Love Songs Vol. 2 Week 3 - February 28, 2021 Song of Solomon 6-8 GETTING TO KNOW YOU 1. Which is harder for you, to give or receive words of affirmation? What makes it so difficult for you? 2. Have you ever shared a compliment that backfired? What was the result? 3. Stephen Covey said, “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior”. Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? 4. Dave Willis said, “Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife”. Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? 5. Lisa TerKeurst said, “God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix him’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘love him’ wife”. Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? 6. Looking back at your notes from this week’s sermon, was there anything that particularly caught your attention, challenged or confused you? DIGGING DEEPER 1. Last week we looked at conflict in the relationship. The conflict has been resolved and the couple will experience a grace filled season in their marriage. What does Solomon say to his wife in chapters 6 & 7? What does this do for his bride? How does it make her feel? What is her response to him? What does she say to him? How does he receive it? How does speaking godly compliments, encouragement, and edification build up relationships? • What does your normal communication pattern with your spouse sound like? Does it build up or tear down? Explain. When you think of good things to say, do you say them? Do you avoid saying mean or hurtful things? Why do we need to guard our words with our spouse? How important is our words and communication with each other? What are some ways that you can start to speak life and positive words of affirmation this week? What negative patterns of communication do you need to avoid? 2. The couple not only takes time building each other up with words of affirmation, but they put words into actions. Time was an issue for the young couple, what do they commit to doing after resolving their conflict? How much time do they give to one another? What does where we spend our time say about us? • How much time do you set aside for your spouse? Do you actively date your spouse? How often do intentionally set aside uninterrupted time for each other? How often do you have date nights? • What do you find yourself wanting most from your spouse: being pursued, included, thought of, romanced, helped, or given to? What things seem less important to you? What does your spouse want? How can you meet each other’s needs? Explain. 3. Besides time what actions were taken on by this couple? Do actions speak louder then words? Explain. How was thought put into the actions themselves? When you do things for others, what does it say to them? What actions resonate most with those you are in relationship with? What actions are you not doing, that you need to start doing? Explain. • Is it easier for you to say something special or do something special? Which do you prefer most in return? Do your intentions ever fail or fall short to reach actions? Explain. What are the best ways your spouse closes the gap between intentions and actions? Out of the action/s which ones are natural for you and which ones take intentional effort? What are some intentions you haven’t turned into actions? How could you close the gap? 4. If you don’t like what you are getting, look at what you are giving. What are some things that you wish were different about your relationships or marriage? How often do you wish your spouse would change in an area? What can you do to be what you wish was different? • How can you avoid trying to change your spouse? What are some “purposeful time” or “thoughtful acts” you can do this week? 5. What will you do to keep working on your marriage in the future? Identify some ideas together for ways to put love into action. GROWING CLOSER 1. Who is someone you shared the gospel with this week? 2. What have you been reading in your quiet times? 3. What has God been teaching you?
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