The decision is yours! Ways to Overcome Everyday Dissatisfaction About the Book A fulfilling life is not a matter of luck; rather, it requires taking personal responsibility and acting decisively. In his best - selling bo ok, Reinhard K. Sprenger shows how to take control of one’s own happiness. He applies the principle of personal responsibility to everyday life and demonstrates that happiness becomes possible the moment one decides to take responsibility for oneself and o ne’s own life. Sprenger’s uncomfortable theses have lost none of their validity: It is time to take one’s own desires and needs seriously. And to place one’s future in the hands of the person one trusts most: oneself. “The book is an ode to freedom.” Wirts chaftswoche About the Author Dr. Reinhard K. Sprenger is considered Germany’s foremost leadership expert. His clients include nearly all DAX 100 companies. His books *Myth of Motivation* and *The Principle of Personal Responsibility* (both published by Ca mpus), which have since become classics, brought about lasting change in the world of management. Foreword to the Revised New Edition “Do whatever you want,” said God, “and pay for it.” (translated from Spanish) Several years have passed since I wrote the first draft of this text. Years of experience with a book that reached people quietly — less as a darling of the bestseller lists, more as a recommendation from individuals who wanted to pass something important on to a friend. None of my books has moved so many people; never have I received so many emails and letters. My aim in writing was to reach people beyond corporate boundaries with the ideas I had been working on for many years and that remain at the core of my consulting work to this day. I succe eded, and I am very happy about that. Now the revised new edition. For there are people — and not a few — who experience human freedom not as a pleasure but as a burden. They can hardly wait to get rid of that responsibility which is freedom’s constant compan ion. And so they seek relief. And of course they find it — both in political philosophy and in brain research. Since both objections to freedom are very popular, I did not want to leave them uncommented. The Decision Is Yours! is a life philosophy of wantin g, in contrast to many other offerings characterized by ought. Yes, it aims precisely to shatter the fetters of “You ought!” It aims to enable a life without fear. It aims to increase freedom. It does not want to force people into the straitjacket of moral prescriptions, but to practice the upright gait of self - confident maturity. Its motto is: “I want to shape the world according to my will — as far as it is in my power.” The highest art, then, is to even want an ought. But more on that later. Given Germany ’s culture of complaining, this book seems to me more timely than ever. Above all, it answers everyday and timeless questions. Some things seem obvious when reading. But aren’t all questions simple once you know the answers? For many of these answers I cla im no ownership; some are several thousand years old. I have merely taken them up and related them to the present. With them you can do all sorts of things: discover the meaning of life, cope with heartbreak, solve parenting problems, resolve relationship conflicts, separate the important from the unimportant, see your life in a new light — in short, discover paths to personal happiness. I therefore want to frame the possible effects of this book as a warning: Caution, it could change you! Introduction Of U nexpected Possibilities Perhaps you are sitting right now in your living - room armchair or at your desk, relaxing on a garden lounger, traveling on an Intercity train, waiting in a doctor’s office ... and have opened this book. My question to you: What would you actually rather be doing right now than reading this book? Immediately, several things surely come to mind: lying on a beach in the Bahamas, strolling through Venice with your beloved, hiking i n the Alps, celebrating with friends ... Choose what you would actually rather be doing right now. Now I have good news for you: YOU CAN DO THAT RIGHT NOW! Wherever you are, you can immediately do what you actually want to do. You can book a flight to the C aribbean right now, set off on a mountain hike, call your friends together ... “That’s sheer nonsense!” you are probably thinking, “as if one could always do what one most wants to do!” And surely a hundred reasons occur to you why it is not possible to do exactly what your heart desires right now. “I can’t just leave everything standing and lying here.” “I don’t have the money for travel at the moment.” “Tomorrow I have an important business appointment.” “I have my family ...” “By the time I’ve called all my friends together, half the evening will be gone ...” — a hundred reasons, all serious and important. But it would not be impossible. If you really wanted to, you could make the seemingly impossible possible. It