Dedication To Jesse Ellis Lingard 'death..and pain....what are they.....but reflections on a shallow mind' jlingz Chapter 1 Like a fish in the mind of a shark........he was nothing.........the shark has tasted human blood........the shark hungers for it now...........crazed.........the fish is nothing to him.........jess leaves the defender spinning, off balance.........., young jesse......jay lingz...... leaves him behind without ever having been....heh...,.... aware of him........big J-shark is hungry for the real deal, the proverbial blood, the literal goal...........i am in the stands.......i tear up..........i am a witness.....yeah.....of a young player who has tons of potential.......yeah not even the real deal yet....the bona fide...bonified...like the defender was bonified (died) when jessy skinned him........ metaphorically of course.......jessys not a killer.........his soul is clean, pure, toothpaste.......... he will stay outta jail.....he has to provide for his family..........even though he is so young........still so young..........i reckon jaydog is like a strong wind............ .like when you feel a strong wind blowing and you don't know if it's going to pass.........yeah or if it's going to be a hurricane........thats young jessy....... except you know heh.....jesboy's not going to pass.......unless we're talking bout football......heh......then he's going to make the perfect pass.......between a hundred defenders if need be......to score......to help the team......... jay lingo he's always giving..........but he knows how to receive as well.......like one time at ashleigh youngs birthday.....birthday boy decided to spice things up and instead of receiving gifts he...... yeah he would be giving giffs instead......yeah......he gave everybody a box..... yeah there was a small black box for everyone yeahh.........very unorthodox, uncatholic too one mite say...heh...for a birthday party.......but that was ashleigh for you.......never was another player like him......not in a good way necessarily..........but anyway i am in digressions again....heh.......point is... ain't nobody was pleased at what was in those box Ash gave out...... except young jay mother fuckin ligz.........he understands things others don't........ that's what makes him so talented in his youngsterness.... separates him from the pack...........eh? what was that? you wanted to know what's in the box?.....heh...... what's in the box.......heh......well......jessy lingz is in the box.......cross comes in........volley with the back heel..........top bin........ Chapter 2 Showing em what's what...... that's what.......but what is that......the what becomes the that when it's shown.......but young jayling.......when he's on the pitch........he never shows anything to the opposing players..........they can't see the ball.....yeah.....a game of hide-n-seek you can't win..... yessir.......until the ball's in the back of the net...... that's when they see it....... they've been shown........heh......they see what they couldn't see before.....in a way jesse enlightens them...... that's what lil ling does.......heh.....well.....heh..... there WAS..... one player......one defender.... somehow....could see the ball before linny revealed it to him.......but ling was younger then.........even more inexperienced........that defender was Phile 'willy' Johnes....... dubbed the next Maldini [romanian defender....real good....could kick a ball so high you'd grow a beard waitin for it to fall down] he was 'posed to be.......you know why he didn't make it?..... heh...well.....listen...... jay lingy he did use to become real angery when a defender dared to try to get the ball from him....of course they never could but... but Philly he ....... once he managed to touch the ball while Lingz was on it....yeah toepoked it.......lingo, well, he didn't appreciate that.. . .... usually ling used to take it easy in training.......but after that... he'd let Phil have it......and oh boy.......humiliating......Jess liked to make him crawl....yeah all fours....once while Philly was on the ground he stepped on his fingers, crushed them........MAKE ME A FUNNY FACE! You could hear the sound of fingerbones crackling as Lingard pressed his studs harder and harder. Phil was contorting his face in unimaginable ways, hoping to please Jesse enough to let go. Jesse finally released his hand but he was not done yet... Before Jones could stand up Jesse kicked him as hard as he could in the belly....... PLAY DEAD!... Jones collapsed in fetal position. But he could not play dead as he was shivering, struggling to hold in his vomit. PLAY DEAD!!!...and another forceful kick. Jones barfed. BITCH! LICK IT UP CUNT! LICK IT UP AND MAKE A FUNNY FACE!....... GOOD BOY! