MODULE 3: REFORMING Lesson 8: Boundaries How to Use This GLOW SHEET: 1.) Watch the corresponding video, then grab a journal or open a fresh online document to do your Glow work. These PDFs are not editable by design. They’re here to guide your understanding and transformation. Our vote? Write it out because studies have shown that writing out thoughts, ideas and brainstorms long hand can be significantly more helpful to the educational experience than typing. 2.) Print it out or save it somewhere handy. Refer back anytime you need help remembering these powerful ideas. 3.) Take out your journal and answer the following questions fearlessly and thoroughly. Keep this in mind as you do, Healthy Personal Boundaries = Taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT taking responsibility for the actions or emotions of others. If you have any trouble with your GLOW SHEETS, please write support@youarecomplete.com ASAP so we can help you out. Lesson 8: Boundaries © You Are Complete LLC 1 GLOW SHEET The Benefits of Boundaries Not only do personal boundaries boost your self-esteem and protect your sense of identity, they also make life A LOT easier. Imagine an existence where: You don’t let people take advantage of you. You never have to fix other people’s problems, unless you truly want to. You don’t get sucked into pointless arguments and heated debates. Not every little thing your family, partner, friends, colleagues do bothers or worries you. You serenely look on while others get caught up in the drama. In fact, you barely remember what it feels like to be embroiled in drama at all. That’s what strong healthy boundaries give you! HOW TO COMMUNICATE YOUR BOUNDARIES This one sentence can help you set boundaries effectively because it clearly communicates the behavior you'd like the person to change therefore not blaming them or attacking their character (which is never helpful) and offers an immediate solution. Lesson 8: Boundaries © You Are Complete LLC 2 GLOW SHEET It has 3 simple parts: I feel (fill in the bank with feeling words such as frustrated, hurt, unheard, etc) when you (fill the blank with specific behaviors the other person demonstrates such as leave dirty dishes out overnight, call me silly, talk over me, etc) I'd prefer it if you (fill in the blank with the behavior you would like to experience from this person instead such as clean your dishes before you go to bed, don't call me silly, listen when I'm speaking and wait until I'm finished to reply etc.) Now you try it. Identify a few people you need to set boundaries with and fill in the following sentence for each person. Name: I feel when you I'd prefer it if you After you've set a boundary it's important to maintain it which means you may have to say this sentence a few times. If someone continues to dishonor your boundaries that's an indication to reevaulate the relationship. Lesson 8: Boundaries © You Are Complete LLC 3
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