Page 1 https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 1 of 90 ~ 1 ~ Page 2 Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt Oscar and the pink lady https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 2 of 90 ~ 2 ~ Page 3 Dear God , My name is Oscar, I'm ten years old, I screwed up the fire to the cat, to the dog, to the house (I even believe that I grilled the goldfish) and this is the first letter I am sending you because so far because of my studies, I had no time. I warn you right away: I hate to write. I really have to be. Because write it's garland, pompom, risette, ribbon, et cetera. Writing is nothing but a lie that embellishes. Something for adults. The proof? Here, take the beginning of my letter: "My name is Oscar, I'm ten years old, I screwed up the fire to the cat, to the dog, to the house (I even believe that I grilled the goldfish) and this is the first https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 3 of 90 ~ 3 ~ letter I am sending you because so far because of my studies, I had no time ", I could have as well put: "They call me Egg Skull, I look like I am seven years old, I live in the hospital because of my cancer and I never sent you the Page 4 speak because I don't even believe that you exist. " Only if I write this, it doesn't give a damn, you're going less interest me. Now I need you you care. It would even suit me if you had time to do me two or three services. I explain to you. The hospital is a super-cool place, with full of cheerful adults talking loud, with lots of toys and pink ladies who want to have fun with children, with friends always available like Bacon, Einstein or Pop Corn, in short, the hospital is the foot if you are a sick person who gives pleasure. Me, I no longer please. Since my transplant bone marrow, I feel like I'm not doing anymore pleasure. When Doctor Diisseldorf examines me, https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 4 of 90 ~ 4 ~ in the morning, the heart is no longer there, I disappoint it. He is look without saying anything as if i had made a mistake. However, I applied myself the operation; I was wise, I left myself fall asleep, it hurt without screaming, I took all drugs. Some days I want him yell at her, tell her that maybe it's him, Page 5 Doctor Diisseldorf, with his black eyebrows, who missed the operation. But he looks so much unhappy that the insults remain in my throat. The more Doctor Düsseldorf is silent with his sorry eye, the more guilty i feel. I understood that I became a bad patient, a sick that prevents us from believing that medicine, it's great. The thought of a doctor is contagious. Now the whole floor, the nurses, the interns and housekeepers, look at me the same. They look sad when I'm good mood; they force themselves to laugh when I go out joke. True, we laugh more like before. Only Mamie-Rose has not changed. AT I think she’s too old anyway switch. And then she is too Granny-Rose, too. https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 5 of 90 ~ 5 ~ Grandma-Rose, I'm not presenting it to you, God, it's a good friend of yours, since it was she who gave me said to write to you. The problem is that there is only me who calls her Granny-Rose. So you have to make an effort to see who I am talking about: among the ladies in pink blouses who come from outdoors spending time with children sick, it's the oldest of all. Page 6 - What's your age, Mamie-Rose? - You can remember the numbers to thirteen numbers, my little Oscar? - Oh ! You spoof ! - No. Above all, we must not know my age here otherwise I get kicked out and we don't we will see more. - Why ? - I'm here smuggled. There is an age limit to be a pink lady. And I have it largely exceeded. - Are you out of date? - Yes. - Like a yogurt? - Hush! - OKAY ! I will say nothing. https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 6 of 90 ~ 6 ~ She was really brave to admit to me his secret. But she fell on the good number. I will be mute even if I find amazing, considering all the wrinkles it has, like rays of sun around the eyes, that no one suspected it. Another time i learned one of his other secrets, and with that, it's sure, God, you can identify it. Page 7 We were walking in the park of the hospital and she market on a dung. - Shit! - Grandma-Rose, you say ugly words. - Oh, you, kid, let go of my bunch one instant, i can talk as i want. - Oh Granny-Rose! - And move your ass. We walk there, we don't not a snail race. When we sat down to suck a candy on a bench, I asked him: - How is it that you speak so badly? - Professional distortion, my dear https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 7 of 90 ~ 7 ~ Oscar. In my job, I was fucked up if my vocabulary was too delicate. - And what was your job? - You will not believe me... - I swear I will believe you. - Wrestler. - I do not believe you ! - Wrestler! I was nicknamed the