THEATRUMPETTE time of the signs Secret Magic Square Code We News Well. We Word good. August/September 2020 Trump: First Term in Review. We’ve got you COVI’D Edition www.AntiTrump.com Dark times ahead: The Antichrist prepares for the final battle DON Inside: OF THE Lisa Frank releases Trump Collection DAMNED Exclusive Q and A With QAnon Creator The Trumpette 2 End of the Rainbow A PICTURE from Lisa Frank’s new Donald Trump collection is displayed. Frank’s art installment will be available until December. (Photos provided by Lisa Frank Studios) ‘Trump Collection’ raises eyebrows, questions Karen Crowley handler and psychi- on the canvases hung the loading dock while Jason Bourbon, she sent me her 20- Entertainment Editor atrist Joseph Dimes, throughout the ware- a trembling hand took Frank’s former AA year [sobriety] token. described the event as house. another drink from a sponsor and life-coach, I thought she sent me NEW YORK -- Lisa “probably the last time Frank’s creativi- bottle of Early Times. who also attended the a painting. It was a Frank, the brain Lisa will be taking part ty didn’t stop there. “You make this name showing, explained painting of Donald behind numerous in a public event”. Frank made the bold for yourself creating that the artist had been Trump. The metal coin dolphins and friend- The works depict- choice to have her pictures of life and experiencing a number had been cut in two, ly tigers, released the ed various forms work hung from a whimsy.” of hardships leading a broken half shoved “Donald Trump Col- of Trump’s face in variety of old meat Lighting a cigarette up to the event, which into each of his eyes.” lection” Saturday, July the classic style that hooks, once used to she added, “I can’t do provided inspiration When asked if Frank’s 11. Titled “I Just Don’t fans of Frank have keep skinned and it anymore. We’re in for her to create these return to alcoholism Care Anymore,” the come to know and bloody bovine corps- an epidemic. How the masterpieces. was in some way a exclusive art exhib- love throughout the es from touching the fuck does a cat riding “Lisa will always be transition back to a it’s soft opening took lengthy tenure of her floor, as a method for a unicorn fit into any the one I know I could more pure form of art, place in a former career. Rainbows, displaying her art. of that? Why am I have done more for,” Bourbon respond- slaughterhouse on the vague shapes of ani- “I just don’t see the providing a message of he explained. ed “What the fuck outskirts of the SoHo mals and occasional use in all of this any- hope to children when “I guess I could have is wrong with you? district. The organizer smears of dried blood more,” Frank said in it was over 100 in the been more supportive. Who do you work for for the show, Frank’s vibrantly came to life a candid interview on Artic Circle?” I knew for sure when again?” The Trumpette 3 White House garden sees remodel to bury corpses The stunning and pictur- esque gardens hosted at the White House were recently renovated and remodeled with the help of First Lady Melania Trump and an un- disclosed group of Russian mobsters. Of the numerous changes made to the gardens were the addition of three new maple trees, the addition of roses and azaleas, and roughly thir- ty plots where a human could be buried inconspicuously. The plots, holes roughly six feet deep and seven feet long, were not explained by White House officials. When asked about if the holes were intended for hu- man remains, the First Lady responded that they are tradi- tional in Slovenian gardens. PICTURES FROM Lisa Frank’s new Donald Trump collection are displayed. Frank’s art installment will be available until December. (Photos pro- vided by Lisa Frank Studios) USPS mail increasingly finds itself in swirling black hole Has your mail service been running slow lately? This may be due to swirling black holes that are becoming increas- ingly larger. First noticed in several USPS hubs in major cities, the phenomena has now spread to include smaller metro areas. “We noticed it last month next to a sorting machine. We tried unplugging the machine but that just seemed to make it grow larger,” a postmaster in New York told us Monday. “We lost Larry [Geralds], our maintenance man to the thing last week. He got too close and it sucked him in. Got a call yesterday from a sorting hub in Milwaukee that Larry’s hat and glasses shot out of their vortex yesterday. We’re still trying to figure it out.” Bannon sends Best Friends Forever bracelet back to Trump In a stunning act of sev- ering his friendship with President Trump, former aide Steve Bannon mailed back his beaded “BFF” brace- let that Trump and he made shortly after Inauguration Day. “If he’s going to pretend like he doesn’t know me any- more then I guess this brace- let is as meaningless as the times we ate Fillet-o-Fishes and talked about ruining the lives of immigrants,” Bannon said in a phone call Friday. “It’s like he built the wall but instead of building