THE TRUMPETTE A time of the signs August/September 2020 Trump: First Term in Review. We’ve got you COVI’D Edition www.AntiTrump.com DON OF THE DAMNED Inside: Inside: Dark times ahead: The Antichrist prepares for the final battle Exclusive Q and A Exclusive Q and A With QAnon Creator With QAnon Creator Lisa Frank releases Lisa Frank releases Trump Collection Trump Collection Secret Magic Square Code We News Well. We Word good. The Trumpette 2 A PICTURE from Lisa Frank’s new Donald Trump collection is displayed. Frank’s art installment will be available until December. (Photos provided by Lisa Frank Studios) End of the Rainbow ‘Trump Collection’ raises eyebrows, questions Karen Crowley Entertainment Editor NEW YORK -- Lisa Frank, the brain behind numerous dolphins and friend- ly tigers, released the “Donald Trump Col- lection” Saturday, July 11. Titled “I Just Don’t Care Anymore,” the exclusive art exhib- it’s soft opening took place in a former slaughterhouse on the outskirts of the SoHo district. The organizer for the show, Frank’s handler and psychi- atrist Joseph Dimes, described the event as “probably the last time Lisa will be taking part in a public event”. The works depict- ed various forms of Trump’s face in the classic style that fans of Frank have come to know and love throughout the lengthy tenure of her career. Rainbows, vague shapes of ani- mals and occasional smears of dried blood vibrantly came to life on the canvases hung throughout the ware- house. Frank’s creativi- ty didn’t stop there. Frank made the bold choice to have her work hung from a variety of old meat hooks, once used to keep skinned and bloody bovine corps- es from touching the floor, as a method for displaying her art. “I just don’t see the use in all of this any- more,” Frank said in a candid interview on the loading dock while a trembling hand took another drink from a bottle of Early Times. “You make this name for yourself creating pictures of life and whimsy.” Lighting a cigarette she added, “I can’t do it anymore. We’re in an epidemic. How the fuck does a cat riding a unicorn fit into any of that? Why am I providing a message of hope to children when it was over 100 in the Artic Circle?” Jason Bourbon, Frank’s former AA sponsor and life-coach, who also attended the showing, explained that the artist had been experiencing a number of hardships leading up to the event, which provided inspiration for her to create these masterpieces. “Lisa will always be the one I know I could have done more for,” he explained. “I guess I could have been more supportive. I knew for sure when she sent me her 20- year [sobriety] token. I thought she sent me a painting. It was a painting of Donald Trump. The metal coin had been cut in two, a broken half shoved into each of his eyes.” When asked if Frank’s return to alcoholism was in some way a transition back to a more pure form of art, Bourbon respond- ed “What the fuck is wrong with you? Who do you work for again?” The Trumpette 3 USPS mail increasingly finds itself in swirling black hole Has your mail service been running slow lately? This may be due to swirling black holes that are becoming increas- ingly larger. First noticed in several USPS hubs in major cities, the phenomena has now spread to include smaller metro areas. “We noticed it last month next to a sorting machine. We tried unplugging the machine but that just seemed to make it grow larger,” a postmaster in New York told us Monday. “We lost Larry [Geralds], our maintenance man to the thing last week. He got too close and it sucked him in. Got a call yesterday from a sorting hub in Milwaukee that Larry’s hat and glasses shot out of their vortex yesterday. We’re still trying to figure it out.” Bannon sends Best Friends Forever bracelet back to Trump In a stunning act of sev- ering his friendship with President Trump, former aide Steve Bannon mailed back his beaded “BFF” brace- let that Trump and he made shortly after Inauguration Day. “If he’s going to pretend like he doesn’t know me any- more then I guess this brace- let is as meaningless as the times we ate Fillet-o-Fishes and talked about ruining the lives of immigrants,” Bannon said in a phone call Friday. “It’s like he built the wall but instead of building it on the border: He built it around his heart. This has been devastating for me.” White House garden sees remodel to bury corpses The stunning and pictur- esque gardens hosted at the White House were recently renovated and remodeled with the help of First Lady Melania Trump and an un- disclosed group of Russian mobsters. Of the numerous changes made to the gardens were the addition of three new maple trees, the addition of roses and azaleas, and roughly thir- ty plots where a human could be buried inconspicuously. The plots, holes roughly six feet deep and seven feet long, were not explained by White House officials. When asked about if the holes were intended for hu- man remains, the First Lady responded that they are tradi- tional in Slovenian gardens. PICTURES FROM Lisa