HAMEROTZ LAMILLION 2 OPERA SHEET EPISODE 8 -

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RON SHAHAR: At the end of a 12-hour strength recovery period in the Croatian city of Dubrovnik, the crews will now be launched in the order in which they reached the final end point. HEN: Route Info. MOTI: You must fly to Krakow, Poland. ALON H.: After landing you must take a taxi. AKIVA: To the main city square in Krakow. HEN: There you must search for your next clue. MOTI: Come on, we’re wasting time, let’s go. PUNDAK: Let’s go. ANAELLE: Poland, here we come! RON SHAHAR: The four couples who arrived first will board the first flight. Skip RON SHAHAR: The crews will now fly a distance of nine hundred kilometres on two different flights from Dubrovnik, Croatia to Krakow, Poland. KRAKOW, POLAND RON SHAHAR: The first flight lands and then so set off: Pundak and Moti. MOTI: Open, gas, in gas. RON SHAHAR: Alon and Oren. Skip RON SHAHAR: Anaelle and Akiva. Skip RON SHAHAR: And Alon and Hen. Skip R-MOTI: You have to take a taxi to the main city square in Krakow, where you have to look for the next clue. Skip PUNDAK: The most Polish dork we ended up getting. MOTI: Yes, what a Polish dweeb. Yucky. PUNDAK: Shit, do not say words he understands. Skip MOTI: Everything, we are in a frenzy, in madness. C-MOTI: We reached the last end point in first place. For the first time in this whole race we were kicked out of our usual position. PUNDAK: We'll get into everyone. MOTI: Must be introduced to everyone. PUNDAK: You know, here in these forests I fought with the partisans a few years ago. MOTI: So you're the warrior, are you? PUNDAK: Yes. MOTI: Where are the muscles from? C-PUNDAK: Yesterday I realized what our advantage is over other couples. I said, okay, it's not physical, it's not mental, and then I realised, it's what I give to Moti, really. MOTI: What an idiot you are. C-PUNDAK: He is sheltered by my shadow. Skip HEN: We have to get to the main town square called in the local language... ALON A.: Rynek Główny. C-ALON A.: I think me and Hen are the strongest couple here, without a doubt at all, everyone else here is not comparable, really, not in fairness and not in integrity and not in strength and mind, nothing. Skip C-HEN: When we look each other in the eyes we know we are a winning couple. ALON A.: I am stressed. Skip ALON H.: Come on, work, work, focus. C-ALON H.: When we got to the race it was clear to me that I would have a hard time with Oren. It's hard for me, it's hard for me, I do not ... our day is full of sparks, full of clashes, brothers but like that ... but it was clear to me that there is something that connects us. Skip C-ALON H.: It's the winning, we, in the end, are sons of Father Gideon and a good mother, the DNA, this competitiveness, this mission, just as we respect mother and father, we respect every mission and that's how we enter. OREN: Going back to Mother's sources. ALON H. To Mother’s sources. Skip ANAELLE: Dziekuje, right. Dziekuje. ANAELLE: Shoshi, you have never been to Poland. I always wanted you to come with me to Poland. AKIVA: This year we said I would come with you. ANAELLE: That’s funny. AKIVA: So here, I'm coming with you now, just do not have so much time to guide me. C-ANAELLE: Every year I travel to Poland because I am an instructor in the "March of Life". There is some kind of insane power that Jews come from all over the world and it is really with the living people of Israel, as if you tried to destroy it and you did not succeed. And I, when I come to Poland I appreciate the State of Israel and I just say, thank you that we have it, because really people have dreamed and prayed for it all their lives, to get to this situation that we have today with such lightness. ANAELLE: I will sing "the nation of Israel lives" as its name implies. Right, Shoshi? AKIVA: Yes. Skip PUNDAK: Come on, go. PUNDAK: You see it? MOTI: Go, go. Go fast. PUNDAK AND MOTI, CURRENTLY IN FIRST PLACE MOTI: Welcome to Poland. This is the "Polski" car, this car looks small, but it actually weighs over half a ton. RON SHAHAR: This is the Polski car that has been manufactured in Poland since the 1970s. It may look small, but it actually weighs over half a ton. The couple must now pick up and move the car to the marked parking lot. In the first stage, they will have to mobilise a lot of Israeli audacity to ask Polish passers-by to help them carry the car. In the second stage, when the Polski arrives at its destination, all those who carried the car will be asked to enter and squeeze into it for a set amount of time. Only the couples who manage to successfully move the Fiat and cram all the Poles who helped them into it will get the following hint. MOTI: PUNDAK: Call people. Skip C-MOTI: We got to the Fiat missions, I in a second already grasped what needed to be done on the mission, even Idan did. I caught... C-PUNDAK: What an idiot. C-MOTI: Shut it. C-MOTI: I caught eight guys like horses, animals like that. Skip C-MOTI: I gave them instructions like you would in a class. MOTI: Start walk, yes, yes. Idan, give power, give. Skip MOTI: Moti, stop, stop, stop, stop. PUNDAK: Moti, let's get someone else. MOTI: Okay. Skip ALON AND OREN, CURRENTLY IN SECOND PLACE ALON H.: Welcome to Poland. ANAELLE AND AKIVA, CURRENTLY IN THIRD PLACE AKIVA: You must move the car to the marked parking lot. ALON H.: The car may not be rolled on its wheels. Skip ALON H.: No, strong, only