SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 1 WELCOME! "Secret Not Secret" by Michael Dean Jarman ****** The 99 .9 % accurate "Table of Contents" is on Page 12 for you I ntro skippers. What i s "Secret Not Secret" ? Why is it 277 (or so) pages long ? Why is it in 5 different parts ? IF THIS SEEMS OVER WHELMING TRY SETTING A TIMER FOR 10 MINUTES AND YOU'LL BE SURPRISED AT HOW FAR YOU GET Answer #1 : For more than 187 years prior to August 2017 millions of followers of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - Day Saints " proudly and culturally referred to themselves as "Mormons." Since 2017 and with nearly 17 million followers today, parts of the culture has preferred not to use the term " Mormons " and prefers other terms including " Member " or " LDS " instead. However, for the organization as a whole includin g it's $150 billion dollar commercial and financial functions including it's universities, it's peculiar privately owned law school, it's billions of dollars of fluctuating stock holdings, it's fluctuating land holdi ngs etc... the term "Mormonism" seems to b e acceptable. That said, "Secret Not Secret" reveals an unprecedented case study of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - Day Saints." The result is an ultimately patriotic, " third narrative " for " Mormonism ." This original, third narrative is based on t housands of hidden, verifiable facts from the U.S.A.'s pre - modern times through today and is told from the fictional perspective of a fearless 15 year old female victim born Lucy Hill and named Lucy Hill Harris after she was forced into marrying her first cousin 23 year old Martin Harris when she was 15. SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 2 This " third narrative " is more comprehensive and factually correct than the other two, more prominent narratives for Mormonism. In fact, it is the most comprehensive and factually correct narrative for Mo rmonism ever A public or private open invitation continues to be extended to any historians who claim it is not. The story sharing this "third narrative" is Part 1 of the 5 parts of "Secret Not Secret" and is titled "The Book Of T he Bone Fire Girl ." It starts on page 21 The table of contents includes page numbers to a list of five different summaries of "The Book Of The Bone Fire Gir l." (Because there are many different perspectives of "Mormonism" it seems having five different summaries for people to choose from to share with others made sense.) This longer version is more of a plot and documentary guide for the different types of films I expect to be made from this "third narrative." A short 3 minute video sharing some insight to "The Book Of The Bo ne Fire Girl" can be found on TikTok @GuvvyWuvvy title d "Why all members and ex - members are victims " The reason I chose @GuvvyWuvvy as a handle is because to some people this is some heavy stuff and it's important to remember that sometimes "laughter is t he best medicine" and to me "@GuvvyWuvvy" is a good way to remind Utahans that the future is bright! You also might notice that "Audit Your Lawyer.com" and "Origins Of Abuse.com" are also mostly replicated as sections 3 and 4 in "Secret Not Secret." (It's just part of the process for now and creating different ways for this information to be discovered and shared.) Links to other videos of me geeking out about all this including how Californians can save California by helping be become the next Governor o f Utah and more including my contact information can be found at www.UtahDap.com Answer #2 : You should be able to tell clearly by now that "Secret Not Secret" IS NOT AN ATTACK the LDS culture that is a part of "Mormonism." "Secret Not Secret" i s pers onalizing, inclusive and validating. Here's 7 reasons why... # 1. If you are a n American , "Secret Not Secret" includes a n unconscionable but proud rewriting of U.S. History and the brave people SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 3 who immigrated to America from places like Scotland, Ireland a nd England # 2. If you are a follower , a former follower, one of the many " followers fighting followers " or even a non - follower of "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter - Day Saints , " Part 1 is also rewriting of " Church History " with a bright, patriotic m essage spanning more than 223 years #3. S ome p eople may attempt to claim "The Book Of T he Bone Fire Girl" is a misguided jukebox rock n' roll "parody " at best because it has relevant '80's music lyrics sprinkled throughout . For now, that's part of the p rocess of keeping it light and may lend itself to some highly interactive stage performances. So you can discover for yourself how few creative liberties I took in creating this latest draft of the " fictional " context of the factually based " The Book Of T he Bone Fire Girl," I have also made available to you hundreds of hidden l inks for your comparison and discussion. Found on UtahDap.com Some of the most critical links take you deep within Brigham Young U