or poc as well. I can conclude it's dramatic of me to say that it is violent to send this document to someone, but it doesn’t stop it being my opinion, nobody’s business and it doesn’t make it false. The response to this was horde like and unnecessary, with literal children telling me that this document is their ‘bible’ and my disliking of it means I hate lesbians . I was told I am the reason people hate bisexuals, that bisexuals deserve to be discriminated against and die, I was called a paedophile (?? yeah idk either) and when I pointed out the empirical fact that bisexuals women suffer more violence and abuse than their gay and lesbian counterparts, I was told I was playing ‘oppression olympics.’ So some pretty dramatic responses there too. As I said a moment ago, my problem with this masterdoc is not entirely the doc itself. Whilst the document is problematic, and I have gone through it here because I do think it is important - also I don’t want to be accused of ‘hating lesbians’ when I am one - the obsession of young self-identified lesbians with the document is far worse in my opinion. It serves as a perfect metaphor for the biphobia that is accepted, and honestly praised, by monosexuals within the queer community. And I don’t care if people hate me for saying this, but this issue is 7 Version #1 - Nov 2020 absolutely more prevalent amongst wlw than it is mlm, because we are so madly influenced and divided by the patriarchy My personal encounter with this group of masterdoc fans only serves as further evidence, in my opinion, that the wlw community clearly has an issue with the conversation and culture surrounding this doc. Another quick note, I don’t want to name the writer here because I’m sure she doesn’t need it but I want to credit her so if you want to know more here is a link. How Tumblr's 'Am I a Lesbian?' Google Doc Became Internet Canon This masterdoc was written by a 19 year old on Tumblr in two nights and that is worthy context to take into this. 8 Version #1 - Nov 2020 ‘WHAT IS COMPULSORY HETEROSEXUALITY?’ ● Now I really do not want to go through this document word by word, however I’m happy to do so just so someone has because ultimately I think this doc is dangerous, and that it is essentially a badly hidden radfem manifesto with terf-y undertones , that needs to be examined under a more critical eye than the ones Catra icons on twitter seem to have. I am going to attempt to make sense of a piece of writing that was created in two nights by a 19 years old as if it is a ‘queer resource’ as people have told me it is. I’m just a dude doing a thing, I am no more qualified than the original writer, and these are my own opinions at 9 Version #1 - Nov 2020 the end of the day. Opinions I hope to back up with empirical evidence but whatever. ● Anyway, this masterdoc is grammatically nonsensical, repeats itself endlessly and its 30 full pages so I’m going to try and cover as much as I can in as few words as possible whilst making as much sense as I can muster. We’ll get to the main awful thesis points, the weird bigotry and it’s misuse of terms that have a very important queer feminist history ● Compulsory Heterosexuality was a termed coined in 1980 by the feminist poet and writer Adrienne Rich in an essay called ‘Compulsory Heterosexuality and The Lesbian Existence’. I have no idea why the original writer of this document did not feel the need to mention this because as someone who has said essay burned into her brain, it is obvious to me that not only has the original poster definitely read Rich’s essay, they have massively misunderstood it. Perhaps they have just had it quoted at them secondhand? I’m not sure because there is definitely some arguable plagiarism here but the masterdoc also misrepresents Rich entirely. Now Rich’s text is far from perfect, and contains the odd idea that one may find radical these days, but it’s ability to identify the constraints of female sexual slavery and other patriarchal inflictions on women, and unifying them through the the lens of comp het, is honestly stellar queer feminist work . Rich was also not the perfect feminist either but so much of what is said in this particular essay still stands today and if you are reading this you should consider taking time to also read her essay. Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence Adrienne Rich Signs, Vol. 5, No. 4, Women: Sex and Sexuality. (Summer, 1980), p ● Rich says that compulsory heterosexuality, and the idea of a male-identified existence where women put men before themselves, is an oppressive tool used and created by men to hold power over all women. Comp het is the grooming of girls from birth to be readied for men like cattle “The chastity belt; child 10 Version #1 - Nov 2020 marriage; erasure of lesbian existence (except as exotic and perverse) in art, literature, film; idealization of heterosexual romance and marriage - these are some fairly obvious forms of compulsion, the first two exemplifying physical force, the second two control of consciousness.” - AR. Compulsory heterosexuality is “the cluster of forces within which women have been convinced that marriage, and sexual orientation toward men, are inevitable, even if unsatisfying or oppressive components of their lives.” - AR ● The essay itself is a literary social reflection in which Rich discusses how the feminism of her time is failing in its erasure of ‘lesbian’ stories and narratives, and a failure of women of all sexualities to understand that they collectively suffer under compulsory heterosexuality and that unifying all women against the male dominated patriarchy is, as far as Rich is concerned, the ultimate ‘intersectional’ feminist goal. ( Rich never uses the actual word intersectional but she very much implies it and I am just using a more modern term to make this a little simpler etc. forgive me. ) ● “But women are all, in different ways and to different degrees, its victims; and part of the problem with naming and conceptualizing female sexual slavery is, as Barry (Kathleen Berry, a feminist anthropologist Rich references in her work) clearly sees, compulsory heterosexuality. Compulsory heterosexuality simplifies the task of the procurer and pimp in worldwide prostitution rings and "eros centers," while, in the privacy of the home, it leads the daughter to "accept" incestlrape by her father, the mother to deny that it is happening, the battered wife to stay on with an abusive husand. "Befriending or love" is a major tactic of the procurer whose job it is to turn the runaway or the confused young girl over to the pimp for seasoning. The ideology of heterosexual romance, beamed at her from childhood out of fairy tales, television, films, advertising, popular songs, wedding pageantry, is a tool ready to the procurer's hand and one which he does not hesitate to use, as 11 Version #1 - Nov 2020 Barry amply documents. Early female indoctrination in "love" as an emotion may be largely a Western concept; but a more universal ideology concerns the primacy and uncontrollability of the male sexual drive.” - AR. ● Rich also has a very specific definition of lesbianism within her essay, and discusses something which she labels as ‘the lesbian continuum.’ Rich’s idea is that upon this continuum every woman regardless of their sexuality has the potential to exist, that all positive interactions between women can and should be considered lesbian , not just because the love of women is illuminating and should be celebrated but also because it is an act of defiance against a world that is dominated by men “If we consider the possibility that all women exist on a lesbian continuum, we can see ourselves as moving in and out of this continuum, whether we identify ourselves as lesbian or not.” - AR. ● “Woman-identification is a source of energy, a potential springhead of female power, violently curtailed and wasted under the institution of heterosexuality. The denial of reality and visibility to women's passion for women, women's choice of women as allies, life companions, and community; the forcing of such relationships into dissimulation and their disintegration under intense pressure have meant an incalculable loss to the power of all women to change the social relations of the sexes, to liberate ourselves and each other. The lie of compulsory female heterosexuality today afflicts not just feminist scholarship, but every profession, every reference work, every curriculum, every organizing attempt, every relationship or conversation over which it hovers. It creates, specifically, a profound falseness, hypocrisy, and hysteria in the heterosexual dialogue, for every heterosexual relationship is lived in the queasy strobelight of that lie. However we chose to identify ourselves, however we find ourselves labeled, it flickers across and distorts our lives. The lie keeps numberless women 12 Version #1 - Nov 2020 psychologically trapped, trying to fit mind, spirit, and sexuality into a prescribed script because they cannot look beyond the parameters of the acceptable. It pulls on the energy of such women even as it drains the energy of "closeted" lesbians-the energy exhausted in the double-life. The lesbian trapped in the "closet," the woman imprisoned in prescriptive ideas of the "normal," share the pain of blocked options, broken connections, lost access to self definition freely and powerfully assumed.” - AR. 13 Version #1 - Nov 2020 “Compulsory heterosexuality is the voice in my head that says I must really be het even when I’m in love with a woman.” ● No, no it isn’t. That is internalised homophobia something that can be caused by comp het but not exclusively. ● This early on into the doc, a discrepancy like this might not seem like a big deal but it paints the perfect picture of the misinformation and cross wires that’ll come. And honestly one of the biggest mistakes this doc makes is not understanding the difference between comp het and homophobia , internalised or otherwise. Between what is a political institution inflicted via experience and how that is different from the reactionary feelings that 14 Version #1 - Nov 2020 a person may have because of said experience. I know this all sounds pedantic at this point but please stay with me. “Compulsory heterosexuality is very similar to heteronormativity - the assumption that straight is the default.” ● Again this is not entirely wrong but still not actually correct. And the issue here is that, when dealing with queer theory like this masterdoc has chosen to, you need to know like