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! YEAH FUCKER! WHEN YOU'RE DONE WE'RE DOING A REPEAT! ALRIGHT??..... SAY YES MASTER!...yes master........THANK YOU MASTER JLINGZ...thank you master jaylingz.....THUD - another kick, right to the head.....jesse pulled a leash out of his back pocket and put it on Phil's neck and walked him around the training ground....dragged I should say........this went on while everyone was watching......they were saying amongst themselves.....yeah serves him right for trying to ruin jesses confidence by taking the ball from him........and that was that for the new maldini....that was that...... Chapter 3 can you blame kids for ...wanting to be like the big boys....heh...kids see the boys (in da hood) draw beautiful graffiti on buildings.....kids try to do the same.... it's always dumbass garbage but they try....kids hear the big boys discuss movies and music.....they try.....they reveal how.... heh....how retarded they are.....but they try..........kids see the big boys have sex...they try....you see kids kissin at the bus stop it's always funny.....funny or angering, if you never kissed at the bus stop....well I haven't either but I'm above that children stuff now....heh.....but anyway....... it's part of learnin yeah.....the overly loud smooching....i kinda want to go up to them n slap em.... in their gay faces....but anyway........kids see jaylingz play.....they.....heh...... they don't try imitatin this time..heh.....even the dumass kids can see that big Linny is inhuman...... the way he....heh....tricks the fullbacks..... impeccable technique.....majestical....... ahhh so good how he controls the ball......weaves webs around the pitch....the defenders they get caught up in it.....thr web cast by raw potential......and then my boy...the spider....he....he ignores them....like....heh..... you ain't even worth eatin, fly......ima go get the big one...big one bein' the goal.....see the goal....the way i imagine it......i imagine it is this big fly....with strings attached to its legs.....on the other end.....lesser fly's...to them attached other flies... depending on the formation.......1-2-2- 5......1-4-3-1-1-1...... it's the number 1....to get to the big fly.... your web needs to catch the lesser ones first.....jessy catches them all.... no problem......he eats the big fly....couple of times a game in fact.....the lil kids....they know the fly ain't for them....and they don't try....those who do..... end up getting caught...better stick to graffiti kid..... These are the thoughts I think...as i wait...the painful passing of the hours before a match....i take a sip...mm beer.....lineups should be announced...i open a website on the net to see,....jesse....my boy.... he's there....i start to take a sip from my beer.....yeah i love beer....heh...even got beer belly and ass....but as I lift my hand up i feel an invisible force....yeah i feel something stopping me...... I can't take a sip...huh....i feel him in my veins... Jesse's at the wheel...he controls the firing of my neurons....he uses them to create an image in my head.....i see the words 'no, friend. do not harm your health with this poison.'....white font, red background of course....below the words appears a sign....something like this _ImmI_ ......I notice my hands are also forming the same sign.....wow so powerful.... so caring.......jessy is so caring...he didn't want me to ingest....poisonous substance..... jesse stands me up...... i receive a message from him....time to watch, game soon..... _ImmI_.....i begin....heh you won't believe me...but I begin to...left n right....up and down...started slow but its become super fast....my atomic energies.....my electrons....i feel them shifting.....i begin to become incomplete.....i am shaking so fast i must have looked like a blob.....a violent cloud of molecules.....i cover the whole room now... apartment...... suddenly.... suddenly blackness.....and even more suddenly.....blinding white light..... deafening white noise......a little red.....the noise....i know what the noise is.....cheers.....i see....i am at old Trafford....the studium of man Utd......jesse has taken me to see him.....i receive a message......enjoy.. _ImmI_ ......my hands form the sign again....i notice everyone in the stands is doing it as well....we are one.....i regain control.....jesse has taken me to see him play.....and i didn't even pay for a ticket... Chapter 4 My boy jay-o he......was out with three (3) of his friends.......i was there too....they and me we....went to.... heh......a restraint.....oops haha......i meant........ yeah......a restaurant.......they n me sat on the table....yeah and they n me were gave by the waiter a bunch of menus to look at.....you know.....pick their poison.......heh.......jesse lingz when he was looking at his menu he wasn't actually seeing it as...... he was ......deep in thought...as they say..............how come......he must have thought.........i am so much more talented than the others?......how come i am so much farther ahead? how come i score the fakin'gest goals......what makes me so....special?........ suddenly it was time to order.......the waiter somehow knew to look to jesse first....he felt his raw enery....young jessy he was.......a radiator....of energy....young jesse..... it's like god himself was moving the chemicals in his brain.....the rest of us left to chance.....such potential......................,.... I'll have..... vegetables...........the waiter smiled.....he knew......he took down the order and looked to the others n me........... I'll have.........eh.... i don't remember what they and me ordered......... might as well have been.......a bunch of sand.......boiled shampoo bottle........with herbs.......toilet paper with stains.........jesse went deeper in thought.......i tried to intercept his brainwaves...and i did manage to.....but.......yeah just one second of his intense brain signals was enough to knock me out.....as far i know i....heh...i collapsed on the table in front of everyone........but i don't remember this....what i do remember is................ I am on a road.....going straight ahead........i look to the left.... suffering........and to the right.....pain....... looking behind.........death.........i turn to face forward again.......i see.....up the road........jay lingz......my boy.......i start walking towards him.....i see he's shooting balls.....yeah he was shooting them into the realm of suffering......each time he shot a ball....yeah.... another ball fell down from the sky.....jesse he......he always controlled them perfectly..... such skill......to think he isn't even fully developed yet.......a small egg.....soon he will become a horse.......a blue trash bag appeared in my hand.......i threw it into the trash....i am now in an elevator..... moving upwards....there is a gloryhole.....i peek through........i see..... jessy.....jessy........ he is climbing an mountain....only equipment was.....a full kit.....i shout out to him....hey jay...... woosh.....i am back on that road.....mid earthquake.....i feelt sent back in time.......jessy is gone.... but i feel his presence far ahead.... he's always been ahead........ahead now is a building...big.....yeah...dark......giant square of despair.....inside there are test tubes....a feeling of dread and doom.....feel also....a feeling of.....worsening......i observe around me......the tubes they are labeled......on the labels it says....young talented footballer number 711....number 577.3....number 913...also number 115...full of numbers....333...numbers like the matrix......another label.......bought on {date}....i am becoming overwhelmed with feelings of impeding doom..... and something unpatriotic................,...................,,,suddenly loud crashing noises acoust my ears......i see soccer balls flying.... crashing through the tubes....wooshing....by my ears.......jesse he takes my arm....not saying anything......but im glad....happy.....he has saved....me...... jesse instantaneously has taken me to this new place....a farm of sorts i reckon......i see children kicking balls about on a big authentic grass pitch.....pristine.......jesse he's standing next to me.....smilin.......he...heh.....puts his hand on my shoulder.......he says......all natureal........and winks......... everything goes white........i awake.........i am at the dinner table......they boys are surprised i woke up.....heh...turns out they've been slappin my face for an hour and i wasn't wakin up and theyd given up.....bout to call the nine eleven......but jesse had said don't worry.... he'll wake up....they listen to the boy......true leader.....despite being so young......the waiter comes with oure orders........ I don't feel like eatin shitstains anymore.....i say to him.......can i change my order?......... yeah no problem..... I'd like.....heh..... vegetables......waiter smiled....all natural?.....all natural......... Chapter 5 went to a japanese food place today...ordered some....heh.... spaghetti..... yeah with the tomay- to sauce.... I'm sucking them in and thinking....heh that sounded kinda gay..... I ain't gay......yeah anyway....what gets my attention is that after i was done..heh.....i catch myself drawing portraits of jay lingz in the leftover tomayto sauce...yeah i'd-a been drawing his face.....his strong cheeks that......yeah that reek of potential ability unrealized....i see the waiter lookin at me funny yeah....but what does he know.....of infinite potential?.....he must learn....i go up to him...young looking guy.... probably 30.....i go up to him holding my plate....show him the tomato sauce portrait....when he sees it he will know...the power....of talent...........he is nervous when he sees me coming.....but when I show him the plate....he is...englowed..... by the exalted tomato sauce...his face lights up....a little bit red due to...heh... circumstance....he says....i see....let me grab the ketchup bottles......he returns with a crate of ketchup.... doesn't say anything but i know what i need to do....us talent appreciators....we talk to eachother...heh... without talking.....feel eachother.....i take two ketchups...he as well....we begin spraying the ceiling....no aim needed....jesse knows what to do...soon the ceiling is a portrait of young jay esse...almost lifelike in its quality...red like his allegiance......everyone in the restaurant is englowed....we begin to chant....we