would just have consequences you are not willin g to accept at the moment. Perhaps you would have to drain or even overdraw your account, give up something else equally important to you, painfully persuade your partner to skip work with you, tell a lie at the office, or simply invest time and money to o rganize the party with your friends. Apparently, that price is too high for you at the moment. When we do or refrain from doing something, we compare prices. Not always consciously, but in our daydreams we ask ourselves all the more intensely: What would it cost to lead a completely different life from the one I have led so far? What would it cost to quit my job? To leave my partner? To live in another country? As if on a side track, we examine all possible alternatives and weigh the follow - up costs. Cost s that can be both material (“I will lose my standard of living”) and ideal (“I will have pangs of conscience”). We compare prices, arrive at a result — and that result is then our concrete action. What we actually do in every second is nothing other than th e result of this price comparison. We are usually not aware of the active role we play in this, and so many people experience themselves not as designers of their lives but as victims of circumstances. They become dissatisfied. Self - pity arises. Their own life train is always at the wrong station, the party is always somewhere else, the action is always on someone else’s field. And what about you? Do you sometimes feel a quiet envy when others lead an apparently more exciting life? Do you also know the fee ling of moving on worn - in tracks? Of treading water? Are you sometimes a little dissatisfied? Perhaps even more than a little? You probably know the feeling: you somehow stand beside yourself, feel as if you are in the wrong movie. You yourself are not st eering your life, but others who play a certain role in your life. These can be, for example, “higher up,” your boss, or people for whom you bear responsibility and whom you do not want to disappoint. The compulsion to earn money, the situation on the job market, worry about the children, or simply the “seriousness of life” — all this prevents you from realizing your dream of a better life. “Well, if I could choose ...” But if you go out for a drink with the seriousness of life and are completely honest with y ourself, then you must acknowledge: You chose it! You preferred the situation you are in now to others — however you turn it. You chose. A curious thought? By acknowledging this thought you decide about the freedom — or unfreedom — of your life. And thus about your happiness in life. Perhaps you ask yourself what this has to do with the freedom of your life. Well, if you acknowledge that you freely chose your private and professional situation, you can also unchoose that situation — at any time! The mere idea alon e sometimes feels like a stroke of liberation. It may sound cynical to your ears. Perhaps you are currently having trouble with your partner, or your perpetually dissatisfied boss has treated you unfairly again. Your children may be in a rebellious phase, and you have just finally given up the fight against your excess weight: “That has nothing to do with choosing!” I claim: Yes, it does. Whoever now has a “Yes, but ...” on their lips, I ask for a little patience at this point. Of course I could add sympath etic qualifications: “It is often not as simple as seemingly assumed here.” “Some decisions are complex, the consequences unforeseeable.” “There are practical constraints and blows of fate.” In short: “The circumstances ...” They have slid over our lives yea r after year like debris. Beneath them we now feel buried alive. I will address all these “Yes, but” points. For now, however, my aim is more modest: that you recognize the meaning of the expression “self - chosen,” because this is simply practical for your life. Put differently: I would like to invite you to try out the thought “The decision is yours!” and test its usefulness for your everyday life. What This Book Is About — and What It Is Not About In this book I do not want to show you how to cope better with difficulties, overcome emotional problems, adapt better, or react more flexibly. So - called “positive thinking” is not my thing either. All that may alleviate certain life situations and comfort ing cloud the problems. But ultimately such an approach remains passive and weak. In this book I am concerned with the consciousness with which you live your life. I am concerned with clarity, consistency, and the feeling of being at the right station wit h your own life train. I want to show how you can take an active role, how through active doing you can escape everyday dissatisfaction and regain control over your life. This book wants to bring you back to the helm — where you belong. I originally wrote s ome thoughts in this book for executives in companies. After I published them under the titles Mythos Motivation and Das