“And just what the fuck are you doing, PFC Possum?” Stash Sargent Olive bellowed as she walked up to her subordinate, evidently playing on her gellphone. “Well, *Sergeant, I’m killing time playing Boppin: Unchaned X while we wait for the actual people with authority around here to give us our new orders,” Possum retorted. “Besides, you literally gave yourself that title, weed joke and all. Your job was to train a couple juvies and introduce the molotov mortar, not boss around established gangsters.” Olive dropped the act and perked up at the mention of a Boppin 2 sequel. “Jennifer Diane Reitz made a phone game?” “Slimecorp made a phone game, JDR did a bit of the writing but it was mostly Slimecorp.” “Any word when Boppin 3 is coming out? It’s been like 14 years since Boppin 2. Boppin 1 was good but I think Jennifer really outdid herself with Boppin 2 and Birth By Slime.” “Yeah it came out like 2 years ago, haven’t you been watching N8’s videos? It was pretty good but a bit poorly paced and tonally inconsistent.” “Please enlighten me as to why the fuck I would willingly watch any N8 content outside of the lectures.” Possum shrugged and kept tapping her gellphone, likely killing Slimeless or Unblursed or something, nobody really payed attention to this installment’s story anyway. “Word from the kingpins yet, your highness?” “Jack shit so far. I think we completed the event too quickly, admittedly I’ve had a lot more time to void fish with DaKAT than I should.” “The staydead you’re hats with? Is he showing up for the invasion?” “He said he’d join in if he’s awake. His internal clock is like it’s in a different timezone or something.” At once, every gellphone in NLACakaNM went off with a notification that the kingpins were livestreaming, everyone in the district looked at their phones at once as if screaming - “Jesus fucking Christ finally!” MiddayMinotaur screamed. Yeah that. “Rowdy,” Munchy began. “Fuckers!” Ben continued. “Cop” “Killers!” “In: The War on CWCville! Anyway sorry for the bad audio we totally aren’t locked in a bunker right now.” “Yep, no way.” “Anyway so update: You all have done an amazing job of removing the sonichu menace from NLACakaNM, but it’s time to take the fight to them.” “Your goal is to avenge the 70,000 zucked and shambled during the Bicarbonate Rain.” “I’m gonna stop you before you go on some gay shit, Ben, Endless War has opened several portals to CWCville, talk among yourselves as to how you want to invade, and remember if you !revive you’ll end up back here with revive slime, effectively being out of the fight. Endless War will !nuke in 36 hours.” “I think you mean !dab.” “No, !thrash.” “!da-” Olive locked her phone, ending her viewing of the stream. Then realised her comms app was literally on her phone and unlocked it. “!thra-” She then closed Twitch and opened her comms app, posting in Detention Center: So what’s the plan? Johnny Millerchip replied: I say we catapult meatshield juvies into the town and take the first major building we see before we actually plan anything. Anyone here know magick? Possum added. Everyone knows magic doesn’t real, dumbass. A_Juvie added, despite the name they very obviously had the SlimeCorp role. Should I stay behind to defend a portal? Asked Lab00n. Yeah, we’ll be right back lmao. Possum said, confidently. The squad marginally under Olive agreed that they would cut off enemy supply lines in the fight to come, utilising the gorilla guerrilla tactics they were trained in. As Endless War opened the portal in Charcoal Park, the squad !equipped, !sidearmed, and readied their poudrins. DaKAT !inhabited Olive and !possessed her Bailnat, a nailbat. All rushed into the commercial district of CWCville, Virginia. The first stop was the McDonalds, Olive simply walked behind the counter, cut open an entire box’s worth of cinnamon apple Quaker Oats oatmeal and dumped it into the floor drain. The cashier stared at her the entire time, puzzled. “Ma’am pardon my French but what the fu-” He asked before a .308 round exited his forehead from Possum’s rifle. Both Possum and Olive dabbed before filling a cup with ice and gasoline from a molotov and tossing it in the deep fryer. They ran out of there immediately, Olive was hit by the explosion but popped a poudrin before any serious damage was done. GameStop never stood a chance. Also it was firebombed. That’s all there is to say about that. Street after street was captured. No real resistance was met until they flanked one of the entrances to the mall, a coalition of Rowdys and Killers were attacking the front entrance with marked resistance from a sonichu and some baseline humans. DaKAT !haunted the district. The first scream came from DaKAT as the haunting began, then a cacophony of screams came from the baseline humans as, in place of slime, all the moisture was removed from their bodies. Their eyes shriveled and they instantly mummified, their screams died on their lips; quick but far from painless. The sonichu was barely affected, but at least the fight was over. Tainted by slime the chimera of totally original characters do not steal was brought down simply to zero slime and laid down immediately after by The Coalition. “Well, we’ve essentially destroyed their economy with minimal