Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh, My dear respected parents, Welcome to this transformative course on Parenting in Islam: Raising Righteous Children in Today9s World. It is an honor and a privilege to embark on this journey with you, as we explore the timeless principles of parenting rooted in the Quran, the Sunnah, and the wisdom of our scholars. Parenting is not just a responsibility; it is a sacred trust (amanah) from Allah (SWT). He has chosen you to nurture, guide, and protect the hearts and minds of your children. This is no small task4it is one of the most profound and impactful roles you will ever fulfill. The Prophet Muhammad ( ÿ ) said: « V þQÿ ý þ Qÿ V 7P þÿ O NP þQÿ ý þ Qÿ V þ PþVÿQþÿ N þPÿ V þ PþRþüþ Rÿ » <Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.= (Sahih Bukhari). As parents, you are the shepherds of your children, and you will be held accountable for how you raised them. But do not let this responsibility overwhelm you. Instead, let it inspire you, for Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear. He has equipped you with the tools, the guidance, and the innate love needed to fulfill this role. Why This Course Matters: In today9s world, parenting comes with unique challenges. Our children are exposed to influences that can undermine their moral and spiritual development4technology, peer pressure, secular ideologies, and more. But as Muslims, we have a divine blueprint for parenting that transcends time and place. The Quran and the Sunnah provide us with the principles and practices we need to raise children who are not only successful in this world but also a source of pride and joy in the hereafter. This course is designed to equip you with practical, Islamic strategies to navigate these challenges. We will explore topics such as: Instilling moral and spiritual values in children. Managing technology and social media use. Addressing bullying and peer pressure. Teaching empathy, resilience, and effective communication. But more than just knowledge, this course is about transformation. It is about reflecting on your role as a parent, strengthening your connection with Allah, and committing to raising your children with love, patience, and intentionality. A Reminder of Your Value: Dear parents, never underestimate the value of what you are doing. Every dua you make for your children, every lesson you teach them, every moment you spend guiding them4these are acts of worship that draw you closer to Allah. The Prophet ( ÿ ) said: « O .P '7R NP/O ' P N V þRÿ V G O þQþVþPþ Pÿ Q R GR ' N V NP F P / O 7P þ Rÿ O NPþ VÿQN F P G ' R 6P' GP þÿ P V ÿ V R þ VÿPþÿ Q þþ Vþ Pþ Pÿ P þPþ Vÿ Q þ PÿP F Q G Q ' R ü F ü þRÿ V þPPÿ P /P/O: 7PþPÿP/ » <When a person dies, their deeds come to an end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for them.= (Sahih Muslim). Your efforts as a parent can become a source of ongoing reward for you, even after you leave this world. A righteous child is a sadaqah jariyah4a continuous charity that benefits you in this life and the next. A Call to Action: As we begin this course, I invite you to approach it with an open heart and a sincere intention. Reflect on your parenting journey so far, identify areas where you can grow, and commit to making small but meaningful changes. Remember, parenting is not about perfection; it is about progress. Every step you take toward becoming a better parent is a step toward earning the pleasure of Allah. Let us begin with a dua: « N þPÿ R þPÿ V þRÿ þRÿ P þÿüþ RÿR þÿ » <My Lord, grant me [a child] from among the righteous.= (Quran 37:100). May Allah bless you with righteous children who are the coolness of your eyes. May He grant you the patience, wisdom, and strength to fulfill this noble responsibility. And may He make your home a place of love, peace, and barakah. Jazakum Allahu Khairan for taking this step toward becoming the best parents you can be. Together, let9s strive to raise a generation of children who will carry the light of Islam forward. Wa Alaikum Assalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatu Topic 1: Parenting Styles Based on the Quran and Sunnah 1. The Prophetic Model of Parenting The Prophet Muhammad ( ÿ ) is our ultimate guide in parenting. His approach was not just about providing for physical needs but also about nurturing the soul, mind, and character of his children and grandchildren. Let9s explore this in depth. a. Affection and Presence: The Power of Emotional Connection The Prophet ( ÿ ) would often carry his grandchildren, Hasan and Husain, on his shoulders during prayer. When asked about this, he said: <They are my fragrant herbs in this world.