�amuel-,Jo.,cph-.John-Paul-(, regor� - \lahone, -1 u<,chcn 522 �tate �trcet \ladi.,on, \\ I 53703 A \IBITIOl � LE.\'\l '\G� ME\lOIR� OF \'\£,-POET L\l RF\ 1 l: A large number of , ignettc, all beginning a, folhm .,: I()73: Pari., or 200 I: i\ladi.,on. ThL "ill he an autohiograph� "ith each piece introduced a., a nc" .,_"ire bulletin. It "ill be "ritten in poetic pro,e detailing C'\perience, gained in and around ,ome of the folio" ing people and place,: \llcn (,imberg,�her� \lor,c,�uni and .Jordan Ca�lor, Paul �oglin,Ruth �tone,Phoehe �tone,(,corge \lc(,o, cm,(,regon ( or,o, D� Ian, Lann� . ih crman,Bill \lilov, Beckett' girlfriend, and hn er.,(a Belgian "aitre ,Parisiam, \mericam, Afro-\mcricam, a �outh \mcrican farmer', daughter,a .Japane<,e chcmi,t,an \lgcrian pro,titute(\\ orking in Pari,),an American Indian dancer, an l,racli cclli.,t,a Canadian drug dealer(\\ ith the clap), a '\te'\ican poet, a Dutch maid,a Lithuanian p,�chologi,t, and pcrhap, a \lartian or n, o). Then the others: hater,,"ar maker,, a blind photographer, crane-.,ma, or-., judge., ·enator ,a �enator'., daughter-.,go,.,ip columni-.t-., painter-., poet..,th1e, c.,, toothless carnies, a murderer,man� queen-. (hut no king-.),actor., and man� ,chiiophrenics. - \nd finall�,the place,: \lontrcal, Toronto,'\, C, Bo,ton, Cambridge, \ladison, Boulder,�an Franci-.co,'\c" Orlcan,,Tampa, \ crmont, 'ie\\ port, Paris, Hamburg, Ecthcrnach,Chicago, \lih, aukee, ( olumbu,, �un Prairie, Berkele�, and a fe" more people and place, that nm, come to memor� a, this ad, enture unfold.,. MO'\IC \, THF \I\, OR,\ '\O \ll '\1adi on, 1981: �o, \lonica and me, '"ca� and <,teaming, ,titled under the full moon, figured a fourth time ,H,uld he a hit much. \ugu.,t i, a time for , acationing. Or boredom. Or boring \.\Cations. But "e "eren't on , acation and ,H ,Hren't reall� bored.\\ e "ere merel� drained of an� ,eme of re,pomihili�. The 3:00am darknes seemed darker than u,ual. The \ladi,on heat ,, a, pu-.hing e, en one and e, en thing do"n. Do"n, a little ., clo er to the ground. Cheek to du t. M) fir t floor \\rill) 5treet apartment had become a toa ter o Monica and me popped out. '.'faked a the night"e dove into her red V\\ bug and headed for Lake l\'lonona. But s "imming for the ake of n imming quickly lo t it appeal. "He) Mona, dig thi , let drh e o, er to the Rutledge Street Bridge, drop into the Yahara, and ,,,im up to hi hou e." "The cop ," she "hi pered, "\\,e could get bu ted." \,\e sat there a silent econd, naked in the red bug, under a 3:00am treetlamp. \Ve"'ere staring pa t each other. "But he' the fucking ma)or, Tu chen!" Again silence. Then broken, "Let' go!" he laughed. Monica,"'hen mh:ed"ith Chablis, could be delightfull)"" icked. Paul oglin and Monica itter had been lo, er before. I knen thi . It didn't bother me and it certain!) hadn't changed m) opinion of either. I" a totall) fa cinated and, perhap , "'arped b) Iona. 'he"'as a pS) chiatric nur e,, ith thick, long lip , ah, a) excited e)e , and gentl) curled, henna colored hair. Her little brea t , like proud midget entrie , stood guard o, er her heart. And her c;;mooth, mooth a "a haped perfect!). Tight and"hite. If it had been a count1; all the "'orld' nation \\Ould ha, e claimed it. Built a moat or a" ine) ard around it. Something. (much more) BLOOD O THE TILES Madison, 1971: Madeline came O"\ er on a , Cr) gra) unda) afternoon. It"'a October. I"' as lh ing at 407 tate treet. A third floor,, alk- up, semi-ding) apartment. \,\,all painted ro)al blue. \\ ood "ork a flat"hite. In the bathroom (all "hite) the floor"'a made up of mall, black-and-" hite checked tiles. It usuall) looked prett) good until it"a plashed"ith blood. Then it"ent from cool to cold. Madeline had beautiful and long red hair. A soft and "onderful place to hide. A red silk) fore t that melled like hair. Clean hair. o cent in the"orld i that perfect. Joel had cho,en that particular da� to ,ma ...h her face. Again.'