are here physically but spiritually we are in the realm of gods.i lokk around me now and see...clouds...harps...bird flying...it is white bird..white like innocence...jess' innocence..heh...now..... well now i see the god of talent appreciation approaches me...he touchs my shoulder.....ouch......yeah and he says....you saw through jessys worldly veil....you are now blesst..........i am teleported to my room....i see on my computer...on the desktop...a glowing folder....contains....heh....contais video files....heh... it's videos of every touch of the ball jesse has ever taken....also a text file with vouchers for jaylingz merch......i am blessed truly....thank you God of Talented Youngsters......i browse through the folder....i watch... best few minutes of my life......and then out of the corner of my eye i see....yeah.....a hidden folder....heh.... can't escape me..... nothing can't......i click...heh... yeah i click the mouse button for the folder to open it...and.... yeah and i see.......i see a file linkin to a website and of course i open it.... it is indeed as they call it - a webpage or web page depending on how... heh....old...you are.....and inside...a yellow web page with a video player.....on the player.....wew....on the player....... I can't not unbelieve it......a live stream of jessy....what he's doing right now.....we are so far and yet connected....i am with him.... he's playing keepy uppy by bouncing the ball from the wall.... I'm thinking wait.... wasn't there supposed to be a match...the spaghetti... what happened.....look at the clock jessy says...320 kbps variable bit rate audio stream...almost perfection....probably in the future they will upgrade it...the technology is still young....anyway i check the clock...heh... it's 4 am....i remember now in the folder there were highlights of this match....i was so overtook i didn't notice it was the one i was going to watch before....going to the better place...... jessy had scored 5 goals as usual and 10 assists.......and yet he isn't resting..... ain't no rest for the young and talented as they say....guess that's how he got so good...and also why he will become the best...the belloon dor...belongs to....jessy......JESSY.....lingard...... Chapter 6 Hmmm lets see..... jaylingz thought and said while coldly calculating and analyzing his next opponents' plays......they are using advanced pattern tactic combination for ultra penetration.........the three players closest to the player with the ball .....excluding the player who is....heh...closest.....execute this complex dance of movement to....heh....to set the aforementioned closest player free........and on top of that.......they are setting another player free.....let me show you what exactly happens....please replay again....................at this point the entire United Fc (manchester)....sitting in their seats in the....heh....aon training theatre......were watching with theire mounths agape.....disbelief....jess linn was able to analyze and exterpolate all this from a single showing of a replay........he never seemed surprised or impressed like the rest of his teammates and staff.......stoic.....heh......he only needs to see an attakc once to completely figure it out.....such football iq......500....never seen before......even frank 'the lamp' lampard wasn't this bright....and that guy was...heh....high wattage lightbulb.....if you know what i mean....heh...........jessy shone as well in the otherwise dark theatre.......it took 10 explainings even for the coach to see what jessguy had seent from the first replay.........heh.......team is indebted to him........as, as you see, tomorrow is the champion league final..........jecci he has more to say........here lads the striker makes a 360 doubl degree turn ......feints 5 players..... such coordination......but he's old now........ anyway..........it was now 5 minutes before the game and jess-ball was still explaneing......one of the other starters......obviously a dumb guy ......dumb hair.......shut up jessy he said..... everyone looked back at him.....eyes wide....such indignation........the driver Ole immediately removed that guy from the team sheet......go.....you are sold, friend.......... also the teammates tripped his legs when he was on his way to leaving.....heh....fun sights......team in good mood......just what is needed........... and now it's time to........play.....heh......kick off as they say......jessy takes it.....,..jaysse is the beginning.....but instead of kicking it backwards like you're...heh.... supposed to do..... he just started...believe it or not.....dribbling forward...such fast player he is......ref let him do it cause why not.....its the jess show......he directs the kino.....he composes the piece....we watch and listen....and we are rewarded yeah.......but he didn't score......though it was on purpose....heh....so the bad guys wouldn't be mad.... shit movie if the good guy wins..... without struggle.....but....heh.....anyway......the bad guys have the ball now.....jesso messo sees the start of the unfolding of