strong ones. Skip C-ALON H.: We went to the blue car, I think, we located six local Poles, we did not shout like lovers, asking who wants to? Who wants? Skip C-ALON H.: I pretty much chose. C-OREN: You ran, you ran far, where did you run? C-ALON H.: I ran to pick people I know who they are ... what, I need a kid to sing me this car? C-OREN: Okay. C-ALON H.: I was looking for healthy people to do the job for me. ALON H.: Oren, how many do you have? OREN: Well, bring more, there are four, bring two more. ALON H.: I'm looking for, here, here, here. Skip ALON H.: Let's divide, three here and three there. Skip C-OREN: One has to understand for the benefit of those who see, it's a little smaller than a regular Fiat, I mean, it's a really small car, really the size of an Autobianchi for those who remember what it used to be. C-ALON H.: We quickly organized these six guys who were selected in a meticulous audition. Skip C-ALON H.: Three, two, one, what is a weight, like it's not ... I was sure like that kind of guy, such a small car ... what, a hundred tons. ALON H.: Here it is very heavy for us. C-ALON H.: It was heavy, my brother had a backache, he had a hard time, an older person, but he looked like he was doing good for his age. Skip ANAELLE: Oh my god, oh my god, what are you doing, Shoshi? AKIVA: Again, again. ANAELLE: It’s hard, Akiva. C-AKIVA: It's a very heavy and surprising car, no matter how small it is, it's heavy. C-ANAELLE: Right. Does not look heavy at all. As if you're coming, you kind of say three, four and… suddenly you go … Skip C-ALON H.: Each time the wheel is touched and rolled on the floor, the vehicle must be returned. Skip ALON H.: They're leaving us, my brother. Need two, more. Skip C-MOTI: We brought the vehicle to its final point and then… it happened. Skip C-MOTI: We had to push eight people and ourselves into the Fiat. Skip MOTI: Idan, push them. Skip C-MOTI: We put in the first, we put in the second, we put in the third, we put in the third, the fourth, the fifth, the sixth. PUNDAK: Come, Moti, only you left. MOTI: Wait, wait! Skip C-MOTI: At eight we had a bit of a problem. Skip C-MOTI: We got stuck, looked at each other and said, wait, he needs to get in and so do we. MOTI: Me? PUNDAK: What, Moti! MOTI: Where will I fit? I need also to... Skip MOTI: Wait a second, Idan, I need to get in too. PUNDAK: Well, so come on then. MOTI?: Close the door, close. PUNDAK?: Okay. MOTI?: Closed. PUNDAK: Moti, they also want to close the window. Moti, also the window. Put your feet in. PUNDAK: Close the window, Moti. MOTI: Closed, closed. PUNDAK: Wait, wait, wait, wait….Moti… C-MOTI: I hung on to the car, I started pushing them like that with my foot, pushing and closing the door on them that they could get in, but we couldn't. PUNDAK: No, no, you need to close the window, Moti. OSNAT: Run. TOM: Catch a taxi, catch, mami, catch a taxi. BAR: Inna, catch fast, Inna. TOM: Come on, fast, fast. Skip TOM: Buena, mami, congratulations on this run, my soul. Skip OSNAT: Carmit, go. Carmit, Carmit, here. Come on. Skip OSNAT: Run them over. ADELE: We intend to get to the first place, we will now try to overtake them all, do the tasks as fast as we can. C-TOM: In the previous round just nothing went, the connection between us did not go, the quarrels, the mistakes. TOM: I believe it will be good today. I very much hope this day ends on the right foot. C-TOM: With the help of the name we will know how to gather the fragments, we will know how to come and each other, respect each other, listen to each other. C-ADELE: Stop digging already, God forbid. Skip BAR: Crazy energies we come. INNA: Intensities. BAR: Absolutely hysterical intensities. INNA: As if, such positive intuition strengthens. BAR: I know we'll do today the ... given a very serious fight, no. INNA: We do not really know how to lose, Barbie. BAR: No, not really, what suddenly. OSNAT: They get us, tell him they're us. OSNAT: Talk to him in Yiddish but. CARMIT: How can I speak Polish dear. C-OSNAT: Carmit, the house ... it's her parents' language and she just knows all the words. Like Schwarze an animal. I couldn’t translate these Antiques. I caouldn’t rtnlste thees Like ... they sound, they sound, a gite shabs. No OSNAT: Tell him you have a family here, you just fell into a chocolate pool. ALON AND HEN, CURRENTLY IN FOURTH PLACE HEN: You must move the car to the marked parking lot. All the people who helped with the dragging have to get in and squeeze into the little car you moved. HEN: Get started, people, come on, people. ALON A.: Come on, come on. Skip C-ALON A.: I honestly wanted to just come, take the ten biggest and most buff people I see and pick up the car, but I saw the other couples. Skip C-ALON A.: I worked smart. Skip C-ALON A.: So I chose seven, medium, not this, I deliberately chose seven medium people, C-HEN: That it would be possible to put them in the car. C-ALON A.: That you can put them in the car. Skip C-HEN: They, I think, were happy that I was gonna get in the car with them, all those men. I have no idea where their hands have even been. One could have been here, one was here, I have no idea, Alon didn't even notice. Skip C-ALON A.: You've seen now what advantage it is that I'm a midget? C-HEN: Yeah, I do, actually. Skip MOTI: They’ve done it. Skip ALON AND HEN, CURRENTLY IN FIRST PLACE HEN: You must now reach the Jewish quarter of Krakow, where you will receive the next clue. RON