“But why isn't there any bloody flour?!?!..." If, like me, you've noticed yourself getting frustrated by the little things over the past 8 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours and 7 minutes since Lockdown began (not that I'm counting!), you may have also asked yourself "Where did that come from?..." Had someone asked me how well I knew myself when I was in my early twenties I'd probably have said "Pretty well". I'm fortunate enough to have a loving family and had a relatively stable upbringing. I'd navigated my education without too many dramas, got a job, seen a bit of the world and generally taken a couple of decades in my stride. I had no grand plans or ambitions for my future but I knew what I enjoyed, a fair amount of what I didn't, and the life that lay ahead of me held endless possibility. Now, as I creak towards my forties (please tell me it's not going to hurt too much??), if someone were to ask me that same question I'd more than likely say… "Pretty well". But whilst the answer coming of my mouth would be the same, the thoughts going through my head would be markedly different. With a broadening of my horizons and by virtue of some more turbulent life experiences I, like many others, have invested some time in actually getting to know myself a bit better. What drives my behaviour when I step out into the world each day? How do I usually react in a given situation? What is truly important to me? What pivotal moments in my life have delivered me to where I am? How do I choose to act in the key relationships in my life?... And why am I so angry that there isn't any flour left in the shops at the moment? All these questions and more. So why is it important to know yourself? Well for some people it's not. And that's ok. A lot of people will go through life mainly focused on the road ahead, without worrying too much about what's in the rear- view mirror or being tempted to lift the bonnet and have a good dig about. But for those that do, there are advantages to becoming more self-aware, especially during these unprece… (I'm not going to say it!) From a work perspective, improved self-awareness can result in improved performance. For years it's been a key focus for coaches and psychologists working with elite athletes (just pick any episode of Simon Mundie's excellent podcast Don't Tell Me The Score for examples), so it stands to reason that there are potential benefits for us all. For those of us that work in sport, we are well and truly in the ‘people’ business and an appreciation of what impact our behaviour can have on others goes a long way. I strongly believe that empathy, humility and authenticity are critical for our collective success and it's hard to have any of these without knowing a thing or two about who you are first. On a personal level, knowing yourself better can provide some useful tools for helping maintain positive mental health. I like to picture it as 'Kicking the Tyres' (*patent pending!), which is my way of ensuring that I am prioritising elements that tend to have the biggest bearing on my own mental wellbeing:- i. Exercise, ii. Food, iii. Sleep, iv. Time on my own, v. Time with the people that matter. If one of these is compromised for a while then I can survive on the other four, but I'm running without a spare. If more than one goes down then things become much harder. Lockdown has presented a unique set of challenges, particularly in the last two areas, and checking in with myself continues to be an invaluable part of my routine. Finally, an appreciation of self is an essential precursor for being kind to yourself. If you have reflected on what's important to you and you know what you respond well to, I believe you're more likely to be kind when you need it the most. If this is all getting a bit too touchy-feely then it's worth noting that even Frank Sinatra’s defiant anthem 'My Way' contained the line "For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself then he has naught." Stay with me!... Getting to Know Yourself 1. Make time to reflect - However you chose to take it, reflective time is time for you. I’m reminded of a wise lesson taught to me long ago:- You're a human being, not a human doing. Life is busy and, for many, Lockdown has been no less so. Carving out time to stop and think, to walk, to run, to confide in a trusted friend, or maybe to write down a few thoughts can really help to enhance self- awareness. When you do this, be curious; Consider situations in terms of how you are interacting with them and what you're bringing to the party, rather than simply what's going on around you. 2. Explore your personality - At some point in time, many people will have completed a personality profile (e.g. Insights, Spotlight, Myers-Briggs, 16 Personalities etc). Love 'em or hate 'em, they often reveal areas that we had not previously considered about ourselves, which is the name of the game. The important thing to remember is that these tools are designed to highlight tenancies and preferences but should not be used to label yourself or others. Behaviour is a choice. 3. Consider looking back - We are all products of our experiences. It can be tempting to think that only people who have lived through more difficult times need to explore their past. In truth none of us needs to do it, but choosing to contemplate how you have been shaped by the various events of your life can help you to navigate both your present and your future. As world-renowned researcher, author and Netflix star Brene Brown puts it, "When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending." 4. Acknowledge the whole picture - As much as we like to think that we can 'switch off' from one area of life to focus on another at any given time, in reality that's tough to do (especially when your home has also become your fulltime place of work!). Thinking about who I am and who I want to be in my life as a whole, rather than trying to box things off and deal with them separately, is something I've found extremely beneficial. If you choose to invest some time in developing greater personal insight then I wish you well on your journey. It never stops. I wonder what I'll say if, in another twenty years, someone was to ask me how well I know myself?... And good luck to everyone riding the 'Corona-coaster'! I truly believe there will be flour again. AMcS
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