the complex pattern......a sure goal against lesser opposition.......they start the movements.... the brilliant play that got them to the final.....but jessy signals.....JmmL......the team knows what to do.....attack disrupted.....attackers dazzled.....its like the United players could see into the future.......well we know for sure at least one does....heh..... that's what he does....jessy......the reds are lucky......and his nordic ancestors.......must be smiling in valhalla .....heh... and from then on the opponents never left their half ...for the rest of the match.......well jayssy took home the match ball....and the trophy....they gave the silver to him.....but he didn't care.....yeah threw it in the trash..... heh.....but not the ball...... at home he was looking at the ball...yeah staring at it.....looking at its fine creases...heh....you can't see the needleworkings.....jessy appreciated the craftsmanship....he had a fine eye for the craftsmanships...... appreciated the artistry....had an eye for that too..... takes one to know one after all.....ahh....so perfectly round even after many minutes of kicking....yeah they kicked the ball.....do balls deserve such punishment he thought...... suffering and pain.....being kicked so much......J felt concern....are you okay ball? ......no jesbro....am not..... well then can i do anything for you my round friemd?......heh....the ball smiled......well there is one thing.....its smile faded......jessboy......kick me one last time....yeah one last kick jesy.....kick me out of this earth.....where no ball has gone before......i will spend...... eternity....floating......yeah..... through the cosmos....the infinite (or finite) unknown.....a large space....that is empty.......hmm but won't you be bored ball?..... won't you.....miss me?......maybe i will miss you Jayjay......but i want to go....i will see the stars.....the moons....the asteroids and......heh....i will finally find out what lies beyond......well if that is what you wish to know,ball bro.....i can tell you right now, as i know the answer........nah jaylingo my dingo.......heh.... don't tell me......finna find out for myself..........both said heh at the same time.........after a minute of silence jessy took the ball into keepy uppys.....did a few.....he could go forever btw....... and finally he volleyed the ball as hard as he could......to send it upward.....to send it on its quest for knowledge an understanding.............................. but alas it wasn't meant to be........jesse kicked too hard.....sent the ball to the.....heh......other beyond......and then jess felt remorse........guilt.....for the first time.........and....heh.... for the first time..........................he shed a tear.... Chapter 7 psshhh...psst...tschshhht.....tkss..vrooom....beep.. ....he emerges..... thousands of years of cryosleep....frozen in special science-made liquid as well as in....heh....time.......he emerges.....as young as ever......but also......old......jesse lingard.....the ultimate footballing being....is being called up.......yeahhhhh................the ultraboy.....the megaguy..........the scientists go through the procedures....they are checking the vitals....if everything is ok.....jessy speaks......time to score sam fakin gols....heh...he walks off the cryochamber...drags the wires n shit with him...he sees... a ball in the corner of the lab......yall see, the scientists they....used it to play keepy uppys yeah.....but they could never do more than 5...nerds....jessy he does a million.....in one second.....why were they defrosting him you ask? we'll you see....personchester red (this is how they are...called now.....well they are in a crisis situation....they are about to be relegated from the Barkley's (the big football legend of Everton) Premier Super League.....see there is a penalty shootout......and if the reds miss theyr penalty they would be relegated....and that means....death by the xxl meatgrinder.....heh....but the manager Oletron...not worried.....has a secret weapon.....and it is about to come on.....jessy......he knons whats happening intuitively ....he finds the lab exit which leads to....heh....you won't believe me....but it leads to a hatch in the stands....jessy comes out.....informs the roboref that he finna take the penalty.....ref lets him do it cause.....even as a robot he feels there finna be cosmic consequences if he doesnt...... jessy.......jessy.... he's about to shoot.....the goalkeeper he takes up the whole goal...big lad...jessy shoots..........,.heh.....and after that he's back inthe cryo....awaiting to pounce again...... don't bother him with minor shit....heh Chapter 8 I am reading a book.....i encounter....heh...a word.....yeah a word I don't know the meaning....of......i look up 'janitor' in the dictionary.....hmm...a type of personnel that cleans, usually paid.....well now i need to look up personnel......hmm someone who is employed......i look up 'someone'.....a person that exists in the universe.....i look up person.......a man or a woman in the human society.......i