The Letters T he l ove of a girl The story of the love of a girl A girl b ecoming. A girl learning who she is. A girl learning what love truly means. The story of a girl. A girl loving a man. A girl loving a man but instead finding love The love of God. 2 3 WILD FLOWER Like a wild flower she grew Like nothing anyone had ever seen The likes of her only dreamt of in the minds of M en Men who had sought long hard and deep She was like a fairy tale A story from An old book Like a wild flower she grew Out in the forest deep and dark Amidst of all of nights' glory Out in the dark ness she grew The moonlight her guide, her teacher and mirror S he learnt to glow To be herself the light in the midst of the darkness Like a wild flower she grew Her growing knew no bounds nothing could keep her down all she could do was grow Like a wild flower she grew Learning to yearn for the light The light of the Sun The light of the Moon The light of God She grew to yearn for the feel of the Earth and of the Wind and of the Rain To fill herself up with these things were her most earnest desires Like a wild flower she grew Knowing t he darkness to be her ally 4 Learning to walk in it Learning the voice of it Learning to be guided by it Understanding its sounds Releasing every fear she held of it Like a wild flower she relished in it , in the darkness She curled up and folded up and dwel t in it Like a wild flower she yearned for it For the night time and its quiet and its solitude For its peace She yearned for its healing As though it were the soul of her beloved, clinging to her and keeping her warm and safe Like a wild flower, she gre w Deeper into the earth she grew Grounding herself into the rocks Her foundations shattering barriers and goin g deeper still Soaking up the richness of the earth, feeling deeply its fertility and making it her own In the nakedness of her being she worships and adores all life She pays homage to the works of the hands of the Creator She knows that she is blessed to be surrounded by them all Like a wild flower, she bloomed She bloomed and blossomed , wild n' all She bloomed with every blemish on her fine sk in and with every flaw in her character She bloomed in cycles and all year around Like a wild flower, she allowed herself to be To just be She watched herself and let things be Because she understood that all things and all seasons told a different story And she needed h er story to unfold for her to BE - come For her to be - come all that she aspired and knew that she was capable of being For her to grow into all of her beautiful wildness 5 She embraced it all She embraced every feeling Every desire Every dis comfort and she sat with them speaking to them and learning about them Understanding their origins and their roots understanding their purpose and making them her own She was not sorry No She was unapologetic She knew that her path was hers and hers alon e She did not turn sideways from it Every waking moment, she would acknowledge it, and then she would turn around and embrace it Like a wild flower, she could tell she was different She didn't think like the others She didn't grow like the others She was different She watched closely and paid attention when no one else seemed to be listening She watched colonies form around the others and she stayed alone Single and isolated. Alone. Like a wild flower, she enjoyed it She enjoyed being different She enjo yed standing tall even if she had to do it alone She would have it no other way She felt no void of emptiness in her solitude She felt full Full of gratitude for all that she was becoming She grew much larger and much deeper than the others She could see higher and further than they could and it made her love herself even more 6 So she reached and stretched She reached higher and further She reached for more More of everything that she understood had brought her to these heights All she wanted was more. More of herself. More of everything that felt like her. ...and thats when she met him... Right at the top of where her pain had finally turned into love Love for herself Love for her own Being. Thats when he came. When all she could do was love herself. 7 SALUTATION Oh morning glory, wash me with your beautiful melody Sing to me the songs of the birds and of the trees Sing to me the songs of the earth that only the stillness of my heart can bring to me Pray with me to God For there is nothing better to do Every morning she is birthed a new Her alter her fortress Maybe she ’ s two people Or maybe she is three. Who knows? Or perhaps she is Legion. Oh my dear, she is many. There is no end to what she might become. 8 SURRENDER Come aut umn, come spring What will be will be For each season comes And each season goes And each brings great change Of this we know Angel wings, over me Guide my path, as I seek. 9 JOURNEY TO UNION Some days I desire you at a depth that bellows my insi des Some days I feel you very strongly Powerful Passionate True Some days you occupy every cavity of my being Every vein I pulse and I quake and I quiver I writhe and I convulse Some days you grip me with an intensity that I have never felt and I never wa nt to let go of I want to always be with you I always want to be in you This merging will be the life of me. But first, it will be my death. 