it on the border: He built it around his heart. This has been devastating for me.” Q&A with QAnon The Trumpette 4 PRESIDENT TRUMP speaks at a rally in July at the Tulsa Convention Center while a member of the audience holds a child up with a “Q” on its clothing. Exclusive tell-all with creator Compiled by the AntiTrump time, I and a few others were working time (this would have been in 2003), floated the idea of making our own Online Team AP etc. directly with Julian Assange, whose we hadn’t even dreamed up Q yet. “Anon.” It was basically a prank on handle was “Firefly.” At one point, I was just a site admin who deleted the /pol/ subforum, since /pol/ is Since its inception, the “Q Movement” our team disagreed with him over shitty posts when I was bored. more or less a grooming farm for has gained a following of over half a mil- whether some information (such as a white nationalists to spread their lion people who believe in “The Storm”, a 747 maintenance manual that could Q: So we know that QAnon started message and ideals to an age range of far-flung prophecy of sorts that is be- be used to damage a commercial on the 4chan forums. Can you tell 14-28. There were so many wild ac- lieved to be the end of the “Deep State.” aircraft) should be released at all, with us more about how exactly it got cusations going around in the politi- We here at Antitrump.com have the ex- clusive interview with one of the original Julian asserting that all information started? cal forums, we just figured we could creators of the QAnon movement and should be open. A: Initially it was kind of a push back get more mileage out of it as a joke. the story of how it all began. Some of our team, however, felt that on the massive propaganda machine We came up with a story so wild, we since we were in charge of the releas- that was working throughout the 2016 thought no one would believe it. We Q: Who are you? es, we had a responsibility to protect election cycle. Myself and six other were “jumping the shark”, if you will. A: My name isn’t something I give information that could be used in acts individuals had noticed a very real Just trying to get this bug in every- out very often and I change handles of domestic terrorism. Specifically, disinformation campaign going back to one’s ear that a high-ranking mem- pretty often. I was one of seven peo- with the 747 manual, members of our 2015 that appeared to be a coordinated ber of the administration was both ple who originally created the QAnon team felt we were crossing a line. effort between US individuals and an a 4chan user and an ally in some movement. entity that existed outside of the United gigantic war that no one knew about. Q: How did this develop into the Q States. The model for our “Anon” was based Q: How did you become involved in Movement? So we knew what was possible. We on the idea of someone like Stephen the Q movement? A: It all started when the owner of had knowledge of fifferent “Anons” that Miller. A: I first became involved in internet 4chan and mod of the ADRTW sub- had previously posted to 4chan claim- Where the previous attempts to counter-culture through Cult of the forum, “Moot”, stepped down from ing to be high-level members of various troll /pol/ had failed, we were pre- Dead Cow, a hacktivist group that the site. I met Moot at a Vanity Fair agencies (CIA Anon, HLA Anon, FBI pared. We knew we needed some developed Back Orifice (a computer function a few years back during a Anon), all of which were proven fake. form of authority because the same program that allowed a user to con- layover in California. After his exodus They either couldn’t handle the flood of kind of thing had been attempted trol a computer running the Micro- from the site, I helped with some ba- user questions, or they were unable to before, and we wanted it to be more soft Windows operating system from sic site structure and various janitori- produce “proof ” in the form of pho- absurd than that. a remote location) and released it at al/admin work on 4chan. tographs, etc. when asked. It was then the DEFCON 6 hacker convention in I was given admin-level access so that the idea of Q was introduced. Q: What inspired the idea for “Q 1998. When WikiLeaks first went live, that I could help out on the site. My level clearance”? Does it have any- I was one of the individuals tasked access was higher than a normal Q: What was the original concept thing to do with Archer? with organizing the submissions and maintenance account as a “thank you” behind Q? improving the tagging system. At that for volunteering my time. At that A: One of our members, “Pamphlet” Continued on Next Page The Trumpette 5 A: We never directly said our a worldwide phenomenon. Anon had a Q level clear- And it’s seemingly unstoppa- ance at first, but we chose ble at this point. the name Q because of the implication. Q level clear- Q: Are the same group of in- ance is one of the highest dividuals, yourself included, clearances available in the US still