Prinzip Selbstverantwortung, many people pointed out to me that they were stimulating and helpful not only for professional life. “This actually concerns everyone!” was a frequently heard comment. This book arose from such suggestions. In the first part it bids farewell to the everyday feeling of powerlessness and shows that you can decide. It illustrates the consciousness of choice - free dom for our daily actions and describes the consequences for our personal happiness balance. I emphasize: action. For my main thesis is: Happiness is not a matter of luck. Happiness, whatever you personally understand by it, is not something that “happens to you.” Happiness is the result of self - responsible, decided action. For this active role you need energy. Where does the energy come from with which you live your life? Where does the motivation come from to do something and to change? In principle, you can draw this energy from within or from without. You can steer your life yourself or let others steer it. In one case you are the cause, the source of your life. In the other case you react to what happens around you. Both life concepts cannot be comp letely separated, but they can be distinguished. In which area you primarily dwell is a question of your inner attitude. In the second part of this book I describe what happens when the energy comes from outside. When you let others decide. What effects, accompanying phenomena and side effects it has when others push or pull you. When you let yourself be externally steered, motivated: with rewards of all kinds, with money, premiums, praise and blame, role models, subtle bribes. I ask: What remains of our i ndependence, of our freedom, when we let ourselves be harnessed into the system of carrot and stick? And I ask: What prevents us from going our own way? When the energy comes from within — that is the theme of the third part. The question here is: What can you do to take your life into your own hands? What happens when you become active and steer your own life car? What happens when you no longer let others set your life goals for you, but instead motivate yourself and live self - determined? Which thoughts he lp you to take responsibility for the happiness in your life yourself? Which thoughts strengthen your self - confidence? And what does it ultimately mean to live decisively? When I speak about these questions in lectures, many people quickly and easily agre e with me: “Sure! I already know that!” But when I point out the consequences for their concrete life situation, they develop enormous resistance. If I even call on them to act, they wave resignedly: “Utopian!” “All just theory!” Or comes the worst of all swear words: “Philosophy!” That has to do with the fact that our mind is tuned to always be right and to consign other experiences to wrong. We “defend” our past, justify our life choices. I still invite you: even if some passages strike you as very disag reeable, don’t just set the book aside! The shock is always a recognition of reality. And those who have never been provocative have never been provoked. If you say, “That doesn’t apply to me,” you’re probably exactly the person I’m talking about. Much wi ll clear up and be explained as the text proceeds — in a hopefully encouraging and liberating way. Perhaps I can occasionally bring a smile of self - knowledge to your face. I hope that many of you will “rediscover” your life and your questions in this volume For numerous suggestions, silent hints, and thoughtful objections I am grateful to Karin Beiküfner and Britta Kroker, and above all Sabine Gilliam, who believed in this book even before it was written. Decideable The power of choosing freely A day like any other Wednesday morning. You’ve just gotten up, and the only thing waking you up is the “Good morning!” voice of the radio host hosting today’s call - in game. You could win a trip to Mauritius if you call quickly and sing the sponsor’s jingl e. In Mauritius it would be warmer. There you wouldn’t have to write the report your boss demanded be revised yesterday. And there wouldn’t be those yellow sticky notes on the door: “Pay the electricity bill,” “Take out the recycling.” The faucet is leakin g, and you vaguely remember you meant to take care of it three weeks ago. A day, neither better nor worse than most in your life. When you get home, you’ll be asked the same question: “How was today at the office?” and you’ll give the same answer as yeste rday: “Same as always.” Perhaps you once imagined a different life. But that was long ago. It happened, almost by itself. You’ve learned you must stretch toward the ceiling. You function. Only sometimes, when the car won’t start, the coat gets stuck in the car door, and the building supervisor reminds you again to close the garage, you want to shake it all off like a wet dog shakes off the rain. Mauritius, right? Besides many small things that make life hard, there are real burdens: recently, your company announced