10 MY HALF He is a reflection of me My traits My mannerisms My courtesies My beliefs My humour My morals My strugg les My darkness My light My achievement My faith My battles My victory My creativity He is a reflection of me, down to his indentations and punctuations His silence His observance s 11 His love His compassion His respect and his regard I see in him my humilit y, my simplicity He is my mirror He makes me see my great beauty My great and astounding beauty 12 ~ It is interesting to watch what I’ve become. More and more I crave absolute solitude. Complete silence and the stillness of darkness. Its interesting to know that I am finding my way in the darkness. To know that the darkness has birthed my light. ~ ~ Today, I gazed upon my skin Like milk, and soft Sweet. Like honey; brown Slender and petite and fragile, yet strong Dark hair, fo rest rich. I am a great sight to behold. ~ ~ I gaze upon the Sun Every morning, he sits at my window Blessing me with his beautiful rays 13 He comes to me excitedly without fail And sometimes I forget that he is there But even though I forget him many a t imes He never forgets me ~ 14 DESIRE I want to be touched. Physically I want to be touched by the hands of the one who SEES me The one that sees into my soul and knows it as his own I want to feel his gaze upon me. Intent. Unwavering I want to see into hi s eyes and see what he sees, feel what he feels I want to feel his love and his passion and his pain I want to feel his touch. Physically Tell me every story , show me every wound Speak of every darkness and every desire Open to me, that I may drink of my beloved ~ I thank you for your love oh Lord that overshadows all judgement ~ 15 LAMENTATIOTNS! There are certain codes we live by, each of us, and then ‘all of us’ collectively. They are many, and we repeat them every day . Mindlessly. We’ve learned t hem and have ourselves become accustomed to them such that, even in our sleep, there is no delay in our response through them. The se codes prevail. Many of these codes are degenerative. They cause perpetual stagnation and deepen the degradation of our sp irit, of our essence and of our aura. Slowly but surely, We go from the purity and endless imagination and gait of a child To a growingly numb adult With fear and belief in the inadequate, with hate and comparison and judgment and a complete acceptance in lack Lack that present s itself in every form Reflective in our own self - esteem, or lack of it R eflective in our desire to be like others, but never ourselves Reflective in our fear of everyone else that is different from us ; from what we look like , from our worship, from our lifestyle, from our thinking, from our living, from our breathing. 16 Reflective of our hate for each other, for the animals and for the earth. It has become the Way It is not what always was But things changed so long ago and have prog ressively deteriorated since then But soon, there will be no more of these No more deterioration and no more pain For all will be destroyed And all will be birthed anew It is here It is now It has begun 17 ~ Only in moments of stillness do I find p eace ~ SELF SABOTAGE I fear that I may not like the thoughts I find in my mind when I am alone with them I worry that my spirit may become unsettled by them And so, I avoid myself I fill up the time with none - sense Mindless scrolling Endless chatter I w orry that I may not be enough to cross over the finish line Because I have set marks and standards and goals for myself Who’s to say that I can’t live above them? Who’s to say that I can’t win? Only fear! All this pressure upon my head I put them there di dn’t I? I put them there by my very own hands THEY put them there too! 18 And I let them “Its what I need to be come who I’m meant to be” “Its what I need for my joy to be complete” “Its what I need to feel fulfilled” These are the things we tell ourselves and these are the places where we give our power away Leaning on the arrival of things yet to come in order for our joy and fulfillment to be complete, is the very way to give our joy and our peace away. Not recognizing that the joy is here, now , Ready to be had 19 I AM I am full I am rich I am sexy I am beautiful I am radiant I am kind I am sweet I am funny I am generous I am strong I am determined I am resilient I am an achiever I am a dreamer I am a healer I am a support I am sweetness I am wise 20 I am f orgiven I am forgiving I am divinely connected I am divinely led I am upheld I am protected I am emboldened I am light I am a survivor I am a conqueror I am a victor I am a queen I am a mother I am a nurturer I am a friend I am a confidante I am good coun sel I am life I am union I am loved