involved? The current government, which we knew owner of 8kun (formerly from working with Julian, 8chan) claims he doesn’t and it was also a joke in an know who’s responsible. episode of Archer. We wanted A: Three of the original 7 are. to keep it intentionally vague We ended up running into a at first, because like I said, problem maintaining veri- this was essentially a prank fication because our initial we were playing on /pol/, the tripcode was pulled by 4chan. politics sub on 4chan. Our It took a while for anyone authority came in the form of to notice, so we flew under tripcodes, which are the hash the radar for a few weeks. code of a password. They’re The self-proclaimed QAnons used to assign an identity on began getting restless for an anonymous account. The drops though, so we moved identity of the poster is still the whole thing over to 8chan MATTHEW WRIGHT (clockwise from top-left) arrested for blocking the Hovver Dam with an Armored Car anonymous, but users can see and a rifle, a Boeing 747 Maintenance Journal from WikiLeaks, members at a rally hold up Q signs (2), (where our members had ad- whether posts are made by Anthony Comello draws a Q on his hand in support after the murder of Frank Cali, Reporters gather at min access) and established the same anonymous poster Ping-Pong Comet Pizza after the shooting. a tripcode with Jim Watkins, or someone else. Since I had the owner. that level of user access, I had series of questions, directing We set up this narrative that Bones, Freemasons. It impli- The narrative we fed our the ability to assign tripcodes them to “hidden truths.” The there was this Big Thing com- cated major celebrities like followers was that 4chan to certain accounts, which next day (10/29/17) various ing and that Big Thing was they’re all addicted to adreno- had been compromised and gave them a level of authority members of our group con- going to make the Bad Guys chrome. The only basis we had was no longer a safe channel on the site. That got atten- tinued to post multiple times, go away. We kept building on for any of that being an actual for our broadcast, with the tion because only a few users leaving “breadcrumbs” for that, but there was never any thing was a scene from Fear & low-key insinuation that have a tripcode. Between the the masses to follow. release date. It was always just Loathing In Las Vegas. the new owner, Hiroyuki 7 of us, we all helped out to We threw a lot out about Coming. Once things started Nishimura, wasn’t an Amer- make it seem like the account older government projects, heating up with the Manafort Q: It grew beyond your ican citizen. In reality, I had was always watching, always like Mockingbird, which gave trials, Flynn, Mueller… with control? only been given the admin ready to respond. our story a kind of govern- the way that events began A: It just never should have level access as a favor from ment conspiracy aspect of escalating after Trump’s first had legs to begin with. It was Moot, and the new owners Q: What can you tell me truth. That’s partially why year of presidency, that ended absolutely absurd. Absurdity had been busted me down about the Q dispatches? all the “dispatches” have a up supporting our side of the to the point where there was to a general level mod- A: Our first post was made slightly different narrative. argument even more. It was no way in our minds that it erator, which meant I no 3 days before Halloween That’s the result of numerous day after day of newscycles would float. It very quickly longer had the admin access 2017. A friend of mine in individuals using the same that were crazier than the got to the point where it was to assign tripcodes. Jim is the National Guard made a account to publish drops, day before. Within a month completely out of control and correct when he says that Facebook post about it being each with their own spin on of that first dispatch, people none of us could jump off the he does not know who any a pain in the ass that the NG the narrative we created. were making memes and ride because it was going too of us are by name or if it was doing a training exercise At some point, one of the photoshopping pictures to fast. We were just riffing a was more than one individ- in a few metro areas on the 4chan users asked for ver- support the “Q Movement.” joke, flying by the seat of our ual. We intentionally kept 30th. We used this as the ification that Q was sitting Then it was on Facebook. pants, and we had individuals that information hidden. It “privileged info” in our first in Air Force One, since the Then Twitter. People I worked in the Trump campaign offer- was shortly after the move post. Everything else was fab- dispatches had implied Q had with in real life started bring- ing money to fund Q. to 8chan that our original ricated, and ultimately unver- access to it. ing it up, asking if I had heard group of 7 parted ways. ifiable. The first “Q dispatch” I have a friend from col- of this “QAnon.” Shortly after Q: Can you name those