niversity's own hidden archives. This includes that 99% of Mormonism's leadership are related to one or more other leaders in one way or another and some are related to controversial U.S. politic ians going back several decades. B ut even with all this , all followers ( and even the leadership ) a re victims of selective , cultural history purveyed to one generation or another and it's not their fault Among countless other curiosities, "The Book Of The Bone Fire Girl" also shines a new light on : 1) W hy for decades critical "secrets" involving temples are in rece nt years taught as "not secret" to the next generation without telling the previous generation; 2) W hy "The Book of Mormon" has had more than 3,000 errors corrected while other errors were not corrected ; 3) That in Mormonism's history there is a 24 year pe riod filled with counter intuitive events involving many different hidden pe ople with many unique abilities, reputations and connections and it is hidden during a critical 24 year period in U.S. History between 1821 - 1845 ; 4) That this 24 year period is par t of a 42 year period during which the U.S. stalled at regularly forming new states after forming the first 17 states (on paper) in the 16 years between 1786 - 1803 ; 5) W hy o nly 9 states were formed ( on paper ) SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 4 during those 42 years between 18 03 - 1845 and why within tho se 41 years only two states were formed during that 24 year period (t he same 24 years comprising most of Mormonism's pub lished beginnings that are claimed to have occurred from the "Spring of 1820 " - June 27, 1844 (Joseph's murder. ) These counte r intuitive events don't even began to scratch the surface of the eye - popping events you are about to discover. It's also important to acknowledge that e ven though this was all still decades before the civil war (1861 - 1865) , the Nation had already failed because many parts of these "states" were already figh ting over one thing or another ( even fighting over the "constitution , " ) and also had plans of their own. So did the other Nations that already claimed the vast majority of the continent named "America " (*"America" was named after Amerigo Vespucci in 1507 on a map made by Martin Waldseemuller. According to most history, Columbus discovered the continent in 1492, 500 years after Leif Eriksson. For Eriksson, word didn't spread like it did for Columbus due to the more primitive time for Eriksson.) #4 If you are a citizen of Utah or have been over the last 90 years, regardless of your affiliations or not , "Secret Not Secret" is a whistleblowing report revealing " 23 Invisible Poisonous Pills " used for the past 90 years by tribalistic members of a private corporation allowed to hide behind the banner of "Utah Law" and be deceptively known as "The Utah State Bar " They create imposter parts under the banner of Utah's courthouses to target, to exploit and to destroy U tahan's from all walks of life for the financial gain of their tribe and themselves To do this, h undreds of these tribalistic imposters are allowed to use these " 23 Invisible Poisonous Pills " by posing as "attorneys," "commissioners" and "judges ." Every year, hundreds of these imposters use these poisonous pills to collude in ways that include intentionally confusing and overwhelming thousands of innocent victims the imposter "attorneys" deceptively disguise as their "clients " They do this unt il the "clients" become so disenfranchised t hat in a regrettable moment the "clients" euthanize themselves by committing suicide and after the imposters find out they can secretly steal hundreds of thousands of dollars from their dead "client " ( and the dea d client's heirs ) by adding those unconscionable amounts to the dead clients " bill ," collecting it all with the click of a button and then SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 5 blaming it all on the dead "client." If somehow the "client" doesn't commit suicide as the imposters intentional coll uding, attacking and artificially dragging things on for years goes on , the imposters are still able to rob tens of thousands of dollars from the ir "clients." There are criti cal parts of these 23 Invisible Poisonous Pills on the "court's" website and "Utah State Bar's" website hiding right in plain sight and those parts are identified to provide you with another way to have no doubt that this is happening. (Archives of these websites have been made so if the imposters try to hide these parts of these 23 Inv isible Poisonous Pill s they can still be displayed.) These imposters use these 23 Invisible Poisonous Pill s because the fortunes are so big and so easy to steal that they have become addicted to stealing except they are worse than addicts. They are worse than serial killers . The horrific difference is that instead of using ropes, chains, clubs, knives and guns to kill they have weaponized what is supposed to be "medicine" and secretly turned it into "poison." They have literally, invisibly, "weaponized" yo