job cuts. “You know, we’re a big family here. And now the head of our family has decided: you’ll soon have to leave the nest.” Who will be hit first? What future awaits you if you draw the short straw? In these times it seems wise to stay calm an d not stand out. Perhaps a year ago you could have taken the Munich position that was offered to you. Back then you thought of the children, who you didn’t want to uproot (they had just settled, found friends they’d waited for — moving wasn’t an option). An d there was the house you bought a few years earlier and had just finished furnishing. Perhaps it’s other life circumstances that weigh on you: you rush from one obligation to another and get frayed. Your relationship has been strained for some time. The mortgage on the house must be paid. Your mother - in - law is a dependent. You don’t want to send her to a nursing home, but you haven’t taken a proper vacation in a long time. The consequences of a prior marriage. Alimony. As a single parent: cooking, laundry , child care, earning money. Maybe it also bothers you that you have given up big goals and now see your life dreams playing out in a movie. “Yes, if ...,” you begin, enumerating all the circumstances, constraints, commitments that make up the routine of ev eryday life — and you’d like to give them all up immediately. A long list? And does one thing fit with another? Until you’re convinced again that all this must be this way and you can’t do otherwise? Not because you want to, but because “the circumstances” a re this and not that. I want to take the opening idea of this book and sharpen it: you have chosen your life as it is, freely. This daily routine, this job, this boss, these colleagues, this apartment, this city, this partner (or your single life) — all of it and every other circumstance and co - occurrence of your life: you chose them. You are responsible for them. And only you. No matter what motives you had, whatever urged you: you chose it. You have decided and thus freely chosen everything that is now — and you could un - choose it again. There would be a price to pay for that as well. How high that price is, you alone decide. That summarizes our freedom to choose: - You can do anything. - Everything has consequences. Simple, clear sentences. But apparently hard to digest. To this day I have met almost exclusively people who want to do everything, but don’t want to pay the price. With every choice, however, certain consequences are bound to arise, which we select at the same time. There is no trick in the wo rld that would let us dodge these consequences. But that’s exactly what many seem to expect. And when it doesn’t work, they start whining. A wonderful gift Every ant knows what to do once it hatches from the egg. Like all animals, it has a fixed program by which it lives. It has an instinct that unblinkingly directs its response to every stimulus. Humans, in contrast, do not follow a fixed schema. Humans are free — meaning they can choose what they do in a given situation. A being with instinct acts, a human acts. Isn’t that a wonderful gift? The problem is that most people have forgotten that they can choose. They choose daily, in fact. They forget that they decide these life circumstances anew every day. That they could also un - choose them, if they wanted to, and do so for reasons they alone are responsible for. That they choose the partner who perhaps no longer awakens their passion every day. That they say yes to the boss in whom they’re angry every day. The traffic jam they sit in every morning. The club colleagues who are so dull they barely come out of the bushes — they choose them daily. Their weight they also choose daily. The salary, which is always a l ittle too low, everyone chooses on the last day or first of each month. In the example of reading this book at the outset: what you currently want to do is to read this book. If you truly wanted something else, you would do it. More to the point: there is nothing in your life right now more important than reading this book. A bold claim? Test the thought: if there were something more important, you would simply do it. You wouldn’t hesitate. You would set the book aside now. No one could stop you. So if yo u continue reading, you have weighed prices and chosen it. What your life currently is consists of the path you have chosen. There is always another way to do something. Usually more than one. Yet many cling to one method to achieve a goal or solution to a problem. They don’t even consider taking a different, perhaps personal or unique path. Instead of approaching it in an alternative way, they double their efforts. And if it doesn’t work, they give up. In the end, they give up. The choice always remains in their hands. Behind self - chosen bars “Lied you down sick” — as protesters cried out as she started her shift in Dannenberg. But she hadn’t given it a single second thought, says Tanja B. Since Friday the 22 - year - old police