focused on Hillary’s Clinton’s lege who actually went on that, people were showing up individuals? Q: Why did you ultimately supposed extradition. to become a White House at rallies with Q signs and Q A: I have my suspicions, but abandon the Q project? “HRC extradition already pool photographer. They are shirts. We hadn’t made any we don’t have any records A: A number of reasons. in motion effective yesterday always on board AF1 going merchandise or anything our- to prove where the money First, it was out of control. with several countries in case to rallies. We had them take selves. The whole thing was was coming from. Ironically, Second, it was stressful. The of cross border run. Passport a picture with a date and a prank and not a grift. But it eventually we had a lot of same individuals who left approved to be flagged effec- timestamp and posted it to was unsettling. support that we suspected Wikileaks over a 747 manu- tive 10/30 @ 12:01am. Expect the account with the Q trip- was either from Stephen al were now responsible for massive riots organized in code. That’s all it took for the Q: Unsettling how? Miller himself, or individuals something that had far-reach- defiance and others fleeing individuals on /pol/ to believe A: We inadvertently created close to him. ing consequences. A message the US to occur. US M’s will the story and start running this completely different real- saying Hillary Clinton was conduct the operation while with it. ity, where HRC really was ex- Q: Why are you coming out going to be extradited that NG activated. Proof check: tradited and taken to tribunal. with your story now? I posted drunk, based off a Locate a NG member and Q: What about “The We purported that numerous A: It’s gone way too far. When prank conceived on a message ask if activated for duty 10/30 Storm”? other liberal figures were also the president of the United board, was now the reason a across most major cities.” A: That was part of the over- taken, but we were always States is retweeting a hashtag, guy walked into a pizza place shadowing narrative. The intentionally vague. We used and you’re responsible for with a gun. Or convinced a Q: But Hillary Clinton was whole process of dropping dispatches filled with pointed that hashtag, and people are guy to drive to an armored never extradited. Why did these dispatches was woven questions to direct our users running for office, and they’re vehicle onto the Hoover Dam anyone believe the account into a story that there’s this to fill in the gaps themselves. saying things that you said in screaming “release the OIG after that? undercurrent of a secret war The narrative began to grow early dispatches, things you report”. People were literal- A: I don’t know. They going on against the Bad on its own. Now it included made up. ly murdered because of this shouldn’t have. We tried to Guys. the death of Seth Rich, HRC’s We’re watching people run fucking joke. Frank Cali may make it incomprehensible. In this case, the Bad Guys emails and the strange out- for office on a platform of have been a mobster, but he We probably should have were whoever /pol/ didn’t of-context occurrences of the parroting lies that were ini- definitely wasn’t a member of stopped after that first post. like. So, anyone liberal, word “pizza.” It ballooned into tially intended to ruffle some the “deep state.” People lost But we didn’t. The next day, anyone advocating for civil a global conspiracy, impli- feathers and maybe evoke family members due to the one of our group posted a rights, any minority. cating the Illuminati, Skull & a few chuckles. It’s become SEE: QAnon, Page 8 The Trumpette 6 DeVos: Killing kids is ‘very tough work’ Mic Michaelson Sunday Press Writer WASHINGTON -- Sec- retary of Education Betsy DeVos spoke candidly on NBC’s “Meet the Press” Sunday about the diffi- culties of her position in the wake of nationwide school lockdowns. “The biggest problem that I run into on a daily basis is that it’s just not as easy as I expected it to be to kill millions of school children,” said DeVos in her interview. “I guess I expected it to be as easy as pushing for a voucher system. It’s honestly harder than I expected. I’ve been spending a lot of time on The Modest Proposal this last week trying to come up with something more efficient.” The Modest Propos- al, the largest of DeVos’ President stops for a little cheese pizza while visiting Pennsylvania luxury yachts, staffs PRESIDENT TRUMP shows off a pizza pie he ordered while making a quick stop off his motorcade route in Pennsylvania on Thursday, Aug. 20, between 11 to 15 young 2020. children purchased from numerous third-world countries for jobs like housekeeping, entertain- Nancy Reagan’s occult collection found by Ivanka ment and who are oc- John Constantine casionally used as floats Occult Correspondent in the yacht’s on-board lay-z-river. WASHINGTON -- A morning cleaning Recent comments from of President Trump’s weekly collection of President Trump have Fillet-O-Fish