M E M O I R S of an E D U C A T O R Mohan Dallumal Published by Silverfish Books Sdn Bhd, 2019 (under the Argent imprint) www.silverfishbooks.com email: info@silverfishbooks.com M EMOIRS OF AN E DUCATOR Copyright © Mohan Dallumal, 2020 All Rights Reserved and Preserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission of the author with exceptions as to brief quotes, references, articles and reviews. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not by way of trade or otherwise be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. Perpustakaan Negara Malaysia Cataloguing - in - Publication Data Mohan Dallumal, 1957 - MEMOIRS of an EDUCATOR / by: Mohan Dallumal. ISBN 978 - 967 - 2438 - 02 - 1 1. Mohan Dallumal, 1957 - 2. Educators -- Malaysia -- Biography. 3. Teachers -- Malaysia -- Biography. 4. Autobiography. I. Title. 923.7595 Published by Silverfish Books Sdn Bhd (483433 - k) 20 - 2F, Bangsar Village 2, Bangsar Baru, 59100 Kuala Lumpur. Printed by Image Printec (M) Sdn Bhd 221 & 222,Jalan Negara 2, Metro Melawati, 53100 Kuala Lumpur 3 CONTENTS Foreword Preface His Calling. My Journey. (Part 1) ................................ .... 15 Missed bus ................................ ............................. 17 He Called but I Did Not Come ................................ ....... 18 And the Greatest of This is Love ................................ .... 19 Munnu ................................ ................................ 20 A Legacy of Love ................................ ....................... 22 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 2) ................................ .... 24 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 3) ................................ .... 28 A Gift with No Name ................................ .................. 31 Birthday wish ................................ ........................... 32 Happy Teachers’ Day ................................ .................. 33 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 4) ................................ .... 34 Multiculturalism ................................ ..................... 38 Multicultural Education for Pre - schoolers ......................... 39 Principal ................................ .............................. 42 Do What You Love ................................ ..................... 43 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 5) Where it All Began ............. 44 Counselling ................................ ........................... 47 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 6) ................................ .... 48 A Journey Through Multicultural Week at Kolej Dika ............ 50 Orientation Day ................................ ........................ 51 New Year’s Day ................................ ......................... 52 First Week of School ................................ .................. 54 Educating the Heart and the Head ................................ .. 57 Life’s Lesson ................................ ............................ 58 Nurturing Positive Children ................................ .......... 60 Advice but No Thanks ................................ ................. 62 Top Student ................................ ............................. 63 4 10 Tips When Choosing Your Degree ............................... 64 Soup for the Soul ................................ ...................... 66 Trust ................................ ................................ ..... 67 People with Influence ................................ ................................ ... 68 Marriage ................................ ................................ 69 Concert ................................ ................................ .. 70 Children ................................ ............................... 71 Lost and Replaced ................................ ..................... 72 Gift ................................ ................................ ....... 73 Mamba ................................ ................................ ... 74 Looks That Discriminate ................................ .............. 75 Early Childhood Education ................................ ........... 76 Role model ................................ .............................. 78 Growing up ................................ ............................. 79 Postman ................................ ................................ 80 Grandpa ................................ ................................ 81 Drama ................................ ................................ .. 83 Opportunities ................................ ........................... 85 Sex, or No Sex ................................ .......................... 87 Developmental Amnesia ................................ ............. 88 Lessons From Life ................................ ..................... 89 Walk the Talk ................................ ........................... 90 Call Me a Teacher ................................ ..................... 91 Life’s lesson: Street Smart ................................ ............ 93 Back to Basics ................................ .......................... 95 Small Things Matter ................................ ................... 96 A Little Space and A Little Time on Your Own ..................... 98 Reflection on Relationships ................................ ........................ 100 Life is Fragile (Part 1) ................................ ............... 102 Angels ................................ ................................ 104 Family Strength ................................ ...................... 105 Sir ................................ ................................ ...... 106 Learning to Trust ................................ .................... 107 Learn Wherever and Whenever You Can ........................ 108 Guard Your Soul ................................ ...................... 110 Family Matters ................................ ....................... 112 Life is Fragile (Part 2) ................................ ............... 114 Don’t Lose Your Best Educators ................................ ... 116 5 It is Easier to Build Children Than to Repair Adults ............ 