officer has been on duty to en sure that the Castor transport reaches Gorleben safely in Lower Saxony. That she fulfills her duty does not mean she’s convinced by her task. “If I had the choice, I’d rather protest than defend the Castor,” says Tanja B., who is on the transport for the first time. She’s sure that radioactive radiation from the six canisters will harm the surrounding area. But she has no choice, and so she must push back those who, in her view, are right. This quote from a newspaper article shows better than any theoreti cal justification how we are programmed. Tanja B. believes she has no choice (which is legally wrong), and the respected Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung confirms the poor policewoman: No choice! She is truly to be pitied! And since self - harm triggers the Sa maritan reflex in the public, the reader sighs: “What a poor soul!” The truth, however, is that Tanja B. compared prices, and the price of refusing the operation was too high. Perhaps her police career would have stalled. Probably she would have faced moc kery from colleagues. Certainly she didn’t want to be seen as a coward. All of that is understandable, and I can vividly sympathize with her dilemma. But it does not change the fact that she made a choice. She had the option, and she chose one of the possi bilities. No reason to pity her. Many employees defend, for example, a transfer to another city or even another country to their families by saying they had “no other choice.” I do not want to downplay the decision - making processes that people personally experience as a dramatic emotional roller coaster. I know this inner tension from personal experience, and I know how burdensome it is. If they have made such a decision and whatever they feel, they have given up the needs of their family in favor of the n eeds of their company. Perhaps this clarity threatens their role as a good father or good mother. After all, they want to be seen as a caring parent. It’ s natural to fall back on a familiar trick: Others will understand if they explain that they really had no choice. Yet they did have a choice. They were choosing to do something, as if they closed their eyes. On a train ride I spoke with a municipal offic ial who complained about far better pay in the private sector. I countered: “When you became a civil servant, you knew you took a vow of lifelong poverty with that choice. And you can always give up your civil service status and look for a job in the priva te sector.” “But job security, performance pressure, pension ...” “Aha!” “May I live my life the way I’d like?” You’ve done it! Even if it sounds harsh: you were not forced to live your life in the way you currently practice it. Behind it lie decisions and t hus rejected alternatives, no matter how ridiculous they might be. Whenever you start to complain about something, you have forgotten that you chose it. Price comparison “I would like to marry you,” says the woman to her lover. “Believe me, I want nothin g more in this world. But I cannot leave my husband. He wouldn’t survive it. He needs me. He cannot live without me.” Words that appear in many a love drama and that you may have heard yourself. But: Can this woman not divorce? Isn’t it loyalty to her husb and and concern for his well - being that keep her with him? Hasn’t she chosen certain values over others? All people want to lead a good, successful life. But only a few are willing to pay the price that is typically required. They’re not willing to sacrif ice. To push themselves. To put something else aside. Maybe even to break rules that tradition and upbringing have taught them. How often do we dream of dropping everything: the dull suburban life, the joyless job, the boss who doesn’t see what we contribu te, and yet constantly pressures us. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to just cut and start over? To move somewhere else, perhaps? We sense the potentials still slumbering in us and how much energy we would release if we had enough freedom. People in midlife ofte n suffer from a kind of “settling”: If nothing decisive happens, I will spend the remaining years of my life in the same old way. All decisions are made. My marriage is as it is; my career is set ... Doubt gnaws: Was that all right? Could I have achieved mor e if I had chosen differently? Is it too late to reset the course? Is this really it? Even if it sounds strange: In every moment of our lives we are free to toss everything aside and begin anew. Yet most people seldom exercise this freedom; they are unawa re of their freedom. The price seems too high. But are the consequences of a new decision really so terrible? What would happen, worst - case, if you drew a line and, for example, quit your job? Would you face unemployment? Fear status loss, a career setback ? Would you lose self - respect because you felt you had failed? Would life come to an end? Would you perhaps have to sell your car? Or what would