Creating a Vampire Besides the obvious goal of comedy, just some basics to help you flesh out your character outside of the dumbass bits: H ow did your character became a vampire? Was this something your character sought willingly? Or were you an unfortunate victim who is now dealing with the aftermath of a vampire attack? How do you feel about no longer being among the living? Do you try to restrict your victims to only evil people? Or do you feed without restriction? Or does the thought sicken you and cause you to avoid feeding for as long as possible? Are you gay? No? You sure? Okay, well does the thought of feeding off someone hot who’s your own gender turn you on? Oh, it does? Yeah, you might be gay dude. Consider it. What motivations do you have in this pointless post capitalist world? You here to vibe? Party and drink blood? Pursue an arc? What, why? This world is really dumb. Why did you want to do a character arc? Okay, well if that last one spoke to you. Consider what you might be wanting to do. Class Features: As a vampire, you gain a bunch of thematic class features (And each of you are getting some extra special items/abilities!). All of you start with standard array ability scores. Don’t stress it, there’s like, 0 chance you are gonna have to worry over your build. Hit Points: Blood Fuckery Dice : special (see the Blood Fuckery class feature) Hit Points at 1st Level : 1d8 + your Constitution modifier per vampire level Proficiencies: Armor : None Weapons : Simple weapons. Unarmed strikes Saving Throws : Dexterity, Charisma Skills : Choose two skills from Acrobatics, Arcana, Athletics, Deception, History, Intimidate, Investigation, Perception, Persuasion, Religion, and Stealth Equipment You start with the following equipment: 1. A set of clothes at 16armor AC so you can just roleplay. Your skin is tough or something lol idc. 2. Unique stuff from your character background. 3. Your claws, teeth can be used like main weapons. Also unique weapons, 4. belt pouch containing 200 bucks. That’s right, just US dollars baby. Reserve currency even in alternate dimensions. Loser of the Night: You are an undead creature. You are unaffected by anything that affects only living creatures. You don’t age, require food or water, or suffer the effects of exhaustion. Also, you’re all canonically pretty goth. 1. Let’s get this out of the way. You have darkvision. Whatever, fuck it. Just don’t be annoying about it. rolls eyes. 2. You are resistant to necrotic damage. 3. You are vulnerable to radiant damage. 4. If you end your turn in direct sunlight and lack a protective covering(such as a cloak or other heavy clothing), you take 10 radiant damage. If you drop below 1 hit point from this damage, you are instantly destroyed. While you are in direct sunlight you have disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks. Don’t go in the sun, dummy. 5. You may not enter a residence without a direct invitation from one of the occupants. 6. If a piercing weapon made of wood is driven into the vampire’s heart while the vampire is incapacitated, the vampire is dead until the stake is removed. 7. You roll a d6 for your unarmed strikes in place of the normal damage die. Your unarmed strikes count as magical for the purposes of overcoming resistances and immunity to non-magical attacks and damage. You can use Dexterity instead of Strength for the attack and damage rolls of your unarmed strikes. Your unarmed strikes count as light melee weapons for the purpose of two weapon fighting. You can always double strike with both hands or anything in your hands. 8. You automatically pass all death saving throws. You regain 1 hit point 1d4 minutes after you stabilize. You’re supposed to be immortal, right? Should work out. 9. M any spells specifically don’t work on undead creatures(like most healing spells) or that some abilities that were incredibly useful against undead enemies might end up hurting fellow party members(e.g. Turn Undead). Then again this also does result in immunity to some spells or effects(e.g. Charm Person or Hold Person). Blood Fuckery : 1. You have two 1d4 hit dice that are not regained from a long rest. If you have more than two hit dice at the end of a long rest then you lose enough hit dice to bring you back down to two hit dice. The max hit dice is 4. 2. Any hit dice spent for healing will heal you each for half of your maximum hit points rounded up. You can “use” the hit die at any time. It’s just some kind of “reserve” blood healing thing. 