ur friendly neighborhood courthouse into a house of horrors. There is plenty of proof and there are plenty of survivors ready to come forward. Now you know what really happened to your loved one and friends who they said was "frustrated with the legal sy stem," or "was a drunk" or "was a druggy" or "owed their attorney so much money they must have really had a lot of problems." It's all part of the imposter's overdosing and deceptions. This unconscionable horror and betrayal secretly enabled in Utah for m ore than 90 years is why parts of Utah also s ecretly have the highest rates in the Nation for suicide , child abuse, fraud and other horrors. Horrifically , it is the "manufactured chaos" and actions of generational imposters that rope in talented, bright, once well intending students and turn them into imposters too. Everyone from the Governor ' s office down for the past 90 years and even Utah's public law school and especially Utah's privately owned law school are to blame and there is blood from these 23 Invisible Poisonous Pill s on everyone's hands. That's part of why there is A LOT of tough work for me to do as "GuvvyWuvvy" to right these wrongs. (This is Part 2.) SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 6 #5 If you are a victim, a survivor or a loved one of a victim or a survivor of any of this, "Secret Not Secret" provides a guide to not just fighting abuse but conquering abuse and it's cycles once and for all. This includes und erstanding that "abusers" are "p eople who are hurt, hurting othe r people and hurting themselves " who then used the ir pain to make excuses to hurt other people instead of pursuing learning, growing and healing that I call "Awareness, Intervention and Advocacy." The opposite of "people who are hurt, hurting other people and hurting themselves" is that "p eople who feel special treat other people special." This guide teaches how to conquer abuse with a new , proven spectrum identifying 55 invisible strings and barbs abusers inevitably use In modern times words like " narcissistic," "sociopathic," and "psychopathic " hav e been used to describe criminal level, destructive behavior towards others but this gu ide shows that tho se are oversimplified words . It also shows how " abusers " can be "individuals" as well as different parts of " groups, " " organizations, " "the law," "pol itics," and even regional, local and familial cultures. As part of this new, proven spectrum this guide introduces two new metaphors to reference the broader cycle of abuse that it identifies and shares. These two metaphors include: 1) " Spindling" for th e way a spider spins invisible " strings " around it's victims to control them and then yanks on those strings when it needs to because it becomes addicted to yanking on them; 2) A new word I've created: " Gotheling " Derived from the Brother's Grimm's story of "Rapunzel" (and Disney's version of it " Tangled ") and how " Mother Gothel " in her own hidden pain justifies creating an invisible tower of lies to lock Rapunzel in after kidnapping her and then demands to pull on the "strings" of Rap unzel's hair whenever she needs to make sure Rapunzel i s still in th e Tower (This is Part 3) #6. "Secret Not Secret" s hares a new positive cycle to creating what I am calling " The Heard Immunity " to suicide and other emotional health challenges. This combines two decades of research from fearless medical professionals with the insight the new spectrum offers. ( This is Part 4. ) SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 7 #7 In Part 5, "Secret Not Secret" s hares more guidance including a new, sobering and hopeful interpretation for A.A. Milne and E.H. Shepard's origin al stories of "Winnie The Pooh " ( Please don't confuse the corrupted "new" Winnie The Pooh with the original stories and cartoons. When Disney calls me about this one day we'll get it all straightened out.) Because sometimes "laughter is the best medicine " part 5 also shares some irreverent insight into a handful of well known victims of the spectrum of "Gotheling." Some who were publicly misrepresented as " villains " and somehow survived (This part of Part 5 is mostly just my different attempts at keeping things light for myself as the different parts of "Secret Not Secret" came together.) ( Di d you set that time r for 10 minutes yet or are you still cheating? Better than another 10 minute scrollfest? ) Answer #3 : "Secret Not Secret" is a free, unprecede nted body of work and it is still a "work in progress." Because I'm not a professional writer an d don't ever expect to be one, use the Table of Contents to explore "Secret Not Secret" as if YOU are the professor and I am the student. This will help you bet ter stomach my run - on sentences and top sy - turvy grammatical approaches. In addition to all this, many other critical topics have been allowed to go amiss in Utah and the rest of " The West ." Because of what "Secret Not Secret" reveals about what needs to b e done in Utah and the rest of T he