happen if you ended a friendship with someone? If you told them outright that you want nothing to do with them anymore? Or: what would be the consequences if you did something that no one in your circle of friends or family would expect from you? Fear of losing love? That others wouldn’t like you anymore? If that’s the case, then it’s more important to be liked by others than to live your own life. Fine, you chose that. I’m not arguing morally here. I’m concerned with defining the price. No one has the right to tell someone else what price should be considered high or low. That’s a matter of personal assessment. For some, quitting their job is worth the risk; for others, it’s merely a smile of mild derision. Some people, over years, have so settled into wealth that the fear of loss becomes a forcing jacket and the freedom to choose recedes to a distant dream. Vie wed consistently: one is not willing to sacrifice comforts, while at the same time is willing to return daily to a despised workplace and be harassed. This price is paid by one, not the other. That is the decision. It could have been different. The cold s howers of life Often nothing feels harder than making a clear, conscious decision. We will hardly foresee all the consequences of our decision. We are almost always forced to choose with incomplete information. The many possibilities lie behind a sort of frosted glass. Or as the philosopher Immanuel Kant once put it: “The necessity to decide exceeds the ability to know.” Will more problems await us after the decision? Moreover we are exposed to external influences. Choosing is possible only within the law s of nature; we cannot suspend gravity. And most of us do not live alone on an island. We are social beings and need others to achieve our goals. Not least, events occur beyond our control: political, economic, health. Often we also simply struggle with th e consequences of our decisions. They are not always predictable, and certainly not always pleasant. Yes, there are the cold showers of life. “I didn’t choose that,” we protest, “that happened to me!” It may be so. In a broader sense, you have, by choosing the possibility, also chosen the consequences of that choice. Life is always life - threatening. The philosopher Martin Heidegger writes: “When a man is born, he is ready to die.” If I am crushed by a falling ceiling in an earthquake, then — and this may sound absurd at first — the choice to live in safe spaces precedes that. (Some indigenous peoples refuse to enter houses.) Or the complaint about so - called “chance” that someone was run over at the next street corner. As tragic and sad as that may be in a single case: if someone chose to participate in road traffic, they also chose to be at risk of being hit. That may seem too general. But you will hardly be able to deny the idea that you have several options for how to r espond to events. That the unforeseeable occurs may not be your chosen thing. How you respond to it, yes. The Myth of Constraints of Necessity Who’s at the wheel? Who’s at the wheel of your life - driving? You or your boss? You or your spouse? You or the money, fate, circumstances? Let “the circumstances” steer you? Or are you even the victim of a powerful international conspiracy called “the others”? Constraints of necessity seem especially well suited to give freedom a rejection. Because whoever submits to necessity ends up doing what must be done — namely living as everyone lives. After all, you don’t want to be an outsider. In fact, the path of necessity is far more paved than the path of freedom. That’s familiar territory — the security of what has proven itself. But do constraints of necessity really exist? Isn’t the claim of them more a sign of mental laziness, convenience, and a convenient excuse? My thesis is: There are no constraints of necessity. “Back then I had no choice!” they say angrily — and qu ickly others step in: family or property. Many people simply don’t realize that they chose. They assemble their life circumstances over years and decades, and then experience themselves as the victims of those circumstances. What’s true, however, is this: everything that is happening right now is the result of decisions you made at some point earlier in your life — whether you like the result or not. You may not have targeted exactly this outcome; perhaps not. Yet it is still a consequence of your earlier de cision. Maybe you made that decision without much awareness, without noticing the alternatives clearly, and that’s why you don’t regard it as a decision. Or the alternative you rejected may have seemed so absurd that you didn’t really consider it, didn’t r eally examine it seriously. But this “not really considering” has always itself assumed — that a choice already came before it, one that usually involved a decision in favor of very specific values or a specific way of life. So maybe your career choice was influenced by the thought: “With another job, unemployment