wrappers, Diet Coke cans, indicated there may be empty Adderall bottles and Sudaphed planning underway to blister packs turned magical when daughter limit or remove federal Ivanka Trump stumbled across the chest funding from school sys- containing Nancy Reagan’s occult items. tems that refuse to open The chest, wrapped in the leathered hides for on-campus learning of former presidents Taft, Ford and Roos- while COVID-19 contin- evelt, was located under numerous stacks ues to infect thousands of paper labeled “WATERGATE” that daily. were placed there when a paper shredder “The idea was mine jammed in the Oval Office during the Clin- exclusively,” DeVos said. ton presidency. “It seemed absolutely Contents of the chest varied from mun- simple: Link funding to dane to mystical and included: A crystal opening and if they don’t ball, Tarot deck, numerous candles, a open, we’ll pull the rug scrying bottle, several bloodstained daggers, from their federal funds. a Ouiji board and numerous bottles of a Then I sail the USS medication used to treat dementia. Also Voucher to the system, located were several rolled marijuana joints take it over and there’s in an otherwise empty box of Djarm Black another school under clove cigarettes. my wing.” [Editor’s note: Lighting one of the stale joints and mut- USS Voucher is the name tering about never having any fun, Ivanka of another one of DeVos attempted to do a tarot reading. Sources luxury yachts.] close to her state that she has not played DeVos ended her ap- with a deck since her isolation on her own A LIKENESS of former President Ronald Reagan made entirely out of jellybeans was also pearance saying, “I genu- floor in Trump Tower and that one sum- recovered from the chest. inely thought this would mer she had a crush on Nick Carter from second drawing of Celtic Cross again only your spiritual war chest. Please tell me: be easier. I thought I The Backstreet Boys. displayed The Tower. Ivanka moved to the What do-” could just throw around Drawing a standard Celtic Cross, each Ouiji board as it had been since 1995 since The indicator on the Ouiji board did not money and get everyone card displayed The Tower. This card is she used one to ask if her father loved her let her finish. It just kept spelling out to charter schools. Now often associated with negative outcomes. (response: No) and if there was any way out “JELLYBEANS. JELLYBEANS. JELLY- I’ve got at least 45 million Reshuffling the deck and then looking at of her present situation in 1999 (response: BEANS” even after her hands left the children I have to mur- each individual card, it did not appear to be The Darkness is Here). board. The Basilica was contacted to der. This fucking sucks.” a deck with more than one Tower card. A “Spirit of Reagan, hear me! I have found address the matter. The Trumpette 7 Elder Gods show anger in US ahead of dual hurricanes Cat Lovecraft tion (NOAA) splits water- Weather Correspondent spouts into three categories: fair weather, tornadic and NEW ORLEANS -- Sight- indication that the darkness ings of waterspouts that lurks deep below the churning off the state of eyes and consciousness of Louisiana Thursday were mankind will soon arise reported, as videos and and bring with it The Mad- images circulated on social ness.” media. Tornadic waterspouts One video shows up to six are tornadoes that form waterspouts southwest of over bodies of water and Galliano. are associated with severe Another shows a massive thunderstorms and ex- spout up close in Leevilee, treme weather, according to La., near Grand Isle, ac- authorities. They develop cording to New Orle- downward from the sky. ans-based meteorologist Fair weather waterspouts Scot Pilie. develop from the surface of Ed Piotrowski, a mete- the water upward beneath orologist at WPDE, de- forming clouds, according scribed it as the “most to the NOAA. These typi- horrifying thing I’ve ever cally move very little and witnessed in 17 years study- dissipate rapidly if they ing weather. It’s almost as make landfall. though the Dark One is Spouts developing from Canned heat PRESIDENT TRUMP is seen giving a thumbs up in the Oval Office on Friday. Shortly after, the president attempted to summon a demon he called Goya that may have been the demon Malthus. approaching and providing the Elder Gods, announcing warning through this dark their presence, generally omen. We are doomed. And develop when the Gods of now two hurricanes ap- the Deep generate tendrils proach this same location. of their own madness deep Surely this is the end of into the sky. These fin- man.” ger-like shapes bring plague The National Oceanic and and madness to all who Trump summons demon Goya with beans Atmospheric Administra- view them. Antonio LeVay of Lucifer,” the enormous bird White House Correspondent screamed back in a voice that could be heard from Lafayette WHITE HOUSE -- Senior Park. “You must offer sacrifice White House officials have for your request.” confirmed that President Jenny McMiller, a summer