Frank’s new Donald Trump collection are displayed. Frank’s art installment will be available until December. (Photos pro- vided by Lisa Frank Studios) The Trumpette 4 Compiled by the AntiTrump Online Team AP etc. Since its inception, the “Q Movement” has gained a following of over half a mil- lion people who believe in “The Storm”, a far-flung prophecy of sorts that is be- lieved to be the end of the “Deep State.” We here at Antitrump.com have the ex- clusive interview with one of the original creators of the QAnon movement and the story of how it all began. Q: Who are you? A: My name isn’t something I give out very often and I change handles pretty often. I was one of seven peo- ple who originally created the QAnon movement. Q: How did you become involved in the Q movement? A: I first became involved in internet counter-culture through Cult of the Dead Cow, a hacktivist group that developed Back Orifice (a computer program that allowed a user to con- trol a computer running the Micro- soft Windows operating system from a remote location) and released it at the DEFCON 6 hacker convention in 1998. When WikiLeaks first went live, I was one of the individuals tasked with organizing the submissions and improving the tagging system. At that time, I and a few others were working directly with Julian Assange, whose handle was “Firefly.” At one point, our team disagreed with him over whether some information (such as a 747 maintenance manual that could be used to damage a commercial aircraft) should be released at all, with Julian asserting that all information should be open. Some of our team, however, felt that since we were in charge of the releas- es, we had a responsibility to protect information that could be used in acts of domestic terrorism. Specifically, with the 747 manual, members of our team felt we were crossing a line. Q: How did this develop into the Q Movement? A: It all started when the owner of 4chan and mod of the ADRTW sub- forum, “Moot”, stepped down from the site. I met Moot at a Vanity Fair function a few years back during a layover in California. After his exodus from the site, I helped with some ba- sic site structure and various janitori- al/admin work on 4chan. I was given admin-level access so that I could help out on the site. My access was higher than a normal maintenance account as a “thank you” for volunteering my time. At that time (this would have been in 2003), we hadn’t even dreamed up Q yet. I was just a site admin who deleted shitty posts when I was bored. Q: So we know that QAnon started on the 4chan forums. Can you tell us more about how exactly it got started? A: Initially it was kind of a push back on the massive propaganda machine that was working throughout the 2016 election cycle. Myself and six other individuals had noticed a very real disinformation campaign going back to 2015 that appeared to be a coordinated effort between US individuals and an entity that existed outside of the United States. So we knew what was possible. We had knowledge of fifferent “Anons” that had previously posted to 4chan claim- ing to be high-level members of various agencies (CIA Anon, HLA Anon, FBI Anon), all of which were proven fake. They either couldn’t handle the flood of user questions, or they were unable to produce “proof ” in the form of pho- tographs, etc. when asked. It was then that the idea of Q was introduced. Q: What was the original concept behind Q? A: One of our members, “Pamphlet” floated the idea of making our own “Anon.” It was basically a prank on the /pol/ subforum, since /pol/ is more or less a grooming farm for white nationalists to spread their message and ideals to an age range of 14-28. There were so many wild ac- cusations going around in the politi- cal forums, we just figured we could get more mileage out of it as a joke. We came up with a story so wild, we thought no one would believe it. We were “jumping the shark”, if you will. Just trying to get this bug in every- one’s ear that a high-ranking mem- ber of the administration was both a 4chan user and an ally in some gigantic war that no one knew about. The model for our “Anon” was based on the idea of someone like Stephen Miller. Where the previous attempts to troll /pol/ had failed, we were pre- pared. We knew we needed some form of authority because the same kind of thing had been attempted before, and we wanted it to be more absurd than that. Q: What inspired the idea for “Q level clearance”? Does it have any- thing to do with Archer? Q&A with QAnon Exclusive tell-all with creator Continued on Next Page PRESIDENT TRUMP speaks at a rally in July at the Tulsa Convention Center while a member of the audience holds a child up with a “Q” on its clothing. The Trumpette 5 A: We never directly said our Anon had a Q level clear- ance at first, but we chose the name Q because of the implication. Q level clear- ance is one of the highest clearances available in the US government, which we knew from working with Julian, and it was also a joke in an episode of Archer. We