Cayli Cheeks Satirical Essay Bury Your Gays I am a lesbian. I am a lesbian who loves television. In my nineteen years of life, I have watched hundreds of thousands of hours of television, and, over time, one thing has become abundantly, irreparably clear: I am gay, so that means I’m probably going to die soon. According to GLAAD, a med ia monitoring organization founded by the LGBT community, there were 128 lesbian or bisexual female characters on scripted television shows in the Fall 2015 – Spring 2016 television season. That number counts main and recurring characters on broadcast net works, cable channels, and online streaming platforms. Of those 128 chara cters, 25 of them died. That’s almost a fifth. So since the lesbian s on TV die , and they say that art imitates life, I’m most likely going to die. And I probably won’t die in a ve ry meaningful way either, I’ll die in some pointless way that teaches the straight people in my life some meaningful lesson about acceptance, like when Lexa on CW’s The 100 was killed by a stray bullet and then suddenly her father figure realized it was be tter for her to be gay and alive then, well, dead. I might also die following a happy event, like how Tara Maclay died (also via a stray bullet) on Buffy the Vampire Slayer right af ter she and Willow reunited and consummated their love. Living life as a lesbian seems like it’s just a constant struggle to just stay alive. In March 2016 alone , Lexa died on The 100 , a gay woman of color was introduced on The Magicians and then killed herself about two scenes later, Denise, a lesbian on The Walking Dead, w as shot in the eye by an arrow, a lesbian couple killed themselves on The Vampire Diaries , and on Empire, a bisexual character, Camilla, killed her wife with poison and then killed herself. That’s seven deaths of queer women in just a few short weeks. No w, it’s a fact of life. People die. Television shows kill off characters as a method of driving the plot forward. I know this. But i s it too much to ask for lesbian and bisexual female characters to get a happy ending a little more often? Most modern television shows have, if we are lucky, one queer female character, and yet, since 1976, when Julie, a lesbian character on Executive Suite was hit by a car when she followed her love interest into the street, over 200 queer female characters have died on television. Now, I’m not saying that queer female characters on television should never be allowed to die. Sometimes a queer female character death might actually make sense. Like Jenny Schecter on The L Word , she definitely deserved to die...no offense. But they should not be dying at a higher rate than any other type of character, especially considering that they have a much lower rate of representation. It’s kind of like, television writers create queer female characters just to be able to say that their show is inclusive and diverse, and bait queer viewers into watching the show, but they don’t really know how to actually “use” those characters. The characters always seem to be oversimplified or stereotypical, on the sidelines, and have relatively flimsy story arcs and inconsistent characterization, until finally, the writers ’ room gives up and kills them off in what is usually intended to be a tragic, yet heroic manner, that, ultimately, is meaningless. Television writers place little to no value on the lives or stories of queer female characters, and treat them disposably. But queer fans deserve better. We should get more than the tired TV trope that occurs so often that it has even become known as “Bury Your Gays”. According to a 2 018 study by trend forecasting agency J. Walter Thompson Innovation Group, 52% of Americans age d 13 to 20 identify as LGBTQ+. That’ s approximately 38.2 million people Don’t we deserve to see our stori es in the media in the same way as everyone else? Sh ouldn’t we be able to see characters on television whose lives are truly rel atable to ours? To not feel like the most likely possible conclusion to our lives is an early death? I , personally, would like the opportunity to not die, and, maybe, one day achi eve a happy ending, but , based on what I see on television, it appears that my death is an inevitability. But still, one day , I do hope that I will see queer female television characters with stories just as complex, nuanced, and fleshed out as those of t heir straight counterparts, that maybe don’t end in death, just to switch things up a bit. I am tired of feeling like I am counting down the days to my untimely demise. However, just in case I am met with an early death, I would like to request that I am buried in a biodegradable casket , and that m y favorite food, scallops, are served a t my funeral.