Split Chapter 3 Angel waited patiently in the Helicarrier interrogation room with Devil. They were supposed to be kept in separate rooms, as was protocol, Angel reminded them, but everyone else seemed uneasy in keeping the two apart. Perhaps they felt as if keeping them together might spontaneously cause them to fuse into Peter again. Angel knew it wouldn’t work. He had already forced Devil to try in a series of hugs and dances. His obsession with Steven Universe proved not very useful once again. Devil groaned in the corner where he’d dragged his chair. “Will somebody just question us already so we can move on!” He said loudly towards the mirror. “I’m sure they’ll come soon. This must be a lot to take in for them.” Angel knew. It was a lot to take in for himself. “We all know what’s going to happen anyway,” Devil rebutted. “We’ll provide what little info we have, they’ll keep searching for some way to get Peter back, and knowing our luck that’ll be impossible.” “Don’t say that!” The thought was distressing. “Everyone would be so sad if they lost us!” “Oh they won’t lose us. They’ve still got you. You and I both know Spider-Man will be so much better with you running things.” “Well, of course we’ll do our best to fill in for as long as needed, but two Spider-Men won’t make up for the one they know.” “I never said I would be Spider-Man.” Angel’s lenses widened. “Devil, no, don’t say that!” “It won’t be my idea. Shield will never allow a Devil Spider-Man. I won’t even get the civilian side of things. No one would recognize me.” “You’re just as much a part of Peter as I am. They’ll see that once we talk it over.” “That’s not true and you know it.” “But—I mean—Image isn’t everything!” Devil’s mask was deadpan. “Okay so image is a lot, but you’re a person now, same as me, same as—“ “Neither of us is the same as Peter.” Angel didn’t have a rebuttal to that. The silence stretched on for a few minutes. Angel looked around the room, trying to find some other words of encouragement. When his gaze fell on Devil again, he gasped. “How did you do that?!” Devil hadn’t moved an inch, but he was no longer in red spandex. His face was visible, identical to Peter’s. The differences were in the rest of him. His hair was messier than Peter typically allowed. A red leather jacket replaced Peter’s purple button up. His jeans were ripped. And was that— “Did you pierce your ears?!” Angel exclaimed. “Reality doesn’t apply to us like it should. You can feel it.” Angel did feel it, but he wasn’t about to use that power to give Aunt May a heart attack! “I appreciate providing some visual differences, but don’t feed into any theories that we’re not Peter!” “We aren’t Peter. Don’t try to pretend that we are. And don’t be such a baby about it. The spandex was starting to chafe.” Well, spandex indeed not for prolonged wear. “I’m sure it will be easier for them if we stay masked until a solution is found.” “Their happiness is irrelevant if it means I’m supposed to sit here stuck in the suit for even one more minute!” Devil shouted. Shouted angrily. Peter’s face wasn’t supposed to look that upset, but Devil had a point, they weren’t Peter individually. “Maybe I’ll change if we’re stuck here another hour,” Angel acquiesced. Somehow he preferred the idea of two Peters being seen rather than a Peter and a Spider-Man. That just wasn’t right. They did in fact remain in the room for another two hours before Angel begrudgingly shifted into his own version of civvies. Devil laughed at his apparent “geekness” for a while until the door finally opened. 0o0 “Well, shit,” Fury muttered at the sight two Peter Parkers sitting in his interrogation room. Coulson nodded beside him. “At least they’re remaining clear on who is who.” “I’m more concerned with their apparent ability to morph their appearance at will.” “Can we just ask them at this point?” Sam asked petulantly. “You haven’t even gotten a sorcerer person to reply, let alone come!” “And they are connected to Peter somehow, which means we can trust them,” Danny added. Fury had his reservations about the red one, but they sure as hell weren’t getting anywhere sitting here waiting. “Alright, let’s go in. I want you all analyzing for all deviation from Peter’s typical character. Avoid assumptions. We need to know if these two truly are Peter Parker or not. And before you jump to his defense, know that Strange has dealt with shapeshifting demons before. We can’t be caught off guard.” Not with someone they all trusted so naturally. “Yes sir,” Ava was the first to promise, though he already knew she would be the first to break it with how protective she was of Parker. The entered as a group. This crowded the interrogation room more than Fury liked, but it was better than having the team shouting suggestions through the intercom throughout the conversation. “Took you long enough,” the one they were calling Devil muttered. He certainly looked the part with