wanted to keep it intentionally vague at first, because like I said, this was essentially a prank we were playing on /pol/, the politics sub on 4chan. Our authority came in the form of tripcodes, which are the hash code of a password. They’re used to assign an identity on an anonymous account. The identity of the poster is still anonymous, but users can see whether posts are made by the same anonymous poster or someone else. Since I had that level of user access, I had the ability to assign tripcodes to certain accounts, which gave them a level of authority on the site. That got atten- tion because only a few users have a tripcode. Between the 7 of us, we all helped out to make it seem like the account was always watching, always ready to respond. Q: What can you tell me about the Q dispatches? A: Our first post was made 3 days before Halloween 2017. A friend of mine in the National Guard made a Facebook post about it being a pain in the ass that the NG was doing a training exercise in a few metro areas on the 30th. We used this as the “privileged info” in our first post. Everything else was fab- ricated, and ultimately unver- ifiable. The first “Q dispatch” focused on Hillary’s Clinton’s supposed extradition. “HRC extradition already in motion effective yesterday with several countries in case of cross border run. Passport approved to be flagged effec- tive 10/30 @ 12:01am. Expect massive riots organized in defiance and others fleeing the US to occur. US M’s will conduct the operation while NG activated. Proof check: Locate a NG member and ask if activated for duty 10/30 across most major cities.” Q: But Hillary Clinton was never extradited. Why did anyone believe the account after that? A: I don’t know. They shouldn’t have. We tried to make it incomprehensible. We probably should have stopped after that first post. But we didn’t. The next day, one of our group posted a series of questions, directing them to “hidden truths.” The next day (10/29/17) various members of our group con- tinued to post multiple times, leaving “breadcrumbs” for the masses to follow. We threw a lot out about older government projects, like Mockingbird, which gave our story a kind of govern- ment conspiracy aspect of truth. That’s partially why all the “dispatches” have a slightly different narrative. That’s the result of numerous individuals using the same account to publish drops, each with their own spin on the narrative we created. At some point, one of the 4chan users asked for ver- ification that Q was sitting in Air Force One, since the dispatches had implied Q had access to it. I have a friend from col- lege who actually went on to become a White House pool photographer. They are always on board AF1 going to rallies. We had them take a picture with a date and timestamp and posted it to the account with the Q trip- code. That’s all it took for the individuals on /pol/ to believe the story and start running with it. Q: What about “The Storm”? A: That was part of the over- shadowing narrative. The whole process of dropping these dispatches was woven into a story that there’s this undercurrent of a secret war going on against the Bad Guys. In this case, the Bad Guys were whoever /pol/ didn’t like. So, anyone liberal, anyone advocating for civil rights, any minority. We set up this narrative that there was this Big Thing com- ing and that Big Thing was going to make the Bad Guys go away. We kept building on that, but there was never any release date. It was always just Coming. Once things started heating up with the Manafort trials, Flynn, Mueller... with the way that events began escalating after Trump’s first year of presidency, that ended up supporting our side of the argument even more. It was day after day of newscycles that were crazier than the day before. Within a month of that first dispatch, people were making memes and photoshopping pictures to support the “Q Movement.” Then it was on Facebook. Then Twitter. People I worked with in real life started bring- ing it up, asking if I had heard of this “QAnon.” Shortly after that, people were showing up at rallies with Q signs and Q shirts. We hadn’t made any merchandise or anything our- selves. The whole thing was a prank and not a grift. But it was unsettling. Q: Unsettling how? A: We inadvertently created this completely different real- ity, where HRC really was ex- tradited and taken to tribunal. We purported that numerous other liberal figures were also taken, but we were always intentionally vague. We used dispatches filled with pointed questions to direct our users to fill in the gaps themselves. The narrative began to grow on its own. Now it included the death of Seth Rich, HRC’s emails and the strange out- of-context occurrences of the word “pizza.” It ballooned into a global conspiracy, impli- cating the Illuminati, Skull & Bones, Freemasons. It impli- cated major celebrities like they’re all addicted to adreno- chrome. The only basis we had for any of that being an actual thing was a scene from Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas. Q: It grew beyond your control? A: It just never should have had legs to begin with. It was absolutely absurd. Absurdity to the point where there was no way in our minds that it would float. It very quickly got to the point where it was completely out of control and none of us could jump off the ride because it was going too fast. We were just riffing a joke, flying by the seat of our pants, and we had individuals in the Trump campaign offer- ing money to fund Q. Q: Can you name those individuals? A: I have my suspicions, but we don’t have any records to prove where the money was coming from. Ironically, eventually we had a lot of support that we suspected was either from Stephen Miller himself, or individuals close to him. Q: Why are you coming out with your story now? A: It’s gone way too far. When the president of the United States is retweeting a hashtag, and you’re responsible for that hashtag, and people are running for office, and they’re saying things that you said in early dispatches, things you made up. We’re watching people run for office on a platform of parroting lies that were ini- tially intended to ruffle some feathers and maybe evoke a few chuckles. It’s become a worldwide phenomenon. And it’s seemingly unstoppa- ble at this point. Q: Are the same group of in- dividuals, yourself included, still involved? The current owner of 8kun (formerly 8chan) claims he doesn’t know who’s responsible. A: Three of the original 7 are. We ended up running into a problem maintaining veri- fication because our initial tripcode was pulled by 4chan. It took a while for anyone to notice, so we flew under the radar for a few weeks. The self-proclaimed QAnons began getting restless for drops though, so we moved the whole thing over to 8chan (where our members had ad- min access) and established a tripcode with Jim Watkins, the owner. The narrative we fed our followers was that 4chan had been compromised and was no longer a safe channel for our broadcast, with the low-key insinuation that the new owner, Hiroyuki Nishimura, wasn’t an Amer- ican citizen. In reality, I had only been given the admin level access as a favor from Moot, and the new owners had been busted me down to a general level mod- erator, which meant I no longer had the admin access to assign tripcodes. Jim is correct when he says that he does not know who any of us are by name or if it was more than one individ- ual. We intentionally kept that information hidden. It was shortly after the move to 8chan that our original group of 7 parted ways. Q: Why did you ultimately abandon the Q project? A: A number of reasons. First, it was out of control. Second, it was stressful. The same individuals who left Wikileaks over a 747 manu- al were now responsible for something that had far-reach- ing consequences. A message saying Hillary Clinton was going to be extradited that I posted drunk, based off a prank conceived on a message board, was now the reason a guy walked into a pizza place with a gun. Or convinced a guy to drive to an armored vehicle onto the Hoover Dam screaming “release the OIG report”. People were literal- ly murdered because of this fucking joke. Frank Cali may have been a mobster, but he definitely wasn’t a member of the “deep state.” People lost family members due to the SEE: QAnon, Page 8 MATTHEW WRIGHT (clockwise from top-left) arrested for blocking the Hovver Dam with an Armored Car and a rifle, a Boeing 747 Maintenance Journal from WikiLeaks, members at a rally hold up Q signs (2), Anthony Comello draws a Q on his hand in support after the murder of Frank Cali, Reporters gather at Ping-Pong Comet Pizza after the shooting. The Trumpette 6 DeVos: Killing kids is ‘very tough work’ Mic Michaelson Sunday Press Writer WASHINGTON -- Sec- retary of Education Betsy DeVos spoke candidly on NBC’s “Meet the Press” Sunday about the diffi- culties of her position in the wake of nationwide school lockdowns. “The biggest problem that I run into on a daily basis is that it’s just not as easy as I expected it to be to kill millions of school children,” said DeVos in her interview. “I guess I expected it to be as easy as pushing for a voucher system. It’s honestly harder than I expected. I’ve been spending a lot of time on The Modest Proposal this last week trying to come up with something more efficient.” The Modest Propos- al, the largest of DeVos’ luxury yachts, staffs between 11 to 15 young children purchased from numerous third-world countries for jobs like housekeeping, entertain- ment and who are oc- casionally used as floats in the yacht’s on-board lay-z-river. Recent comments from President Trump have indicated there may be planning underway to limit or remove federal funding from school sys- tems that refuse to open for on-campus learning while COVID-19 contin- ues to infect thousands daily. “The idea was mine exclusively,” DeVos said. “It seemed absolutely simple: Link funding to opening and if they don’t open, we’ll pull the rug from their federal funds. Then