SHAHAR: Teams now need to get to the square in the Jewish quarter of Krakow. There they will have to remove their tablet and take the next clue. ONE OF THE THREE COMEDIANS: Greetings from the country. How are you there, in exile? RON SHAHAR: But first, they'll have to choose which of the teams will have to make a U-turn on this part of the race. ALON A.: Hen, we overtook them all, come on. Go, go, go. C-ALON A.: I was ecstatic that we were overtaking the brothers, with Pundak and Moti not even on the horizon, the man and woman beating the men, no, I was in a trance. HEN: Well, our choice is Alon and Oren. ALON A.: One of the strongest couples threatening us. Skip C-ALON A.: We got off the fire a bit, it seems to me, and there are other people both strong and threatening, and the fire was directed at them a bit. Skip ALON H.: Oren, sit in it. Skip ALON H.: Come on, in already, we're suffocating. From her name, Oren. Come on. OREN: Wait, let me move my leg. C-ALON H.: I grab Oren's leg like this, push and tick... closed. Hold the door. C-ALON H.: Dog fever inside, Poland, Treblinka, it did the job. Skip AKIVA: Shosha, come in from the window. Come in. Excellent. ANAELLE: Okay. AKIVA: Excellent. ANAELLE: Help. AKIVA: Shosha, get in a lot harder, go in more. ANAELLE: Moment, moment. So far. C-AKIVA: I found this like a niche that Anaelle could enter under, the steering wheel, where the pedals and the seat next to, where the glove compartment was. C-ANAELLE: It was just so hard. ANAELLE: Akiva, I can not breathe. AKIVA: We succeeded. C-ANAELLE: In the end Akiva succeeded, because he is bitterly flexible, because Akiva has excessive flexibility. ANAELLE: Akiva, I can not breathe, get out, get out. AKIVA: We succeeded. We succeeded. C-AKIVA: I am very very flexible. C-ANAELLE: So finally it was that he could bring a foot there, a hand there, he was born that way, it's not something he's so working on. AKIVA: We’ve succeeded. Skip AKIVA: Two, one. Open the door. ANAELLE: Fast, open it. Quick, pull me. Skip ALON AND OREN, CURRENTLY IN SECOND PLACE ANAELLE AND AKIVA, CURRENTLY IN THIRD PLACE ALON H.: Come on, go, Oren. ALON H.: Tom and Adele. OREN: We choose Tom and Adele because they are the strongest of the weak, and this is an opportunity if they have a U-Turn maybe they will leave the game. TOM: Come on, let's go on, let's give a run. Come on, go. C-ALON H.: Our goal at the end of the day is to get Tom and Adele to finish last and the ones who will face them are the blondes and the Yemenites, no matter the order, and if that comes true, we played it. ADELE: Mami, here are Anaelle and Akiva, come on. AKIVA: Anaellosh. ANAELLE: I'm looking, Akiva, I'm looking. ANAELLE: Here, I saw it, come, I saw. AKIVA: Great. ANAELLE: Okay, we chose to vote for Alon and Oren. C-ANAELLE: It was most legitimate to put them, especially following what they did to us in the mission we counted the... C-AKIVA: Of the bridge. C-ANAELLE: Of the bridge. Skip C-AKIVA: They felt they owed nothing to anyone and were allowed to do anything in the game. C-ANAELLE: But if you touch them it's like Lord have mercy. C-AKIVA: It seems like Alon thinks he's the game's CEO. Skip HEN: Come on, Aloni, up. ALON A.: We were not overtaken. HEN: Buena, what cannons we are, mami. ALON A.: Waste of time, we flew it, we flew. ANAELLE: What is this? They told us straight. AKIVA: If I see a taxi, I stop, but there is no taxi here. ANAELLE: What, do you think everyone walked? ALON H.: Oren! OREN: What? ALON H.: He says it's another 10 minutes, maybe we should have taken a cab. Skip C-OREN: While running to the Jewish Quarter we came across a local patrol car that is kind of like a golf cart like this. C-ALON H.: On electricity. C-ALON H.: On electricity. ALON H.: Come on, drive. Skip C-OREN: We started riding this golf cart around Krakow. Skip C-ALON H.: Eight kilometres per hour, that was the speed, but we drove, we were still in motion. In a race as long as you are in motion- C-OREN: A good sign. C-ALON H.: It’s a good sign. Skip C-ALON H.: I tell him fast, fast, it's a race. It's the top, electricity. ALON H.: You are the king. DRIVER: Of roads. ALON H.: Of roads, yes. C-ALON H.; No, and he was alright too, he also went in through no entrys, went through the reds, played it. C-OREN: Yes. Because he probably has more options with this trolley to do. R-HEN: You must now reach the Jewish quarter of Krakow, where you will receive the next clue. HEN: Thank you very much. ALON A.: Wait, if he comes in, let him come in. ALON AND HEN, CURRENTLY IN FIRST PLACE ALON A.: There it is, Hen. HEN: So there it is. If you thought you had a hard time before, now you're going to have a really, really, really hard time of Polishness. RON SHAHAR: The teams now have to make three Israeli ladies known for their sense of humor, but also for their Polish affinity. Tzipi Shavit, Irit Anavi and Hani Nakhmias. TZIPI: So you're going to tell us five jokes about the Polish. HANI: Brother, Zebasha, you know you look great. IRIT: Too bad I can not say the same about you. HANI: If I can lie, then if you can. HANI: But we are not finished with you all the jokes. You have a task today. TZIPI: You have to make us laugh. It is not easy. RON SHAHAR: Teams have only one minute of surfing the web using their tablet device. During it they will have to collect five jokes about the Polish. TZIPI: So only after you really, really make us laugh and we will