3. Against a living creature that is either willing, charmed, grappled by you, incapacitated, or restrained you may use one of your attacks to perform a bite attack. This attack deals 1d6 damage and you may use either Dexterity or Strength for the attack and damage rolls. Their hit point maximum is reduced by the amount of damage dealt by this bite attack, if you succeed. Each time a creature is the victim of your bite attack, you regain hit points equal to the damage dealt by the bite attack rounded up. Y ou also gain two hit die from this the first time every day you feast, and one die every time after. Tasty. 4. An adjacent living creature can willingly lose one hit dice and take one point of damage to grant you a hit dice. No takesie-backsies! 5. Your Strength, Dexterity, and Charisma are always at or greater than 12, then increase them to 12. 6. As a free action on your turn, you can spend any number of the blood hit dice to regain a spell slot for each die spent. 7. You have to feast atleast once every day, or suffer disadvantage to all rolls until you feast. Blood Fuckery is one of your main class resource systems as a vampire. You’ll have no more than two hit die at the start of the adventuring day but you can go up to four when you drink blood. Not only can these hit die be used similarly to how non-vampire PCs use their hit die, but they can also be used to power different vampire abilities or even regain spell slots. Vampires who don’t mind engaging in constant massive blood orgies everywhere they go, can be running constantly at full power. Vampires who try not to be fat fucks have to either be much more reserved in their ability usage or make a lot of friends who are willing to offer them their blood. Or mind control humans/charm and seduce to get their blood. Spellcasting: The Vampire Spellcast s have a lot of basics, but also some custom dumbass spells I gave each of you. If you end up wanting to play this more, I will come up with new ones when you level. To cast one of these spells, you must expend a slot of the spell’s level or higher. All vampires start with the same number of spell slots (4). You do not regain all expended spell slots when you finish a long rest. You have to use dice to regain them. Always. Drink blood, bro. Spellcasting Ability : Charisma is your spellcasting ability for your vampire spells, since your spells are a manifestation of your will and the blood that runs through your veins. You use your Charisma whenever a spell refers to your spellcasting ability. In addition, you use your Charisma modifier when setting the saving throw DC for a vampire spell you cast and when making an attack roll with one. Spell save DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier. Spell attack modifier = your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier. Extra Attack: You can always attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action. Unarmed strike always has proficiency. Shar ing The Blood-Wealth : A t 6th level you may use your action to willingly lose one Blood Fuckery die to take one point of damage and may transfer some of your health to a willing or unconscious humanoid creature. If that creature has died within the last minute, that creature returns with 1 hit point. Otherwise that creature regains 1 hit point, gains temporary hit points equal to your maximum hit point total, and gains advantage on all saving throws to end conditions currently on them for one turn. That creature permanently gains vampirism. This is supposed to be how you “make” more vampires . T his ability also offers a way to save a dying teammate. Also also, offers a massive way for one PC to grief another PC or NPC. In an ideal world everyone would be mature enough to not screw each other over, but we don’t live in an ideal world now that the Soviet Union collapsed, do we? Also, any NPC made into a vampire must roll a constitution save to resist being “Enthralled” by you. You can order the lil guy around, theyll do their best to do the orders. They’re a level 1 immediately, no matter what they were before. You can only have one thrall. They got “reset” in a way. If this ends up being OP, ill nerf it. Creepy-Ass Shapechanger: You can use your action to transform into a tiny-sized bat or a cloud of mist. Some of you may argue why you can transform into something funnier. You can use this feature once per day . You regain use when you finish a long rest. You can stay transformed for a number of hours equal to half your vampire level(rounded down). You then revert to your normal form. You can revert to your normal form earlier by using a bonus action on your turn. You automatically r evert if you fall unconscious, drop to 0 hit points, or