How to Book a MIAM - And What Happens After You Do What Booking a MIAM Meant for Me as a Dad Who Almost Went Straight to Court “We just couldn’t talk anymore...” We didn’t expect things to end this way. At first, it was small disagreements. Then silence. Then arguments that went nowhere. Every conversation turned into frustration. We both wanted things to work, but we couldn’t even agree on where to start. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. When communication breaks down, it can feel impossible to move forward, especially when children, finances, and a shared home are involved. That’s where a MIAM appointment comes in. It’s the first step towards resolving things without going straight to court. This guide explains how to book a MIAM, what actually happens in the meeting, and what comes next, through our experience. What Is a MIAM (And Why We Had to Attend One) A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is usually required before applying to the family court in England and Wales. It’s not mediation itself. It’s a one-to-one meeting with a trained mediator. The purpose is simple: ● To explain how mediation works ● To see if it’s suitable for your situation ● To explore whether you can resolve issues without court At first, we thought it was just another “box to tick.” But it turned out to be much more helpful than we expected. If you want a detailed breakdown, this guide to MIAM UK explains what to expect in more depth. How We Chose to Book a MIAM We didn’t know where to start. We had both spoken to friends and searched online. Everything pointed us in different directions, solicitors, court, mediation. In the end, we decided to book a MIAM because: ● It was quicker than going to court ● It gave us a chance to talk things through ● It didn’t commit us to mediation if it wasn’t right Booking was straightforward. We chose an online appointment and picked a time that worked for us. What Happens in a MIAM Appointment 1. You Attend Separately This surprised us. We didn’t sit in the same room. Each of us had our own private meeting with the mediator. That made it easier to speak honestly. 2. The Mediator Listens, Without Taking Sides The mediator asked simple questions: ● What’s happened so far? ● What are you worried about? ● What would you like to resolve? There was no judgement. No pressure. Just a calm conversation. 3. You Learn About Mediation We were told how joint sessions work, including: ● How discussions are structured ● How agreements are recorded ● How finances and child arrangements are handled It made things feel more manageable. 4. Suitability Is Assessed Not every situation is right for mediation. The mediator checked: ● Whether we felt safe ● Whether we could engage in discussions ● Whether mediation could realistically help This step is important. Mediation must be appropriate for both people. What Is a MIAM Certificate? At the end of the meeting, we learned about the MIAM certificate. This is a section within your court application form (such as a C100 or Form A). It confirms that: ● You attended a MIAM, or ● Mediation was considered but not suitable If you decide to go to court, you will usually need this. You can read more about how a MIAM certificate works and when it’s required. What Happened After Our MIAM This is where things changed for us. Option 1: Move Forward with Mediation We both agreed to try it. The mediator contacted the other person (in our case, each other after separate MIAMs), and we booked a joint session. In those sessions, we started to: ● Talk about a parenting schedule ● Discuss finances in a structured way ● Actually listen to each other It wasn’t perfect. But it was progress. Option 2: If One Person Says No Sometimes, one person doesn’t want to continue. If that happens: ● The process stops ● You can proceed to court ● The MIAM certificate allows you to apply Even in those cases, attending a MIAM shows the court you’ve considered other options. Option 3: Mediation Is Not Suitable In some situations, mediation may not be appropriate. For example: ● Safety concerns ● Lack of engagement ● Complex circumstances If that applies, the mediator will confirm this, and you can still move forward with other options. Why the MIAM Helped Us (Even Before Mediation Started) Looking back, the MIAM was more than just a requirement. It helped us: ● Slow things down ● Understand our options ● Feel heard for the first time in months Even though we couldn’t communicate before, that one conversation changed the tone. Practical Tips Before You Book a MIAM If you’re thinking about taking this step, here are a few things that helped us: ● Be Honest You don’t need to have everything figured out. Just explain your situation as it is. ● Think About Your Priorities Is it your children? Your home? Finances? Knowing what matters most can help guide the conversation. ● Keep an Open Mind You don’t have to commit to mediation. The MIAM is simply about exploring your options. ● Write Down Questions We both forgot things we wanted to ask. A quick list helps. Where to Start If you’re feeling stuck, taking the first step can feel difficult. Booking a MIAM appointment is the simplest way to begin. It gives you space to talk, understand your options, and decide what works for your situation, without pressure. If you’re ready to take that step, you can Book a MIAM online today. Final Thought We started in a place where we couldn’t even have a conversation. The MIAM didn’t fix everything overnight. But it gave us a starting point. And sometimes, that’s all you need.