confirm to you that what you said is a really, really funny joke, Will you get the following hint. ALON A.: First let's write down our ten jokes and after that we'll get on the site, okay? HEN: Ah ... well, like Polish, but you'll make this funny because I do not know, I do not know how to tell jokes. A Pole sees his wife's ass, so because he's white he thinks the moon is full. C-ALON A.: When we started the mission, we had some three, four strong jokes and another weak one. HEN: Open the Internet. C-ALON A.: I opened the internet fast, looked at the second, read and just wrote, I told Hen to just write two words for each joke because I have an excellent memory, as soon as I see the two words, I will remember the whole joke, there was no time to copy everything. Skip ALON AND OREN, CURRENTLY IN SECOND PLACE Dear couples, the contestants of HaMerotz LaMillion 2, how are you? OREN: Bring the pen, bring. ALON H.: Where's the notebook? With you. C-OREN: We received a videotaped hint in which three entertainers appeared, Tzipi Shavit, Hani Nakhmias and Irit Anebi. C-ALON H.: Anavi, you shut up. C-OREN: Anavi. C-ALON H.: Again. ALON H.: A Pole wakes her husband in the middle of the night. The husband is startled, asks, what happened? What happened? The woman tells him, I just do not understand how you can sleep with such a low salary. C-OREN: The task was to tell Tzipi Shavit and the panel of Hani Nachmias and Irit Anabi- C-ALON H.: Anavi, Anav, Anav… C-OREN: Anavi? C-ALON H.: Anav. C-OREN; Tzipi Shavit, Hani Nachmias and Irit Anabi. C-OREN: You said Anabi. C-ALON H.: Anavi, Anav, Anav. What, you're completely clogged. C-OREN: The mission was, the mission was to tell jokes… C-ALON H.: It's all sweating, dog fever here. C-OREN: Not hot, rather pleasant. C-OREN: The task was to tell jokes about Poles to a panel of Tzipi Shavit, Hani Nachmias and.. C-ALON H.: And Irit Anavi. C-ALON H.:They are really entertainers. ANAELLE: Have we arrived? Come quickly. Come on. ANAELLE AND AKIVA, CURRENTLY IN THIRD PLACE You're going to tell us five jokes about Polish. AKIVA: Girl says, I was raped by a Pole. She asks, how do you know he was Polish? I had to explain to him what to do. ANAELLE: Sabba, excellent. C-ANAELLE: Jokes and I'm like it's very far what ... it's. C-AKIVA: Seeing something funny or a standup show with Anaelle is something funny in itself. AKIVA: One Pole goes to the doctor and says, Doctor, the calcium has escaped from my body. C-AKIVA: Two minutes after the joke or in the next joke you suddenly hear her burst out laughing. C-AKIVA: Then I ask, what happened? Then she explains that she understood what it was before. AKIVA: Doctor, I can understand him. AKIVA: Write that down. ANAELLE: Right. TOM: Come on. TOM AND ADELE, CURRENTLY IN FIFTH PLACE TOM: Welcome to Poland. BAR: This is the Polanski car. BAR AND INNA, CURRENTLY IN SIXTH PLACE C-BAR: Polynska. Polinsky, Polonsko? What was the name of that car? TOM: The car must not be rolled on its wheels. What? Skip C-BAR: We jumped on a bunch of pretty young guys. Skip C-BAR: I do not want to brag, but Inna and I are in no position to ever have to ask. Skip C-BAR: If my hands were cut off for another second, a painful death. C-INNA: Death. C-BAR: Death. Heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy. OSNAT AND CARMIT, CURRENTLY IN LAST PLACE OSNAT: Well, come on, gather, forwards, forwards, pick up people. Skip OSNAT; Everyone, you too, come. Skip ADELE: God forbid! OSNAT: Wait, we're missing one! CARMIT: Do not need. OSNAT: Wait, one is missing! C-CARMIT: Fi ... Punto. Pun... C-OSNAT: No. C-CARMIT: Not Punto. Fiat, not Fiat, Suzuki, Fiat. Something small, do not know. C-OSNAT: Something with P., do not remember. OSNAT: No, no, no, no, no… CARMIT: OSNAT: No, no, no… Wait, Carmit, forbidden. CARMIT: Oh so just pick up? OSNAT: No. C-OSNAT: I was ready to have one like this at home. The main thing is traveling. OSNAT: Wait, we need another one, where do you want to go? CARMIT: Another one, okay, so bring it. OSNAT: Well, I'm looking. Skip MOTI: Wow, wow, we have a few more people. PUNDAK: Moti, let's start over again with fewer people. We will not succeed in life. Skip PUNDAK: Moti, we will not succeed. Let's start over. MOTI: Idan, let's try for a moment, okay. Go inside, you can. PUNDAK: Keep arguing. C-PUNDAK: I think I'm often dragged behind Moti. Now there are times I say, fine, I'll drag after him because I do not have the strength to quarrel with him, so I will run with him, but I'm sure if I had run the game a little smarter, a little more considerate, there is a chance we would also do things more orderly, more okay. MOTI: Idan, listen well, he’s in and we're both inside. PUNDAK: The door cannot be closed. MOTI: Go, get inside, go. PUNDAK: I can not enter. Skip C-ADELE: The car is really compensated. it's just me and Tom that can sit there. Skip TOM; Come on, Adele, get in. Skip ADELE: Help! My ass is there! ADELE: All my ass out with them, they enjoy, murder. TOM: In my mother, I swear, I do not breathe, in a Torah scroll. BAR: Inna, now me and you, have six inside? INNA: Okay. BAR: One, two, three, four, five, six? Me and you also. INNA: Bar, enter. Skip C-BAR: Me and Inna are small, fortunately, we have been pushed inside, we have closed everything, and I am lying about these Poles there. C-BAR: What is the chance? I'm not sitting at all ... I'm not sitting on guys and neither is Inna. OSNAT: Close