A month before my disappearance Warning! This message is super long and some sentences are meaningless. I was sad don't judge me harshly :) @ I wrote congratulations a month ago and this month I realized that this is not all I wanted to say. So, I decided to write this PostScript. (What kind of jerk would even write a whole letter PostScript? :) ) @ I thought of writing a couple of lines, but I realized that I needed to talk it out, so that's what it turned into. @ I will not teach you to live (rather you will teach me, given the difference in our age :)). I want to say only one thing: it is better to tell the truth to a person, and not to avo id and hide from him. (As it was with me and Akashi). It's going to hurt people a lot more than telling them the truth in person. (Although, perhaps, in this your goal, a small voyne? :))))) ) @ Remember I was surprised you weren't married yet?) I'm still in shock because you are very beautiful. You should be followed by half of Romania and a quarter of the surrounding countries. So, I think you will soon meet your Prince on a white horse (or Princess ) @ I was thinking, since you're ignoring me, why not just talk to you imaginary here (Since you're the voice in my head) and then show it all to you real? I think it's a great idea @ In General, while you were wandering in the Ro manian mountains, I watched all the films that you recommended to me(Write on the bus, can't see the names that don't remember, sorry). @ Loved the Raven. It sucks that this actor died. @The film about a crazy schoolgirl with a drill is now one of my favorite (I think I'm a complete psycho). It feels like I saw it as a child. @The last shift is boring and pointless in my opinion. @ The train to Busan is very good, probably one of the bes t about zombies. Japan forever!!! @ A film about a girl in a mask is somehow illogical in places, but overall not bad. The musical accompaniment is very cool. Remembering that pumping music becomes uncomfortable. @The film is about people surviving in the woods is very interesting. Makes you think about the relationship between people. Overall good, but there were a couple of moments that raised questions for me. @ And I watched twin Peaks. Sooo cool series. The first two seasons replaced my sleep for a week. The third is too tight. But I still liked it. 273747 / 10. And yes, it does look like Durarara. Japan forever!!! @ It turns out some story about life without you, a month before my disappearance. Hmm, not bad idea. I’ll keep here (on a smartphone) a kind of diary. Some sentences will be unrelated. I will write in Russian (Mdaaaa, I will die when I translate it, but okeeey, niet problema). I will try to separate individual thoughts with the @ sign. @ I decided that I would disappear from your life a fter the new year. And that gives me the courage to write it all cuz I'm a terrible coward. @ Hope you'll be interested enough to at least start reading this. It would be kind of stupid if you didn't even open it. @ I often recall your words "source of ent ertainment". It's getting a little frustrating that you think I see you as just another " source of entertainment" @ Probably the first new year in ten years that I'm really waiting for. @ Why did I decide to disappear? Hmm ... Looking back at the action s of Akasha, I realized that to impose your society on a person who does not want to know you is a very bad idea. I thought for a very long time why does it happend and I still do not have a clear answer. Maybe, one day, I will realize... @ So strange to chat with ourselves. I hope I'm really writing this for good reason. @ I will blacklist you, please do not be offended. I need to burn all the bridges. Otherwise, it’s very scary to send it, knowing that you can answer something. It’s even worse to think that it will be something condemning. @ Mdaaa, it’s easier for me to jump from the wet roof of the garage than to write a few lines to my friend. What a coward. @ Funny thing. Now, every time I see Lana Del Ray (on YouTube or whatever) my heart skips a bea t. @ Do you know what will be even funnier? If you blacklist me earlier and I can't send you this @ I’ve been working for almost a month, probably if it weren’t for work, I wo uld have gone mad. It perfectly distracts from all problems... @ It is a pity that I never heard your laughter. :( @ Yeeeeah, I became too sentimental. Is it bad? I don't know. I guess I've always been a romantic, just had no reason to understand it... @ Looked at Discord. I forgot to mention a couple of films. @ Unforgiven. Very good. Nothing to add @ Cuckoo's flig ht is funny. However, the ending could be better in my opinion. Just dead? Meh @ Ballades. Very mixed feelings. Some stories are very interesting, others are boring and drawn out. @Diane, now 20:20, I am sitting at home and watching memes with cats. @ Th e verse from the postcard looks like a keyhole, and below is a key. It turned out very symbolic. @ I hope there were no problems with my gift. It would be embarrassing if I gave you just a set of numbers and letters. @Hey! I also run after buses, don’t you dare laugh at our caste of people running after buses! @ Maybe in vain I dragged you so high in competitive mode? I mean, it’s much better to achieve everything gradually and yourself, but it turned out that I picked you up and then left you :( But I think in the end you will succeed :) (if for you it is all as important as before) @ Hmm, I just noticed that 40% of the songs in my playlist are about love and almost everyone has a sad motiv e. Funny. @ I remembered one strange thing, did not want to bother you with this. Love seems to be killing me. On the day, you got mad at me, a couple of days after that, my heart was beating like mad. Interestingly, is this the case for everyone, or only for the elect like me? @ It seems when I talked about goths and emo, I was not far from the truth, right? You must have been a badass, judging by the photos :)) @ Honestly, at first I thought you were very strange. All these j okes about my children, terrible music, billions of hours in overwatch. But now I realized that this is what I like about you, that’s why I loved you. Your unusual, extraordinary and obstinacy. Not to mention that you are smart and you have a great sense of humor. A ray of sunshine in my dark boring life. Wish you always stay the same. @ Damn, I think I promised you to buy pancakes when I arrive. How am I supposed to do that if I can't find you? :( @ I think I fell in love too late. All these feelings se em alien to me. Well, probably it should be so. @ I wonder how long and how often I will remember you. They say time heals, but everyone is silent about how much time must pass in order to be healed. @ Will you remember me? Or will I just be the next abn ormal in your life, the existence of which should be forgotten as soon as possible. @ Sometimes it seems to me that I have a split personality. More precisely, not even that. One person hides behind another. An angry, cenical, scumbag bastard who hides a kindhearted, vulnerable romantic ... I was a terrible crybaby in childhood and probably so I adapted. Now I’m hiding my feelings behind a mask of irony, cynicism and sarcasm. I remember how I become when I play games. Remember that time when I said to myse lf "narcissistic moron", and you said "but honest". Hahaha @ Another funny thing. Even your ignore is beneficial. I began to understand myself better, thanks :) @ I don’t know what you will feel and whether you will read at all. I hope not to upset you m uch and make you laugh a little;) @ Why don't you remove me from your friends? Because I'm a decent person? Why are you ignoring me and hiding? I do not understand. @ I remembered saying that I was trying to think for two. I am very ashamed of this, I'm sorry. I guess it was an evil me. @ Every day I think less and less of you. I do not know whether this is good or bad. @ Life is losing color again, boring gray daily routine. @ Even though I'm a decent person, I can't just take a place on the friend li st. @ Phew, I finished translating everything I wrote before. I'm still alive! @Mdaa, it's been a busy four months. I've experienced so much. It feels like it's been 5 years. @ Leave a discord server on you. Take good care of it 😆 @ Say hello to Akashi 😆 @ Hmm, lucky you for all sorts of loonies. @ Well, this time no one bothers you to get rid of annoying friends 😆 @ Hmm, I have an assumption. Remembering your relations with friends (avoiding them, instead of saying: “No, I do not want to play with you”) and the way you think I treated you (another source of entertainment), maybe I was not your friend, but just a sou rce of entertainment. Then it becomes clear why you got rid of me so easily. Not interesting TV show - switch the channel. But even if this is so, I do not hold you angry, only a little bit offensive. @ I just realized that I'm not afraid anymore, I'll jus t leave, no blacklists.