= (Sahih Bukhari). Why is this significant? The word <fragrant herbs= (rayhanatan) is deeply symbolic. Fragrant herbs are delicate, beautiful, and pleasing. They bring joy and comfort. The Prophet ( ÿ ) is teaching us that children are not burdens; they are a source of joy and beauty in our lives. Contemporary Application: In today9s fast-paced world, many parents are physically present but emotionally absent. They9re on their phones, working late, or too tired to engage. The Prophet ( ÿ ) teaches us to be fully present with our children. When you9re with them, put away distractions. Play with them, listen to their stories, and make them feel valued. Example: Imagine your child comes home from school excited to tell you about their day. Instead of half-listening while scrolling through your phone, put it down, look them in the eye, and engage. This small act of presence communicates, <You matter to me.= b. Fairness and Justice: Avoiding Favoritism The Prophet ( ÿ ) said: <Fear Allah and be just between your children.= (Sahih Bukhari). Why is this important? Favoritism can cause deep emotional wounds. A child who feels less loved may grow up with low self-esteem, resentment, or even rebellion. Contemporary Application: In modern families, favoritism can manifest in subtle ways4 praising one child more, spending more time with another, or giving unequal gifts. The Prophet ( ÿ ) reminds us to be mindful of these imbalances. Example: If you buy a gift for one child, ensure the others receive something of equal value. If you praise one child for their academic achievements, also acknowledge another9s artistic talents or kindness. Fairness doesn9t mean treating everyone the same; it means giving each child what they need to feel loved and valued. c. Avoiding Over-Pampering and Spoiling While showing affection is important, over-pampering can lead to spoiling, which can harm a child9s character development. Quranic Reference: Allah says: <And do not be excessive. Indeed, He does not like those who commit excess.= (Quran 7:31). Prophetic Guidance: The Prophet ( ÿ ) said: <Indeed, Allah loves to see the effects of His blessings upon His servant.= (Tirmidhi). This means we should teach our children gratitude and moderation, not indulgence. Contemporary Application: Avoid giving in to every demand of your child. Teach them the value of hard work and gratitude. For example, if they want a new toy, encourage them to earn it through good behavior or small chores. 2. Quranic Principles of Parenting The Quran is not just a book of rituals; it9s a manual for life. Let9s explore its timeless parenting principles. a. Gentleness and Mercy: The Bird9s Wing Metaphor Allah says: <And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy...= (Quran 17:24). Why is this metaphor powerful? The image of a bird lowering its wing to protect its young is one of tenderness and care. It teaches us that parenting should be rooted in mercy, not control. Contemporary Application: In a world that often equates authority with harshness, this verse reminds us to lead with gentleness. For example, if your child makes a mistake, don9t immediately scold them. Sit down with them, understand their perspective, and guide them with compassion. Example: Imagine your teenager comes home late. Instead of yelling, say, <I was worried about you. Let9s talk about what happened.= This approach fosters trust and open communication. b. Dua for Righteous Children: The Power of Supplication Prophet Ibrahim (AS) prayed: <My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and [some] of my descendants.= (Quran 14:40). Why is Dua Important in Parenting? Dua is a powerful tool in parenting because it acknowledges that guidance ultimately comes from Allah. No matter how much we try, we cannot guide our children without Allah9s help. Additional Duas for Children: 3. <Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.= (Quran 25:74). This dua asks for children who are a source of joy and who lead others in righteousness. 4. <My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to do righteousness of which You approve. And make righteous for me my offspring.