[ car, blended "ith a light blue e�elincr and blood. �he"anted to ,cream hut ,he had ne,er creamed before. Didn't kno " ho ". �o ,he"himpcrcd. lier face huried in m, houlder, he , , himpered and ,tuttered. And hied. '.\en ou,, an'\iou, and alcoholic, I ,at her on the ,ofa. "I'll slide aero .., the ,treet and get u, ,ome "inc. There', ,omc '\co,porin in the cabinet. Be right back." I kis ed her forehead, left the door unlocked, and ran dcm n the ,tair,. Outside the cold, October air filtered through gra�ne,,. I choked in it ,hakmg like pre� with a predator near. Aero. .., the ,treet to Badger Liquor I bought a bottle of ( hardonna, from a polite little clerk attempting to gnm a mou.,tache. lie ,aid, "Ile�! I kn<m ,ou!" ""-lo. "-lo )OU don't." Back across �tate �trect. l p the du,t) ,tain,cll, through m� unlocked door. Home. Home can be un,ettling. Madeline"a, not on the ,ofa. '\ot in the kitchen. "'ot out on that" ind�, little balcon�. Sudden I�, I knc ""here ,he"a,. I ,tumbled o,er a chair on m�"a� to the bathroom. The fir,t thing I ,a ""as darkening red blood inching, tile In little tile, to "ard the door. On it,"a� out. l•,,caping. "I hen I ,a " \ladclinc. ( urled fetal. \\ hiter than u,ual. E,en ,tranger than u,ual. Both of her thin, hlue arm,"ere ,la,hed. �!.,,heel deep I�. \' ertical. Deep and ,ertical. The little black and"hite tile,"ere being o,er-run In dark hlood. '\1adeline's Ionel�, beat-up,"orn-d<m n blood. I "anted to take her picture. (more) COLD P \RI�,\\ \R\t \\ l�E Pari : 1973: Dominique Crepin"a a third generation Pari,ian. �he looked and acted like a '50, (,-reem,ich\ illage bohemian,"ith one C'\ception: ,he"ould la�er her beautiful thin face"ith thick oil. Or grea,e. I don't kn<m "hat it"a,, hut it completel� tran,formed her face. A thin, ,lippcn cue ball. That',"hat ,he kept their knee, together. ·1 he,"l'rc protecting all that"ondrrful, "' l'Ct \\ ,,comin farmland. And pct CO\\ ,, elope, a,1Hration,, their mr,capahlc father fixation-. . I he, nere doomed to madne..-., or at lca,t alcoholic hu,trnncl, and ohr"t', and ) et I"rot<.' poem, about them. (much more) T \Kl\(, \ BFLT l•OR THF C .\ T'IIOLIC � �un Prairie, 1953: So I "�l, adopted In tlw, pair of ,adi,t1c Ph1h,t111c,. ti l knc\\ 1t. I felt 1t. I tried to Adopted for imurance monc,. \lurdcr"a, on 1c"mg. run a\\ a) from it"hen I"a, four. (,ot a long ,tick, red bandanna,"rapped nn .... / ,. , / ,, ,/ 6 ba eball gto, e and a mold) chec e sand"ich in that hopeful red bandanna and took off. It had been raining for da) s so I "ore m) boots too. Three blocks to"ard freedom, I ,, a knee deep in mud. Trapped, m) boots, isolated in their paces, could go no further·. I na stuck. Freedom eluded me once again. The Philistines pulled up in their '49 Ford,grabbed me from the mud, and thre" me in the back "iCat. I kne" and I huddered at "hat "ould happen ne,t. In ide the garage,pungent "ith the smell of oil, gas, and hatred, he made me pull m) pant do"n.. ot ha, ing the manners to ask me to bend o, er, he pushed m) head donn to m} knee ,pulled hi belt off, and buckle ide read),"hipped m) four )ear old a . I don't remember "hich "a flo"ing more - tears or blood - or dreams of freedom. It "a then I S\\ ore (at four) that I ,, ould ne, er gi\ e up. That r·egardles"i of any pain,ob truction or beating,this sorr) a s "ould sun i\ e! In my earl) }ear , I en ed a lot of time in that tin