I sail the USS Voucher to the system, take it over and there’s another school under my wing.” [Editor’s note: USS Voucher is the name of another one of DeVos luxury yachts.] DeVos ended her ap- pearance saying, “I genu- inely thought this would be easier. I thought I could just throw around money and get everyone to charter schools. Now I’ve got at least 45 million children I have to mur- der. This fucking sucks.” Nancy Reagan’s occult collection found by Ivanka John Constantine Occult Correspondent WASHINGTON -- A morning cleaning of President Trump’s weekly collection of Fillet-O-Fish wrappers, Diet Coke cans, empty Adderall bottles and Sudaphed blister packs turned magical when daughter Ivanka Trump stumbled across the chest containing Nancy Reagan’s occult items. The chest, wrapped in the leathered hides of former presidents Taft, Ford and Roos- evelt, was located under numerous stacks of paper labeled “WATERGATE” that were placed there when a paper shredder jammed in the Oval Office during the Clin- ton presidency. Contents of the chest varied from mun- dane to mystical and included: A crystal ball, Tarot deck, numerous candles, a scrying bottle, several bloodstained daggers, a Ouiji board and numerous bottles of a medication used to treat dementia. Also located were several rolled marijuana joints in an otherwise empty box of Djarm Black clove cigarettes. Lighting one of the stale joints and mut- tering about never having any fun, Ivanka attempted to do a tarot reading. Sources close to her state that she has not played with a deck since her isolation on her own floor in Trump Tower and that one sum- mer she had a crush on Nick Carter from The Backstreet Boys. Drawing a standard Celtic Cross, each card displayed The Tower. This card is often associated with negative outcomes. Reshuffling the deck and then looking at each individual card, it did not appear to be a deck with more than one Tower card. A second drawing of Celtic Cross again only displayed The Tower. Ivanka moved to the Ouiji board as it had been since 1995 since she used one to ask if her father loved her (response: No) and if there was any way out of her present situation in 1999 (response: The Darkness is Here). “Spirit of Reagan, hear me! I have found your spiritual war chest. Please tell me: What do-” The indicator on the Ouiji board did not let her finish. It just kept spelling out “JELLYBEANS. JELLYBEANS. JELLY- BEANS” even after her hands left the board. The Basilica was contacted to address the matter. PRESIDENT TRUMP shows off a pizza pie he ordered while making a quick stop off his motorcade route in Pennsylvania on Thursday, Aug. 20, 2020. A LIKENESS of former President Ronald Reagan made entirely out of jellybeans was also recovered from the chest. President stops for a little cheese pizza while visiting Pennsylvania The Trumpette 7 Canned heat PRESIDENT TRUMP is seen giving a thumbs up in the Oval Office on Friday. Shortly after, the president attempted to summon a demon he called Goya that may have been the demon Malthus. TENDRILS OF MADNESS are seen arising from the ocean on Thurs- day. These events are generally considered a sign of the Dark Ones impending arrival. Trump summons demon Goya with beans Antonio LeVay White House Correspondent WHITE HOUSE -- Senior White House officials have confirmed that President Trump successfully contacted a demon from Hell’s legion on Friday. The entity, only refer- encing itself as “Goya, Bringer of Beans” was summoned after Trump arranged numerous Goya products into the shape of the Sigil of Baphomet. The President then formed a circle of Mary’s Crazy Salt around the sigil and began to speak in what was described as “a tongue long forgotten” by sev- eral officials who spoke on the condition of anonymity. Goya, while not a demon listed in the Lesser or Greater Keys of Solomon, was con- firmed to be an infernal crea- ture from the depths of Hell. White House interns were present at the summoning in the event the creature from the Dark Realm required blood sacrifice. They state that upon conjuration, the shad- ows took a form that looked like a large crow wearing hu- man pants and holding what appeared to be a masonry tool of some kind. Sources close to the incident stated that the unspeakable creature began to laugh. “Behold, meat puppet. It is I, Malth-- Goya! Keeper of secrets, lover of beans. Why have you summoned me here today,” the feathered being from Hell bellowed. Trump requested that all of his foes, specifically “Sleepy- Eyed Joe [Biden],” have sick- ness and “loserness” befall them in the upcoming Novem- ber 2020 presidential election. Additionally, he asked for “the best poll numbers and this Chi- na Virus thing” to blow over immediately. “Filthy maggot. I am a Presi- dent of Hell. I command forty legions of demons at the side of Lucifer,” the enormous bird screamed back in a voice that could be heard from Lafayette Park. “You must offer sacrifice for your request.” Jenny McMiller, a summer White House intern from Yale, said that