[...] “ YOU ” create a vacuum, so “ I ” am forced to find power within myself, rather than rely on the finite power that exists outside of me, which is unevenly distributed depending on where you are in proximity to it, ie. the power is unevenly distributed, the power is asymmetrical, the power is skewed. if we look at the graph, you are a point (-1,0) and i am a point (1,0) — we are the in- verse of each other, but still relatively the same. we are mirrors; the same image, look- ing at itself, unable to perceive any apparent difference between disembody / inside body. the body dialectic — constantly flipping, unable to escape our dynamic, unable to be collapsed. [ ... within every action, there is an intention, waiting to be seen. you breathe into my mouth because you are waiting to be seen. as a point in space, i cannot see. i can only feel the white space surrounding me [the emptiness] [the violence of my own existence] a puncture in the skin of space. [ a wound ] [ a ruptured yet totalized whole; a gash in the center of my body, bleeds only in the symbolic ] a sharp, stabbing pain wakes me in the dead of night. i can’t move without crying out, like a dog. we are walking towards each other on a plane. you are a point (-1,0), and I am a point (1,0). two points cannot occupy the same coordinate, so we never meet; we merely create a line. [ a shallow slice in the skin of space. ] from my quadrant window, i watch people walk in straight lines until they disappear from my vantage, while i pray for relief. ... ] MAYBE you didn’t disempower me, you manufactured harm and you sold it to me; OR you didn’t really sell it to me, i bought it from you and in turn you became (non)human. something is skewed — the agency or the harm, affectedly coupled. *** the ones......who have............................enacted violence....................onto done to......you aren’t really human.........that done to you......done to me..........and in that moment.........you are no longer human......you are a site object........a destination..... ......the place where.....something is going..............to happen.............and so......... violence......only exists..........when it’s happening........but it’s happening is forever.... .......and it’s.....happening......sometimes to find your pulse......your throat is.......too new.......place hands.........over chest..........beating heart.........we can listen to each other breathe.........as long as we don’t exist........in the same time.....and place......... are you equally dehumanized in the act of dehumanizing me? does your body turn into a weapon as my body turns into a destination for violence? [are we both] necessary parts in a violent apparatus, unable to exist without the other? are we relational, ie. are we only [ constructed as ] (non)human, if we occupy the same time and place? i create you, you create me, as our bodies collide the wrong way. our heat collides, resonates, and so it gets bigger, and we might become MORE REAL what is a REAL person? the space between us is called ESSENCE ; the background defines the subject while the subject defines the background...the two create each other, just like we do. [ ... we create ideas of time and space, we are never closer to something or farther away from something else. simple location doesn’t exist anymore; only boundary, system, surrounding. SEPARATION; FROM THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN — you look into my bedroom window with an infrared camera to make sure i am still there...even if there is a wall between us, we both become real when you knock. [ when i am alone, i am without. i fail to exist; i can only be theorized. i become an abstract form. when i am alone, you are without. you fail to exist; you can only be theorized. you become an abstract form. this is not human. ] ... ] you say........because i said so........you say.......sooth say................i say............... ............say my name...............but you won’t say it..........your mouth holds the last exhale of somebody now absent.......alive from the past........and you refuse to let this breath escape........for fear you might also experience extinction....carefully........steady now......you tongue.....you tongue......you tongue.............but you feel nothing......... after i breathe my breath is no longer mine. if my breath is inside of you then it’s yours. if you say my name and my cochlea catches the sound of you speaking, can my name, and subsequently my ontological framework, finally be mine? is this agency? *** an absence is just as important as a presence — but how do i describe a lack without also delineating what’s missing? you and i are constantly going in and out of existence; we multiply, and we are deposited into separate bodily modalities that stratify theory, form, materiality. [ i fear permanent reconfiguration. i fear becoming limitless, and therefore entirely nonexistent. visibly different, i fear visible difference. ] do your joints also ache when you unlock psychic pain? my body is reduced; stuck inside the reverberation of violence that happened long before my flesh was carved from the earth and later harvested. my body is a memory — a container in which to store information — is it my body? how do i become an autonomous agent if my body belongs in/to time and space? if it is historically constructed? [ ... WE BECOME DISTANCE — the boundary that separates me from all things that surround me is gone and i can become anything. my shape is finally released from its container and my particles bounce and scatter across the universe. somehow i am gone but also everything all at once. i look at myself in the mirror (“ YOU ” ), unable to perceive anything other than indistinct shapes existing on a plane. i am able to feel myself becoming thinner; a purulent wound is being sutured and begins healing. [ boundless and unrestrained, i am boundless and unrestrained, and need to be sewn shut for fear of infection. ] ... ] somehow all at once....the near future....the distant past....never reified in the now..... TO CATCH is an opportune moment....harnessed....straddled in the apparatus....and transformed....EVOLution.......when we were.........keeping...........holding onto...... who was ready......we all know you’re good.....but you want everything........holding onto both....you can’t go very far with either....a marked position.....a combination...... axis cut across.....through us......you’re not free until......everybody else is...together we are vectors......each one direction......one magnitude...........living documents...... biting each other..............in order