losses.” Lightenant (a portmanteau of Light and Lieutenant) Millerchip said. “What next, Lightenant?” Olive asked. “First stop calling me that, second, whatever you want. I vote we raid the downtown area proper, paint it purple, and let Endless War take care of the rest.” “Whatever you say, Lightenant.” Olive saluted before sending ‘her squad’ through some of their streets towards the downtown area of CWCville. They flanked and haunted their way through the streets as they made their way downtown. By the time they hit downtown they were the only gangsters there, with only one other slimeboi present, a single remembrancer juvie chronicling the fight to come. MiddayMinotaur sighed and pointed their shotgun mortar at the statue in the centre of town, directly at the statue of Sonichu themselves. As they fired the shot it exploded at the end of the broomstick, igniting the clothing and eventually the flesh of the new recruit. They were able to !revive, but felt every second of their molten death. All present drew their weapons at the statue as it animated into Sonichu, flickered, and became Night Star. “Oh, you mean to kill me, mere humans? Debased as you are?” She introduced. “I am Night Star, creator of this reality and deity of it.” Everyone laughed at this. “You don’t believe me? Observe,” She said as a rift opened in front of her. An older woman, somewhere in her low 60’s floated through the portal, obviously not of her own accord. “Where? Who? What the hell?” The baseline human asked. “Jennifer,” Night Star began. “Out of curiosity, was there ever a sequel to Boppin?” The Killers in the squad paled; they had heard the lecture about The Cop Killer’s true reality. “A published one? No, by the time I had the idea of a sequel I had created Unicorn Jelly.” “And where is that set?” “Tryslmaistan?” “I’m sorry. I can’t hear you quite well. Could you repeat that?” “Tryslmaistan.” Jennifer Diane Reitz replied, beginning to sound annoyed. “I promise I’m taking notes, can you sound it out for me?” Night Star grinned. “Trysl-mai-stan!” The artist from dimension 1218 nearly growled. “Well call me a fuck and pot pie me sideways.” Night Star paused before tossing the poor old woman back through the portal. “Now I have full access to that reality, so if you’ll excuse me.” Out of the portal she summoned came three creatures made from an extra-universal logic. The shape they took in this universe therefore had to conform to the logic of this universe. Out of the portal came a man with purple/white hair, a man wearing a military beret, and a creature seemingly made of elemental water. The last of which tore a gash in the earth as it absorbed the local groundwater in its body. The man with purple/white hair began to speak, “What are we doing here, exactly?” “These three threaten Tryslmaistan, thus you have been commanded to kill them.” The Unicorn smiled. “I mean nobody really commands us,” says the man, ironically enough in a military beret. “You have no de jure authority against us, I don’t even know you.” “Yeah I mean fuck this.” “Wait,” Night Star started. “No like actually fuck you for summoning us. Sen let’s merc this fool.” Said the man in the beret. “Yeah, Wunchy, let’s whack this fool.” Said the man with purple and white hair. As the men allowed the power of chatoyance to leak into the universe of C-197, as they levitated due to the difference in physics between the two dimensions. So as the mirror versions of the kingpins acted, so too did the mirror version of Endless War. The water elemental, for lack of a better description, 50 stories tall, reacted to protect who summoned it from the two PingKins (no relation to the Mulan character. The squad inched towards towards the reality bender herself while the more impressive battle raged across the newly created cliff. As they drew closer Possum saw her chance and took aim at Night Star, as soon as the bullet fired from the rifle everything occurred at once. The bullet, as it exited the barrel was captured by the “distracted” Night Star, Olive charged, DaKAT !haunted, bringing Night Star to 100 slime, Possum crushed a poudrin, the bullet was redirected towards Possum’s head, Olive brained Night Star with Bailnat, Night Star was brought to zero slime by DaKAT’s haunting, Possum took the bullet her shoulder thanks to her post-human reflexes, Olive took a back-swing on Night Star’s head destabilising the portal she had created and removing the extra-dimensional elements from this realm she had brought forward. DaKAT caused the same effect on Night Star as he had on the militia earlier, as Night Star had been effectively brought to the brink of Zucking. Well, DaKAT zucked her. The body was completely removed of moisture, nothing even resembling slime remained, even bone marrow was simply turned to solid matter. The body of Night Star turned to dust; the figureheads, as far as Olive and her squad were concerned, had been dealt with, with Sonichu captured, Night Star dusted, and Endless War performing the true killing blow in 24 hours or less she half-carried Possum the 4 hour walk back to their portal. “So, Kraker, how do you plan on getting us out of this mess?” asked Possum. “Same way I get us out of any mess, Bustah. We take over the city.” Olive laughed.