119 Rainbow in the Rain ................................ ................. 122 Know Yourself and Do What You Love ........................... 124 Educator ................................ .............................. 126 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 7) ................................ .. 128 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 8) ................................ .. 131 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 9) ................................ .. 134 Death on My Guard! Blood on My Hands! ....................... 137 The Hug ................................ ............................... 140 Come and Meet the Parents in My School ....................... 143 The Helpless Educator ................................ .............. 146 The Excellent Educator ................................ ............. 151 Teachers Who Drive You Bananas ................................ 153 Johor Bahru Calls ................................ .................... 157 His Calling. My Journey. (Part 10) ................................ 160 Build Character for Success in Life ............................... 164 Parents Should Play the Role As Parents ........................ 167 Why Do Children Give Problems? ................................ 169 Helping Children to be Sociable ................................ .. 172 Time Flies but Memories Linger ................................ .. 174 Tracking System in Life ................................ ............. 176 When the Home Becomes a House ............................... 178 He Ain’t Heavy. He’s My Brother ................................ .. 181 Understanding the Language of Children ....................... 184 Nightmare at Terminal Bersatu Selatan (TBS) .................. 186 Keeping “Doors” Open ................................ .............. 188 Short - changing Children ................................ ........... 190 Have You Hugged Your Child Today? ............................. 191 Discovering Talent in Schools ................................ ...... 193 The Ghost in the Classroom ................................ ........ 196 Be Careful, Little Mouth of What You Say ........................ 199 Education Hijacked? ................................ ................ 201 Dika a College of Change ................................ ........... 204 Report Cards for Parents! ................................ .......... 207 Parenting, a Journey of Challenges and Blessings .............. 209 Emotional Incest ................................ ..................... 211 Heart - warming Lessons from a Barber ........................... 213 Be the Pied Piper of Hamlin ................................ ....... 215 6 Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head ............................. 218 Hitting the Right Notes in the Classroom ....................... 220 Discipline without Tears ................................ .......... 223 Heart to Heart Talk - Outside the Police Station ............... 226 40 Joyous Years ................................ .................... 228 Are You Educating the Heart and the Head? ................... 230 My Family My World ................................ ............... 231 Never Forget Your Roots ................................ ........... 233 Words of Wisdom from a Cab Driver ............................ 235 Where One More? ................................ ................... 237 Lessons From My Grandson ................................ ....... 239 Cry if You Have To ................................ .................. 241 When With A Child, be a Child ................................ .... 243 The Wise Man Built His House upon the Rock ................. 245 Building Families ................................ ................... 247 The School is not a Torture Chamber ............................ 249 Graduation - Throwback ................................ ........... 252 Teaching Children Kindness ................................ ....... 254 Mind Your Language ................................ ............... 256 Educators and Sexual Abuse of Children ....................... 258 Drink if you must, but do not get drunk or post it on your social media networks ................................ ........... 260 They call me Bapa ................................ .................. 262 My “Few Words” From “Heart to Heart” ........................ 264 Learning to Say “No” ................................ .............. 266 A Visit to Historical Malacca ................................ ...... 268 Immature Cataracts ................................ ................ 269 The Key to Inner Healing and Moving On in Life .............. 270 Strategic Purchasing ................................ ................ 271 Family - based Education ................................ ........... 272 Life is But A Dream ................................ ................. 274 The Law and Educators - Educating the Educators (Pre - schools - Kindergarten) ................................ ..... 276 My Personal Therapist ................................ ............. 279 Educating the Educator - The Educator and Labour Laws (Employment Act 1955) ................................ ......... 281 Educating the Educator (Child Care Centres) .................. 285 Using the Cane ................................ ...................... 288 7 Rakhi ................................ ................................ .. 289 A Lesson in Parenting ................................ ............... 290 Saying “No” to a Dying Man ................................ ........ 292 A Dose of Advice to Principals of Preschools - From the Heart of a Former Principal ................................ ...... 294 The Right Educators in the Right Place .......................... 297 Why I Became an Educator ................................ ........ 299 This Little Light of Mine, I’m Going to Let It Shine ............. 301 Being a Great Educator ................................ ............. 304 Be Thankful ................................ ........................... 306 Hurried Children ................................ ..................... 308 “I Love You”, the Most Powerful Words on Earth ............... 