those bat wings. Small horns poked through his hair. Fury had never once seen Parker in a leather jacket or ripped jeans, so that was also a first. The earrings suggested they could change more than just their outfits. “We’re both just glad to see you all again,” the Angel said. He half stood for greeting, but quickly noticed no one was willing to get close just yet. His blue button-down was a lot more of Parker’s typical style, which made the angel wings and halo that much more painful. Fury hoped this situation was as metaphorical and magical as it seemed. He didn’t need another dead soldier on his conscious, not one so young. “We need you to answer some questions. We’re still figuring out the situation.” “So neither of you are really Peter?” Danny asked. Angel shook his head. “No, we’re not. But that doesn’t mean he’s gone! Peter is still with us!” “How exactly?” “How do I explain this . . .” Devil sighed tiredly. “To explain where Peter is we need to explain where we came from. You all should know the cartoon trope of having an angel and a devil on your shoulder. That’s what we are. Peter’s ‘conscience’ or whatever.” He used air quotes. There was a beat of silence, consideration. “Wait, so Pete took that literally? Like he imagined you both? Or am I just missing my angel and devil?” Sam glanced at the others as if truly wondering if that was something normal to have. “Well . . . Yes, in a way,” Angel answered awkwardly. “He never considered us real, but when it came to morally complicated decisions he always imagined us, as a way to organize his thoughts more than anything.” “Oh yes, wondering if he should eat the last cookie is such a difficult decision,” Devil said derisively. “How long was this going on?” Fury asked. “For as long as any of us can remember, though we certainly came up a lot more once he became Spider- Man.” “You’re saying you’re both parts of Peter he imagined in his mind?” Luke asked. “And now you’re in the real world?” “Correct. That’s why we’re not Peter. We are parts of him, yes, but not his whole being.” “You said Parker is still with us. Where?” Fury was dreading the answer. “He’s our imaginary shoulder buddy now,” Devil answered bluntly. “So he’s here? Kind of,” Ava said hopefully. “Can he hear us? Is he saying anything?” Angel and Devil exchanged a look. Angel spoke. “As far as I can tell, the swap, for lack of a better term, was complete. Peter didn’t imagine us all the time. We popped up rather subconsciously whenever he was torn. The same appears to apply to him. He was present at the start when we were battling Goblin, but once that was over, we haven’t seen him.” That was . . . Definitely one of the top ten craziest things Fury had ever heard. “You can’t just imagine him right now?” “It doesn’t work like that, sorry. Peter never did just think of us on command.” “What if we give you moral turmoil then?” Sam suggested excitedly. “Quick, imagine you’re at railroad tracks, and there’s one person stuck in one track and five people in the other. The train has to go on one track or the other. But, the five people are the five worst criminals in the world. Like they’re murderers and stuff. Oh, and the train is aimed at a dead end, so you have to switch the tracks in order to save the people onboard.” Fury would have rolled his eyes with the rest of the team if he hadn’t dealt with a frighteningly similar situation just last month. Angel looked horrified. “I can’t make that kind of decision!” Devil looked intrigued. “Hm, if we know the identity of the five people, do we know the single person and the ones on the train? What have they done—” “Peter’s here!” Angel reported. Nothing had changed for the onlookers, but Angel was now looking at something unseen on his shoulders. “Huh, I don’t see him,” Devil said. “I guess only one of us can talk to him at a time then?” Angel was too busy arguing. “Well, sure we know we would have to do something, but we also can’t just decide who lives and who dies!” He paused. “Yes, yes, responsibility and all that, but the murderers are still people! People shouldn’t die!” Another pause. “THIS IS NOTHING LIKE ORDER OF PERMUTATIONS!” On one hand, Fury was feeling more confident that these two were in fact connected to Parker even if he was invisible to everyone else. On the other hand, two Parkers were absolutely worse than one. “Care to share with the class?” Angel went quiet immediately, blushing. “Sorry! Um, so yes, Peter appeared to me now. He can see you and hear you all. Uh, do you mind if we test Devil’s theory?” Angel raised a hand and flicked his fingers. He blinked. “Huh, yes, he can be with only one of us at a time.” Devil groaned. “Oh great, thanks, Ange. Now he’s trying to talk me down from letting the murderers take the hit.” “Before he disappears again, I want to hear how Parker is doing. Does he know anything more than you two?” Fury tried to get the questions back on track. “No, he’s