later threatens me anyway.” That didn’t seem like a “real” alternative you could have chosen, because you had already decided earlier on a life “beyond social assistance.” A friend told me he had been fascinated by the sea when he was little. The ocean, the big ships, the wide world — this had a tremendous pull on him. But when he was three years old, his parents told all their acquaintances that he would surely become a doctor and take over the fam ily practice. After graduation he flirted, for a short time, with the idea of going to sea. But the news about a looming surplus of medical doctors moved him instead to simply “stick with it” and finish the studies. During the vacation by the sea, which he allowed himself after graduating, the longing returned. But when he went back and the university professor strongly advised him to pursue a doctorate, he buried his “unrealistic” dream for good. Today, with a flourishing practice, the way things turned ou t seems “natural” and “reasonable” to him. Secretly he regrets that he never tried life at sea. But he also doesn’t feel that any real decision ever had to be made. What he doesn’t see is that he did make a choice. Early on he decided not to take up the st ruggle with his parents. He chose to continue the family tradition, and with it, prosperity, social standing, and security. At the same time, he also rejected the possibility of an exciting, thrilling, adventurous life — one that comes with many uncertainti es. Nobody needs to judge that. But because he never seriously tested the alternative, he no longer remembers that he chose. For many people, the constraint of necessity simply belongs to that diagonal of success that runs from bottom left to top right. M any have furnished their security container so luxuriously that it seems almost absurd to risk it. Chains of gold bind just as much as chains of iron. That leads to the familiar “fatting of the hearts” and the bank accounts. And indeed, the price can be e xtraordinarily high from the individual’s point of view. But that’s not what I’m talking about here at all — because I do not want, in any lighthearted way, to encourage someone to sacrifice their prosperity and stability of material circumstances. The probl em is that many people are unwilling to take responsibility for the effects of their clinging, to recognize those effects as resulting from their decision, and to pay for their immobility. The more things you have, the more the things have you. Every comfort has to be paid for. And it’s not by chance that they call it “property” — it makes you immobile. So I know numerous people who are willing to endure daily devaluations and disrespect in their working lives and sacrifice their dignity and uprigh t posture — but they are not willing to give up their six - cylinder car. They decide that, every day. That is their choice. So if you say, “I can’t!,” then you don’t want to. Something else is more important to you. You don’t want to pay the price of a chang e. No one is entitled to assess the reasons for why you stay. But then the things you complain about are not really that important — at least not important enough to make you act; not significant enough to overcome the fear of risk. Let’s go to the extreme and have everyone examine themselves: Who prevents you from taking the dream job as a sailing instructor in the Caribbean? Who prevents you from making up for the lack of training, applying for work permits, checking immigration requirements? You yourself — alone. Nobody else. You don’t want to give up the conveniences of your fully air - conditioned security container. I’m not criticizing that. But don’t blame your family, your circumstances... You can opt out of all of it, if you want to. If you don’t want to and continue living as before, then do it with the awareness that you chose these circumstances. Then any basis for blaming disappears. Then any basis for “I can’t, because...” Victims of circumstances? I remember very clearly my father’s reaction when we talked about the idea of freedom to choose. In a fatherly, mildly condescending tone, playing all his life experience, he said: “You must have learned that at university. Life looks quite different.” As proof, he referred to his memory of the Nazi era: “B ack then they would have put us up against the wall.” Bang! There it was — the mega - argument I would later hear so many similar ones in my professional life (nowadays, too: “As a politician I can’t do anything there; I just follow the regulations from Brusse ls!”). The managers’ talk of spinning wheels, the excuse of the older generation — “state of emergency of obedience” — they get lost in the abyss of extreme existential threats to refute the principle of freedom to choose. Children are never entitled to evalu ate the motives of their parents. They have no right to do so. And I also have no right to criticize my father’s decision not to join resistance against Hitler. But there were people