Your Mother Was A Vain Woman - 11/30/19, 6:35 PM / 1 Your Mother Was A Vain Woman by GREATwarEAGLE * * Your Mother Was A Vain Woman - 11/30/19, 6:35 PM / 2 INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT An OLD MAN lays in a hospital bed. Glassy-eyed. Weak eyelids. A face of excess mileage. His body is tethered to machines that beep and support life. His SON, 40's, stands over him. Old Man stares out like he can vividly see... OLD MAN Your mother, with that blonde hair. Dying it every week. Keeping that silver out and the color in. Still spending an hour puttin' on'r face. (laughing...turns to coughing) I used to tease'r and tell’r, “Make sure you stay within the lines, hun.” (hearty laughing) She hated that. Fuckin' lines on this woman's face but I loved'r to death. First thing she did after getting the new hip—you know what she says to me? I’m drivin'r home from the hospital, “Joe we gotta stop at Duane Reade.” I say, “For what!? Already got all your pills right here!”...ya know, I got ‘em in the bag with me. And you know where she’s sittin' when I’m drivin'r home? In the back seat like I’m a fuckin’ taxi cab or somethin’. (more laughing, more coughing,) She wouldn’t let me look at'r without'r face on. Piece a’ work your mother, oh yeah. They broke the mold. He reaches over to pick up the little framed photo of his wife, a smiling woman WAY TOO OLD to be wearing make-up and a full head of BRILLIANT dyed blonde hair. OLD MAN You know she used to wait for me. Every night. You remember that? SON We all did, pop. Your Mother Was A Vain Woman - 11/30/19, 6:35 PM / 3 OLD MAN Yeah, but you, ya know, you had your baseball cards and little Jimmy down the block. But your mother... He stops, recalling things that are hard to swallow. SON Yeah what about her? The Old Man is still looking at the photograph. The Son's face grows grim--this isn't a pleasant stroll down memory lane. SON (pointed) You think she's waiting for you now? This rubs the old man the wrong way. OLD MAN The fuck kinda questions is that? SON I'm being serious. OLD MAN You're being a punk. He lets out another coughing fit. SON The cancer got her two years ago. So...what...you think she's just sitting there on a cloud, checking the clock, waiting for you to show up, like she's back at home in the living room watching Johnny Carson? OLD MAN I think--if I had a little more strength--I'd clock your fuckin' head. SON She knew where you were every night. And so did I. We all did. OLD MAN Oh yeah? Where was I? Go head--tell me. Your Mother Was A Vain Woman - 11/30/19, 6:35 PM / 4 SON Why do you think she was spending an hour every day, humiliating herself, putting on all that make- up? Huh? OLD MAN Like you know what the fuck you're talking about. Your mother, god bless her, was a vain woman. Since day one. That's just who she was. SON I had to go to school every day the teachers giving me shit because they thought I was the one smoking. OLD MAN What are you-- SON Because you had mom out of her mind with nobody to talk to-- OLD MAN You're talking about things between me and your mother--not you. The Son makes his way toward the door, getting ready to leave... SON I just wanted to make sure you understood this: She aint up there waiting for you this time. I promise you that. And after you make your trip, I want to give you the courtesy of letting you know-- you certainly don't need to wait for me. The Son leaves. And the machines beep. The End Your Mother Was A Vain Woman - 11/30/19, 6:35 PM / 5