One Week Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/15408654. Rating: Not Rated Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: M/M Fandom: South Park Relationship: Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick Additional Tags: sp k2 week Language: English Stats: Published: 2018-07-24 Completed: 2018-07-28 Words: 9,151 Chapters: 7/7 One Week by Townycod13 Summary It's been one week since you looked at me, cocked your head to the side and said you're sorry. The Broflovski family moves to town when their oldest son is in high school. Shenanigans ensue. Notes I GOT REALLY PUMPED FOR ALL THE MULTICHAP K2 WEEK STUFF AND I WANTED TO CONTRIBUTE AS WELL IM SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THIS SILLINESS Chapter 1 A family from New Jersey moved to town. It wasn’t an event of much note but the family had two sons and one of them had a way of making a first impression. Kenny had exactly three things decided when he first laid his eyes on Kyle Broflovski. One, the guy needs to take a chill pill. Punching Cartman wasn’t really known for making the dude stop, ask Testaburger. Two, the guy was loud . No, his guttural cry of rage put a shame to loud and went straight to the category of ear splitting. Three, that was one fine ass. Bebe, from her position next him, gave a low whistle and voiced just that. Knowing these three things was probably what spurred him first so quickly. Within the first day, he had asked Kyle for his number no less than five times. The first pretty immediately after the incident, hollering from the crowd of gawking students and given courage by Bebe’s mischievous grins and nudges. “Hey, Kyle-B! Can I get those digits?” He was promptly ignored, Kyle made away in a huff. It was entirely positive that he hadn’t heard the request though, so Kenny pulled at the strings of his parka and allowed Bebe’s comforting shoulder pat to assist his unease. “Psst, i need help with this problem. The teacher doesn’t make any sense, he keeps saying the answer 5 but I know it’s your number.” The second was in math class and Kenny couldn’t resist. It was pure luck that he was in the same class and sitting close enough that a whisper could reach? It was too much. He had no choice. He had to give it another try. Kyle shot him a look, somewhere between confused and annoyed before returning to his notes. Kenny let this roll off his shoulders too, guy might just be real serious about class time. When he caught sight of the boy shoulder to shoulder with the Marsh boy in the cafeteria, Kenny knew it was an opportunity. He wrapped a friendly arm over Stan’s shoulder and leaned over to look at Kyle’s eyes. Oh. They were some damn pretty eyes, what the fuck. He continued anyway. “ Dude , you have to hear my new ringtone! Quick, shoot me a text!” Kyle rolled his eyes and tugged Stan away, not even sparing a word for the boy he was leaving in the dust. Kenny had to admit that even he couldn’t ignore this was a clear sign that Kyle wasn’t interested. He spent the entirety of lunch letting Bebe braid small locks of hair while Wendy and Red were less than comforting. He was pouting. He didn’t want to pout but he was. And then he decided to give it just one more shot, just in case. Because there was Kyle with a free period and it was his free period too and they could totally hang out and it would be awesome . Kenny plopped on the bench next to the reading boy. “Okay, but how can you call me for my booty if we don’t exchange info?” Kyle, who had apparently been drinking something, snorted it all over his very nice book. Kenny stood, hands raised in defense and memory of the Cartman debacle still fresh on his mind. He excused himself quickly, barely even squeaking out an apology over the book before he retreated to spend the rest of the break sitting in a bathroom stall hating himself. His last attempt had none of his earlier heart or energy, he was leaving school at the same time and Bebe was chatting with Butters as they walked, and it was just easier to be brave with those two at his side. “Holyshit, Broflovski! I lost my phone number, can I have yours?” Kyle whirled , there was no better way to describe it and Kenny saw that Stan, who had been nearby, took a visual step back. “ Look , I don’t know what kind of weird game you’re playing but I’m not interested in being your plaything! I don’t like these sorts of jokes and if you don’t cut it the fuck out, I’m going to make you!” Kenny, flinching back under the force of Kyle The Loud, and heart thudding with fear and anxiety, dared to look into the flashing eyes of the beast to express his confusion. “...but I’m not playing a game?” Kyle flared with agitation, “Then why do you keep asking for my phone number?!” Tugging at his drawstrings wasn’t helping and even Bebe’s supportive hand on his lower back wasn’t helping and Butters was giving him a terribly sympathetic look and that definitely wasn’t helping. He felt like he