the basic definitions of the words your using, or how they have changed, and their history etc. This document has no sources . Heteronormativity is the idea of binary straightness as the default, but compulsory heterosexuality is the idea that heteronormativity is inflicted on the population to control women 15 Version #1 - Nov 2020 HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M A LESBIAN? Now this is where I start getting actually annoyed. Especially when I know for a fact that thousands of young queer women have read this text and been told it is the Bastion of Sapphism. Never forget the context that a lot of the people defending this document are actually young queer people who need protecting from the kind of rhetoric this document is plagued with. Anyway. “If you’re questioning if you’re a lesbian, it's way more important to ask yourself if you can be truthfully happy with a man than if you’re attracted to them.” // “You can be attracted to men or not know if you are because of compulsory heterosexuality and it doesn't mean you want to be with them.” 16 Version #1 - Nov 2020 ● These sentences make my brain hurt regardless of any context and I just hate it. It also confuses me because it implies that as a lesbian you can be attracted to men, which by the definition of lesbianism as ‘woman who loves other women’ then yes, I agree. But this document doesn’t seem to, it consistently goes on to define lesbian as ‘a woman with no attraction to men’ something which has been lauded at me via the horde on twitter. And honestly, I think this is where so much of this hatred lies. The L Word has definition issues . It has historically and it does still, and not only is it used as a weapon by straight people against all queer women, it has also been used by queer women to brand power over their peers. We are going to have to talk about these words, bisexual, lesbian, sapphic, queer, etc. in this doc and in our lives as a whole before straight people don’t have a chance to kill us because we have all killed each other for them. “Many lesbians STILL struggle with compulsory heterosexuality even when they know they don’t want men.” ● Again all women experience comp het , all queer women especially, not just those who discover they have no attraction to men. What definition of 17 Version #1 - Nov 2020 lesbian are we using here anyway? Like if you just said women, or you defined something like, I don’t know, Rich’s lesbian continuum at the beginning, or defined whether you mean ‘woman loving woman’ or ‘woman with no attraction to men’ , then I really would be with you. This sentence without any of that, this whole section even, is just packed with biphobic undertones , and a complete disregard for the real life consequences of compulsory heterosexuality on all women. ● Everything described here can be experienced by bisexual women specifically, so sending this to girls who are questioning their sexuality is entirely unhelpful, when it labels something queer as a lesbian experience and then implies multiple confusing definitions of the word lesbian. ● Honestly this doc is not bad in what it tries to do. And perhaps if someone who had read maybe (1) queer theory book had looked over this we might not even be here, but this is such low level analysis being passed around by high schoolers and college kids who are then putting it on a pedestal and abusing people online with and because of it, even though it is full of grammatical errors, unsourced claims, basic misunderstandings and some really weird monosexist undertones that even Rich might think were too much. ● Then there are the questioning queer kids that read it and feel displaced and erradicated or not enough because of some nineteen year old on Tumblr’s bad take. The bi and questioning and trans and fluid kids - kids who are already considered queerer by society than the average Ellen and Neil’s these days - they suffer the highest rates of suicide and self-harm in the lgbt community () and a lot of this has to do with the fact that people, regardless of whether they are straight or gay, ostracise them at ridiculous levels. Add the fact that you may be black, brown, disabled or a woman to your bisexuality and these rates become horrifying 18 Version #1 - Nov 2020 ● This masterdoc does that, and I don’t see how anyone who is applying the smallest amount of critical thinking to this cannot see that. That doesn’t mean I think it has bad intentions, it just means I think that the person who made it is dumb, the people who collected it, passed it on and immortalised it are dumber, and the queer kids that are either involved in this or are having this inflicted on them, need us older queers to shut this shit down where we see it. Queerphobia within the queer community is an issue . It is not a bigger issue than the worldwide two thousand year oppression of gay people thanks to the Abrahamic religions, but it is still a huge fucking issue. And we are blind and ignorant to say otherwise. I have felt it, I have probably inflicted it, and I refuse to not address it any longer. Queer people should never inflict the kind of bullshit expectations on each other that are inflicted on us by the hets . Why let ourselves be turned into weapons? 19 Version #1 - Nov 2020 20