king garage. Beaten for laughing in church, for looking up a nun's habit (blue and "hite polka dots), for clo ed mouth ki ing .Jeannie at the foot of a statute of Our �a, ior, for trading m) holy card for ba eball cards. Times "ere tough. nd the) got tougher. Like l said, "murder "a on the "ing." M) (bio) n, in sL ter, Ann,"a a helli. h little bitch "ho garnered all the attention. Thi "a ignificant. The abilit} to giggle and curl-toss "hile being raped probabl) a, ed her from "garage time." En in (head philistine) picked his flo"ers "'ith dead I) preci ion. But more on that later. An)"'a), LITTLE HOL�I I'\ �l '\ PR \I RII un Pr a i r i e: ea rh 1950s: Dic k en, himse lf "ou ld ha,e had ,econd thought· about enter i ng that li tt le , Big ho u se. G nn s lat e d an d tilted, ah roof in con,tant di r e pair, i t stood like a tall. , il e n t nun. Oe c a � ing "alnut trees knelt in the front � a r d. A once rebell i ou� m a p l e , hi \ere d in the ba ck \\ ell attended bu,hc, ,q ua red thi o l d n u n an d pass e r , b � pa id littlea tte n tio n - e, en thoug h e,c� curtain in e, e� n indo" " a , u�u a ll � dnm n. fhe o ld nun "� " on her d e athbed. The fo undat i o n o f t he p l ace" a , a m i "tur e of ,Hence and ,ecrec� - cement 7 and �tone. The di r t flo o r ba,emen t ha d the ,our ,m ell of dam p "ood and coal. Light bul b hangi n g from si n g le " ir·es thr e w corr u pted , gr ot e, qu e ,hado", on the filthy " a lls. And t h e sh a do" , h ook in , o me s o r t of a death dance "ith e, e n ,te p taken ab o , e. Peopl e rar el � ,,e n t do" n there. t nin did. t 5:00 o'clock e, e� morning (at leas tduring the"i n t e r) he" ou ld de s cen d in t o thi s fro. t en hell to stoke the furnace "ith coal or gnarled logs. An d l did. To hide. �o metimes "e "ent there to gethe r. l "a aro u n d thre e " hen En in t oo k me t o the basement for the first time There ,, a Ka per,"ho b) the time Ann and I got there,"a al read) pi ing in hi huge, gra)' pant . ,Ju t pi sing a " 3) and grumbling about drh ing to German). And Emma, hi dutiful but"itche) "ife, "ho had long, thick"hite hair (that reall) did gli ten to her" ai t) but"as usual!) put up in a "bun." Probabl) a "folici safe" "ere ecret "ere tored. Pcrhap e,en nurtured. he"as lender and ma h el) "rinkled, deepl) religiou and mo,ed"ithin a )ello "i h aura that I',e ne,er seen around anyone ince. Emma and Ka per had fhe children. Four daughter and a on. T"o of the daughter , Alma and Martha al o lived in that un Prairie house. Aunt Alma"as a pencil thin, acne cared, loving and gentle pin ter"ho e onl) real ambition in life (or death)"a ainthood. ainthood of the Catholic t)pe. She"cnt mad in the eightie and died in the ninetie . 'uicide"as probabl) on her plate but she"ouldn't take it. Would've fucked up her ainthood riff. , o he probabl) died ,ia that so internalized, quiet and mooth uicide, the ecrets of"hich are kno \\n onl)- to �aint wannabce (much more) MIKE TY 0. ' GOT OTHl''i' 0:\ HER un Prairie, 1955: It \\a June n,ent)-se,enth. A date I till keep a a personal holiday and here i ho," I realized it: I'm a kid, nine, laid back, nestling full out in the long, tickling back)ard la, ,n. Cloud nere important. I \\a need). The equation wa met and I "a more than ati fied. But, jO)- makes some kids tupid, as I"a to find out. I thought that I'd cen God in one of tho e big,"hitc, androg)nous tlopp) cloud and, a a t),pical ,i ionaf), I ran indoor (n,o crecn door ) to tell '\llartha, my adopted mother. "Mom, mmmom, I think I ju t a " God!" he had her back to me. \,\,earing a long, black and tlonered dancing dres she \\as kneading bread. Without a nhispcr and not