= (Quran 46:15). This dua emphasizes gratitude and righteousness for oneself and one9s children. Contemporary Application: Make dua for your children daily, but also work on yourself. If you want your children to pray, let them see you praying. If you want them to be honest, model honesty in your own life. Example: Create a family dua journal where you write down your supplications and reflect on how Allah answers them. This not only strengthens your connection with Allah but also teaches your children the power of dua. 5. Classical and Contemporary Insights Let9s bridge the wisdom of the past with the challenges of the present. a. Imam Al-Ghazali9s Perspective: Nurturing Character In Ihya Ulum al-Din, Imam Al-Ghazali emphasizes that the early years are critical for shaping a child9s character. He writes: <The child is a trust in the hands of his parents, and his heart is a precious jewel. If he is taught good and habituated to it, he will grow up to be happy in this world and the next.= Why is this relevant today? In a world obsessed with academic and material success, Imam Al- Ghazali reminds us that character is the true measure of success. Contemporary Application: Teach your children values like honesty, kindness, and patience through stories, role playing, and real-life examples. For instance, if someone wrongs them, teach them to respond with patience and forgiveness, as the Prophet ( ÿ ) did. Example: Use bedtime stories to instill values. Tell them about the patience of Prophet Ayyub (AS) or the honesty of Prophet Yusuf (AS). Make these stories relatable by connecting them to their daily lives. b. Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyya9s Insights: Discipline with Wisdom In Tuhfat al-Mawdud, Ibn Qayyim discusses the importance of balancing discipline with wisdom. He warns against harsh punishment, stating that it can harden a child9s heart and push them away from religion. Contemporary Application: Instead of punishing mistakes, use them as teaching moments. For example, if your child lies, explain the consequences of dishonesty and share the story of the Prophet ( ÿ )9s emphasis on truthfulness. Example of Unnecessary Lies: Sometimes parents lie to their children to avoid inconvenience, such as saying, <We9ll go to the park tomorrow,= when they have no intention of doing so. These small lies teach children that dishonesty is acceptable. Instead, be honest and say, <We can9t go today, but let9s plan for another day.= 6. Practical Application Let9s end with actionable steps to implement these principles. a. Balancing Authority and Compassion Parenting in Islam is neither authoritarian nor permissive. It9s about finding the middle ground. Example: If your child refuses to pray, instead of forcing them, sit down and explain why prayer is important. Share stories from the Quran and Sunnah to inspire them. b. Leading by Example Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. Example: Let your children see you praying, hear you reciting Quran, and witness your kindness to others. Be the role model they can look up to. 7. Conclusion: The Islamic Parenting Style Let9s summarize the key points discussed and coin a terminology for the Islamic parenting style. a. Key Points: 8. Affection and Presence: Show love and be emotionally present. 9. Fairness and Justice: Avoid favoritism and treat children equally. 10. Gentleness and Mercy: Lead with compassion, not harshness. Affection and Presence Show love and be emotionally present. Fairness and Justice Avoid favoritism and treat children equally. Gentleness and Mercy Lead with compassion, not harshness. 11. Dua and Supplication: Constantly pray for your children9s guidance. 12. Character Building: Instill moral and spiritual values from a young age. Dua and Supplication Constantly pray for your children9s guidance. Character Building Instill moral and spiritual values from a young age. 13. Discipline with Wisdom: Use mistakes as teaching moments, not just for punishment. b. Coined Terminology: <Tarbiyat al-Qalb= (Nurturing the Heart) The Islamic parenting style can be termed Tarbiyat al-Qalb, which means <nurturing the heart.= This approach focuses on nurturing the child9s heart with love, mercy, and guidance, ensuring they grow up to be righteous, resilient, and compassionate individuals. c. Final Reflection: Parenting is a journey filled with challenges and rewards. By following the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah, seeking knowledge, and making constant dua, we can raise children who are not only successful in this world but also a source of sadaqah jariyah (ongoing charity) for us in the hereafter. Discussion Questions and Activities: How can we incorporate the Prophetic model of parenting into our daily lives? 1. What are some practical ways to balance discipline and compassion in parenting? 2. How can we use technology to instill Islamic values in our children? 3.