was taking a test and there was only one correct answer but it wasn’t a multiple choice question and he wasn’t even taking the class. He tried the truth in one vain attempt, hoping against hope it didn’t earn him a fist to the face. “Because I want your phone number?” Kyle paused, blinking owlishly and briefly tearing his attention away to glance at Stan, who shrugged and looked back at Kenny, “Is that all?” “Yeah?” Kenny was under the impression that was all he wanted. At least, he thought that was it, or was it another answer he didn’t know? Test anxiety ate away at the corners of his sense. “Oh.” Kyle said, visibly deflating and Kenny let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, “I--um, i’m sorry I yelled at you. I--” Kyle’s face turned an interesting shade of red and Kenny rather liked the color, “I’ve got to go.” Dragging a startled Stan away and retreating from the school with great speed, Bebe and Kenny shared a whistle. “That is a steller butt.” Butters rolled his eyes at them with an admonishing, “Fellas...” Chapter 2 The next day was less successful, if that was possible. It didn’t help that there was a new trend that had taken hold of the student body, a sweeping force that scarves in summer were just the cutest and coolest thing ever. Kenny had no issue with the movement. He rather liked his beaten old red scarf and this was a good excuse to give it a wearing. A nice day out for the scarves. And then there was the object of his attention glaring at every scarf and declaring the entire student body sheeps for following this trend. Stan, clad in a charming blue scarf, insisted that Kyle just didn’t get it. None of this was actually said to Kenny but he hadn’t been kidding about Kyle being a very loud boy. He wished Bebe was nearby so he could comment on how entertaining it would be if Kyle was loud in all aspects of life. Bebe was too busy showing off her absolutely stylish pink scarf to the world at large, it was everything a scarf should be. Cute, a soft looking fabric, and with an intricate little design on the ends. It made Kenny tug at his own scarf a bit self consciously, wondering if perhaps he could do something to spruce it up if this current fad lasted more than just a few hours. There was never any telling in South Park and Kenny was happy to go along with whatever so long as it wasn’t inherently dangerous. There was someone directly in front of him and Kenny looked up to apologize for almost bumping into the guy. Oh. Kenny froze, Kyle froze, the hall froze, Kenny hadn’t meant to walk straight up to him, he’d been too lost in his own thought. Shit, he didn’t have Bebe or Butters to encourage him right now. Kenny’s eyes darted down to the boys scarf-less neck, at a loss for pick up lines when caught unawares, he tried valiantly regardless, “Nice... neck.” Kyle’s nose scrunched up and that couldn’t be a good sign. It definitely wasn’t a good sign with Stan standing just behind him with a hand over his nose. “Your scarf is stupid.” Kyle said, caught himself, looked just a touch panicked, “I mean it’s stupid to follow this fad.” his face spelled out that he understood the implications of this statement too, “You’d look better without the damn scarf.” That was apparently all the twenty feet of terrible Kyle was able to dig before Stan was physically dragging him away and Kenny was left gaping at the Kyle sized hole in the hall. He wasn’t even sure he felt insulted, it was just too direct and sudden, and reeked of ridiculous. Kyle and Stan were long out of sight before it all really caught up and Kenny touched his scarf self consciously, a small frown matching the shard of discontent that lodged itself in his heart. “I like my scarf.” he muttered, knowing that no one nearby could decipher his muffle and turned on his heel. Well, fine. So what if Kyle had a fine ass and a refreshing attitude? He was also rude. Kenny didn’t need to deal with more rude, he already had to deal with Cartman on a regular basis. And so what if the fad was stupid? It was fun . Kenny’s steps grew more determined with the indignation building up inside him, just because Jersey boy was too busy having a stick up his ass to know what the word even meant didn’t mean Kenny was going to stop having harmless fun! And you know what else was fun? Asking cute boys for their numbers! Using cheesy pick up lines! Living life to it's fullest, damnit! Kenny whirled, jogging to catch up to the departed figures of Kyle and Stan. He didn’t have to travel far, they were hidden in a nook next to a vending machine, Kyle had a frustrated hand in his hair and Stan was pinching his nose but Kenny wasn’t gonna let any of that stop him. “Hey!” Kenny’s cheeks puffed with effort and he felt every anxiety pushed to the wayside as two startled pairs of eyes looked his way, matching expressions of shock and confusion, “You’re pretty and I’m cute! Together, we’d be pretty cute!” Maybe he said it two aggressively and