just as confused as us. More, actually. Angel and I have gotten mighty familiar with how this system works. He’s still getting used to it.” Devil quirked an eyebrow at his shoulder. “He says he feels fine. He’s still freaking out over being small. And he wants to make it clear that he thinks Sam is a butthead.” “Peter would not say that!” Angel said. “Send him back to me!” “Gladly.” Another flick. Angel listened for a moment. “Peter does not think Sam is a butthead.” He seemed to hold his breath. “Most of the time,” he added in a rush. “Peter, really, we really shouldn’t be saying things like that! But, uh, he is indeed feeling okay. He says not to worry about him. Ah, yes, being in subconscious limbo is rather boring, I know. He says to please try to get this resolved as soon as possible. He misses being real. And eating. Oh, you should be able to imagine some food for yourself. There you go! And it’s always exactly how you remember it! And just so you know, I agree, we could stop the train with our webs. Or I think we should also be strong enough to just catch it by hand—Oh, oh dear, I shouldn’t have decided so soon.” Angel turned to them shamefully. “I’m sorry, he disappeared again. I decided on a course of action, so the discussion was over.” “P—Angel, focus.” In the chance that this was all an elaborate charade, Fury would not allow himself to become attached to these two. Plus he had no doubt in his mind that even together they couldn’t replace the Parker he knew. “Do any of you know what caused you to swap places with Parker? Can we get the item from the Sanctum?” “Not possible.” Devil didn’t sugarcoat it. “We know it was the mirror. None of us know how, but we can feel it, ya know? But we destroyed it in the process. Probably shattering it caused this. Seven years of bad luck and all that.” “Don’t say poor Peter is stuck like this for seven years!” Angel frowned. “I could say it’s not so bad, but the whole ‘only existing during moral discussions’ is a drag. Honestly, I’m kind of liking this freedom.” Devil caught Fury’s gaze, and Fury recognized that look as Parker’s scheming face. “And if it does take seven years to fix, you’ll need someone to keep up Pete’s identities, right?” Fury stared pointedly at their wings. “Last I checked, Parker didn’t have any supernatural features.” “Oh right.” Devil closed his eyes tight. His wings and horns seemed to melt into oblivion. “Better?” “Hold up, how are you doing that? We heard you say something about messing with reality earlier. But— how?” Ava asked. “The best explanation I can offer is that this is how Peter imagined us,” Angel said. “We always were able to do things like this, even summon props. I feel no different about what I’m capable of now, so I suppose our entire concept of being transferred to real life? But that includes defying reality?” “We physically run on cartoon logic,” Devil summarized. “Pete’s got quite the imagination.” He placed a hand behind his back, and when he pulled it in front again he held a gun. The room erupted into chaos as the team tried to grab it, which culminated in Devil pointing the barrel at his own head and pulling the trigger. Confetti and a scroll which unfurled to say ‘BAM’ flew out. “Come on, as if Pete would ever use a real gun. I’m far more amenable to violence and even I wouldn’t touch a real one.” The team was still shellshocked so Fury asked, “That leads me to my next question, and one that’s necessary before we make any arrangements to protect Parker’s identity: If neither of you are Peter, then who are you really? It sounds like I would be correct in guessing that you’re the version of Peter unrestrained by rules and morals while Angel is the good one.” Devil got angry at that. There was fury in his eyes, but also hurt. “Oh sure, stereotype us why don’t you!” “He does have a point though, you are the one meant to suggest bad things while I suggest good,” Angel confirmed. “Don’t act like it’s so black and white! You’re the one who would’ve killed him if I hadn’t convinced him otherwise!” “It was the right thing to do!” “Pete’s a person! What happened to ‘no person should die’?!” “Explain, now,” Fury interrupted harshly. Angel opened his mouth but Devil beat him to it. “There have been at least five occasions where Angel over here decided Pete sacrificing himself would be the best choice! And that’s just counting the ones after he became Spider-Man! I know because those were most of the rare times Pete actually sided with me! We’d all be dead without me!” “You know he still regrets staying alive!” “And who’s fault is that?” “It’s only natural to regret what’s morally wrong!” “How in all of heaven and earth is it wrong to want to live?!” “How in hell can you live with what we’ve done?!” Sam coughed, which brought everything to an abrupt silence. Angel and Devil stared at the group shamefully. “I don’t think I’m used to existing in real life,” Angel said quietly.