turning, she,"ith the po "er of 8 9 a"oman"ho kne,, he'd lo t her charm, back-handed me through the kitchen creen door,the back porch creen door,out on to the la "n. Home again. Landing in the gra ,no longer ticklish, I looked up - the cloud "ere still there, but God"a. gone. GI BERG AND KID EY TONES Madison, 1981: Probabl) one of the most enduring qualities of Allen Ginsberg was hi gentlene . E, ery one"ho kne " him has a sto� like this and I doubt that mine i an) different but here it goe any"a). In the pit of the Madi on CiYic Center (the) call it the "cro sroads") Allen, Cor o and Burrough sat on a ingle bench, pla)ing to the press. Corso kept standing up, itting do\\ n (an old trick that all of u drunk' u e). Burrough kept smoking bis cigarette ,looking at the carpet, looking,)a\\ ing at me (hidden conventitly behind a pillar). Gin berg"a itting, nearl) curled making Zen contact ,,ith his Timex a the que tion fie " in: "What wa Keroauc really like?" "Do any of you think that drug hould be legali7ed?" "What do you think of \Vi con in?" Behind my pillar,I nearl) pit up m) drink. cotch and tupidit) reall) don't mix. Lann) ih erman fin all) got the hint, tood up, and announced that the inter v iew was over. Cor o at do "n. Burroughs,, oke up. Ginsberg ga, e a light bow and fled to my pillar. "Tu h,I need some help. l need to take a nap. I can't make it back to the Union (Memorial Union,a UW facilit y "here"e had rented him a room). I need to lay do"' n now." "Come with me." I led him up to the third floor galle�·. Frank tella' "ork"a on e-xhibit. Beautiful autumn light through tho e great "" indo\, s in that great room spra)ed and shamed tho e damn flore cent lights. \\le pu hed t\\O green benche together. "I have kidney stones. I'm in pain, Tu h.,, Allen sat,then folded into him elf and, I think, he"ent a "a). I ,, The gaiter)"a empt) e\.cept for the un, Frank Stella's"onder and Allen Gin berg' bod) re ting on n, o green benches. I had ke)s, so I looked around, caught a glimp e of peace, walked out and locked the doors. CORSO AND THE CO-ED 10 Madi on, 1981: The , oice on the other end"a difficult this time. Tight. The t)·pe of voice that"ould start "eating if it had to go on for too long. "Tu h, 400. I need 400. Medical bill. You got it?" I made a little laugh then became edg). I "'orricd(,H·ongl)) that if I said ''no" he'd never call again. And I kne\, that if I aid '")e "n, o thing "ould happen: he certainl) "'ould call again and, I"'ould ha, e to borro,\ 350 from friends to honor hi reque t. I fir t met Gregor) Cor o on e,\ York' Loner East Side in '67 or '68(that old che tnut about the 60 i , unfortunatel), partiall) true). He had just gh en a reading and I"'a able to sa) hello and that' about it. He frightened me. His speech " 'as a runa "a)(bar) car loaded"ith Gilgame, h and Schell). I-le gesticulated madl) like the true Italian ghetto boy'" a . Even then both ends of his candle"' ere ablaze. Year later, after getting Cor o' an Francisco number from Gin berg, I called him and a ked if he'd like to come to 1\1adi on to gh e a reading. I"as "orking at the Madi on Art Center and Lann) ih erman "' a a curator there. \\ e had planned to do a erie of local poetl") and mu ic but I nanted omeone from the "outside" to come in and kick it off. Having ne, er been here before, and hort of money, Cor o agreed to make the trip. \\e had offered him 300, airfare and all expense paid. On the phone he ecmed elated to ,, ing out to \1adison. It"as February. Like I aid, he had never been here before. There"' a a problem, ho "e, er. Corso"a ha, ing difficult) "ith his on again/off again heroin habit. He phoned and a ked if I had