The Poodle Cat-astrophe Thanos Kalamidas ThE P oodlE C aT-asTRoPhE Thanos Kalamidas Ovi ebooks are available in Ovi/Ovi eBookshelves pages and they are for free. If somebody tries to sell you an Ovi book please contact us immediately. For details, contact: ovimagazine@yahoo.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the writer or the above publisher of this book An Ovi eBooks Publication 2025 Ovi eBookPublications - All material is copyright of the Ovi eBooks Publications & the writer C The Poodle Cat-astrophe The Poodle Cat-astrophe Thanos Kalamidas Thanos Kalamidas An Ovi eBooks Publication 2025 Ovi eBookPublications - All material is copyright of the Ovi eBooks Publications & the writer C The Poodle Cat-astrophe O kay, okay. You’re not gonna believe this, but I swear on my whole stash of fizzy cola bot- tles and the half-sucked sherbet lemon un- der my bed (don’t judge me) that this is 100% TRUE. It all started at the Annual Whizzington Pet Pa- rade & Slightly Unhinged Talent Show, which, in case you didn’t know, is like The X-Factor for animals but with way more poo and WAY less Simon Cowell. Everyone brings their weirdest pets to show off in front of the Mayor (who wears a hat so big I’m 90% sure there’s a second, smaller mayor living inside it). Last year, Mrs. Henderson’s poodle, Princess Toot- sie Fluffington III , won first prize for balancing on a beach ball while simultaneously yapping the theme tune to Downton Abbey . I KNOW. I still have night- mares. Thanos Kalamidas But this year... this year was DIFFERENT. See, my best mate Ravi and I were entering Stan- ley , my hamster. He’s not just any hamster, he can high-five (sometimes), scream like a kettle when he’s excited (most times), and once escaped into my sis- ter’s Barbie Dreamhouse and took over the kitchen. LEGEND. Anyway, Ravi and I were hyped. Stanley was hyped. Mum was hyped because she thought this was the year I’d finally win something that didn’t involve “most improved at being quiet” (which I only got be- cause I had laryngitis for a week). But then she turned up. MRS. HENDERSON. She strutted into the park like she was the Queen of Whizzington, dragging a fluffy white creature in a pink glitter harness behind her. “Say hello to the defending champion,” she sneered. “Princess Tootsie Fluffington the Fourth.” Fourth?! What happened to the THIRD? Did she explode from too much glitter? Did she get lost in a poodle-themed wormhole? I had QUESTIONS. The Poodle Cat-astrophe But before I could demand answers, Ravi leaned over and whispered, “Jimmy... that’s not a poodle.” I squinted. The “dog” looked... weird. Too pointy. Too twitchy. And it meowed. I REPEAT: IT. MEOWED. “A cat in a WIG?!” I hissed, nearly choking on my Fruit Winder. “I think she’s trying to cheat,” Ravi said, eyes wide. “That’s totally a cat in disguise!” And that’s when I knew: THIS was revenge . See, everyone remembers how Mrs. Henderson was dis- qualified last year for bribing the judges with home- made dog-shaped shortbread that suspiciously tast- ed like glue sticks. (I know. I tried one. For science.) She’d lost her precious trophy, stormed off shout- ing, “You’ll ALL regret this!” and then vanished into her house for eleven months and twenty-nine days. And now she was BACK, with a fake poodle and an even faker smile. I had no choice. Operation Wig Snatch was go. Thanos Kalamidas * * * * * * Plan A was simple: Get close. Distract the judges. Pull off the wig. I volunteered Stanley for the Extreme Obstacle Course of Doom, which is basically a plastic tunnel, two cones, and a hoop that smells like sweaty ferrets. While the crowd “oohed” and “aahed” at his majestic (ish) performance, I snuck behind Mrs. Henderson’s glittery tent. Princess Tootsie sat on a sparkly cushion, licking her own butt like it was a Michelin-star meal. “You’re not fooling me , whiskers,” I muttered. Just as I was about to grab the wig, the cat turned its head slooooowly and stared at me like it could see into my soul Then it hissed. LOUDLY. And launched itself at my FACE. There was a scream (mine). There was chaos. Ravi shouted, “IT’S HAPPENING!” like a dramatic weather reporter. Stanley escaped and was last seen The Poodle Cat-astrophe somersaulting into someone’s handbag. A small dog did a wee on the mayor’s big foot. The judges ran over, and so did Mrs. Henderson, flapping her arms like a distressed flamingo. “What’s going on here?” demanded Mr. Tibbles, Head Judge and owner of a goldfish named Jeff who thinks he’s a shark. I pointed to the fluffball now hanging from my head. “THAT’S NOT A POODLE! IT’S A FLUFFY FAKER!” Everyone gasped. The cat finally dropped to the grass with a plop, shook off the wig like it had just escaped a terrible musical, and strutted away with maximum sass Silence. Then Mrs. Henderson let out the weirdest laugh ever. “FINE! You caught me! But it was worth it to take that hideous trophy down a peg!” She tried to escape but tripped over Stanley (who had returned, carrying a boiled sweet in his mouth like a heroic hamster pirate), and face-planted into the ferret hoop. Thanos Kalamidas * * * * * * In the end, Mrs. Henderson got banned for life. The cat (whose real name is Sir Meowsington Von Sassypaws , by the way) got adopted by the Mayor’s cousin. And Stanley? STANLEY WON. Best in Show. Obstacle Champion. Hero Hamster of the Year. The trophy is now in my room, right next to the laryngitis award and my collection of novelty slime. And every time I see a cat in a wig, I salute it. Because not all heroes wear capes. Some just wear very, VERY suspicious poodle wigs. The End. The Poodle Cat-astrophe The Poodle Cat-astrophe Thanos Kalamidas Ovi eBook Publishing 2025 Ovi magazine Design: Thanos Ovi ebooks are available in Ovi/Ovi eBookshelves pages and they are for free. If somebody tries to sell you an Ovi book please contact us immediately. For details, contact: ovimagazine@yahoo.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the writer or the above publisher of this book An Ovi eBooks Publication 2025 Ovi eBookPublications - All material is copyright of the Ovi eBooks Publications & the writer C Thanos Kalamidas Thanos Kalamidas ThE P oodlE C aT-asTRoPhE Thanos Kalamidas , a multipublished writer, cartoonist and illustrator; born and grew up in a picturesque neighbourhood on the moun- tainside of Hymettus in Athens, Greece. Then his life took him to Berlin, Germany and to London, UK for studies. After a brief stay in Yorkshire he moved his life to Paris, France while working in Tokyo, Japan and in Cape Town, South Africa. In the last 25 years he became a permanent Scandinavian resident and recently, in his glorious sixth de- cade, he moved to a scenic village in the Växjö area.