Tyler Eavey about 500 words 1319 Monte Carlo Dr Jenison, MI 49428 616.206.1989 tyler@eavey.com The Validation Place T.M. Eavey Rewards are great. Doing simple stuff should warrant larger rewards. Waking up! If you get up and go to work, that’s pretty great. Waking up is extremely difficult to do. I, myself, did not wake up until nearly 10.30a today. This is because I do some late writing, and also because I am a shade, visiting your lands temporarily from my house made of skulls in an underworld pocket dominion, who now dwells in the darkest corners of abandoned parking lots, and slinks silently through the wall cracks along Eavey / Validation / 2 tight, foreboding alleys. Picture a system of existing where overwhelming compensation is given unto everyone for doing everything. One plants a tree, and the tree grows to be suffused with branches which carry a plethora of every national currency. And even this act, planting a tree, is more effort than one usually takes on. Getting up in the morning earns you a hot breakfast made by a magazine model from Zimbabwe whose teeth are glowing pearls and whose accent makes one say ‘what?’ but not because you did not understand. Rather, you wish to hear them say the same phrase in as many different ways as they are able, because you have fallen in love with them. Going to work earns you a raise. Taking a moment to reflect on your choices after you’ve been mean to someone earns you a new wine opener with a little knife attached so you can cleanly cut off the top bit that covers the cork, but please remember it’s very sharp, so be careful. If you are patient and well-mannered on the phone with the pizza delivery place after they are late on a busy night, a larger, gooier pizza will supplant your original order when the pizza person arrives. Walking your dog means your dog will have treats on the counter waiting at home, and also, you’ll get another wine opener thing, Eavey / Validation / 3 because small wine openers can be easily lost and you’ll likely need a spare to put in a different drawer. ‘Course, the stipulations about doing bad things are still in question. If one wanted to rob a bank, per se, I’m unsure whether they would be inordinately successful and find, like, a sack of passports and social security cards, because it is something they chose to do and it would make them happy, or if this realm’s reward-deity would not help them in such a case, or if they would fail miserably, because the police would attempt to follow all the right steps in catching them, and in doing, ensure their victory. Animals are problematic, as some animals must murder others to survive. Would the lion slaughter more gazelles than he bargains for when trying his best to put on a good hunt, or would the gazelles be gifted with unprecedented swiftness? Issues aside, most things would be immensely gratifying. Sadness would be nigh impossible. Humans might finally understand that they are made in God’s image. Doesn’t it ring familiar? Sound like anyone you know? #