look up 'man'...... it's a picture of jesse lingard.....now I understand.....jessy needs to exist or else there would be no.... heh....model....that God models man after.....to hunanity....jesse is central......now i.....i...hmm...the word i should be replaced with....j....makes more sense that way...anyway.....j go out in the streets now to take a walk and ponder....this insight.....and whenever j look at some person.....j see jesse....all is clear to me.... like a floodlite was shone from my face.......j see a superstore....the pinnacle of society.....crown jewel.....j decide to shop inside.....some tomatoes....and cucumbers yeah....n some feta cheese....this is what j will eat tonite....hmm maybe also a potato....but they are so high up....j am short and j don't know if j will reach.....the potato....i...oops j mean...j stretch....j can only get my fingers on the potato.....it wobbles....oh no......the...potato.....begins to fall....j am resigned to my fate of ..heh..a..loser who....dropped a potato....j close my eyes and await the sound of splat.....but j hear nothing....j look......the potato has landed....heh....on the foot of.... Jessy Lingard....he has first touched it perfectly....he around-the-worlds it into my shopping basket.......thanks jeyball.... don't worry bro....heh......the universe protects those who stive to understand it....... j blink..... he's gone......but j still feel his presence.....yeah now j feel it everywhere... he's even here now... helping me type Chapter 9 I guess when you work with people you...heh...get to know em......they may even... become your friends......jesse lingard he would walk to training with a teammate.... sometimes staff.... that's the kind of lad he is..... they would talk.....joke...heh....regular friend stuff.....but something's on his mind today thought big D James as he was sipping..tea...yeah they r allowt to have tea on the pitch......yeah jayboy ain't himself today no, no.....see, big D he had a real good intuition for this sorta stuff......he could usually tell if someone done stepped on a banana peel this morning and slipped....or stepped on a pin and his heel hurt...or maybe hit his head on the sink while washing his hair....heh...and got some soap on his nose...yeah soap looks cute on a nose....like milk on the moustache....heh....but i digress..... point is....you cant hide anything from DJ.... but you don't want to anyway.... he always finds a way to make you feel better....heh...forget your troubles.....a boy with a soothing touch.....but that morning for the first time.....well....he doesn't know!....he can't tell whats goin on with jessy....jessboy's smile....it usually lit up the entire training compleks but now.... darkness....clouds.....yeah....DJ goes up to him....whats wrong jlingz...he dows the sign JmmL....but jay-o doesn't return the gesture like he usually been used to do..... can't you tell, big D?....nah jay...with the others it's easy....the contortions on their faces tell me all I need to know.....but your sadness... it's deeper.... it's in the heart....i am a magician with the ball yeah but I can't peer into....a man's deepest places..... then a lightning strike strikes the ground in the distance and it thunders throughout the complex...James then observes a tear...on the face of his teammate (jaylingz)..... sorry big D i didn't mean to startle you with that lightning....but I guess thats just what i do....yung jess..not only talented at scoring faking goals but also...at hurting others.....i didn't mean to do it danny boy....I didn't mean to make him cry...make who cry jessy? share with me this information...the defender, danny...see i was playing as usual and then...then I notice....a grown man danny....teared up because of me...i look around and see...a some of his teammates too....they are running and water drips behind them...but i didn't mean to make them cry like little babies big D...i didn't mean to...but i reckon....its like when a player scores a rebound own goal....he doesn't mean to do it either...but the goal stands you dig...it stands... it's the only thing that matters....and the only way to avoid that goal not to play danny...to not play...... .yeah and then 10 lightnings struck at once and another 10 in succession to them...the team had surrounded jesse at that point...and the famous one...pogdab...he went and hugged jayling... rain falling....but pogdabs muscled body protected jesse from the wet...big P oggy he spoke....said...you didn't hurt them jess... it's not a bad thing for grown men to cry... it's healthy.... check youre phone's messaging app.... I've sent you a science article that proves this with peer reviewed studies.....so don't worry my friend....you helped them by making them cry...heh...they are probably thanking you right now in fact...jesse looked up to the sky.....being ensaddened he had closed himself off to the waves of energy flowing in the air....but he began to recieve them now....and he feel..signals from the men who cried.....
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