2 ALiSA THE ODESSA BRiDE (A Compilation of Poems and Short Stories) ‘Seun Oloruntegbe Appreciate life, Appreciate love, Appreciate family, Appreciate people Appreciation is an express route to exaltation ‘Seun Oloruntegbe retains the right to be identified as the author of this e-book Cover design by Tanya Vakulchuk (IG love2design_ty) All works herein by ‘Seun Oloruntegbe Use the hashtag #iamalisa to tweet and share your thoughts on this book and your favorite pieces Twitter: i_am_seunlight Instagram: seunlight 3 Table of Contents To the reader About the Writer About the Title 1. Alisa: dilemma of a pretty girl 2. Spring of hope 3. Designed and assembled by her 4. Alcohol the devil 5. And then she sobs and cries 6. Who’s to blame? 7. My brother, my friend 8. Too busy to pause 9. New day tomorrow 1 10. Enemy known 11. To my Momma 12. Strictly for him 13. Jack the dull boy 14. Gold digger by default 15. Factory setting 16. You’re hardly ever alone 17. Eighty nine and counting 18. Lies of a first date 19. Diva or coco 20. New day tomorrow 2 4 21. Religion of madness 22. Little red little 23. The black obsession 1 24. Run fat boy run 25. Beauty in the diverse 26. Trying too hard 27. The joy ride 28. I lost my way 29. A handful too much to handle 30. Fast food ambassador 31. No! Till 30 and single 32. Drive not the route 33. Black and gray 34. I love you 35. Old locomotive light 36. Alisa and the heels 37. The look 38. Alisa and the make-up session 39. Hit the road Jack 40. I’m fine 41. Smoky on a high 42. But for the passion 43. Let us move on 44. Search for the perfect 5 45. I know you’re lying 46. Pieces of us 47. Little red riding who? 48. African Deceptive Time 49. Fourteen 50. Beauty and the unstable 51. Daughters of Eve 52. Alisa you won’t kill me 53. Who blinks first? 54. The pissing tree 55. Alisa and the magical dress 56. Alisa the Odessa bride 57. How far behind? 58. High-speed chase 59. Broken car 60. Smiley face 61. Those people are a bunch of peasants 62. Vision 20-what now? 63. Dark skin disease 64. Three little birds 65. Alisa and the happy tears 66. What will they say? 67. The black obsession 2 68. I sighed and puffed at the sight of it all 69. I am who I am 6 70. Venus 71. Activist of force 72. Home is home 7 To the reader Since you're reading this it means you've decided to look beyond my crazy tooth-removing name and give my book a chance. To that let me just quickly say a big fat Thank you, Danke, Спасибо, Дякуемо, Gracias, Esé, Obrigado, Merci etc. It's been a great deal of fun and pleasure writing this book. It hasn't been without its challenges of course, but I must say I did enjoy every part of the writing, even when I didn't know what to write next. I've written this book from some deeply personal experiences and encounters, so you can view this as me opening up to you and us connecting at a deeper level of closeness and understanding. Most have been inspired by events (some of wish I’ve shared in the book), friends (old and new), my crazy thoughts and imaginations and some by the works of others. Some of my personal opinions and beliefs might have been reflected in some of my writings despite my best efforts in keeping things simple, neutral and less controversial. But I can't help myself. I'm a self-thinking, highly opinionated parrot. I probably shouldn’t call what I do poetry. I feel like my command of the English language is not profound enough to term me a 'poet' as I don't know enough big, weird and uncommon words to confuse myself and you as well. But I do know enough words to express my crazy thoughts in a simple way that you will appreciate and understand. Isn't that the whole point of communication, mutual understanding? I see myself as a crazy medic who stumbled on a golden pen that writes. I had to wait a long time to find the right ink that fills 8 the pen and get it writing. But once I got the right pen and the right ink, I just couldn't stop writing and making things up. I'm positive that you're going to have a certain level of pleasure, entertainment and reflection reading this book, and you’ll have a lot of laughing out loud (lol). I haven't written anything you don't already know, just in one more way that you haven't read before. Again, a big, fat Gracias. Do have a refreshing time reading this book, take your time to soak it all in, it'll be worth your while I promise ‘Seun Oloruntegbe August, 2015 9 About the Writer ‘Seun is a contracted form of ‘Oluwaseun’ a Yoruba name which means ‘Thank God’ or ‘God did something”. Oloruntegbe is a Yoruba ancestral name which means ‘God is able enough to aid’. He was born and raised in Ondo State, South-Western Nigeria. ‘Seun is a training doctor with a knack for writing. He likes to exercise his imagination and express his reservations poetically, deal with emotions with words and a pinch of salt and treat them as what they are, a person’s state of mind and instinctive responses, and not the end of the world. ‘Alisa the Odessa Bride’ is his first published work. 10 About the Title Alisa the Odessa Bride seeks to capture the struggles of a beautiful young woman in the modern age. The pressure for perfection placed on her shoulders by an unforgiving society and her own personal desire to impress