die. While using Creepy-Ass Shapechanger to be a Bat , you can’t speak, your walking speed is 5 feet, and you have a flying speed of 30 feet. Your statistics other than size and speed, are unchanged. Anything you are wearing or carrying transforms with you. You may bite with your normal damage in this mode! While in Creepy-Ass Shapechanger ’s mist form, you can’t take any actions, speak, or manipulate objects. You are weightless, have a flying speed of 5 feet (Mist is slow), can hover, if air can pass through a space, you can do so too, and you can’t pass through running water. You are immune to all non-magical damage except damage from sunlight. You still cannot go into uninvited places or directly enter sunlight in either form. Gay-making Gaze: Once per long rest you may target one humanoid you can see within 30 feet of you. If the target can see you, the target must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw equal to your spell save DC or be charmed by you. They are now canonically completely gay if they were straight before. The charmed target regards you as a trusted friend OR if is the same gender, now believes you to be their lover. If they are trans-sylvanian, or already gay, they are immune to the charm. Although the target isn’t under your control, it takes your requests or actions in the most favorable way it can, and it is a willing target for your bite attack if seduced or convinced. This counts as your “one” thrall, Each time you or your companions do anything harmfu l, including the bite attack, it end s the effect. They are still gay. Forever. They caught the gay. Otherwise, the charmed e ffect lasts 24 hours. Y ou may end the effect as a bonus action, or until you use this feature again. Lil creepy friends : You may call 1 d4 swarms of rats , provided that the sun isn’t up, requiring no action. While outdoors, you can call 2d4 bats instead. The called creatures arrive in 1d4 rounds, acting as your allies and obeying your spoken commands. The beasts remain for 1 hour or until you dismiss them as a bonus action. Once you use this feature, you must take a long rest before using it again. Vampire Spells: Pick three level ones. Two level 2s (or more 1s). Then two Third level. You may swap out any in between sessions. I don’t care, don’t be a nerd. Just do off screen it’s really no issue. These abilities are seperate from all of the above “free” class features. You always get the stuff above. Eventually, ill probably add a bunch of custom ones to just pick from. For now, Ill just send you any custom ones your character would have. 1st Level: Bane Charm Person Compelled Duel Comprehend Languages Expeditious Retreat False Life Fog Cloud Ray of Sickness Sleep Wrathful Smite 2nd Level Alter Self Beast Sense Detect Thoughts Gust of Wind Invisibility Levitate Mirror Image Ray of Enfeeblement Spider Climb 3rd Level Animate Dead Bestow Curse Fear Feign Death Fly Non-detection Vampiric Touch Water Walk Contagion Dominate Person Class Feats: Since you start at level 3, you can pick ONE of these. I will give all of you special abilities based on your vampire ideas as well. Every level up you can pick another as well. There’s lots of roleplay purposes to this. If you remind me of what you picked, you can argue why this would affect the outcome of roles/story stuff. Be ast Mode: You can take the Dodge, Dash, Disengage, or Hide action as a bonus action on your turn. You cannot resist the allure of Energy drinks or speed when you see it. It’s like blood for you. Gotta go fast. Cum and Blood Drinker: The first time you regain hit points as a result of making a bite attack, you regain an amount equal to double the amount of damage you dealt with the bite attack instead of equal You are sucking the cum out of them though, and that’s honestly pretty gay. Hey, also cause it’s funny, ill let you add 1d4 temp hp on top of it if you admit your character is super gay in the canon. Mary-Sue Glass Ceiling Shatterer : You gain proficiency in all martial weapons, and advantage on persuasion rolls on women. If a Women/Trans- Sylvanian: They see your girl-boss ass and cannot help but admire you. Queen! We Stan! If Man: You are a strong eternal ally in the fight against the patriarchy. The world Truly needs more of you. Time to add your favorite Maya Angelou books to your Twitter Bio. Okay, so you’re just a little bit racist: Alright, look. Maybe it’s just microaggressions or some kind of latent bias. Maybe it’s just your upbringing. At the end of the day, you pick a humanoid or bestial enemy once per combat, and get advantage on that selected creature type. You