West, and because of my role in exploring and identifying these three key components of it all, it seems to make sense that I should be Utah's next Governor starting with getting on the ballot by November 2023 and winning the election in 2024 T his is what "The New Utah" is all about because too many parts are so broken trying to fix them would be a waste of time and new parts are needed to be implemented by a new Governor instead. This includes creating a NEW "Utah Stat e Bar" and new court processes transparently eliminating any opportunities for any of the 23 Invisible Poisonous Pills to make anyone rich off thousands of vulnerable Utahan's experienci ng divorce, custody, collection, e viction , immigration SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 8 or elderly chal lenges out of no fault of their own. Challenges that as they are addressed appropriately will also make everything better for every community and neighborhood as a whole and especially for the fearless law enforcement and emergency responders in those comm unities. When it comes to all this some of the many solutions include: 1) G uaranteeing the safe air supply for millions of people in Utah and The West by absolutely building that pipeline from the Pacific Ocean to the Great Salt Lake and to fill other in land basins regardless of how much snow The West gets in some winters . Cloudseeding in other parts of the earth is a real thing and continues to affect weather patterns in Utah and the West in previously unimaginable ways ; 2) A way better plan than a gond ola for little Cottonwood Canyon and surrounding resorts that includes Utah taking the mountain resort industry back in bigger and better ways instead of giving it away to outside interests looking to overfill bank accounts by crippling canyon roads and li fts with impossible, overcapacity numbers of people . We're going to build our own people movers first. Think front drive/rear drive fire engines but that technology applied to giant, comfortable, double decker busses with restrooms. There's no restrooms on a gondola especially during a 30 minute packed ride that turns into a 60 minute ride because of a wind delay. (There might eventually be a place for a gondola from Parleys to AF Canyon or other places but Little Cottonwood really doesn't seem to be one of them for many reasons when "people movers" are an option instead.) 3) M y 6 year personal quest to keep all of us inspired in different ways by naming the new Salt Lake Internation al Airport after Robert Redford; 4) E nabling kids, educators and willing c ommunities in new ways with more sensible use of expensive school buildings up to 12 hours a day/7 days a week; 5) Utah having it's own "Surgeon General" (just like California does) to see to it that abuse awarness and other materials for conquering abuse are available in age appropriate ways at elementaries, junior highs , high s chools, colleges, work places and beyond ; 6) B eautifying billboard messages or eliminating billboards altogether in a creative way so that our communities don't have to be burdene d with the primitve messages billboards thrive on ; SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 9 7) E liminating homelessness in Utah , in The West and in the rest of the U.S. by initiating a triple purpose multi - state facility that will serve as a model for other, equally capable states (don't worry t here's plenty of cash already there to pay for it many times over but it will also pay for itself many times ov er in it's new, triple function .) And more. I f you really do want to "drain the swamp" ( and I think you do, ) and to save Utah, California and o ther Western states in the process, I'm looking forward to being the big, tall, bald, geeky guy that does it. Remember America is still being founded everyday and without "divide and conquer" keeping everyone loving or hating Washington D.C. the "medicin e" is already in our hands Because of that, for the broken , misinterpreted, sensationalized systems of Utah and t he U.S.A. instead of "Republican," "Democrat," "Green," "Libertarian" or other traditional, convoluted, out - of - date names the symbol for this political movement should be " We Rx" because "WE" = "WE THE PEOPLE" and "Rx" = "MEDICINE" and "WE THE PEOPLE" are the "MEDICINE" for the U.S.A.'s challenges. Because I'm a geek about all this as you can probably tell by now , I also believe that Utah's cur rent Governor Spencer Cox will give me his endorsement for me being governor . Contributing to this belief is because in recent years it has become apparent that he has other talents, abilities and concerns that if he is given the freedom to cultivate and p ursue, he will do inspiring things with and that will be rewarding for Utah's people and diverse cultures of all ages in many ways (even though he too is quietly a member of the deceptive "Utah State Bar" and has been shortsightedly forced to do things in his roles as Lieutenant Governor for 8 years and now as Governor for 2 years that I'm sure he