and be accepted by the people and society she sorely detests. It exploits the complexity of a young adult’s choices and his or her efforts to balance dreams and ambitions with expectations and reality. Odessa, geographically, is a beautiful port city located on the northwestern shore of the black sea in the east-European country of Ukraine. Odessa is a city that houses a majority of the women in a country that possesses arguably the most beautiful women in the world. Hundreds, if not thousands, of men travel to Odessa and her sister cities every year to experience the beauty of this city and its women. Alisa the Odessa Bride is centered on every day struggles, relationships, love, the burdens of expectations and the need for perfection. Also on pressing issues like alcoholism, terrorism, war and issues relating to my country of birth, Nigeria and what you could call my adopted country, Ukraine, and also women of course. What are we going to do without those beautiful, complex designs of nature? This book is intended to motivate, entertain and shine some light. Most of these might not make sense and it shouldn't, it is written by a crazy person. The sensible ones will be the ones straight from the heart. Enjoy the ride in the land called beautiful crazy. I promise you a lot of Awwwwws, Wows, LMAOs and LOLs. 11 Quoting the ever brilliant Chuck Lorre “Tell your friends, family, co-workers, and strangers who at first time might seem threatening to read the book”. 12 [This page intentionally left blank] 13 Alisa: dilemma of a pretty girl Alisa woke up in the morning with a smile on her face I woke up like this she said winking at the mirror Took a shower and quickly made a masterpiece of her face She threw on a white dress, only gently brushing her knee Put on her ring on the wedding finger like she always does Slipped into her favorite red heels ready to go She hopped in her tiny car ready to face the world Happy soul, free spirit, beauty of a queen Hello she smiled pleasantly as she greeted everyone Hey Alisa, happy to see you, you're as beautiful as always Alisa wears a wedding ring but she's not married She hides behind the ring to protect herself from the flirts She's dated a few men but it’s always ended in disappointment Men intimidated by her pure class and free spirit Now she's just immersed in her work watching the clock tick She's done everything right but never met the right As beautiful as she is she's not even insecure Mama's taught her always to be strong, pretty and happy Skinny, sexy and classy she could take her pick of men But the good ones are either married or gay 14 Alisa is not alone in her predicaments Her girlfriends Dana and Rita are in the same position They grew up together BFs forever Beautiful and gracious the simplest of girls Never puffy, superficial or proud Strange where all the men have gone 26, 28, and 29 clock's ticking on them all Strange where all the handsome men have gone Alisa has been with a few who were in love with her beauty But she wants a man who will love her for her simplicity A man that will still want her even if she was Precious 15 Spring of hope I see the tress live and green Filled with the light of spring Fresh from the harsh of winter Glowing like they've never seen lack I'm reminded of the mortality of life That no condition lasts forever Change is always around the corner For the worse or for the better I’m reminded to NEVER EVER give up Spring will always succeed the winter 16 Designed and assembled by her She's calm she calls she cares You say she's too clingy She nags she shouts she screams You say she's too crazy She's wiser than you will ever know She's just designed to sorrow She knows what she wants You're the closest she could find What she wants hasn't been made So she makes what she wants She wants you to be her make Designed and assembled by her She deserves the best of the better She has the beauty of Eva She possesses the fame of Sheba She boasts the courage of Esther She leaves you cry you call 17 She snubs you hurt you curse You now know she's so pretty Shame you could never see it She's not the one that got away She's the one that got away Away from the rule of a child Away from the like of a man 18 Alcohol the devil Alcohol the devil The enemy closest Death in a bottle The alcoholic’s evil bride Every sip a kill in the wait Sets you up for the big fall Makes you sleep overnight in the snow How do you recover from that? I can stop if I want Truth be told? You cannot You have a disease and you’re not alone A disease as old as man himself Physiology doesn’t lie Every ounce a death to happen A devil that captivates the wise Captivity of man’s own making No money for food, cloth or shelter 19 But the bank of beer never empts Dreams buried under the pool of Vodka Rising stars permanently stalled Doesn’t matter which way you take in The only way is down as long as you’re in But you don’t have to stay in your state There’s always a way out Funny story about this piece. I spent weeks looking for more inspiration to get past the first verse. On the day I finally got it done and I was heading out for the evening with my Fiancée, we ran into a drunk man passed out on my staircase, we both looked at each other