Love Songs Vol. 2 Week 3 - Febru ary 2 8 , 202 1 Song of Solomon 6 - 8 GETTING TO KNOW YOU 1. Which is harder for you, to give or re ceive words of affirmation ? What makes it so difficult for you? 2. Have you ever shared a compliment that backfired ? What was the result? 3. Stephen Covey said, “ We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior ” Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? 4. Dave Willis said, “ Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, pr ayer, mutual respect, and a rock - solid commitment between a husband and a wife ”. Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? 5. Lisa TerKeurst said, “ God doesn ’ t want me to be a ‘ fix him ’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘ love him ’ wife ” . Thoughts? Agree ? Disagree? 6. L ooking back at your notes from this week’s sermon, was there anythi ng that particularly caught your attention, challenged or confused you? DIGGING DEEPER 1. Last week we looked at conflict in the relationship. The conflict has been resolved and the couple will experience a grace fi lled season in their marriage. What does Solomon say to his wife in chapter s 6 & 7? What does th is do for his bride? Ho w does it make her feel? What is her response to him? What does she say to him? How does he receive it? How does speaking godly compliments, encouragement, and edification build up relat ionship s ? • What does your normal com munication pattern with your spouse so und like ? Does it build up o r tear down? Explain. When you think of good things to say, do you say them? D o y ou avoid saying mean or hurtful things? Why do we need to guard our words with our spouse? How import ant is our words and communication with each other? What are some ways that you can start to speak life and positive words of affirmation this week? What negative patterns of communication do you need to avoid? 2. The couple not only take s time build ing each other up with words of affirmation, but they put words into actions . Time was an issue for the young couple, what do they commit to doing a fter resolving their conflict? How much time do they give to one another? What does where we spend our time say about us? • How much time do you set aside for your spouse? Do you actively date your spouse? How often do intentionally set aside uninterrupted time for each other? How often do you have date nights? • What do you find y ourself wanting most from your spouse: being pursued, included, thought of, romanced, helped, or given to? What things seem less important to you? What does your spouse want? How can you mee t each other ’ s needs ? Explain. 3. Besides time what actions were taken on by th is couple ? Do actions speak louder then words? Explain. How was thought put into the actions themselves ? W hen you do things for other s , what does it say to them? What actions resonate most with those you are in re lationship with? What actions are you not doing, that you ne ed to start doing? Explain. • I s it easier for you to say something special or do something special ? Which do you prefer most in return? Do your intentions ever fail or fall short to reach actions? Explain. What are the best ways your spouse closes the gap between intentions and actions? O ut o f the action /s which ones are natural for you and which ones take intentional effort? What are some intentions you haven ’ t t urned into actions? How could you close the gap? 4. If you don ’ t like w hat you are getting, look at what you are giving. What are some things that you wish were different about your relationship s or marriage ? How often do yo u wish y our spouse would change in an area ? What can you do to be what you wish was different? • How can you avoid trying to change your spouse ? What are some “ purposeful time ” or “ thoughtful acts ” you ca n do this week? 5. What will you do to keep wo rking on your marriage in the future? Identify some ideas together for ways to put love into action. G ROWING CLOSER 1. Who is someone you shared the gospel with this week? 2. What have you been reading in your quiet times? 3. What has God been teaching you?