it. CARMIT: Wait. OSNAT: Come on, lie down with me. CARMIT: Wait. C-OSNAT: A small car that can fit maybe a mouse and a dog. C-OSNAT: Everything is closed, everything is suffocated, it was suffocation. Skip CARMIT: No air, there’s no air. C-OSNAT: But still we sang, and knocked on the window, to pass the time as quickly as possible. Skip Open. Okay, open, open. TOM: Ahh, my mother. Come, give a hug. Skip You all can get out. Skip TOM AND ADELE, CURRENTLY IN FOURTH PLACE BAR AND INNA, CURRENTLY IN FIFTH PLACE Skip ADELE: Get out of here, mami. TOM: Okay. ADELE: We chose to delay Bar and Inna. TOM: They are currently our battle. C-TOM: I do not foresee a great future for them. C-ADELE: They will fly out in the next episode. INNA: Come on, come on, Bar, we're on a roll. C-TOM; After they fly they can no longer take revenge on us. INNA: Tom and Adele, we apologize. BAR: Love you guys but it's a game. We need your place. aC-BAR: We need to move forward at the expense of someone who is weak because we are currently weak, need to aim for the weak. And advance at his expense, lowering him and raising us. And the main thing and the main thing Skip OSNAT: Kiss, Carmit. Skip C-OSNAT; We went out quickly, thanked them, kissed ... We kiss everyone who helps us. Skip OSNAT AND CARMIT, CURRENTLY IN SIXTH PLACE OSNAT: Come on. OSNAT: We decided Tom and Adele because they're closest to us, and we want to stop them so we can have a head start. TOM: Here’s a taxi. Go, go, go. ADELE: Come on, my life, go. TOM: Come on, go. TOM: We’re stars, stars. Skip We got them, all of them? Who told you that? There's Pundak and Moti still over there. PUNDAK: Moti, we have to start over again with fewer people, we won’t succeed like this. MOTI: No problem, not a situation. It’s fine. Skip C-MOTI: We lifted it, on the way the wheels touched the floor, we had to do it again and again and again, and again and then we tried to do it with five people, and needed a minimum of six people, so we returned again. Crazy frustration, we did not know what to do, how to do, I could not stand it anymore. Skip PUNDAK: Moti, come on, come on. MOTI: I have no strength. PUNDAK: There’s nothing to be done. OSNAT: Let's see if there's a cab here. OSNAT: Here, here, come, come! CARMIT: Stop, stop. Skip CARMIT: Explain to him that he will hurry and that. OSNAT: Everyone is young, we are old. Skip OSNAT: Our driver is a sport, it seems to me. CARMIT: Dahaba, Dahaba. (Oil in Yemeni) OSNAT: No boyfriend and no ... no, if it was our driver, now he would be flying. Fly, fly! OSNAT: Fly. OSNAT AND CARMIT: Have you been to Poland? OSNAT: No. OSNAT: We, my parents, came from here, but as if I had not yet been able to get there and check where their roots were. OSNAT: Look, what small houses, what people live in such small houses? One room. Skip HEN: Hani, Irit, Tzipi. Hello. HEN: Hi, how are you all? This is Hen Shiloni from the race. Hen, congratulations. So, what, are you first at the moment? ALON AND HEN: We arrived first. Bravo to you. Bravo. ALON AND HEN: Thank you very much. HEN: Well, we now have to tell you jokes. Okay, go on, shoot. HEN: Good. HEN: A Pole comes to the doctor and asks him, Doctor, why is the calcium escaping my bones? So the doctor answers her, look, I don’t blame it. Great. Passed. Continue. ALON A.: What is the difference between a Pole and a maggot? The difference is that a maggot eats you only after you die. Great. ALON H.: Tzipila and the girls next to you, it's Alon and Oren with a hardcore Polish mother in a house that has not changed for 50 years. Completely renovated, my dad says she's going to bed, mom needs to put her head in the safe. TZIPI: My baby, when you're coming home, watch out, your mother can say, the door is closed, or you find another key or a lock or you hit me and hurt yourself in the heart. C-ALON H.: My good mother was born in Noviłów, northern Poland. Ask Oren where mother was born, who does it matter at all? His children, where does it matter? TZIPI: Come on, let's get started. ALON H.: So Haya meets Tova, asks her, why are you so tanned, Tova? So Haya tells her, do you know how many lunch funerals I had this month? Passed. Magnificent. C-ALON H.: Our good mother is not willing to step on Polish soil, she will not give them the pleasure. What else? I told her, let's fly for a trip to the roots, let's see where you live. Under no circumstances step on Polish soil. Like she does not travel by train, and she remembers the Nazis from the age of eight months. Good evening. ANAELLE: It says she says thank you on the subs but she’s not saying the Hebrew, English or Polish word so she must be saying something else. Oh well, prob not that important anyway ANAELLE: Listen, my husband will tell you the jokes because I did not understand anything of the joke, I always understand them only two hours later. So there is no time, let's start. AKIVA: Three construction workers, Romanian, American and Polish, are sitting on the scaffolding. The Pole opens the sandwich, sees a sausage, says, another sausage? I'm tired of my wife making me a sausage every time. Jumps off the scaffolding. The American opens, sees a hamburger, makes, another hamburger? I'm tired of living, jumps. The Romanian opens, sees a frozen leg, also jumps. The women meet at the funeral, the Romanian says, if I had known, I would have prepared for him whatever he wanted. The American says, if I knew, I would make him whatever