Strangler of Languedoc. Page 8 Since then, when I got a gloom and she sure no one can hear us, Mamie-Rose tells me about her big tournaments: the Strangler of Languedoc against Limousin charcutière, its struggle for twenty years old against Diabolica Sinclair, a Dutchwoman who had shells instead of breasts, and especially his world cup against Ulla-Ulla, known as the Buchenwald dog, who had never been battered, even by Cuisses d'Acier, the great model of Granny-Rose when she was wrestler. Me, it makes me dream of his fights, because i imagine my girlfriend like now in the ring, a little old woman pink shaky blouse in the process of cum https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 8 of 90 ~ 8 ~ the ogress mash in a swimsuit. I have feel like it's me. I become the most strong. I take revenge. Okay, if with all these clues, Mamie-Rose or the Strangler of Languedoc, you don't spot who is Mamie-Rose, God, then we must stop to be God and retire. I think that have i been clear? I return to my business. Page 9 In short, my transplant disappointed a lot here. My chemo also disappointed but it was less serious because that we had hope for a transplant. Now I have the impression that doctors no longer know what propose, even that it is pitiful. The doctor Diisseldorf, which mom finds so beautiful though I find him a little strong of the eyebrows, he has the sorry mine of a Santa Claus who would have no more gifts in his hood. The atmosphere is deteriorating. I told my buddy Bacon. In fact his name is not Bacon, but Yves, but we called him Bacon because that suits him much better, since he's a great burned. https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 9 of 90 ~ 9 ~ Bacon, I feel like the doctors don't love me more, I depress them. - You speak, Egg Skull! Doctors are indestructible. They always have lots of ideas of operations to do to you. I calculated that they promised me at least six. - Maybe you inspire them. - Must believe. Page 10 - But why don't they tell me everything just that I'm going to die? There, Bacon, he did like everyone else the hospital: he became deaf. If you say "die" in a hospital, nobody hears. You can be sure there will be an air hole and that we will talk about something else. I did the test with everyone world. Except with Mamie-Rose. So this morning, I wanted to see if she, too, she became hard on the sheet at that time. - Grandma-Rose, I have the impression that nobody don't tell me I'm going to die. https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 10 of 90 ~ 10 ~ She's looking at me. Will she react like others ? Please, the Strangler of the Languedoc, resist and keep your ears! - Why do you want to be told if you do know, Oscar! Phew, she heard. - I have the impression, Mamie-Rose, that we invented another hospital than the one that exists really. We pretend we don't come to Page 11 the hospital only to heal. While we are there also comes to die. - You're right, Oscar. And I think we're doing the same mistake for life. We forget that life is fragile, brittle, ephemeral. We let's all pretend to be immortal. - She's a failure, my operation, Mamie-Rose? Mamie-Rose did not respond. It was his way it's up to her to say yes. When she was sure that I understood, she approached me asked in a pleading tone: https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 11 of 90 ~ 11 ~ - I didn't tell you, of course. You swear to me? - Juror. We were silent for a while, just to be good stir up all these new thoughts. - If you wrote to God, Oscar? - Ah no, not you, Mamie-Rose! - What, not me? - Not you ! I thought you weren't liar. - But I'm not lying to you. Page 12 - So why are you talking to me about God? We already hit me with Santa Claus. Once enough! - Oscar, there is no connection between God and the Santa Claus. - Yes. Same. Skull stuffing and company! - Do you imagine that I, a former wrestler, one hundred and sixty tournaments earned on one hundred and sixty-five, of which forty-three by K.-0., the Strangler of Languedoc, I can believe for a second in Santa Claus ? https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 12 of 90 ~ 12 ~ - No. - Well I don't believe in Santa Claus but I believe in God. Here. Obviously, said like that, it changed all. - And why should I write to God? - You would feel less alone. - Less alone with someone who doesn't exist? - Make it exist. She leaned toward me. Page 13 - Whenever you believe in him, he will exist a bit more. If you persist, there will be completely. So it will do you good. - What can I write to her? - Give him your thoughts. Thoughts you don't don't say, these are thoughts that weigh, become encrusted, which weigh you down, which immobilize you, who take the place of new ideas that rot you. You go become a discharge to old thoughts which stink if you don't speak. https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 