regrets.) The medicinal rocket ship to conquering these challenges at all elevations in Utah gravitates around what Utah has been, what Utah is and what Utah ca n be for it's 3 .2 million full - time residents, for it's tens of thousands of part - time residents, for more than 10 million visitors every year , for the rest of the U.S.A . and for the rest of the globe. It's not surprising to me that you are willing to be a part of this ongoing conversation. As far as this PDF goes, t here will always be typos and I'm sorry for that. It's un - fathom - uhble how much time it takes just to reconcile and confirm facts, add a few sentences somewhere, adjust pages, SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 10 adjust page numb ers, blah blah blah...then redo it all a few days later because something new was discovered only to redo it all again a few days later I can't imagine how they managed to publish even one book let alone hundreds of thousands of books on two different conti nents before 183 0. In those times with all those additional challenges, people like James Fenimore Cooper, the author of "The Last of the Mohicans" and the author of 50 other published and unpublished books , Benjamin Franklin (with his many pseudonyms al l having a different eyebrow raising purpose) and others must have been superhuman. For "quotable quotes" used in this version of "Secret Not Secret" , I didn't reveal the names of who they are credited to for several reasons. This is because some of them are by me and if you're really interested in who is "credited" with a quote a search for it will bring other rewarding opportunities for curiosity, discovery and surprise. (Like in the case of Shakespeare how one credited quote might imply something very different than what is lesser known to be believed about him and some of the actual sources of a few of his most popular stories.) I'm also more of concept and research geek rather than a "w - r - i - t - e - r" but I also believe in exploring new challenges . B eca use of that (attempting) to put this five - part body of work together under circumstances very far from ideal as well as other overwhelming challenges that I never could have imagined , has been a lot of emotional and intellectual heavy lifting for me for an overwhelmingly , unpredictable amount of time ( and I'm proud to say that ) Because of that, the experience to get to this part of the journey has transformed me in ways that I never could have imagined and that I am very grateful for If you really want to learn about something, sit down and start writing a few paragraphs about it and see where that takes you over the next few days, weeks, months... If you're lucky, this body of work will challenge you in new ways too and hopefully the additional resources available will result in endless self - congratulations for yourself and some air - fist - bumps between us (aka " UtahDaps "). Unless you want to invite me to a rally or protest then it can be a real fist bump before my inauguration to be Utah's next GuvvyWuvvy star ting on Monday, January 6, 2025 then there will be lots of fist bumps to go around. (For a short lesson on what a "Dap" is see the link at UtahDap.com.) SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 11 My apologies if in the longer version of "The Book Of The Bone Fire Girl" I seem a little rough a round the edges at times because I'm sure the combination of all this on me shows at times even though I 've tried to keep it "PG" rated which is hard . Although I'm a 6'3", 240 pound " geek ," I've also worked some of the roughest jobs the West can offer at t imes and antagonizing each other with "colorful language" and other antics at times is a way to stay positive so those influences are on me whether I recognize them or not ( I also have a cowboy uncle who is a verbal - ten - ton - automatic - shotgun of a "colorf ul language" wordsmith and who I know could keep even Mark Twain wordstruck at the drop of a hat and there are plenty of lessons I learned as a kiddo from being around him and my pops at times, some lessons better than others.) Even though this body of wo rk is still a "work - in - progress " (a nd always will be) it was important to me to start releasing it here regardless of imperfections because of who will benefit from it ( a.k.a. kiddos of all ages. ) Hopefully you knowing this helps shine a brighter light on why parts might seem less - than - polished. Although there is still some more equipment to choose regarding parts of this, the game plan is in place and it is thrilling to have you as part of the team. So much good stuff to do with you my "profess - or" (with a nd without colorful language at times I'm sure.) There are also dozens of resources created by others that this body of work couldn't hav e been created without and the creators of which I look forward to acknowledging more specifically in future editions as a result of communicating with them (or their descendants) as this work continues. As you explore "Secret Not Secret , " remember... "If an angry person picks up a sword their life will soon end and they will be forgotten. If an angry person picks up a candle, a ruler and a pencil, their life will soon begin and they will be remembered." "When a person knows their enem ies better than their enemies know themselves, they no longer have enemies, they have opportunities ." "The truth is like a lion, you don't h ave to defend it. Let it loose and it will defend itself." SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 12 T ABLE OF CONTENTS ****** Invitations regarding the bright truths shared in this body of work. P ages: 12 - 20 ****** PART ONE: " The Book Of The Bone Fire Girl " Page: 21 - 112 * Regarding tho se five different summaries of " The Book of The Bone Fire Girl." They are from 2 - 9 pages each and can be found starting on page 245 ****** PART TWO: "The Destruction, the Devastation and the Course Correction" (The "DD&CC") (Early 1900's through today) Pa ge: 90 "23 Invisible Poisonous Pill s" Page: 110 ****** PART THREE: "A Grain of Salt To Trade For Anything" (rather than a "pearl" of "great price.") (Including the list of 55 abuses) Page: 150 ****** PART FOUR: "The Marvelous Works and The Wonder" (I ncluding how to create "The Heard Immunity" to suicide, to other Emotional Health Challenges and to other tragedies.) Page: 209 ****** PART FIVE: "More Words Of Wisdom" Page: 220 SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 13 A NOTE REGARDING ETIQUETTE FOR FOLLOWERS OF "THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER - DAY SAINTS (FORMERLY REFERRED TO AS "MORMONS") AND THE AUTHOR'S USE OF THE WORD "MORMONISM" AS OPPOSED TO "MORMON" Out of respect to that preference and to minimize any chances for confusion about "Secret Not Secret," it needs to be reiterated that the use of the word "Mormonism" is in reference to the entire organization as well as the entire organization's past, present and future functions not just the " cultural LDS " functions . Hopefully (and for many reasons), the use of the term Mormonism for this purpose is fair an d understandable. Because this guide is available globally and because of what it reveals about certain parts of Mormonism and how that may affect victims from all walks of life, especially those vulnerable young men and women serving as missionaries , it's important to remember, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." This is important when it comes to protecting them from radicalized opportunists and raises the question if "reassignments" should be considered for man y. ****** THIS GUIDE AND THE HIDDEN LINKS TO VERIFY ALL THIS Because you may have discovered parts of this in paper that someone printed off and shared in one way or another , the entirety of "Secret Not Secret" can be found online and a handful of domains you may already be familiar with or at www. PDF Host.io by searching " Secret Not Secret " for the most recent version. ( Between October 2022 and August 2023, five previous versions have had more than 12 ,000 downloads with no commercial promotion invol ved ) SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 14 AN INVITATION TO ALL OFFICIAL AND UNOFFICIAL L.D.S. HISTORIANS AND U.S. HISTORIANS ESPECIALLY AT OXFORD, EDINBURGH, COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY NEW YORK, HARVARD, BRIGHAM YOUNG UNIVERSITY AND SUNSET VIEW ELEMENTARY These pages represent a body of work including future publications, documentaries, films, webs ites, podcasts, support groups and more presented in part with an intricate, elaborate, original context catalyzed by the author's office. This context has been catalyzed from hidden history , fo rgotten history, claimed history and discr epancies discovered, intuited or otherwise brought to light through the author's office. L.D.S. h istorians, U.S. historians , influencers and others of any persuasion and including any of the dozens of sanctioned and unsanctioned organizations including "FARMS", "FAIR" and others who may politely disagree with any part deemed critical to the overall context the author's office has catalyzed for "SECRET NOT SECRET" INCLUDING "THE BOOK OF THE BONE FIRE GIRL" or any o ther part of this guide are extended a continued invitation for polite and public discussion regarding this body of work. EMERGENCY RESOURCES If you are one of the millions of victims of these certain parts of Mormonism or are one of the hundreds o f thousands of descendants of any of the people represented in The Book of The Bone Fire Girl, please do not take any of this personally as you may have been conditioned to do. Remember, this is not about blame mongering. This is about conversation startin g and discovering blossoms of healing and learning Until more specific support groups are created en mass in to aid in this rewarding process for everybody, outside resources for help for now include dialing the 988 Crisis Lifeline or going to www.988li feline.org. SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 15 Another resource is www.StopItNow.org. Click