310 Journey of Self Discovery ................................ .......... 312 He Calls me Nanna ................................ .................. 314 Amazing Grace ................................ ....................... 316 Remembering My Mother - The Pillar of my Family ........... 318 Saying Goodbye is not Easy ................................ ........ 321 The Fall of a School ................................ .................. 323 An Open Letter to the Minister of Education, Dr Maszlee Malik ................................ .................. 325 These are Some of my Favourite Things ......................... 329 The Educator as a Counsellor ................................ ...... 331 Treating People, Not Just Educating Them ...................... 334 Living and Loving from Day to Day ............................... 336 Learning to Accept the Unacceptable ............................ 338 Never Forget Friends ................................ ................ 340 An Educator and An Entertainer ................................ .. 342 You Lose, I Win ................................ ....................... 344 The Boy Who Brought His Village to School ..................... 346 Parenting is All About Love ................................ ........ 348 Resolutions ................................ ........................... 350 9 G Foreword etting to know Mr Mohan was one of the blessings I received when I joined Dika. When he first shared with me the idea of printing a book, I was all for it. He is a person with a wealth of knowledge and a heart of gold, and one or two sessions with him are never enough. My learning from him is often about parenting and family, topics that were new to me six years ago. Personally, he is the North Star, not seen all the time but always reliable and true. The lessons he shared with me when I had trouble navigating out of a predicament, and his wise words, provided encouragement and direction for the next right thing to do. The stories he has shared in this book – as a son, brother, parent, educator, colleague, mentor, father and grandfather, strikes the reader’s heart. Some of these stories might not make sense now; some will bring chuckles to your face as you think to yourself “Oh, that’s me!”;, some are heart breaking’ whilst others heart - warming and inspiring lessons that are valuable for everyone. Reading this book reminded me of a scene in a movie, where a man, young, ambitious, and thirsty for knowledge would do all that he could, just to sit by hismentor, and listen to the wise words he would share for the day. One story a day. One lesson at a time. 10 Indeed, Mr Mohan has been a great blessing to Dika college, and in him our students have a wonderful, loving and caring “Papa Bear” who inspires every single day. “Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great teacher.” - Japanese proverb Pua Chee Ling, Chief Executive, Dika College. I Preface have been an educator for more than 40 years. I have been blessed by children and their parents, and gratified by fellow educators and colleagues. You have all enriched my life with remarkable experiences, profound love and insightful lessons. I have always been a proponent that education transforms through inspiration. In as much as I have relished being an educator, the people whom I have come in contact with, have in inexplicable ways educated, inspired and transformed me. In return, I pray that “Memoirs of an Educator” inspires, educates and transforms its readers. I thank all of you who have inspired and moved me to write this book. I would like to extend a special word of thanks to Pua Chee Ling for supporting and assisting with the publication, and to Aileen Anthony for helping edit it. My gratitude also goes out to Kamala Udayan who was insistent that I publish a memoir. If I were sent to this world again, I would ask God for only one wish, “Send me as an educator and parent.” All glory belongs to God. I am a blessed man. May this book be a blessing to others. This book is dedicated to the apples of my eye: - My grandson, Aarav My daughter, Rita@Reshma My son - in - law, Rueban To all educators and parents 15 I His Calling. My Journey. (Part 1) n the 1980’s, I was a qualified graduate teacher who worked with teenagers. It was ideal at that time for one to pursue a law qualification, and being an idealist, I decided to study law part - time. I wanted to help the weak and the marginalised segments of society. Soon enough, I had enrolled into the University of London’s law programme. As I was exempted from the Intermediate level, I began with Part 1 of the programme. I had spent two years studying law when I heard His calling. His calling was very clear, “Go back to education. Help children and young people.” It was God calling on my life. I followed the call. It was a difficult decision. There was no way and no where I could run, so like Jonah, I followed the calling. That was the start of my journey. I then applied to do my Masters at University of Malaya. I chose to do it in the field of education, specifically in counselling. In those days, universities rarely accepted candidates from the private sector. When the results of the applications were released, I was not among the list of successful candidates. I consulted a friend at the University, Prof Datuk Marimuthu. He told me that they only accepted five candidates to do counselling psychology. I was the sixth. I scolded God for wasting my time and distracting me from my law studies. I think, He had a good laugh. Maybe, He is still laughing as I am writing this. 16 Memoirs of an Educator One week later, I received a call from the university informing me that one of the candidates had not turned up and they were offering the place to me. I was stunned. I thanked God, accepted the offer and reported to the university. I am sorry God, for mocking you. Then came the next hurdle. I told God that I did not have enough money, as I needed to study and work to take care of my family. God said, “Be Quiet”. Within a month, the university offered me a monthly assistance of RM700. I received this assistance as a non - academic staff for two and a half years. God is faithful. Then I asked God for the best supervisor for my research study, Prof Dr. Chiam Heng Keng. I approached her expecting a “No”, but after she heard me, she said “Yes”. Again, God came through. Finally, I needed case studies. I approached Mr. James Nayagam who was the director of a shelter home. He agreed to let me conduct my study on abused and neglected children at the shelter. I completed my studies in two and a half years. I learned about children, young people, myself and most of all about God’s faithfulness. My faith was increased by leaps and bounds. My advice to all of you is to put your trust in God. He will come through. Do not be like me, I doubted Him. Instead, lean on Him, in good times and in bad times. He knows what He is doing. Sometimes He says “No”, sometimes “Wait” and sometimes “Yes”. Be patient. Do not try to analyse God. It will not work. God has His reasons. One day, you will understand. Be Patient. 