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Babydick Capital dismisses rumors of connections to Jeffrey Epstein • Firm is finalizing plans to launch SPAC to seek targets making ‘cool shit’ but also ‘green’ • Engaging banks to gauge interest market appetite for OnlyFans debut January 1, 2021 12:15pm - Prominent New York hedge fund Babydick Capital responded on Thursday, to growing rumors of potential ties to Jeffrey Epstein. Twitter’s team of expert citizen-investigators initially suggested that the firms name might be a cryptic veiled reference to involvement in underage sex rings. In response to our requests for comment, Babydick’s chief counsel responded in an email that read only: “Yes.” A second emailed followed, “Just kidding. But really no, there’s no affiliation between Epstein and Babydick. We completely understand the misconception. To clarify, our firm‘s name is a reference to the compact size of our founders penis.” The firm passed along a list with contact information of the founder’s ex-girlfriends for our journalists to reach out to for confirmation. The list included only 3 names, though the firm stressed that it was not a comprehensive roster. • “It was quite small” - Our first confirmation came from Jane Bridger, a junior sell-side associate who covers cannabis stocks. “Things got out of hand at a conference, it was a mistake.” • “We did not date” – The second contact was Anika Baker, an SEC Investigator. “I spent a lot of time in their offices reviewing brokerage records under subpoena. Maybe he misinterpreted my criminal investigation as a romantic relationship.” Pressed further, she admitted “During the phone interrogation, he did ask if he could ‘do a Louis [CK]’ but I declined. I did not see his penis, I cannot comment on the dimensions.” Many were puzzled when the SEC declined to charge Babydick Capital and the agency faced sharp criticism when Anika was subsequently named lead investigator on Elon Musk’s tweeting case. “Elon Musk is not well endowed,” Anika told us, explaining that she did allow the tech-billionaire a brief ‘Toobin’. • No Luck - We were unable to reach the third contact, Sally Girlperson. Speculation Takes Flight – While the origin of Babydick Capital’s firm name initially proved sufficient to the quell the mob, a larger storm of accusations exploded after the flight logs from Epstein’s private jet were released revealing that someone with the initials ‘B.C.’ had traveled aboard a whopping 26 times. Twitter user @Eat_The_Rich wrote “B.C. stands for Babydick Capital! Who else could it be?” @StonkStar tweeted: “Nobody is skillful enough to post returns as astounding as Babydick Capital year after year – is Babydick blackmailing the NYSE???” Other users defended the beloved investment guru “Babydick Capital is just a genius, creating jobs. Stop being jealous.” tweeted @TSLAKid420 [Update: Twitter has disabled @TSLAKid420s account for this violent tweet]. “Not Us,” says Babydick Capital, “To the extent that our employees have knowledge of their memories, no Babydick employee has ever flown Jeffrey’s aircraft. B.C. must be someone else. Maybe Bill Cosby?” The Cosby theory was later debunked and leading journalists have not found any other potential B.C.’s who have a history of sexual exploitation. “Must have been a typo” factcheckers concluded. We asked the Babydick Capital team if they were worried that they might face redemptions from LPs seeking distance themselves from the allegations. The Firm replied with an email including only a spreadsheet of historical returns titled “No.xlsx”. This is a sponsored article from our ad partners Babydick Capital dismisses rumors of connections to Jeffrey Epstein Inspired by: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-10-28/leon-black-s-epstein-ties-set-to- dominate-apollo-earnings-call This is a sponsored article from our ad partners