Structures An anthology series Introduction Structures have always been a huge form of inhibition and constraint for me. We as the human race have built and nurtured structures around our existence, built societies, rag- ing civilisations and everything within it has a structure of its own, but is that how we are supposed to lead our lives, educate our- selves, to conform to the biases of structures created by someone else for a larger group of people? I feel as if the primary constraint of our consciousness is our very own body and our mind is in a constant strug- gle with the body to break out since birth, and the body imitates the mind’s struggle into the real world. In order for me to capture this in- ternal and external struggle with structures and constraint, I have come up with an anthology of short streams of consciousness, almost like flashes of memory. The antholo - gy is a growing piece of work with more streams of consciousness add- ed either through me or not, either way, I hope to highlight the strug- gle that our mind endures and have tried to capture in fleeting streams of consciousness. The verdict Perched upon the side of the bed, I sat in silence awaiting the mail that would conclude it all, the anticipa- tion, the struggle, my entire life was hanging in balance. If not for this then what next? Can’t be held up in this place for any longer. It chokes me on a daily basis, with every breath I take I could feel the noose slowly inching into my neck, I could feel each and every strand knit into the noose seep the life out of me. Don’t get me wrong, I realize that I chose this for myself, I understand that this place has uncovered layers of my own self that I didn’t know existed, but, would that be an apt reason to stay back? To not move forward? To remain loyal to a cause that has started feeding off of me? I say no! This is not what I signed up for. I am a human after all. It’s in my very nature to wander and won- der. Why do you cage me? Why do we cage ourselves? Why do I cage myself? The laptop lit up at the end of the room. There, the verdict is finally here..... Nuisance of a silhouette Staring into the other end of the hall- way, half asleep, desperately trying to keep my eyes open. Hoping that no one tries to sneak in during this ungodly hour. What a nuisance it is to be in my position, to be vigilant at all times, a minor slip might end up costing us a major backlash from the top. Day in and day out, I sit at the reception, noting down names in the register, helping peo- ple sign in and sign out, multiple names hovering around my head all day long. Oh dear lord... when will you deliver me from this lot? I miss the warmth of my other half all through the night. I crave the comfort of my humble house. But, alas! A job is a job, if I am to do a shift early in the morning or late through the night, it is all the same. For it is not I who is important but what I am trying to guard that holds relevance. Wait! Seems like something is moving at the end of the hallway, I can see a sil- houette in the darkness, damn it! It’s those kids again trying to sneak in. Blowing the whistle warning the others, I follow the silhouette in pursuit..... Clean sweep My phone has been ringing continuous- ly for the past hour. I still haven’t had the space to process what had hap- pened. It seems almost like a blur. One moment I am sitting in my office, sipping coffee, preparing for a meeting that was to start soon, frantically editing and re-editing the presentation, hoping that the meeting goes well and the next thing I know I have been fired. Everything hap - pened out of the blue, as if like a big surprise gone horribly wrong. Frankly speaking, the management was quite clean and silent about the whole affair. The HR just walked into my office, made conversa - tion for a few seconds before revealing that they have decided to let go of me keeping in mind the future of the compa- ny, that I am no longer compatible with the vision of the company and that they are deeply sorry for this but reassured me that is for the best. Dazed and con- fused, I merely nodded in acknowledge- ment. Funny how the HR said ‘they’ are sorry, not the HR, not the boss, but a collective ‘they’. It is not the human who found me incompatible but the system that governs us that deemed me so. Can I feel wronged by something that is not alive? Because I definitely feel wronged. My blinking problem The guard opened the door and there was a rush of sunlight into the dimly lit van. Hands in cuffs, blocking my eyes from the sun I step out of the van. I stood there and took a deep breath of fresh air before I was nudged from be- hind with a lathi to start walking. I mindlessly start moving forward fol- lowing the lathi wherever it went, if it stopped I stopped, if it rushed I rushed, all I had to do was follow, which I did like a trained dog. Slowly I was led into a room that was fairly huge filled with people, there were people to the left of me and people to the right. They all seemed to be busy and stressed, very stressed indeed! I looked around in search of the lathi for instruction but it was nowhere to be found. Sudden- ly, the entire room went silent and rose up in unison. The lathi was back now and led me towards some sort of an elevated chair. I was tied to the chair and given a piece of leather to bite onto. It felt strange, to be glared upon, yes... I was tied to an elevated chair in the mid- dle of the room with people glaring down on me. I had no idea what was supposed to happen next, I was never taught this back in school. So, I look around for the lathi again and it is nowhere to be found. I blinked once in confusion, I blinked twice and bit hard into the leather, I blinked thrice and never saw the light again. I guess they fi - nally solved my blinking problem that lathi was talking about the other day. Good for them, I guess. They were really stressed about my blinking problem. Brute pellet The police were extra brutish yesterday. It’s a daily tussle to be honest, with or without the protest. We have been out here for almost a month now, some with food, some without, some have been ar- rested, some have been hospitalized, but that’s how it goes I guess, we carry on, in the spirit of the protest and what it stands for. It has been quite tense the past couple of days, with everything that’s been going on, I haven’t had the time to sit and think, I haven’t even had the time to grieve. Yes, to grieve! Haven’t you heard? Democracy is dead, murdered in broad daylight. It is true, believe me, it happened right there in that huge building with pillars all around it. The ones who witnessed it happening say that it was not a murder at all but a glorified butchering of what our country once stood for. What has the country descended into? Maybe this will all end soon, maybe they will realize that not everyone has to follow one re- ligion, speak one language, worship one god and only be a part of one structure. Maybe they will realize it soon enough for it all to end, just maybe for once they will listen. A rock flew right past me and hit the person right next to me -finis- in his eye, blood gushed out and I rushed to his aid. Halfway through some- thing hit me on the head and I fell to the ground. I was just lying there on the ground, blood oozing out of my head, people running around in mad chaos, peo- ple crying and screaming for help at the top of their voice, and all I could hope for is that the police are not extra brutish today.