Ex«nˇd Dei‘m Down Unˇr 29 NOV 2020 Reason Garth: Ummmmmmmmmmm to make gains. The largest percent- Like Wayne Said! agege increase in moose will likely Compassion Hope As you can see Wayne and Garth come from China’’, says McRobson, are massive fans and have even pur- The Chinese government has invested By BRAD TL chased our merchandise! We look for- heavily in moose infrastructure over ward to seeing or hearing from you the past decade, and their committ- and we can be found on facebook ment to macrofauna is beginning to I have been attending Expanded (just look for Expanded Deism). pay dividends’’. Since 2004 China has Deism weekly readings and chats We also have a website located at: expanded moose pasture from 1.5% (Saturday 7pm Central/Texas Time) https://btl201.wixsite.com/expandeddeism of arable land to nearly 3.648% and for the last 2 months. Each week we You can download a free copy of moose numbers are expected to rise have discussed many topics and got "The Book of Expanded Deism" and to 60,000 making China a net moose to know a variety of people. Wayne find more information about our To- exporter for the first time. This is and Garth from the famous movie tally Awesome Group! good news for neighbouring Mongo- "Wayne’s World" are dedicated fans. Brad TL lia, a barren moose-wasteland whose I was lucky enough to chat to inhabitents nonetheless have an insa- them about their latest interest in Ex- tiable desire for the creatures. The in- panded Deism. crease in Beijing-Ulanbataar trade is What attracted you to Expanded anticipated to relieve pressure on the Deism? relatively strained Russian suppliers, Wayne: Yo Brad! Can you tell but increase Mongolia’s imbalance of Jayson that he rocks for writing this trade with its larger neighbour. book? It blew my mind! Historically the only competitor Garth: Well ahh I like it alot. Be- to China in the far eastern moose Reuters markets has been Singapore but the ing able to look on facebook and The Expanded Deism website has been to- tiny island nation is set to report a tally rad but I haven’t had the confi- International net loss, expecting a decrease of more dence to join the zoom chat each week than five percent on last year’s 50,000 as I am just a bit shy. Moose Count moose counted. The head of Singa- Who is this group aimed towards? pore’s Agency for Agriculture, Jing- Wayne: Man it is for anyone and Underway Feng Lau, explained to an incredu- everyone who just wants to have a dis- lous Singaporean parliament yester- By BOB O’BOBSTON cussion in an open and positive envi- day that bad weather had contributed ronment. We have all walked down to this season’s poor showing, most many paths and this is one where you notably when a cargo of 150 moose have a voice and a say. Although The UN-sponsored International were swept out into the Indian ocean there is an Expanded Deism summary Moose Census got off to a flying in a monsoon. if you want to be labelled as a Real start today with hopes for an increase Yet again the global demand for Expanded Deist, there is absolutely in the worldwide moose population moose will be met largely by the no obligation to become one and in compared to last year’s disapointing US and Canada. The recession-hit fact you are more than welcome to figures. Among the traditional early States is taking comfort in its moose join and disagree as we can all learn reporters were Egypt, returning fig- growth figures with gross production from each other! ures of six moose, a twenty percent expected to break 700,000 and net ex- Garth: Woah Wayne! That was increase on 2011’s figures of five, and ports to grow by 2%. The worldwide totally excellent and awesome bro! Uruguay whose moose population re- dominance of Canada shows no signs Unfortunately time is up but mains stable at eleven. of abating though with this year’s thanks for stopping by Wayne and According to Robbie McRobson, moose population expected to match Garth! Any last minute advice for ev- head of the UN Moose Preserva- last year’s record figures of one hun- eryone else out there? tion Council, worldwide moose num- dred million billion. Wayne: You are most welcome bers are expected to grow markedly Europe’s rise as an international my new mate! If Reason, Compas- on last year due to the traditional moose power will slow slightly this sion and Hope mean something to you moose strongholds of Canada and the year as a response to the European then come along and give it a go. United States, with the larger de- Union’s move towards standardising Over to you Garth! veloping moose ecologies also poised the European moose. Stringent qual- Expanded Deism