* * * * * ~ * FOR * PRESIDENT * * * * * * NEWS RELEASE HOLD FOR RELEASE: 10 A.M., 3 DECEMBER, 1979 ROBOT DECLARES FOR PRESIDENT NEWS CO}:FERENCE: 10 A.M., J DECEMBER, 1979 PLACE: EAST LOUNGE, ~ATIONAL PRESS BUILDI~G, WASHINGTOJ.\, ,. D.C. PHOTO OPPORTUNITY: NOON It\ FROKT OF WHITE HOUSE, PENNSYLVAl\IA AVE. FOR t :! ORE IKFORMATION CONTACT: NEWS SECRETARY PETER GAMBLE, PHILADELPH IA 215 667-2394; WASH INGTO N, D.C. 202 347-9168; OR FUBAR CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS, BEVERLY, NJ 609 387-4714 * * FUB AR--Futuristic Uranium Bio Atomic Robot -- a red eyed, electronic alien, has d~clared for president on the T.G.I.F. Ticket (Thank Goodness It's FUBAR). Presently · residing in Beverly, ~J (just outside Philadelphia), the hig~ly charged candidate hopes to appeal to A~ericans who have always wanted to vote for a real po litical machine. The robot began his announcement with a familiar, recording- like message made ominous: "Good morning , America ••• this is your wake up ca ll ••• this is your wake up call." He proceeded to suggest that shake up follow wake up. ''The time has come for the many robots a lready in gover nment to have a leader." The red, white a nd blu e tr i rr~ e d robot intimated it is his -rr:ore- FUBAR CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS • BEVERLY , N.J . 08010 • (609) 387-4714 NOTE - SEE PAGES 3-4 FOR ACCURATE OCR TEXT destiny to occupy the Oval Office. After Fate forced him to crash land in New Jersey, the candidate claimed, "! climbed out of the Delaware River, sensed a tingling in my transistors and knew I had become a born-again-robot." Cognizant of the rocky road candidates must traverse, FUBAR illustrated some of his other qualifying characteristic s . First, the robot pointed out his transparent abdomen which clearly displays his vital components. "I pledge to constantly show what I am made of. "I pledge to be a tireless campaigner," he continued, demonstrating his roller wheels. "t...ote, no retreads here." Kext, he puckered his lips. "Able to process 10$ babies per minute. 0 No alien to Washington decorum, FUBAR flirtatiously aimed a kiss toward a female in the audience, 11 how 'bout you, baby'?" Finally, the candidate flaunted his ace in the campaigning hole--his propensity for handshaking, back slapping and back scra'tchl.ng. "Notice, nothing up my sleeves and only 3 fingers per hand. Streamlined for rapid contact." He extended his left arm to a full five feet. "Able to greet second row citizens, a maneuver · absent from the stump since the days of Long-arms Lincoln." Still, why support an extra-terrestrial robot? "I am programmed to bring out-of-this-world promises back to earth." An attribute which makes him, he said, "the ultimate in political machines." Neither rightwing nor leftwing, Republican nor Democrat, FUBAR plans to renavigate the course of America. "We must expl0re what's over the rainbow." He proudly waved his three golden fingers. "We must recapture the big three: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." The charismatic candidate exited the Press Building amid a flourish of handshakes and back slaps to the inspiring chan· t, "gimme three ••• gimme three ••• gimme three • " • • * * * FOLLOWING THE NEWS CONFERENCE FUBAR WILL PROCEED ONTO THE STREETS OF WASHINGTON FOR SOME CAMPAIG~ING. THE CANDIDATE WILL ARRIVE IN FRONT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ON PENNSYLVA~IA AVENUE FOR A PHOTO OPPORTUNITY AT t oot.:. - 30 - FUBAR CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS • BEVERLY, N.J. 08010 • (609) 387 - 4714 NEWS RELEASE HOLD FOR RELEASE: 10 A.M.., 3 DECEMBER, 1979 ROBOT DECLARES FOR PRESIDENT NEWS CONFERENCE: 10 A.M., 3 DECEMBER, 1979 PLACE: EAST LOUNGE, NATIONAL PRESS BUILDING, WASHINGTON D.C. PHOTO OPPORTUNITY: NOON IN FRONT OF WHITE HOUSE, PENNSYLVANIA AVE. FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT: NEWS SECRETARY PETER GAMBLE, PHILADELPHIA 215 667-2394; WASHINGTON, D.C. 202 347-9168; OR FUBAR CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS, BEVERLY, NJ 609 387-4714 *** FUBAR -- F uturistic U ranium B io A tomic R obot-- a red eyed, electronic alien, has declared for president on the T.G.I.F. Ticket (Thank Goodness It's FUBAR). Presently ·residing in Beverly, NJ (just outside Philadelphia), the highly charged candidate hopes to appeal to Americans who have always wanted to vote for a real political machine. The robot began his announcement with a familiar, recording-like message made ominous: “Good morning, America . . . this is your wake-up call . . . this is your wake up call.” He proceeded to suggest that shake-up follow wake-up. “The time has come for the many robots already in government to have a leader.” The red, white and blue-trimmed robot intimated it is his destiny to occupy the Oval Office. After Fate -more- forced him to crash land in New Jersey, the candidate claimed, “I Climbed out of the Delaware River, sensed a tingling in my transistors and knew I had become a born-again-robot.” Cognizant of the rocky road candidates must traverse, FUBAR illustrated some of his other qualifying characteristics. First, the robot pointed out his transparent abdomen which clearly displays his vital components. “ I pledge to constantly show what I am made of. “I pledge to be a tireless campaigner,” he continued, demonstrating his roller wheels. “Note, no retreads here.” Next, he puckered his lips. “Able to process 108 babies per minute. No alien to Washington decorum, FUBAR flirtatiously aimed a kiss toward a female in the audience, “how ‘bout you, baby?” Finally, the candidate flaunted his ace in the campaigning hole--his propensity for handshaking, back slapping and back scratching. “Notice, nothing up my sleeves and only 3 fingers per hand. Streamlined for rapid contact.” He extended his left arm to a full five feet. “Able to greet second row citizens, a maneuver absent from the stump since the days of Long-arms Lincoln.” Still, why support an extra-terrestrial robot? “I am programmed to bring out-of-this-world promises back to earth.” An attribute which makes him, he said, “the ultimate political machine.” Neither rightwing .nor leftwing, Republican nor Democrat, FUBAR plans to re-navigate the course of America. “We must explore what's over the rainbow.” He proudly waved his three golden fingers. “We must recapture the big three: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” The charismatic candidate exited the Press Building amid a flourish of handshakes and back slaps to his inspiring chant of, “gimme three . . . gimme three . . gimme three . . .!” * * * FOLLOWING THE NEWS CONFERENCE FUBAR WILL PROCEED ONTO THE STREETS OF WASHINGTON FOR SOME CAMPAIGING. THE CANDIDATE WILL ARRIVE IN FRONT OF THE WHITE HOUSE ON PENNSYLVAIA AVENUE FOR A PHOTO OPPORTUNITY AT NOON. -30-