gotta own up to it, though. An Eternity to Learn, but you’re still cripplingly ADHD: You may choose one more spell from any level. You gain a passive bonus to reading stuff, investigation, and +1 Intelligence and Wisdom. Sometimes, you’re gonna forget shit. Wait, what was this feat supposed to do again Blood Orgy Frenzy: You, your rats/bats summons and your thralls can perform bite attacks in place of normal unarmed strikes any time you would have advantage against a target. This heals them and grants you a Blood-Fuckery die if they kill them with the hit. Kinda hot, huh? Ultimate Virtue Signaler: Increase your movement speed by 10 feet. You also gain advantage on all Charisma-based rolls out of combat. Because everyone can tell you’re so woke and smart. It’s unreal, actually. You’re somehow the only good human left on this planet. The Incel of the group: Double your constitution when determining how many hit points you have at your level. Cause you’re a big fatass. You are no longer able to persuade, charm or convince women to do anything. Not that you’d want to, Fucking whores. You don’t even need them, right? They only want bad boys. Not secretly really nice guys like you. Misty Aura Escape : As a reaction on your turn or the enemies turn, you may transform into mist form. You may also spend a Blood Fuckery die to regain 1d4 health as part of the same reaction. You still revert back to your true form if reduced to zero hit points or break it under normal Creepy-Ass Shapechanger rules. Oh, and you smell like shit. Like, it’s really bad. That’s why you can enter into this at will. You got a permanent stink cloud around you always. Pairs well with Incel feat. It’s a kink, admit it: Your unarmed strikes and bite attacks deal 1d 8 damage instead of 1d 6 You can’t miss after you get one hit off successfully. You’re super into BDSM after all, this scratching and biting is nothing. Vanilla, really. Tell everyone around you constantly about it, im sure it’s not off putting at all. Uninvited Guest (Not in a rapey way, though.): You no longer require an invitation to enter someone’s residence. You uh... Look you kinda stalked an ex and it gave you the ability to just, you know, enter some doors. You agreed to the restraining order though. Your bad. It still counts as standard breaking and entering, and people will react accordingly. Casual Jogger: You love to run in the early morning. Not for health reasons of course. It’s the best way to get refreshed for a night of blood drinking and debachery. From the intense practice, you no longer take damage for ending your turn in direct sunlight. Up to one hour can be spent in open daylight, though you’re still a visible vampire to people unless hidden. The Vampiric Struggle is Real : When you successfully grapple a target, you may spend one hit dice to make a bite attack as a bonus action this turn. During your turn you may expend a spell slot to gain advantage on your Strength checks for 1 minute for each level of the spell slot. You are also really aware of the social issues facing Vampire-Americans. VLM!! Schnoz of great renown : You know if there is a living humanoid creature within 30 feet of you as long as they haven’t done anything to mask their smell. You may to completely negate the positive effects gained by spells and abilities like invisibility for all enemies within 30 feet for 1 minute. Yo u gain advantage on Perception checks versus hiding enemies. FAST as FUCK-boys : When initiative is rolled, you may spend one hit dice to add your proficiency bonus to your initiative roll. During your turn you gain a bonus to your movement speed equal to 10 feet for each Blood-Fuckery Die. You are a mega slut now by the way. Get it, like “fast as fuck boy!” The meme, but also “fuck-boy” as a bit? Rat-fuck : You’re a little slimey worm, aren’t you, a little piece of shit, huh? Your degradation fetish and general annoying cheater self has made you g ain +1 to the amount of rats (and bats too, fuck it) you summon from your Lil creepy friends ability. Vampire-Detector Implant : After spending a short amount of time in a town or city (Maybe as little as a day in a village to as long as a week or two in a large city, at roleplay discretion.), you can recognize the signs necessary to know whether or not there are any vampires in the local area. Some race traitor vampires totally agree to get this installed. It’s scary, right? Anyway, don’t get vaccinated. This shit goes in your blood man. You should do your own research, you can read all about this. It’s all spelled out right in front of us. Wake up, sheeple!! More to come!