17 I Missed Bus t was a Wednesday evening. I was on my way back to Puchong after my class at the Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA). At about 7:30 pm, I caught a Metro bus from Pasar Seni. Unfortunately, the bus broke down along the way. The driver asked us to take the next passing Metro bus at no charge. As the next bus arrived, it was already packed. So was the following bus. It was close to 9:00 pm when the third bus arrived. As it was a RapidKL bus, I had to pay the fare of RM2.00. Finally, I reached Puchong Jaya. I was tired and disappointed, but I was finally home. Life is like that. Sometimes we miss buses, sometimes we take the wrong buses and sometimes buses breakdown along the journey. However, the important thing is that we reach our destination. We run the race, complete the race and we leave a legacy. 18 M He Called but I Did Not Come any years ago, I mentored a 15 - year - old boy, Nithia, and his 17 - year - old sister, Ahila. Nithia would often come for classes in bandages. He was accident - prone. I often advised Nithia to be extra careful. That year, Nithia sat for his Penilaian Menengah Rendah (PMR) in October. Sometime in November, while I was teaching at my institute, a young boy came looking for me. He brought news that Nithia was dying and his last wish was to see me. I was not sure whether to believe the boy or not. However, deep down in my heart, I knew it was true. So I followed the boy to Nithia’s house which was about ten minutes away. I was hesitant, afraid and reluctant to face a dying child. I walked slowly. When I reached Nithia’s house, he had passed away. I had arrived a few minutes too late. His parents and sister were crying. His sister, Ahila said this to me, “He loved you more than me and yet you did not come.” Those words haunt me to this day. I had failed Nithia when he needed me most. Yes, I was a young teacher then. Not strong enough to face pain. Selfish. I had learned my lesson. I urge all educators to be courageous. Do not think only of yourself. Do not be selfish. People want to see us for how much we care, and not how much we know. Be strong. Be an educator with the heart of a lion. Do not make my mistake. I regret it and I wish I could turn back the clock. He called and I did not go to him. Nithia, Ahila and family, I am sorry. 19 M And the Greatest of This is Love y daughter came back for the weekend. She was in the process of completing her Masters, and she had to go through a viva before she submitted her thesis. She stayed in a hotel for two days, preparing for her viva. The night before, she told me she would be coming to stay with me for the night before flying off to Penang the next morning. I was thrilled to have her with me, though it was only for less than a day. She arrived at about 1.00pm. We spent some time talking, eating and resting. I skipped an important meeting to be with her. However, that night she said that she would be going out for dinner with a friend. My heart sank. Selfish me. In life, many things are important but the greatest is love. Being with someone whom you love and who loves you is fulfilling. Every minute counts when you are with them. The love you share gives you wings to fly. The moments you spend together are precious and priceless. So value your loved ones, they matter and love matters. In the words of Mother Teresa, “The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved”. 20 W Munnu hen I was the principal of a private school in Cheras, we had a school bus system. Fees were paid to the school and the school paid the drivers. We had a fleet of six buses to ferry the young students. One day, a young boy complained to me that the driver was collecting an additional RM50.00 monthly from each student. Failure to pay would mean that, the bus would not come, or the bus would be late or they would be left some distance away from their drop - off point. I arranged a meeting with all the young students who took the school bus. I told them not to pay anything to the bus drivers. I asked them to come forward and make a stand if they were victims of this unscrupulous action. Three young students came forward and they were all from Munnu’s bus. I asked them to write down their complaints. With that, I went after Munnu. I called Munnu to the office and gave him 24 hours to return all the money, or else a police report will be lodged against him. Munnu looked like a character from the Hindi movie, Chennai Express. Sad to say that although the money was returned, it was not by him but by a member of the school’s management who happen to be his relative. Munnu informed all the drivers that he would go to India and perform some ‘black magic’ on me. In three months, I would fall sick and by the sixth month, I would die. This was relayed to me by the drivers. They told me that Munnu was skilled in ‘black magic’. 21 Mohan Dallumal I said to them, “Let him do whatever he wants.” Munnu went to India during the school holidays in April. After which, I found animal blood outside my office. Everybody was waiting for me to fall sick and die. Well, I am still alive. We have to stand up for what is right and not what is convenient. I put my life in God’s Hands. He is my Protector. As educators, we will face people like Munnu. We must be willing to stand by our children and stand up against people like him.