he wanted. The Pole says, I do not understand, he is making the sandwich for himself. Bravo, excellent. C-ANAELLE: Shoshi, I hope the sandwiches I make are fine. C-AKIVA: You make the best sandwiches. OREN: Why did a Pole get up at five-thirty in the morning to make her husband coffee? By the time he gets up at eight to drink it, it will already be cold. That’s great. AKIVA: How do you recognize that a Pole has been raped? She shouts, oh-miracle! ALON H.: How many more do we have? We still have to win the race. C-ALON H.: I was excited to talk to Tzipi Shavit, it ... I grew up on her. OREN: A good friend of mine ran away with my wife. And is he still your good friend? No, he brought her back. HEN: If he dies, will she cry at the funeral? Of course, Lolek, you know I cry from all the nonsense. ALON A.: Tell me, did you tell Zadak that he only has two weeks to live? AKIVA: Yes, I told him. ALON H.: Ugh, too bad, I wanted to let him know myself. You have passed successfully. Well done. You're through. ALON AND HEN: Thanks a lot! TZIPI: And now for the hint, you must reachKlezmer-Hois in the Jewish Quarter, where the next hint awaits you. Good luck. C-HEN: It was so fun to talk to them. C-ALON A.: Yes, they're so funny. Wow. Well, we poured them, no? We did not just pour them. C-HEN: Yes, yes. C-ALON A.: We literally poured them out. Bravo. ALON H.: Thank you, thank you all. Anavi, Tzipi, Nachmias, we're dying for you here in Poland, returning the broadcast to Jadek. C-ALON H.: What were they laughing at? Torn, lying on the floor, the device shook with laughter. ALON H.: Come on. HEN: Come, Alon, come. To the right. ALON AND HEN, CURRENTLY IN FIRST PLACE ALON A.: Detour. HEN: Detour. RON SHAHAR: A Detour mission is a choice between two possible tasks. Each has advantages and disadvantages. At the current Detour the choice is between two Polish milestones, Men of Chelm or Matzo Balls. RON SHAHAR: In Men of Chelm teams will need to fill a well with water while walking backwards, a familiar and logical act of Chelm. Couples have to carry six buckets of water using a stick on their backs. They must hurry to the well, because in Chelm as in Chelm buckets there is a hole. Only after the pair manages to fill the well with water until the marked line will receive the next hint. TRANSLITERATOR’S NOTE: Visit the Wikipedia page and the associated links for context. RON SHAHAR: In Matzo Balls, the couples will have to identify two songs while eating matzo balls in a Jewish restaurant. The accordion player will play them only one note at a time from a well-known Hasidic song. For each note they do not recognize, they will have to eat two matzo balls each to ‘buy’ another note from the player. The more notes they buy, the more matzo balls they will have to eat. Only after they sing the song and eat a lot of matzo balls will the accordionist give them the next hint. ALON A.: Buckets? HEN: I do not know, what do you say? It would have seemed far away, Alon. ALON A.: Let's try, Hen. HEN: Yes? ALON A.: Or to the Israeli songs? What should we do? HEN: Well, let's try it. ALON A.: So come on, Hen, buckets. Come on. HEN: Buckets. ALON A.: Well, Hen, you have to choose one pole, three buckets. ALON A: Put a bucket marked inside, until the end. Put it on me. HEN: Are you holding? ALON A.: Yes. ALON A.: Come on, Chen, you're steering. C-ALON A.: We arrived first, like that, from the journal. I said to myself, come on, today you finish first, do not think of anything, crush everyone on the way. HEN: Caution, something between us. Caution. ALON AND OREN, CURRENTLY IN SECOND PLACE ALON H.: Okay, Men of Chelm or Matzo Balls. ALON H.: We have no chance with these songs, we'll make the water, in my opinion. HEN: Come on, come on. ALON H.: Here, here's the water, here's the water. HEN: You. To you, to you, Aloni. C-ALON H.: When we got there, I saw Alon and Hen. ALON A.: Hen, need to hurry. C-ALON H.: The killer, the killer, the superhuman, the human machine. HEN: Come to me, come to me. OREN: Put it in the nearest buckets first. ALON H.: Come on, stand, are you standing? OREN: Standing. ALON H.: Stable? OREN: Yes. ALON H.: Come on, go. ALON H.: There, strong right? ALON A.: Just do what you do, do not go ahead. C-ALON A.: Need to take a pole, hold it on both of our backs, walk backwards. ALON A.: Wait, wait, wait. C-HEN: I have the advantage that my neck is long. C-ALON A.: Hen could see the back better. C-HEN: Like a giraffe. C-ALON A.: I did not see the back well. C-HEN: My range of motion is much larger. ALON A.: There is no one like you, no, what a champion. Need to hurry, waste time. Stop, leave me, put the buckets. Come on, put them on, nimble, nimble, nimble. ALON A.: There are holes in the bucket, Hen! HEN: Alon, strong. Be strong, be strong. ALON A.: Come here, come here. ALON H.: Hold on. C-ALON H.: You have three stations where at each station you have to add more buckets in order to get to the well with as much water as possible and reach the amount of water that will actually give you the next hint. HEN: Do not yell at me like an animal right now here, people will think we've gone crazy. ALON H.: Watch out, watch out, it's falling. HEN: Hold on, Alon, hold on, are you holding on? ALON A.: Wait a minute, no, not yet, not yet, hold on, hold on. C-ALON A.: It's so hard to hold it, you have to give one weight, and pull here so that it does not fall, after all, if one bucket falls, we