thinking ‘what a coincidence’ but neither of us said a word. Sad coincidence, it’ll definitely have boosted me to complete this piece if I haven’t already. But it also reminded me of the experiences that made me want to write this in the first place 20 And then she sobs and cry She says she doesn't hurt She prides herself in her walls Walls she built of tears and glass And then she sobs and cry I wish you will be strong I know you don't want strong All you want is care and love And you aren't asking for much Please play the wait my dear Enjoy the rhyme of Shakespeare Peace will soon fill your heart Happy will surely come dear This piece I wrote for a hurting friend who had just suffered what I choose to call the ‘black effect’. The black effect is when white women meet a black guy and they immediately hit it off. The guy initially appear to be the best man in the world but will soon turn out to be a giant hole covered with ass 21 Who’s to blame? Who's to blame for all earthquakes? Who's to blame for the child born with disability? Who's to blame for all the world's ills? I'll say everyone and no one. We're all to blame and we're all not to blame Blames placed on the door of the absent third party On the distant government, or the hapless victim We're never to blame for our own misgivings It’s in our nature to seek self-justification To exonerate ourselves from any trace of imperfection But aren't we all imperfect? Isn't our beauty in our imperfection? Aren't we glorified by our ability to improve? Perfection is what we seek not what we achieve “Perfection is both the journey and the destination” 22 My brother, my friend My friend, my friend he shouts We are all brothers he says Only friends when we’re intoxicated Rum induced brotherhood and friendship You know we are friends he says But aren't we only friends when you're in need? Circumstance induced friendship That's not a friendship of substance Best Friends Forever she says Best gossipers forever she meant I always got your back she maintained You might want to look over your shoulders I know my friends and my friends know me Friendship is an unwritten contract we sign with trust To love, care, nurture, support and criticize Against all odds and against all times A friend fights for you at all times A friend roots for you at all times 23 A friend intercedes for you at all times A friend endures you and for you at all times A friend nurtures and nourishes you at all times A friend defends you at all times 24 Too busy to pause As I strolled and breathed the smell of a beautiful spring evening I couldn’t resist capturing the moment Amazing sights like these pass us by every day Too busy we are to pause for a minute and enjoy nature 25 New day tomorrow 1 Wait wait please wait Why are you in such a haste? Why haste to waste today The late is never late to a date Hurry please I'm in a hurry My merchandise awaits in a lorry Oh why do you so worry? There's no rush in the cemetery Take a breath and feel the breeze Breathe in the beauty of the sea Take a break to enjoy the ride Enjoy the splendor of sunrise Haste no more to the day You can't be late to the grave Live and enjoy the today Tomorrow will bring a new day 26 Enemy known Death a scary phenomenon Not least when it stings with venom A fate we’ve known from the start But nonetheless scares us non stop Why are you so mean and vile? Why take the good and preserve the evil? Why are you so cruel and fierce? When you fear not man or land You will sure face a certain defeat When man cease to live in your fear When he cherishes the day known And peacefully hope for the day unknown Live, O man, be free from the grip of fear Cos fear is nothing but like a morning dew The rising sun of the morning makes it disappear Fear is only a mirage that mires our view 27 To My Momma The First Lady of my family A safe pillar when I falter The chief-donor of my charity The strength of my father She loves me without limit She lifts me without weary Prays for me without ceasing She holds me never leaving My mother is a nurse without hours She nurtures with grace and balance My mother is a teacher without papers A mix of virtuous, strong and wise Peace to you Oh woman of honor My heart will always cherish the beauty of you You’ve filled me with light and color I will forever be in awe of your good 28 Strictly for him You want a woman that is a wife material You need to be a damn good tailor yourself You want her slim, sexy and tall You better start hitting the gym yourself Don’t go around looking for a ready-made She’s only complete when she finds the right fit Be useful and mold yourself into the right shape She’ll be grateful and perfect when you do meet Be a man and grow a pair Don’t be shy of duty and responsibility Be a man and earn a pay Be smart and assured with humility This is not the age for baby mamas Your children need a guide and a leader They deserve a shot at the normal They need a real family to prosper 29 Jack the dull boy If all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy Then all play and no work will make Jack a hungry boy If all work and no play makes Jack a workaholic All play and no work will make Jack an Alcoholic Work for the right to play Work for the chance to