Down Under 29 NOV 2020 2 ity controls are holding back the de- pionship last night as 78-year-old fight properly. velopment of the eastern european Maud Johnson, grandmother of five, Nigerian Tommy Thompson is populations compared to last year became the first woman for fifty-six also a relative newcomer to the when they contributed significantly years, and the oldest competitor ever, wrestling scene, but with his 210lb to europe’s strong growth figures. to claim the gold medal. She walked frame he was expected to fare well Norway, which is not an EU member away with her million dollar share of against Johnson who weighs in at but has observer status, strengthed the prize money, runner up Tommy only 90lb. However Johnson’s lithe in numbers relative to the Euro area Thompson from Nigeria taking half a and slender, some would say scrawny, with numbers of Norweigian moose, million, and third place New Zealan- figure belies her agility and strength known locally as elk’’ expected to rise der John Smith receiving a warm which she demonstrated by holding for the tenth consecutive year, partic- handshake from the umpire. Thompson above her head several ularly thanks to a strong showing in Having started the tournament a times during the bout and throwing the last quarter. rank outsider she began to impress him into the crowd once. With the As moose season reaches its close, in her second match when she took scores tied at 2-2 time ran out and the researchers world wide are turning to US number three Ron Ronson by sur- contest went to a panel of judges to be science in an attempt to boost next prise and subdued him in twenty sec- assessed. They awarded Thompson a year’s figures. NASA stunned the onds with her unique move that has C grade whilst Johnson received an scientific community today with the been dubbed "Maud’s Death Grip". A, becoming the first grandmother to announcment of their discovery that The injection of a new wrestling style ever win the title. the moon is significantly smaller than into the tournament was welcomed The new champion explained her previously believed. This conclusion, by spectators and Johnson’s pre- and success as the result of a strict train- which is the conclusion of a ten- post-match breakdances have proved ing regimen instituted by her coach year collaborative project, will have entertaining to fans. However, she and grandson five-year-old Sammy profound implications for the moose was still not expected to win in Johnson. "I’ve been drinking ten community as the gravitational field round three last Wednesday, facing raw eggs for breakfast every morning, is now known to be of the right off against title-holder Paulo "Spine- sprinting fifty miles a day and carry- strength to support moose in orbit. Snapper" Lutti, of Vatican City. Un- ing my daughter’s car to the end of According to John Johnson, head derdog Johnson was soon showing her the road and back whenever I felt my of the NASA Moon Sizing Experi- worth with stamina and agility easily arthritis was OK" she said. Sammy ment the first delivery of moose into matching last year’s winner. Lutti’s added "I always knew she could do low moon orbit could be achieved as experience paid off initially as he took it. She’s my grandma.". The young- early as the third quarter of next year. the first two rounds, but as John- ster is also her manager and has re- The technology to nurture moose in son became more confident her su- portedly arranged sponsorship deals space is available now’’, he said, ’’all perior strength came to the fore and which will dwarf her one million dol- that is needed is political will’’. she clawed back two rounds to take lar prize fund. Her new contract with the contest into a decider. By this headband designer Nike alone is set Granny wins time Lutti’s body language indicated to earn her fourteen billion dollars that he already felt overawed by the over the next year. She will also be World Wrestling pretender to his crown, and the new- promoting Tupperware, Halliburton, comer took advantage of this to en- the Republic of Macedonia, and Gala Championship gage a mutual headlock which she Bingo. Her continued participation in held for three hours until the Vat- the sport is not assured as she wants By ROY MCROYSTON ican man retired from exhaustion. to spend more time on her bungee- The next seven matches were barely jumping business, and knitting. Ev- a contest as the news of Johnson’s eryone here at the World Champi- Records were smashed in supremacy overawed all her oppo- onships, however, hopes for her re- Nicaragua’s World Wrestling Cham- nents who became too indimidated to turn.