I have highlighted in : R ed : words that should be removed t o make the sentence clearer B lue : words that should be added to make the sentence clea rer G reen : punctuation to mak e the sentence clearer Y ellow : sentences th at should be rephrased to sound clearer P urple : explained i n comments Theme Parks Family vacations are a great way to spend time with family and to add another adventure to your family story. Vacations , whether they are theme parks or resorts , can be costly if your research is not done prior to taking off. Theme parks alone can add up qui ckly , but if you do some research before _ hand and have a plan, they can be inexpensive and still have allows for a great time One of our favorite spots so far is Silverwood Theme Park in Idaho . You have the option of amusement rides on one side and water park on the other side of the park , all for one inexpensive ticket price. This is an inexpensive family vacation since your ticket is for both areas There are carnival games, a great selection of rides , and a food court on one side. The water park area has a large area for little kids to play in , and some great water slides. They do have lockers available on the water park side if needed. The train ride that is provided in on your ticket as well is very entertaining as well The food is like any other theme park, hamburgers, hot do gs, pizzas, etc. You may also bring your own lunch but that it must be eaten at your vehicle, which is what a lot of people do at that theme park. They have an RV park as well right in the same parking lot, very convenient since hotels are about 10+ miles awa y. This is just one of the many smaller theme parks available to families for some great memories. I am a research junky when it comes to vacations and I am always trying to find the cheapest way for my son and I to go on vacation. I research a lot of webs ites, try to find coupons and research the area we are going to , to see how I can make the vacation cheap but still have a lot of fun without the stress. One website I like to explore is Travel & Leisure as it gives me great ideas of what we can do. This w ebsite can provide specifics on a destination, travel itineraries, pricings, bookings , and just overall some great inspiration on your next adventure. This website is an abundance of information for vacations. You can even get recipes to try out before goin g to your destination This Commented [RBL1]: I feel you already explaine d this on your pre vious sentence Commented [RBL2]: Italicize or quote properly cit ing depends on your medium Commented [RBL3]: T his senten ce just feels “ dropped in ” website is not just for travelers, anyone can go on the website to get travel ideas, pricing , or just get some basic information about a certain area of interest. The only downfall I see with this website is that they advertise more o n luxury, resort vacations and larger theme parks. I think with this website being so informative they would get some more business if they promoted smaller theme parks and some inexpensive vacations. Also , with this website , I feel like some of the reviews are individual based and may need some more research if you wanted additional reviews on the area your interested in . Despite these limitations I still think this is a great website with an abundance of travel information. Peer Edit: By Ruben B - L - I fee l you could have talked more about your review rhetorically, like maybe talk about how the website's color engages their audience Perhaps how th e theme park manages to keep and attract its visitors F or example , you mentioned th e website adve rtised luxur y , you can write " that ' s bad because it makes it look more expensive than it really is , " o r : " it ' s a good thing because people want luxury and are therefore gu ided to that option " ( Y ou will have to elaborate a lot more) - I think you used a little t o o many per sona l pron o uns for a typical formal review , ( you, they , we , e tc. ) for example , instead of saying : " You have the option of amusement rides " you cou ld say : " the amusement pa r k offer s ... .. ” - You gave your audience a reason to read on, but I feel your thesis wa s unclear , and was a little confused o n your point. - I thin k i t would benefit you if you used s ome imagery in y our essay , perhaps descri bing what the the me par k was like