she was immediately grabbed by the shoulder and shoved to the ground by Jared Kushner in front of the make- shift altar. “I was just standing there when this meek childlike voice yelled, ‘Take her’ and next thing you know I’m looking at this giant crow’s feet. I just came here for class credits. I don’t need this shit or [Ted] Cruz’s winks.” The demon appeared to be uninterested and instead asked that Trump “open these cans of beans up and spread them on your body like a complete fucking dipshit.” Goya’s demand was met and as Trump looked hopefully upon the demon’s mighty feathers, it took a photo with what appeared to be an iPhone 11 and disappeared into a vor- tex of laughter. Investigation by The Trum- pette into Goya as a demon unassociated with Goya Foods indicated that Trump may have been speaking with Mal- thus, a trickster President of Hell listed in the Lesser Keys of Solomon. Malthus: What we Know Mighty Great President of Hell Commands 40 legions of demons Second in command under Satan. • Said to: Build houses, high towers and strongholds • Destroy the enemies’ desires or thoughts and all they have done • Give good familiars • Quickly bring artificers together from all places of the world. Accepts willingly and kindly any sacrifice offered to him, but then he will deceive the conjurer. Elder Gods show anger in US ahead of dual hurricanes Cat Lovecraft Weather Correspondent NEW ORLEANS -- Sight- ings of waterspouts churning off the state of Louisiana Thursday were reported, as videos and images circulated on social media. One video shows up to six waterspouts southwest of Galliano. Another shows a massive spout up close in Leevilee, La., near Grand Isle, ac- cording to New Orle- ans-based meteorologist Scot Pilie. Ed Piotrowski, a mete- orologist at WPDE, de- scribed it as the “most horrifying thing I’ve ever witnessed in 17 years study- ing weather. It’s almost as though the Dark One is approaching and providing warning through this dark omen. We are doomed. And now two hurricanes ap- proach this same location. Surely this is the end of man.” The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administra- tion (NOAA) splits water- spouts into three categories: fair weather, tornadic and indication that the darkness that lurks deep below the eyes and consciousness of mankind will soon arise and bring with it The Mad- ness.” Tornadic waterspouts are tornadoes that form over bodies of water and are associated with severe thunderstorms and ex- treme weather, according to authorities. They develop downward from the sky. Fair weather waterspouts develop from the surface of the water upward beneath forming clouds, according to the NOAA. These typi- cally move very little and dissipate rapidly if they make landfall. Spouts developing from the Elder Gods, announcing their presence, generally develop when the Gods of the Deep generate tendrils of their own madness deep into the sky. These fin- ger-like shapes bring plague and madness to all who view them. The Trumpette 8 Every week we here at antitrump get hundreds of letters, mostly in the form of email. (We assume. We don’t actually check the mailbox) Most of it is hatemail, and invitations to kill ourselves. But our dedicated following sometimes writes in with a question or a pickle. Here are a few: My neighbor is trump supporter and they very bad what can i do to change them into good person who go to heaven? - Brandy from Manetboa Brandy: Well we never tell people what to do with religion but you should probably start asserting your dominance by urinating on them when they get close to you. If nature didn’t equip you with a firehose, you can use a pee funnel. its on amazon or something. What can I do about the lame memes trump fans keep sending over and over. I’m thankful we’re past the plague of frogs phase of the end of the world, but I don’t know how many more times I can hear the word “cuck” without giving up social media entirely. - Bobbie Blue Byes from Theresville ND Bobbie , social media is all about how you use it. Those people really shouldn’t be engaged with in any way shape or form. But they also shouldn’t be blocked either. Just ignored. You go about your business, observe their strange behavior, and move on with your life. In other words, treat them just like any other wild animal you’d come across in the internet wilderness. Dear Antitrump.com , I don’t want to name any names, but I have a feeling a local figure in my area is involved in some bad stuff. Like, illuminati sacrifice bad. I haven’t seen anything con- crete, but let’s just say I know I’m right about this. What do I do? - Anonymous Anonymous , that’s a tough one. As William Shakespeare once wrote, “There are far stranger things in this heaven and earth than in your philosophies Horatio.” People are weird. I would suggest NOT trying to play detective. You should of course look out for your family and community and document and report anything strange. And if something strange does happen, report it to your local and federal