play your own game Work and play with balance is desirable Work and play without balance is miserable Be sure to work while you can Cos the season will come when you can’t Work now and play later Or play now and work forever Hustle hard and play safe There’s no harm in spending what you gained Be sure to keep a silo for the raining day Cos there’s no pleasure in the drain 30 Gold digger by default You want a man that rides a Ferrari When you father drives a Mitsubishi You want a French prince to take you to Tahiti When all you speak is Swahili Gold digger comes in different shapes and forms The Alisa that wants to marry Mr. Obama You come from Botswana and you want to be a Mrs. Ford As if beautiful women have suddenly dried up in America You don’t cook, care or clean And you want a man to sweep you off your feet You bet your ass he’ll sweep you off your feet If only to get you out of his feed It’s not your fault to want the flashy and fancy It’s in your default to crave the glittery and trending But you have to get rid of your wishes and fantasies This is a time for the brave and creative Life is a game of give and take 31 You don’t expect love when you give hate You have to be ready to seize the day When prince charming drives in seeking a graduate Gold digging is not a crime It is a game of precision and chance You either win or you lose And your odds lower when you’re loose 32 Factory setting The default nature of man’s soul and mind Bright, beautiful, simple, clear and shiny Until he meddles with the default settings Then it turns dark, perplexed and insatiable 33 You’re hardly ever alone You’re hardly ever alone There’s always a breath in you Life itself an enduring companion You’re hardly ever alone Look at the mirror and reflect There’s already someone there with you Someone that understands exactly how you feel That person is YOU Surprised? You shouldn’t be You’re hardly ever alone When you’ve got music and art There’s a love in them that endures When it seems you’re all alone Alone with your thoughts and troubles Focus on you and what you are You’re always what you see in you 34 Eighty nine and counting She's eighty nine and still agile Full of love and life packed in smiles We had a long and happy life He was a good man in his life Take the money I don't need it My pension is enough to feed me I've never needed too much money My husband was rich and wealthy He hated my love of folk music He's a good man no doubt His son, my son also hates my music They're men, what do they know? I feel ever so strong and alive Take this chocolate and be happy I wish you a life as happy as mine Bring me home some groceries She's loved as she loves 35 Her smile ever so radiant and bright Her love of all ever so strong Hard to believe she'll be ninety Eight nine and counting is inspired and dedicated to a beautiful woman who despite only knowing me for a short time has left a huge and lasting impression. Her joy and smiles radiates all around her. She always tells me how much she loves me and how it's important to her that I know 36 Lies of a first date I want to know all about you What you like and dislike I want to see more of the real you What do you want from your life? I don't want to be on this date My favorite team plays by eight I never liked Linkin Park or Coldplay I lie because that is the easy way Tell me more about you please I'm male, banker and black What do you do when you're free? I pretend that I like this chat Will you go on a park walk with me? Sure. I love parks like I do meat I've never actually been there before But I'll sleep there if you so need It's been a nice and wonderful dinner 37 You're a gentleman and a good listener I know I've already bit your ears off Forgive me for being a chatterbox Come on, it's been a lovely date We have a great deal in common We share the same ideas and taste We'll even make a great skate team Really? I used to love skating But skating alone really got boring I'm glad you know how to skate How about next week Thursday? Thursday works. It'll be a date Now I just need to learn skating Six days to prevent a disgrace If only I had stopped lying 38 Diva or coco Alisa shakes and twists on slippers Leather jacket on a hot summer Leggings in a 400C weather Are you a retard or just mental Relationship status reads very complicated If complicated means how many cats to get Swallow your pride and widen your net Maybe the mail man will be interested Alisa is as lonely as a ghost She needs a friend but she’s too proud to ask She feels it’ll damage her sense of superiority I don’t need no one, I’m better alone 39 New day tomorrow 2 I've got all the time in the world I'm still only very young Oh how naive man can be? When time flies in a blink I'm going to see the world I'm going to ease the course I'm still only in my morn I've got more time to come I will marry the most beautiful I will drive the most fanciful I will eat the most tasteful It will be oh so delightful Listen and learn my son When did I get a grandson? Where has gone my youth Don't let time befall you Live your life now in the morn 40 Don't wait for the morrow to come Today is the day to play Tomorrow will bring a new day
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