Trump successfully contacted White House intern from Yale, a demon from Hell’s legion on said that she was immediately Friday. The entity, only refer- grabbed by the shoulder and encing itself as “Goya, Bringer shoved to the ground by Jared of Beans” was summoned after Kushner in front of the make- Trump arranged numerous shift altar. Malthus: What we Know Goya products into the shape “I was just standing there of the Sigil of Baphomet. The Mighty Great President of Hell when this meek childlike voice Commands 40 legions of demons President then formed a circle Second in command under Satan. yelled, ‘Take her’ and next of Mary’s Crazy Salt around • Said to: Build houses, high towers thing you know I’m looking and strongholds the sigil and began to speak • Destroy the enemies’ desires or at this giant crow’s feet. I just in what was described as “a thoughts and all they have done came here for class credits. I • Give good familiars tongue long forgotten” by sev- • Quickly bring artificers together don’t need this shit or [Ted] eral officials who spoke on the from all places of the world. Cruz’s winks.” Accepts willingly and kindly any condition of anonymity. sacrifice offered to him, but then The demon appeared to be Goya, while not a demon he will deceive the conjurer. uninterested and instead asked listed in the Lesser or Greater that Trump “open these cans I, Malth-- Goya! Keeper of Keys of Solomon, was con- of beans up and spread them secrets, lover of beans. Why firmed to be an infernal crea- on your body like a complete have you summoned me here ture from the depths of Hell. fucking dipshit.” today,” the feathered being White House interns were Goya’s demand was met and from Hell bellowed. present at the summoning in as Trump looked hopefully Trump requested that all of the event the creature from upon the demon’s mighty his foes, specifically “Sleepy- the Dark Realm required feathers, it took a photo with Eyed Joe [Biden],” have sick- blood sacrifice. They state that what appeared to be an iPhone ness and “loserness” befall upon conjuration, the shad- 11 and disappeared into a vor- them in the upcoming Novem- ows took a form that looked tex of laughter. ber 2020 presidential election. like a large crow wearing hu- Investigation by The Trum- Additionally, he asked for “the man pants and holding what pette into Goya as a demon best poll numbers and this Chi- appeared to be a masonry tool unassociated with Goya Foods na Virus thing” to blow over of some kind. indicated that Trump may immediately. Sources close to the incident have been speaking with Mal- “Filthy maggot. I am a Presi- stated that the unspeakable thus, a trickster President of dent of Hell. I command forty TENDRILS OF MADNESS are seen arising from the ocean on Thurs- creature began to laugh. Hell listed in the Lesser Keys day. These events are generally considered a sign of the Dark Ones legions of demons at the side “Behold, meat puppet. It is of Solomon. impending arrival. The Trumpette 8 HOROSCOPES Telling time on the Universal Clock Aries (March 21-April 19) Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Letters to the Editor Don’t eat soup this month. They are trying to poison Help Virgo by using your scales to weigh out a few Every week we here at antitrump get hundreds of letters, you. grams of weed. mostly in the form of email. (We assume. We don’t actually Taurus (April 20-May 20) Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) You know you want to punch You leave a trail of corpses check the mailbox) Most of it is hatemail, and invitations to them. Just do it. in your wake. Remember to keep your shoes clean kill ourselves. But our dedicated following sometimes writes Gemini (May 21-June 20) Could just make up your or someone may trace the footprints to you. in with a question or a pickle. Here are a few: fucking mind already? Flip a coin. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Cancer (June 21-July 22) Scorpios hate you. My neighbor is trump supporter and they very bad what can Try to avoid being crabby this month. Get it? Because Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Consider getting into some i do to change them into good person who go to heaven? you’re a fucking crab. real weird roleplay. Like some shit that no one at -Brandy from Manetboa Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) your workplace can ever It was probably your fault know about. all along but we both know you’re way too proud to Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Brandy: Well we never tell people what to do with religion admit it so just keep ignoring The best part about buying it or at least hide the body a boat is the day that you but you should probably start asserting your dominance well. sell your boat. Meditate on that today when you’re at the by urinating on them when they get close to you. If nature Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You’re not getting high boat store. didn’t equip you with a firehose, you