go back. C-ALON H.: It was hard for me. ALON H.: Occasionally look back. C-ALON H.: It's clear to me that I'm going out there in pain for two or three days. At the level of serious injury. Hard. C-OREN: Really very difficult. C-ALON H.: As Tova says, difficult. HEN: You have? ALON A.: Hen, listen, you have to do it fast. I can no longer hold the buckets. OREN: Come on, Alon. Alon, I'm having a hard time balancing. HEN: Alon, you must have it now. ALON A.: Yes, holding, holding. C-ALON A.: Hen thinks I'm a Robocop, Hen thinks I can take a building and juggle it like that. She does not understand that I am human. HEN: Strong. ALON A.: Quickly, Hen, it hurts! Well done, you passed successfully. ANAELLE: Thank you very much, souls, love you. AKIVA: Thank you very much. You need to get to Klezmer-Hois. ANAELLE: The name will save, where is the hint? Oh, here, there. ANAELLE AND AKIVA, CURRENTLY IN THIRD PLACE ANAELLE AND AKIVA: Detour. AKIVA: Men of Chelm or Matzo Balls. ANAELLE: What do you think? AKIVA: I'm hungry. ANAELLE: Okay. Come on. C-AKIVA: I was actually glad there were kneidlach. C-ANAELLE: Yes. C-AKIVA: Finally, a proper lunch. TRANSLITERATOR’S NOTE: I’m switching to the Hebrew spelling everywhere outside of the Detour name. Skip ANAELLE: No, no, no, no, that’s not it. C-ANAELLE: The task was to identify the song you are playing, C-AKIVA: And it starts with one note really, with one note you can know nothing. Do. Okay, what song starts with a Do? ANAELLE: Well, what will you do? Are you eating? AKIVA: Okay. ANAELLE: Okay…tasty? AKIVA: Salty. ANAELLE: Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the world, that all things may be in His word. AKIVA: Amen. C-ANAELLE: In order to hear the next note each time, you need to eat two kneidlach each time. The more you eat, the more notes you can discover and thus identify the song you are playing. AKIVA: Every Passover I eat kneidlach, this is my favorite dish on Passover. C-ANAELLE: He will arrive with an empty stomach. C-AKIVA: I'm dying for kneidlach. AKIVA: It’s almost Passover, I’m happy. C-ANAELLE: The truth is that Akiva really has no problem eating quantities of food normally. AKIVA: It's delicious. Having fun, lunch. ANAELLE: What? AKIVA: Score, score, score… ANAELLE: No, no, The whole world is a very narrow bridge very narrow bridge AKIVA: Get up, dance, have to dance. Skip ANAELLE: Well, we tried. AKIVA: Let's take two, start with the small ones. Take it. ANAELLE: It's full of water. AKIVA: Yes it was in the soup. Eat. ANAELLE: Okay. ANAELLE: Jerusalem of ... AKIVA: Score, score, score ... ANAELLE: Can you do it again? AKIVA: Jerusalem of Gold... ANAELLE: Do you want to go to the water, fill the well? AKIVA: Shosha, I'm trying to concentrate. ANAELLE: You do not prefer to go slowly but finish with something? AKIVA: Whatever you want, Shosha, you discourage me before we begin. ANAELLE: Let's try to eat another one. This is very difficult for me, Akiva. ANAELLE: Your mothers’ are more delicious. Skip C-MOTI: All the couples overtook us and we stayed last but we said, we will not be frustrated no matter what, no matter what, we keep going, stopping, thinking. And do it over and over again until you succeed. PUNDAK: Very good, very good. Do we have any more people? MOTI: No. Skip Let them breathe. Skip C-MOTI: We learned in this race it is very easy to deteriorate in position. We arrived on a mission first and we left last. Skip PUNDAK: Come on. MOTI: Come on. PUNDAK AND MOTI, CURRENTLY IN LAST PLACE MOTI: Here, okay, come on. Skip MOTI: Well, we decided to put a U-turn today, as usual, we do not change our thinking, Alon and Hen, they are the guys we put them. Why, they are a very strong couple, they are a couple that threatens us. PUNDAK: They are a couple that upsets us. MOTI: We do not tolerate them. PUNDAK: On a personal level. Love you all. C-PUNDAK: We are a strong couple but at the same time we are a very sociable couple, we help everyone, we are everyone's friends. HEN: Backwards. ALON A.: Hen, what a champion you are, what a champion you are. C-PUNDAK: We are not Alon and Hen. The man must go up to her every morning, saying, Hen, Hen ... let's get in them today. MOTI: Let’s go, open the boot. MOTI: In the end, we succeeded, we were overtaken by all of them, never mind. Now we're gonna narrow it down. Skip TOM AND ADELE, CURRENTLY IN FOURTH PLACE BAR AND INNA, CURRENTLY IN FIFTH PLACE INNA: Wow, I closed the trunk for him. BAR: You and cars are something that must never be together. TOM: Go. TOM: Hello. INNA: Hi! Hi, Bar and Inna. BAR: What's up? Okay, like that. C-BAR: We called, Tzipi Shavit answered, I spoke to Tzipi as if she were my friend, hello, Tzipi, what's up? How’s it going? And start telling them the jokes. INNA: Why does a Polish woman close her eyes during sex? Because she can not see others enjoying. Great, bravo. Moved. Original. C-BAR: The truth is, I do not know that much, my mother also sometimes has a behavior that is quite Polish, so that's how I took some things like that with me from home. BAR: What is the name of someone who marries a Pole? Shahid. (also means martyr..if that’s what the joke was) Shahid! Excellent. Skip CARMIT: Go, go, Ossie. OSNAT: What's her name? Here, here. OSNAT AND CARMIT, CURRENTLY IN SIXTH PLACE ADELE: Come on, my life, tell them. TOM: Okay, a Pole is coming home, her husband is preparing a romantic meal for her, doing everything to make