Hi [therapist’s name], We have had one session in the past two months. I took this time to reflect. It's been about two years since we started sessions. Since then, things have improved. I can’t even remember how things were in the past. You have made yourself indispensable. I have been explaining my story for the past two years now and things seem clearer to me. This is why it's hard to write this email that is presenting an ultimatum unless conditions are met. Here are my terms. 1. Psychotic socialism. This has been a constant source of friction that has taken a toll on me. I don’t know if you enjoy the conflict but I don’t. A sample of your comments would make it look like isolated occurrences. The psychotic socialism has been a huge fraction of our conversations. It has been behind every word that you have ever uttered even if not directly related. But here’s a sample. (Some are particularly psychotic.) ● “Plans are able-ist.” ● “Success is putting your-self in a box.” ● “Society has to adjust for you” ● “Never be hard on yourself” ● Anything related to fucking inadequacy ● “Conditions are bad. Full stop.” ● “Effort is a coping mechanism.” ● “What’s a healthy person?” ● “Normalcy is not a thing. There are no normal people.” You really can’t tell me what a healthy person is, after years of psychological training? If you can't set parameters of health then how is someone supposed to improve? Buts thats exactly the goal for a socialist-feminist. No improvement. Have you heard of ‘castration-anxiety‘? I think that you might have it. And not to a small degree.(I mean that you get anxiety from not being castrating enough.) Just like for every single socialist, socialism stops when it comes to one’s self. When the sessions were price hiked I said that the hike was alot more than inflation. “I’m taken aback, [my name]. I don’t think you value me.” Then I had to explain how you are valuable. For socialists, it’s always socialism for thee but capitalism for me. I would add more quotes but most of what you say in this regard is usually a word-salad that while makes no sense but adds to the psychotic socialism that takes root in my head. That brings me to my second stipulation. 2. Long word-salad psycho-babble speeches. I mute my audio when you start this but not most of the time. Mostly, I’m hoping that you’re gona say something that makes sense though this rarely happens during your word-salad speeches. If you do this again I will point it out. This is not a deal-breaker because I’m sure that you have no control over it. But I will point it out and I will not be tolerating. Again, the word salad gets in my head even though it makes no sense logically. I end up propagandized by what-ever view-point is in your head. (Psycho-babble is me being nice. There is absolutely nothing scientific or psychological about this thing that you do.) 3. Reading my emails. I'm not stipulating that you start reading my emails (inside or outside session). You have gone on in length about how you can’t read my emails for reasons that are still opaque to me. (It was not all word salad but most of it was.) This was all during paid sessions. That was a waste of my time and yours but I’m not asking you to start reading my emails now. Your words have taken root in my head so you don’t have to take five minutes a week to read something that your client sent you that might help the whole process. You should but it’s not a deal-breaker. 4. Psychoactive substances I get that you’re paranoid about psychoactive substances. That’s fine. I think that I need a counterweight to my lack of paranoia about psychoactive substances. Just keep it in check. Alternatively, if you don’t want me to discuss psychoactive substances then I’ll stop. 5. “Therapy is just for introspection” This is not a valid excuse for questioning everything I say. This is not an excuse to never be willing to accept my words and change your point of view. This is not an excuse for thought-policing. All I do is doubt myself now. “I’m just asking questions” is not a get-out-of-jail-free-card. I know I have to help myself. But if you can start giving me advice then that would help. Not negative advice; the advice has to be “do something” not “don’t do anything and chill”. If you can’t do this then just listen and get propagandized. Keep the introspection to a minimum. Just be chill about it. 6. Final remarks. I’ve dealt with your weirdness just like you have dealt with mine. I thought that would be that fraternal thing to do. (That’s what friends are for.) Point one (psychotic-socialism) has gotten to be too much. You have been exhibiting it for years now. I am at a milestone. I'm gona get a job in a desired field after being a neet for years. I also have health issues and can’t fight against your constant discouragement and complete lack of any encouragement. Maybe I’ll continue the conflict after I’m cured of my physical illnesses. But I'm old and tired of arguing and I'm tired of being thought-policed and tired of being discouraged. I’m just tired in general. Coming back to the point about explaining, people are actually supposed to go out and do something after explaining and explaining for years. We have to set new goals now (if that’s not horribly able-ist). I don’t know if you impose these awful habits on every vulnerable person that comes to you and I don't care. I just can’t handle it anymore. Femininity has it’s toxic elements. You do exhibit almost all of them to an extreme degree. (You don't deliberately misunderstand my words though. That’s one glaring exception.) I would rather not stop therapy. These conditions are not set in stone. I'm willing to compromise. I don’t see any other way to change your behaviour apart from setting an ultimatum. Maybe you’ll terminate me after reading this. I’m taking a chance. Let me know what you think.