can use a pee funnel. its nearly as much as you should. Even if it’s illegal in Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) I don’t speak fish. That shit is on amazon or something. your state, just show them for Aquaman and I’m sorry this horoscope and law do I look like one of the enforcement should let you go with just a warning. most useless members of the DC Squad? No. I don’t. What can I do about the lame memes trump fans keep sending over and over. I’m thankful we’re past the plague of frogs phase of the end of the world, but I don’t know how many more times I can hear the word “cuck” without giving up social media entirely. - Bobbie Blue Byes from Theresville ND Bobbie, social media is all about how you use it. Those people really shouldn’t be engaged with in any way shape or form. But they also shouldn’t be blocked either. Just ignored. You go about your business, observe their strange behavior, and move on with your life. In other words, treat them just like any other wild animal you’d come across in the internet wilderness. Dear Antitrump.com, I don’t want to name any names, but I have a feeling a local figure in my area is involved in some bad stuff. Like, illuminati sacrifice bad. I haven’t seen anything con- crete, but let’s just say I know I’m right about this. What do I do? - Anonymous Anonymous, that’s a tough one. As William Shakespeare once wrote, “There are far stranger things in this heaven and earth than in your philosophies Horatio.” People are weird. I would suggest NOT trying to play detective. You should of course look out for your family and community and document and report anything strange. And if something strange does happen, report it to your local and federal authorities. Unless it’s vampires. If you’re deal- ing with vampires you want to go to the church and get in good with the choir. It will take time, but you must learn the secret handshake of the holy order, and then you can get the hook up on enough holy water to take care of your vampire problem. Then again, maybe just live and let live. Ever since the vampires moved in down the street the raccoon problem has solved itself, and sometimes that’s the sweetest victory you can get. But definitely start an Instagram so we can follow your delusions. Dear Daniel Souza III, I told you that I would get you back one day and oh man I got you A SIGN showing support of the “Q” movement is held up by a member of the audience attending a Trump back so good. I took your umbrella and I cut all those little strings rally in July at Tulsa Convention Center. that hold the umbrella to the stick thing and man next time it rains you’re gonna get rained on so bad and then we’ll see who’s QAnon: Regrets gullibility, not cutting cord wearing a stupid wet ruined jacket and a broken umbrella. FROM Page 4 a bunch of people would get duped into this - Um, Thanks. We’ll pass that along. and eventually they’d realize our statements insanity that we ultimately created. I’m sure we were nothing more than third rate psychic Dear ATOL, ruined more than one Thanksgiving dinner. predictions. Thanks for the stickers. They were bomb. They cheered my mom The realization they had been tricked was up a bit but eventually she quit her job. Well she says she quit but Q: Do you regret your involvement with Q? the punchline. But that punchline never came. I think she just said that because she hated it and I looked online What is your biggest regret? And the whole thing moved so quickly it was and it said her entire job was gone because the president took it A: I don’t even know how to answer that. Yes, almost impossible to stop. By the time we out of the government. I thought he was supposed to be a more I do regret it. I absolutely underestimated the realized what we had actually done, it was too jobs president. We live in a new place now but I had the sticker on effect a few empty gestures on the internet can late. It couldn’t be stopped. my dresser and they said I could take it with us so I still have it. have. Keep sending people stickers! We made a narrative out of cardboard and Q: What do you hope coming forward like painted it gold. That’s all it took. An account this accomplishes? - We are glad you are happy with the stickers, sticker-person. with a tripcode, a picture from a friend I went A: I’d really love to believe that coming for- to school with and the president using the ward will put a rest to these insane theories. Dear Antitrumpers, phrase “tippy top” in a giant coincidence. A lot of people have been hurt and confused here is a pickle I guess what I regret most is the gullibility of by this narrative, and I feel like I have a moral Yes, they actually sent us a pickle. others and my unwillingness to not cut the responsibility to come clean. cord a lot sooner. Ultimately, I’m not looking for redemption. It wasn’t like this was something we did for I just want to get the truth out. Hopefully that profit. The payoff we were hoping for was that will make things right.