on "Help and Guidance" near the top, then click on "Library of Resources" and under the "Quick Links" click on "Crisis Hotlines." Remember to pursue at least 2 or 3 resources so you can be enabled with more than one to discover what will work for you. Consider looking for other resources online using similar key words including the local area as well as working with established community resources to organize support groups in public buildings whe re available. CONQUERING THE REVERBERATING STRINGS OF ABUSE, THE DEPERSONALIZING ECHO CHAMBERS THAT FOLLOW AND THE MALADAPTIVE FALSE COMFORTERS THEY GIVE RISE TO (a.k.a. "Staging for the adventure," "A well stocked base camp ," "Being prepared is an o pportunity to feel smart." ) When it comes the new, proven spectrum o f abuse known as "Spindling" or "Gotheling" it could also be referred to as "55 Signs You're In An Abusive Relationship With An Imposter, a Hijacker or An Imitator " In addition to e verything else an abuser can be, intentionally or unintentionally, an abuser can also be your self towards your self , intentionally or unintentionally. This is because r egardless of where the reverberating strings of those 55 abuses come from, o ut of no f ault of your own , parts of your brain can sometimes be deceived into responding in many deceptive ways including creating depersonalizing echo chambers and then maladaptive false comforters to attempt to appease those depersonalizing echo chambers Don't l et this happen because these non - sustainable false comforters can sometimes be self - destructive, self - deceiving nightmares that lead to many other overwhelming challenges out of no fault of your own The abuses, the depersonalizing echo chambers and the ma ladaptive false comforters are imposters, hijackers and imitators. S ome false comforters are exponenti ally more deceptive than others. This includes any of the " emotional health challenges " oversimplified with shortsighted words like "disorders" or other acronyms including : SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 16 "obsessive compulsive behavior," " anxiety ," " hoarding ," "bi - polar," "borderline personality , " "anorexia," "bulimia," "homesickness," "ADD," "ADHD," and on and on. They all start with those imposters, hijackers and imitators. T hese also includes resentment, jealousy, misplaced anger, fear, doubt, self - serving sorrow ( as opposed to sorrow promoting learning, growing or action ), comparing to others , being offended, t aking anythin g personally, confirmation bias, projecting, "turning the oth er cheek , " (some that are disguised forms of self - destructive self - righteousness because there is a more rewarding way ), what is sometimes labeled by parts of emotional healthcare as the responses of " freezing, fleeing or fighting " and even abusing others as an invisible but now diminishable, internal, maladaptive addiction They are all imposters, hijackers and imitators. "That which you allow to anger you, you also give the power to be your master." C onversations regarding what other maladaptive false comforters are will fill volumes C onversations about what aren't false comforters will also fill many volumes. ( An example of something that isn't a false comforter is invited fear that may be from an adventure, an accepted challenge, etc... ) With this s pectrum and the awareness, intervention and empowerment that comes with it, instead of being deceived by those imposters, hijackers and imitators there is something else. There is a more rewarding way. It is something you already know how to do but differe nt challenges contributed to you being temporarily overwhelmed and not doing it. There isn't one word to describe it and to aid in conversation I'll share some notes about it. I'm sure you'll have plenty of notes of your own too. This is partly because i nstead of that " defining " with those oversimplified, shortsighted words, it is a type of " refining ." One way to describe it is in stead of "freezing, fleeing or fighting" it is "flipping the script." It is more than that though, i t is striking a match to that false script. SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 17 It is turning the page on the notes of that frigid, false script and letting the warmth of the notes of your own music echo and comfort instead. I t is stopping th at flood and vaporizing it. It is taking the shade off the light. It is seeding and re - seeding. It is personalizing. It is repersonalizing. It is radiant. It is radia ting . It is radiantly radiating. It is not just that "fire" that burns the old and warms anew as it does , it is that "white fire" that creates It is igniting. It is breathing. It is maneuvering. It is learning. It is teaching . It is applauding. It is cheering. It is that first water. It is that first medicine , that first "Rx " It is conquering "mongerings" with laughing, dancing and frolicking. I t is enabling all these beautiful special wonders and more beautiful, special wonders in beautiful , special, reciprocating