ome - he didn't"ant to carr). I had to tell him that I hadn't banged ·mack in a decade. I did sa), that perhap , I could get him a script for methadone. He replied that that"ould be fine. He "just didn't wanna get sick" that far a "3) from home. I called ID) then/Zen doctor(,, ho wa al o a poet) and e�plaincd the ituation. He'" anted to help but said ... II that onl) the tate's head doctor could "rite a script for methadone. \if) doc tried to call thi "head doctor" but he "as in Canada for a month. Things\\ ere beginning to look a bit bleak. '\-o one el ·e kne \ , \\ hat\\ as going on and its\\ eight upon me\\ as becoming more than tiring. Finall), l called an old junkie friend in Chicago and told him to ru tie up ome stuff and meet Gregorio at O'Hare. VI) friend , aguel) kne" ,vho Cor o "a and didn't think he "ould recogniLe him. I told my friend not to "orr1 and that he needed onl) to "atch for somebod) \\ ho looked like he ju, t fle,, in from an Francisco "ithout a plane. (a jump) Coming out of the hotel and into the night time, bla, t\ of ugl), cold\\ ind "ere ripping up France treet. I huddered. Cor o had his breath blo"n a" 3) and the ide"alk, pla tered "ith la)er of sno" and ice, crunched hea, ) beneath our feet. France , ben, een tate and Langdon treet ha a sharp incline and "e "ere going do"n it. A college chick\\ a coming up on the other ide. \,\ e\\ ere the onl) three people on the block. All of a uddcn another bla t of "ind\\ hipped up the treet. I wa thro,, n up again t the "all, Cor o crouched, put his .. bottle-ina-bro"n bag" donn and darted like a kater aero the street. Meanwhile, the coed had been blonn off her feet and\\ as on her back "ith hundred of loo e paper \\ irling in little, white tornados abo, e her. But Corso "as there, liding on hi a picking up hea, e of paper\\ hen he\\ as dm\ n and handing them to her "hen he na up. He fell n, o or three times "hen something , Cr) intere ting happened: the "ind topped. Completel) stopped. And suddenly the night wa a till and a quiet and a cri p a an) Februaf) night could be. Corso continued picking up paper , no longer looking like he might be pulled of the planet. The coed wa finall) tanding, tear cri -cro sing the smile on her face. I "a. crouched over the paper bag miling at it contents. Finall), Cor o truggled back to the side,, alk He "a "caring this near toothle grin o huge l could', e tepped into it. ··1'o \ , if <lat\\ a,na acta ga,\ d!" he nhi per "hile grabbing hi bag nith one hand and taking m) arm "ith the other. \ 12 (jump) THF OTHER LL XF\180l R(, G \RIH '\� Ecthernach, Lu"\emhourg, 197-': ;\lod) I· rn,ter queen I) ne,ted o, er thi, joint named La Petite \larqui,e. �he had dirt) red lrnir, a small face, long fingernail\ and no place to go. So ,he ta) ed there in Ecthernach, a tin) , illagc in Lu"\cmhourg. Mod) o,, ned thL hotel, cafe, re,taurant and needed fresh no" ers for the table"i. \ friend-of-a-friend, I called her from Parh (needing to escape for the summer) and bragged that, if she had a garden, I" a, a gardener. On the phone, she had an inviting and C'\) , oice, .. , ou , ant to cut my tulip?" .. I'm not ure. But do )ou h�n c roses?" "\ a. �ome. Can )ou ,�n c them?" .. Of cour,e." .. Come up then. In :\-la ). You hall cure m) ro,c,!" "Then. I'll ee )OU then." It more difficult to lie in Europe than it bin America. European, consider all American liar . European, ha, e much more in ight and balance concerning lie,. American liar grope in untidy pile, of fresh laund�, p. uedo -mo rat, fanaticism and elf ob e ion. European liar , the beautiful ,, inner, in the I)ing game, arc ,mug contrast to the gidd), little liar from the "est. The)'re more than "illing to tell \'OU ' "He}, mole face, take )our imperialistic/mother fuch.ing attitude and go conquer Alabama. Ya can probabl) murder a fe" Indian, along the "a)!" Of cour e thi is u uall) said in a language other than )our O\\ n. \nd "ith a mile. o, I\tod) probabl) kne" I" as I)ing through m) ,horh (,cc, I'm lying no" - I ne, er \\ear hort ) but I hopped a train, sans ,ho, el, and headed up to Le Petite Swi s. Train ride ,, a beautiful but une, entful. �o unlike the train ride taken a fe" month earlier ( idc notc ...make d no "...)ea ...go there or not...(,, hat the fuck to do????) (much more) A FOL KIE UNA WARE, A DELA WARE PRINCES Newport, RI, 1969: The Ne "port Folk FestiYal ,, a a )earl) and legendar) event. Bob Dylan electrified in '65, Baez politicized eYet') )ear she could, Pete Seeger usually "freed" e, et')bod), and Ario al\\ a)s kept the bench "arm. Bob Kuehn, a singer/song\, riter, and I caught a lift from Ernst, a m)opic, paranoid, mustache n, irling, chess ma ter. We"ere cruising in from 'Vladison. Little did that gentle girl (\\ ith the T "igg) hair) from Dela "are realize"ho she'd run into. (much more) PAVOLINA AND A "KNEEDED" MA TlRBATORY I SIGHT Ne\\ Orleans, 1979: Greeks ah"a)S surprise me. Pa\:olina, an artist, and the most sought after lad) in the French Quarter, found The blue rammed out b) James Booker, a black, one-C) ed, racist, mother fucker ,, ho could pla) piano like Tyner on benonies. James hated all"' hites. eems he got hi right e)e poked in"ith a tick b) a white boy. The had been in primary school. I didn't care. He"as an a hole and he knew it. But, fuck! could he use those damn kc" ! And s,, eet, shrend Pavo I ina"et humped my knee (stain remains) in that crowded little lobby of the Toulou c listening to James key out his anger that somehow translated into a corrupted beauty (the only kind of beaut y I could relate to). Y cs, Pavolin a, an assholette, a beauty, a French Quarter legend. She"hispcred to me in a punk hu h orta wa), "You know dear thing, in one of m) past lives I"as Blake' ecret 10\ er. He taught me how to paint. And"rite. And he told me"h) l should sta) a " 3) from chump, little poets like you." All this time, her back to me, humping m) knee and listening 13 I -'Y I , ' . 1 to JB and reaching back cupping my balls. "Come,CUM,baby,you strange little shit." ''Come,CUM,COME ON!" I thought,"Awright,first night in town - what the hell - so I did." Bad move. (much more} POLICE TORTURE A D SPAGHETTI 14 Madison, 1968: The Lorenzo Lounge,in the sixties,was a monument to itself. Madison was throbbing,messed-up,mixed-up. Busting,man,just busting. Larr y and Dick Farina owned this place,this place that served good,cheap wine,dark beer,and a plate of spaghetti for a buck ana half. A healthy joint with radicalism, revolution,and superb sex,a criteria,a necessary ID to get in the door. Chef Bob ("big bob,we called him. 400 pounds - 300 pounds - heart) would try to jerk-off all the "lefties." He'd,sometimes, buff,puff his way out of the kitchen: "Tuschen,) ou long haired, little punk! When the fuck ) ou gonna go home?!" "He) Bob,I forgot my zip code. Don't knO\\ "' here I live. Gotta map ? " Night after night "e'd run this scene. Annoyed people just had to live with it. I mean,jeeez,400 pounds mixing it up with a poet ? Never. At least not in that comfort zone named "Lorenzo's. These were the late 60's and Dick and Larry Farina accidentally rubbed a cloud. Then it rained professors,painters,prosers,poets,film makers, cab drivers, chess masters,beer-chugging idiots and a ,, eb-toed magician with no regrets. One late night I ""as"' alking from Lorenzo's to my apartment