to............transmit information............................. “ I ” want to be seen, but when “ YOU ” look at me you can only perceive yourself; i can only see myself. i am both evil and good and so is everybody else. when we enter the victim / perpetrator dynamic, we become all good and all bad and so we are dehumanized. we fall inside of the abject; you are horrible and i am pitiful. both creatures without auras. our bodies the same, the same violence enacted onto them over and over again; beaten until we fit the molds assigned to us. when we are stuck in this theater, we are so far away from the ideal, we are seen as unnatural. when we access our virtual body, we have the magic ability to conjure something more powerful than ourselves — the excess energy generated by our interaction is contingent on our collected impetus. we create a potential system of flows similar to rocks or rain; uninterrupted, we flow together, we resonate and become harmonic, instead of being trapped inside a rigid cycle, power dynamic, or trauma bond, which only continuously diminishes our freedom a series of becomings, a horizon unable to be inscribed, unable to be folded by distance, symmetry / asymmetry, or form; an unlimited potential for connection, activated only in relational space: is there a you vs. me? what right do “ YOU ” have to make that distinction? [ when we are two points on a plane we create a line; when we are two resonate waves we collapse time & space. ] [ a harmonic series ] [ we are more than human, we create a higher power. ] [ ... “let’s talk about you and me” “like earlier i heard you” “something quietly about beside’s there’s a shower” “now i’ll tell you in me that you are arranging” “you know you see me more” “distant then i really am.” “it does make it easier.” “i can tell distance makes you feel guilty.” “if you close your eyes and leave your palms open and out...” ... ] *** IT IS TAUTOLOGY — right now, i am carving into time and space in order to exist, and therefore creating an index. if my existence requires an index, then i exist only/within semiotics. this means i am made out of language; i am a poem. the space between two symbols creates another symbol in its wake. my body cannot exist at the same point in time and space as your body. your body is also made out of language; you are a poem. no matter how hard we try, our bodies will never intersect. there will always be space between us. this space is made out of language; it is a poem. our relation(ship) — when we embrace we are writing poetry; we are giving birth. [ ... i can still be touched. once, i loved somebody so much that i did not want space to exist between us. i thought, the physical boundaries of our bodies should no longer exist, and we should merge together to become one. i know now, the ineliminable margin between us was a poem about obsession. poetics = space. [ your desire is ideology; once filtered through the machine and a constructed desire is imprinted onto your surface; if nobody is exempt then how do you know what you want? ] [ two desires create another desire in their wake; the space between these desires is sought after; this space creates more desire; this space is a poem; all space is sought after because it is poetry. all space is sought after because it is ideology. ideology is poetry / poetry is ideology. ] poetics = space ... ] your eyes meet across a crowd............one eye says this will take a lot of thought........... the other eye says i want you to experience this...............pleasure.........pristine.......i’m psychic........how do we meet................i go home with you..................ok...................you fix my porch rail at.....6 in the morning it’s ok we never went to bed.......two subjective experiences combine.........to create dissonance...............i’ll never be able to be inside your body............but you can be inside mine............how do we solve this......ok..........i stick my fingers in your mouth...but its not that satisfying........how do i make you how do you make me do what..................you know..............things for me................in the future you have an idea and i don’t like it.....you said well you can have it anyway......... well you can have it............initially.....initially......our eyes catch light......so we can see the other.......but...the voice is so telling...........the voice is so telling.........i know the god in you.............i hope you know.........the god in me..................i’m in the house and.......i’m in the house and...............i am moving in between myself and my lover......i am moving in-between the death of myself and my lover............not because as soon as i let anybody love me they die.....or because as soon as i let anybody love me i die.........or because as soon as anybody leaves me we both die....but because we are really dead..........like really......dead.........and when......and when......i open the door.....it’s light blue....................................................................................... do “I” exist only in relation to “YOU”, or am i constructed by a constitutive outside? POINT OF CONTACT — the harm creates me, and you create the harm. what makes me myself is what i am not; i am not you. there is no untangling our construction, we are together forever. [ ... “that’s what happens when you go to heaven” “you deal with it.” “one day we will reanimate next to each other” “and we will come to the same conclusion —” “well you will say: i see now, there is no such thing as blame or fault.” “and you’ll say: there was never really any no sense of causality it was just a game.” “then we’ll laugh for a few hundred years while we plan our next life together” “who we will be when and where we will meet again” “what we should learn this time.” “maybe we can be two mountains next to each other” “or maybe two butterflies alive for only three summer nights” “or maybe two tectonic plates that separate over a period of millions of years” “and then we will learn what it really means to greive the other.” “I think that would be nice.” ... ] *** ONE POINT IN TIME — the “now” is highly unstable, impossible to catch. The myth exists as an opportune moment; one point can be straddled into the machine, and transformed into power. “ TIME ” can never be reified; there is only a near future, and a distant past. “ TIME ” is a wave, an oscillation, a uniform disturbance. we are stuck in its propagation — there is no “ FAST ” or “ SLOW ,” only a temporary human structure, in where opposition is struc- turally necessary in order to produce SENSE/NONSENSE , VALUE/ANTI-VALUE