ways Wonderful , special wonders that have been impostered, hijacked and imitated for far too lon g. For trauma geeks, i t also i ncludes the brilliantly dynamic spectrum of physiological topics that include oxytocin, dopamine and endorp hins, adrenaline and cortisol relating in independent or reciprocating ways as part of a spectrum that includes aphrodisiac and non - aphrodisiac topic s This includes how in different ways d ifferent physiologies may pr oduce and process all of these internal " components " at different levels at different times in i n dependent or reciprocating ways producing different reactions and experiences and it's no o nes fault because they are now identifiable. Rather than being des cribed as a path or a line, the reverbe rating strings that make up the spectrum and cycles of abuse seem to be better visualized as a spinning spindle shaped like an inverted cone (a funn el.) This peculiar s pindle also helps visualize a more challenging part of the spectrum that without awareness and intervention abusers become overwhelmed and entangled in as they begin combining abuses and targeting and abusing victims i n worse ways. I ca ll these depths of the cone " The - Funnel - Of - No - Return ." SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 18 This includes : the abuser becoming warpedly, derangedly addicted to self - destructive, maladaptive, physiological reactions with in themselves and doing other self - destructive things to appease those i nternal addictions (a false comforter ); developing non - sustainable addiction s to outside chemical substances (drugs, alcohol, etc... another false comforter); the abuser end ing up in prison from their abuses towards others growing worse and worse and them fin ally getting caught no matter how unconscionable their lies or actions become; or them ending up dead as a consequences of all or part of all this To overcome this " Death Spiral " and vaporize the cone and let those other special wonders take it's place, abusers just need to pursue awareness and int ervention before it's too late, and there's a powerful reason for this : that reason that they started as victims too. To attempt to lessen the burd en of referencing this cone that is the spectrum of abuses with it's 55 reverberating strings and barbs of abuse and worse, I also refer to it as the " S pindling Cone of I nvisible Strings, Addictions, Abuses and Horrors " ( aka " SCISAAHS " ). Yes, another metaphor as if two weren't enough already. This is because kno wing about this spectrum rea lly is like a pair of "scissors. " It not only cuts those reverberating strings of abuse and allows victims to enjoy the wonders of being powerful survivors it allows them to enjoy the wonders of conquering abuse by being powerfu l rescuers too and when the time is right informing their abusers of all this so the abusers can see that there is a clear, bright path to learning, growing and healing no matter how jagged and dark their path has become and that they can also be an advoca te for learning, growing and healing too. (Isn't this more rewarding than simply "turning the other cheek" and allowing the abuser to get worse and worse by not teaching them and conquering the abuse?) With this guide , i nstead of "hurt people hurting oth er people and hurting themselves even worse and doing worse and worse things to try to hide it " there will be more "people who feel special treating other people special." This conversation also includes how there are indicat ions that some of these abuse s as shortsighted manipulation tactics were derived from experiments on innocent, unsuspecting, people deceived by parts of the public institutions they trusted (and paid fortunes to under the banners of SECRET NOT SECRET .COM 8.22.23 19 "education.") These broken parts of these instituti ons then developed and quietly shared the dark tactics from their research in unconscionable ways An example of this is dark "studies" on students at imposter parts of Harvard University (b y way of Columbia University New York) in the 1950's that were th en further perpetuated through Brigham Young University (BYU) and other public and private i nstitutions and organizations ( including Stanford ) Basically the "experiments" resulted in "H ow to be a n undiagnosed 'Gothelpath' as a n individual, a culture, an institution or an organization without realizing that you will inevitably be conquered in very public ways for being a Gothelpath ." Before this guide immeasurable deception, altered lives, lost opportunity and tr agedy for an immeasurable number of victi ms was the shameful , ongoing, generational result of these "studies" affecting millions upon millions of people. This guide is the brighter light to conquer that darkness. With an invitation from me to these institutions and other institutions who have no t allowed parts of their organizations to engage in these criminal abuses , I look forward to us working with the broken parts of these broken institutions to help them fix th