13 of 90 ~ 13 ~ - OKAY - And then, to God, you can ask him for a thing a day. Warning ! Only one. - It sucks, your God, Mamie-Rose. Aladdin, he was entitled to three wishes with the genius of the lamp. - One wish a day is better than three in a life, right? - OK So can I order everything from him? Toys, candy, a car ... - No, Oscar. God is not Santa Claus. You can only ask for things from the mind. - Example? Page 14 - Example: courage, patience, clarification. - Ok I see. - And you can also, Oscar, suggest some favors for others. - One wish a day, Mamie-Rose, don't messing around, I'll keep it first for me! Here. So God, on the occasion of this first https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 14 of 90 ~ 14 ~ letter, I showed you a little bit about the kind of life that I was here, at the hospital, where people are looking at me now as an obstacle to medicine, and I would like to ask you for a clarification: what will I cure? You answer yes or no. It's not very complicated. Yes or no. You bar the unnecessary mention. See you tomorrow, kisses, Oscar. PS I don't have your address: how do I do it? Page 15 https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 15 of 90 ~ 15 ~ Page 16 Dear God , Well done! You are really strong. Before I even have posted the letter, you give me the answer. How are you doing ? This morning I was playing chess with Einstein in https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 16 of 90 ~ 16 ~ the recreation room when Pop Corn came Notify me : Your parents are here. My parents ? It's not possible. They don't come than Sunday. I saw the car, a red Jeep with the tarp white. It's not possible. I shrugged and kept playing with Einstein. But as I was concerned, Einstein stole all my pieces from me, and it got me even more pissed off. If we call him Einstein, it's not because he is smarter than the others but because he has the head which makes double of Page 17 volume. It is said to be water inside. It's a shame, it would have been brains, it could have done great things, Einstein. When I saw that I was going to lose, I left drop the game and I followed Pop Corn whose bedroom overlooks the parking lot. He was right : my parents had arrived. https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 17 of 90 ~ 17 ~ You have to tell yourself, God, that we live far away, my parents and me. I didn't realize it when I lived there but now that I didn't live more, I think it's really far. Of suddenly my parents can't come see me only once a week on Sunday, because on Sunday they don't work, neither do I more. - You see I was right, said Pop Corn. How much you give me for having you warned? - I have hazelnut chocolates. - Do you have more Tagada strawberries? - No. - OK for chocolates. Page 18 Obviously, we have no right to give to eat at Pop Corn since he is there to lose weight. Ninety-eight kilograms at nine, for a ten meters high by ten meters wide! The only garment in which it fits entirely, it's an american polo sweatshirt. And even, the stripes are seasick. Frankly, https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 18 of 90 ~ 18 ~ like none of my friends or me we believe that he can never stop being fat and that he makes us feel so sorry he's hungry, we give him always our leftovers. It's tiny, chocolate, compared to such a fat mass! If we have wrong, while the nurses also stop, to stuff him with suppositories. I went back to my room to wait my parents. At first, I did not see the minutes because I was breathless and then I have realized that they had had fifteen times the time to get to me. Suddenly, I guessed where they were. I am slipped into the hallway; when no one saw, I went down the stairs, then I walked in the dark until the doctor's office Dusseldorf. Page 19 Won! They were there. The voices came to me from behind the door. As I was exhausted by the descent, I took a few seconds to put my heart back in place and that's where everything went haywire. I heard what I shouldn't have hear. My mother was sobbing, the doctor https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 19 of 90 ~ 19 ~ Dùsseldorf repeated: "We have tried everything, believe that we have tried everything "and my father replied in a strangled voice: "I am sure, doctor, I'm sure. " I stayed with my ear glued to the iron door. I no longer knew who was the coldest, metal or me. Then Doctor Dùsseldorf said: Do you want to kiss her? I will never have the courage, said my mother. - He must not see us in this state, a added my father. And that's when I understood that my parents were two cowards. Worse: two cowards who me took for a coward! Page 20 As there were noises from chairs in the office I guessed they were going out and I opened the first door that came up. That's how I ended up in the https://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_f 2019-12-15, 10<01 PM Page 20 of 90