at 521 West Mifflin. It was a Sunday night. There had been protests and riots on Mifflin and on campus for the last three days. Tear gas,or inhaling tear gas,"as nearly a physiological necessit) (to avoid ens w/d sx,ya understand). Yea,it was about 2 am and Mifflin t. was empt) - ripped up - but empt y Except for a single car. A small car,or perhaps it just seemed small - busting at the scams due to these four gu) s in ide. Big fuckers. It was a steamy night, the kind of night n here words,, ould actually stick in the air. Out of that air I heard, "There's one. Let's get em." I 15 (much more) OH?! lT 602 TI.'.VIE? Madison, 1968: I am not a pacifi t. Ha, ing spent mo t of m) childhood crouched in defen e of m, "other cheek •• I had learned, earh on,that to un he one must turn.. Ju t turn - get a punch in - then run like hell. In the late sh.ties a fe" of us "left), ub, er-,i, e " prcad our collccthe a e o, er the bar tool and tables of three (each unique) barroom . LorenLo' , at the corner of l nhersit) A, enue and Park Street,"as beautiful, dark, quiet and hugel) conspiratorial. On an) ghen e, ening mas he eco/politico/pacifi tic/anachari tic trategie \\ere plotted, S) nchroniJ'ed and jacked-off. The dark beer of Lo"cnbrau greased man) a neurotransmitter )Ct,enlightened fe \\. THE DEATH OF '.\I GlC Paris, 1974: There "a no grace in nn intention. I kne" ,, hat I "a after. rt "a a drink. Simpl), a drink. It turned into a bapti m. It happened like this: n, o American tourists - n, o medcan"omen, pla)ing smart at Le Select, ga, e me the ecret tilt - a ked me to their table. One"as from '\1ississippi. The other"a from Dela "arc. \ ep, Delaware. '\1atilda, the '\ilis,issippi queen,"a slacked do,, n in tourist teal. 16 (ma)be a smudge of a mustache) had the dripping pre cncc and said omething like thL: ) ou look like an Indian. An merican Indian. \\ hat are )ou doing here? \\ hat brought )ou to Paris? Field trip? 'iah, I lh c here - got an apartment up on the Rez. You kno\\ - rez du maine. I told Ma11 that I" as a .. communication maintenance engineer". l\tlan! \Va she impre ed. '.\1 ta11, and the other, came back to m) crib. Sherr)"as in I rael. Dua "ne, back in the Vo ge. Dennie in �pain - all cattered like dead feather in the"ind. o, left alone, like a Leonard Cohen"ct dream, \lar) and the other (and a dream that could', e left cailer) took our sill), little American pants off and fucked Paris back to 18th centul').. ' 1 1.al') \\as most de, otional but I guess most people from '\1ississippi arc de, otional. Or perhap the opposite. \takes no difference •cause it made no en c but, neither did much of the 18th centur). (mor·e) Pari , 1972: �he,..-) sent me a letter from Paris. �he al " a) "rote "ondcrfull)"hen she thought she"a, in control. �he Im cd po " er and control. Perhaps all 19 )Car old, ,Jc\\ i h millionaire's daughter, cnned that (more) \ladi on , 200.t: \e a .September 17 111 • and I', e ,tretched it to 55 ,ear,. \nd �ca, Iremember th ebo� hh nineteen bra ggin g : " Hell, I'll ne,er make it to n,cnt) h, o ! " Act u ally, i t i, prett) anrn.1ing tha t r, e made it th i s far and here', a fe" rea s o ns "h � : Places: (EC IITFR'\ \ ( H, Ll \': [ \ lBOl R G : I 973) ('\ E\\ ORLFO'\�, LA: 1 9 79) (� \ '\ I· R \ '\( I� ( 0, ( \: 1 9 7 5 ) (BE.Rk.ELE\. C A : 1 9 7 5 ) (HIGH\\A Y IIIT C II I '\ ': 19M)-76) l i (GOSHEN CORNER , VT: 1968) (MONTREAL, CA: 1969) (BOSTON, MA: 1970) (CAMBRIDGE, MA: 1970) (BOULDER, CO: 1971) (TORONTO, ONT: 1970) (MARSHALL, MI: 1975) (PARIS, FRANCE: 1972-73) (CAMBRIDGE, MA: 1972) (FLORAL CITY, FL: 1977) (NEW YORK CITY, NY: multiple) (CHICAGO, IL: multiple) (HAMBOURG, GER: 1973) (more...))