who let themselves be “put up against the wall.” It was a choice. I am no t saying that one is morally outstanding and the other is cowardly. (In this respect, we should all take a look at our own noses.) I am saying only this: however high the price may be for the consequences of his decision, my father is responsible for them. Freedom is a wonderful thing. Most of us long for it and value it as the highest good. At the same time, it terrifies many people to death — because it can also produce guilt. Let’s look, for example, at how crimes are reflected upon in modern societies. T he educated middle class traces them back to the horrors of dysfunctional family relationships, to psychological defects, and to social deprivation. Then it’s only “obvious” — they must become criminals “as a matter of course”! Things are then turned into th e opposite: perpetrators become victims. They are, from the outset, persons who lack maturity; their violation of the law is therefore — understandable, an accident. The villain then belongs to the society of the sick, the poor, and the marginalized — people who should be met with care and therapy. Just as illness today is hardly attributed to one’s physical condition and individual way of life, but rather to stress, performance pressure, or other bad powers, so crimes are decriminalized: “The circumstances” are to blame, not the criminal. The purpose of this remapping is obvious: freedom, responsibility, and guilt should be erased. By downplaying evil as psychological breakdown and by turning the perpetrator into a fellow human who has stumbled, in the midst of adverse circumstances, ultimately nobody can be held accountable for the act — except, of course, “the circumstances.” And this trick doesn’t even hold up to the simplest logical test. How many people have had similarly flawed biographies without becomin g criminal? How many people live a miserable existence without harming others? For our society, the reference to “the circumstances” has catastrophic consequences: by renaming perpetrators as victims of a biographical misdevelopment, people are invited to feel like victims themselves. The individual may ask: Don’t I also have a disadvantage because my father left my mother when I was only four years old? Didn’t I also get shortchanged because I didn’t go to university? Don’t I now, in the opposite directio n, get to hold the state, social insurance systems, “others,” harmless? Maybe some of you still remember the posters from the Cold War era: “Imagine there’s war and nobody goes.” You may have chuckled at that cheeky wording — but what is so surprisingly pro vocative here is the fact that it wasn’t generals, defense ministers, or the “military - industrial complex” that dictates war. It’s every individual who decides to take part in war. Never does “a nation” or “a people” fight. Even if it sounds very uncomfortable: it’s individuals who make the choice for or against war. That doesn’t mean I’m saying whether a war should or shouldn’t be fought. I’m saying wars are fought because individuals decided to put on the uniform and should er the rifle. Individuals — not a nation or a group of nations. The same applies to the crimes of September 11, 2001: it wasn’t Al Qaeda, it wasn’t Islam, certainly not Iraq that hijacked the planes and flew them into the Twin Towers — it was individual people who decided to act that way. The problem of choosing appears here with full sharpness. Because the problem with the pied piper is never the pied piper — it’s always the rats. As long as no resistance arises, everyone — whoever it may be — can assume that the o thers approve of their actions. Otherwise they would protest. As governments are known, they’re only as good as the people who carry them with their legs. When German historians claim that “after 1933 Germany was a ‘occupied country’” (Hans Rothfels), in w hich it was a “criminal club” that succeeded in forcing the German people “into their allegiance for twelve years” (Friedrich Meinecke), that National Socialism was “a satanic distortion of genuine German tradition” (Gerhard Ritter), then this victim role as a counter - narrative to guilt and repression is understandable in human terms — but factually nonsense. Especially we in Germany should never forget this: Never does the dictator make the circumstances; always do the circumstances make the dictator. Playt hinf of the job market ? I’ll choose a different, more rigorous example to illuminate the freedom of choice and personal responsibility: for a moment, suppose the company you worked for went bankrupt and you suddenly found yourself on the street. Imagine t he oppressive feeling of uselessness when you suddenly lose your job. All your expectations, all your plans... People complain about work until they have none left. Then what comes next is not funny at all. I’m aware of the issues involved in this topic; sti ll the question remains: Who is responsible for your unemployment? S