authorities. Unless it’s vampires. If you’re deal- ing with vampires you want to go to the church and get in good with the choir. It will take time, but you must learn the secret handshake of the holy order, and then you can get the hook up on enough holy water to take care of your vampire problem. Then again, maybe just live and let live. Ever since the vampires moved in down the street the raccoon problem has solved itself, and sometimes that’s the sweetest victory you can get. But definitely start an Instagram so we can follow your delusions. Dear Daniel Souza III, I told you that I would get you back one day and oh man I got you back so good. I took your umbrella and I cut all those little strings that hold the umbrella to the stick thing and man next time it rains you’re gonna get rained on so bad and then we’ll see who’s wearing a stupid wet ruined jacket and a broken umbrella. - Um, Thanks. We’ll pass that along. Dear ATOL, Thanks for the stickers. They were bomb. They cheered my mom up a bit but eventually she quit her job. Well she says she quit but I think she just said that because she hated it and I looked online and it said her entire job was gone because the president took it out of the government. I thought he was supposed to be a more jobs president. We live in a new place now but I had the sticker on my dresser and they said I could take it with us so I still have it. Keep sending people stickers! - We are glad you are happy with the stickers, sticker-person. Dear Antitrumpers, here is a pickle Yes, they actually sent us a pickle. HOROSCOPES Telling time on the Universal Clock Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t eat soup this month. They are trying to poison you. Taurus (April 20-May 20) You know you want to punch them. Just do it. Gemini (May 21-June 20) Could just make up your fucking mind already? Flip a coin. Cancer (June 21-July 22) Try to avoid being crabby this month. Get it? Because you’re a fucking crab. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) It was probably your fault all along but we both know you’re way too proud to admit it so just keep ignoring it or at least hide the body well. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You’re not getting high nearly as much as you should. Even if it’s illegal in your state, just show them this horoscope and law enforcement should let you go with just a warning. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Help Virgo by using your scales to weigh out a few grams of weed. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You leave a trail of corpses in your wake. Remember to keep your shoes clean or someone may trace the footprints to you. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Scorpios hate you. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Consider getting into some real weird roleplay. Like some shit that no one at your workplace can ever know about. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) The best part about buying a boat is the day that you sell your boat. Meditate on that today when you’re at the boat store. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) I don’t speak fish. That shit is for Aquaman and I’m sorry do I look like one of the most useless members of the DC Squad? No. I don’t. Letters to the Editor insanity that we ultimately created. I’m sure we ruined more than one Thanksgiving dinner. Q: Do you regret your involvement with Q? What is your biggest regret? A: I don’t even know how to answer that. Yes, I do regret it. I absolutely underestimated the effect a few empty gestures on the internet can have. We made a narrative out of cardboard and painted it gold. That’s all it took. An account with a tripcode, a picture from a friend I went to school with and the president using the phrase “tippy top” in a giant coincidence. I guess what I regret most is the gullibility of others and my unwillingness to not cut the cord a lot sooner. It wasn’t like this was something we did for profit. The payoff we were hoping for was that a bunch of people would get duped into this and eventually they’d realize our statements were nothing more than third rate psychic predictions. The realization they had been tricked was the punchline. But that punchline never came. And the whole thing moved so quickly it was almost impossible to stop. By the time we realized what we had actually done, it was too late. It couldn’t be stopped. Q: What do you hope coming forward like this accomplishes? A: I’d really love to believe that coming for- ward will put a rest to these insane theories. A lot of people have been hurt and confused by this narrative, and I feel like I have a moral responsibility to come clean. Ultimately, I’m not looking for redemption. I just want to get the truth out. Hopefully that will make things right. QAnon: Regrets gullibility, not cutting cord A SIGN showing support of the “Q” movement is held up by a member of the audience attending a Trump rally in July at Tulsa Convention Center. FROM Page 4