her feel good, the Pole answers him, only meals you know how to prepare for me, you will start buying me diamonds already. Was that the joke? TOM: Um, well… TOM: Okay, a Pole returning home after a day of work with a rifle and standing in front of the mirror. Her husband asks her, what are you doing? The Pole responds, I’m trying to commit suicide. C-TOM: I, I have no idea about jokes about Poles, I'm more about lunatics, Kurds, Georgians, I do not know, but about ... Ashkenazim, do not know, I got blacked out. ADELE: Well, well, mami, tell her. TOM: A Yemeni goes to an Ethiopian, tells him, what's up, my brother, you're from our family, no? Doing to him, what are you talking to me about, I'm not related to you. TOM: Well, Hanush, Hanush, flow with us, give us the okay. OSNAT: Three men robbed a bank, each went in a different direction, the Moroccan, they chased after him, found him under the car, asked him, what are you doing under the car? Said, I'm fixing the exhaust. Ran after the Iraqi, grabbed him under the Vespa, he said, I'm fixing the puncture here. They told him, get on, get in the car. Then they ran after the Pole, found him under the donkey, said to him, What are you doing under the donkey? Said, I do not know, now I was just born. Very great. INNA: Why is a Polish husband guaranteed a place in heaven? Why? INNA: Because he has already been in hell. Bravo. That was excellent. TOM: A Polish man's wife came to his funeral after he died...ehhh…..I do not understand this, mami, I do not understand this joke. TOM: Well, that's good too, it kind of counts as a laugh too, I guess. C-TOM: What I did was I really started thinking about Kurdish and crazy jokes and turning it into Ashkenazi. C-ADELE: To the Poles. C-TOM: And letting them flow with me. Just an example, for example two lunatics sitting on a motorcycle. TOM: Two nervous crazy Poles riding a motorcycle, what are they arguing about? C-TOM: Who was sitting by the window. TOM: Who was sitting by the window. TOM: We made them laugh, listen, that was the biggest laugh they'll have since the beginning of the day. C-TOM: What a great move I made there. OSNAT: A Pole says to her husband, oh my husband, I need a curtain in the bedroom. Tell her, why? She said to him, the neighbour looks at me and sees my chest. So he told her, so he should put on the curtain then, why me? Well done. You passed the task. Well done! TZIPI: Great cool jokes. OSNAT: Come on, come on. ALON A.: Very good, champion you, champion. ALON H.: Excellent. ALON H.: Slowly, slowly, do not lose the bucket. ALON A.: Wait. HEN: Over. C-ALON A.: Hen was in this task responsible, one, for the pace. HEN: With me, with me, with me, come. C-ALON A.: Two, for directing us backwards. ALON A.: What now? HEN: With you, your side, drive. Push him back. C-HEN: As if we have this segment that we do not even think about who will do what in the mission. C-ALON A.: Yes, it just flows. C-HEN: We know in advance. ALON A.: Wait, Hen, wait. HEN: Wait, I'm downloading one by one. ALON A.: Start downloading. Stand up, stand up already. ALON A.: There is no one like you, no one like you. C-ALON A.: We did one round and I was already happy. C-ALON A.: He put the board to me with the gaugestick and it did not reach. ALON A.: Come on, go. ALON H.: Look, he arrived with nothing. ALON A.: Go. C-ALON A.: We went, did it one more time, added some more water. I see the brothers next to us, at a good pace but not as good as ours. C-ALON H.: The feeling is that it's close, it's a close battle, it's a matter of minutes. ALON H.: Run, wasting time, run. C-ALON H.: And the word ‘partner’ is the root of the story. OREN: No, no, do not give me half, do not give me half! HEN: Wait, I'm going through first. ALON A.: Wait, wait, slowly, slowly. HEN: You second. HEN: Come on, we got to the bucket. ALON H.?: Be careful. ALON A.: Wait, push me, push the buckets at me. ALON H.: Wait, I can load the buckets, that's what I'll do. OREN: No, no, no, I can not hold, can not hold, put on the other side! ALON A.: Start downloading. HEN: I already downloaded the first one. ALON A.: Come on. OREN; Can not hold! ALON H.: We are completely empty! What is not clear to you? Empty! HEN: Come on, come on. Skip Thank you very much. HEN: Okay, Alon, together. ALON A.: Not to spill, slowly. Skip C-HEN: He was a smart Chelm dreamer, by the way, this man? ALON AND HEN, CURRENTLY IN FIRST PLACE HEN: Thank you, my dear. You must reach the Prima Ballerina located in the Opera Krakowska Ballet Studio. RON SHAHAR: The couples must now arrive at the "Opera Krakowska" ballet studio. Here awaits them the amazing teacher and dancer, Magda, as well as a very personal experience in tutu skirts, pink shoes and pirouettes in the style of Swan Lake. On the way they will have to go through the exposure board, where they will find out which of the teams will be forced to make a U-turn in this section of the race. HEN: Please note, on the way there you have to go through the exposure board. ALON AND HEN: Watch out, U-Turn ahead. HEN: Come on. ALON A.: Come on, whip. C-HEN: We got the address, I figured there might be a chance it might be in the area. HEN: Alon, the exposure panel is in... you have to go through it. Well, what's the deal? Skip C-HEN: I was told it was supposed to be in the area, continue straight. Alon and Chen start running like horses after the cart. C-HEN: Running, running, running, getting tangled up.