maybe he actually huffed before stomping away. And maybe his face was burning over how horrifically awkward that had been and oh god, that was the loudest he had spoken in ages He needed to find Bebe now and get a platonic big booby hug. Big booby hugs solved all problems in life. Especially the ones where he made incredibly dumb impulsive decisions on the go in a short-lived rebellion against his sort-of crush. Kenny dodged all signs of redheads for the rest of the day, using Bebe’s adorable pink scarf as a shield and Wendy’s ingenious tactical planning to avoid his classes. They were good friends. They didn’t even ask him why, they just helped him out like true bro’s. He was going to have to rethink this entire ‘ask out the hot redhead with the primo butt’ plan if it was going to involve him doing such foolish foolishness. Chapter 3 School shouldn’t be quite this trying. Kenny’s eyes widened to the size of saucers at the sight that was presented to him first thing in the morning. There was Kyle and Stan, Kenny spared a thought for how quick they became friends, standing in front of the school and looking for all the world like they were waiting impatiently for someone or something. It wasn’t hard to mystery what they were looking for when Stan caught sight of him and tapped Kyle’s shoulder urgently. Kenny tugged at his scarf. He didn’t know if he regretted wearing it again today or not. On one hand, it was a statement that the rude Jersey boy didn’t get to dictate his tastes but it was also exactly what he just thought. A direct opposition to someone. A defiance. Kenny wasn’t the sort to be terribly defiant. He liked mellow defiance best, it got you stuck in the office less and also it didn’t tend to be dangerous. And he still didn’t quite want to own up to yesterday. Kyle wasted very little time stomping over and Kenny considered running away. Mulled it over in fact, which direction he’d take, how he’d lose the newbie to town, which back entrance he’d use to make into the school without risking the front entrance, and the quickest route to make it so he wasn’t late to first period. After the considerations had concluded, Kenny decided it was a very good plan and turned tail with Kyle only a yard or so away. “What th--HEY, wait!” Yep, Kenny was not gonna wait now. Not if he was paid a significant sum of money. Okay, he’d totally wait for money but that wasn’t on the table right now so as it was, he was a leaf on the wind-- He jerked to a sudden halt, only having barely rounded his first corner, neck straining under the sudden pressure and for the first time he saw what the fuss about scarves was. Someone could grab onto it. Kyle’s voice was a touch out of breath, “I just want to tal--” Kenny untangled his scarf, ducking forward and continuing his fleeing. Kenny had created something of an art form when it came to making escapes. He’d been in a great many life and death situations and the important thing he’d noted was that stopping for people that said things like ‘wait’ was ill-conceived. He’d also learned that all clothes could be shed at high speed with enough motivation. If needed, he could be down to his skivvies in a matter of seconds. Luckily it was only the scarf that he left in the sputtering boys hand as he finished his expert escape plan. Except this left him with a new problem. Even after he’d escaped and plopped down on his chair, just before the bell as planned, he was forced to contemplate it. He’d just run away at full speed from the boy he had been trying to seduce. Shit. Kenny made a decision right there, he couldn’t be trusted anymore, he’d need help from a pro. He’d tell Bebe and Wendy everything, maybe even Butters too, just--he was being dumb. It wasn’t seductive to run away from a guy like you thought he might actually kill you. That was the opposite of seducive. Unseductive. Inseductive? It was bad. Kenny shook away the thoughts physically, earning a raised eyebrow from Tucker, and tried to focus on the content that the teacher was-- Kenny’s eyes widened in despair at his own stupidity as he took in the clear appearance of his math teacher. But he had math with Kyle. Which meant Kyle was in this room. Which meant Kenny had run away at full speed ot go to the same fucking place He wanted to throw himself in traffic. He dared to glance towards the redheads seat, anxiety pumping through his veins at what he might see. Red. Huh. Kenny blinked once, twice, and did a full double take. Sitting stock still in his chair, staring directly at the teacher with exceptional posture, a somewhat constipated expression, and... wearing Kenny’s scarf. Kenny couldn’t help it. He laughed. It came out a terrible strangled snorting noise and earned him even more derision from Craig but Kyle didn’t look over. His cheeks looked a little pinker though. Okay. Kenny decided he could take that as an apology. It was an effort, he was wearing Kenny’s ‘dumb’ scarf even after all the crap he said yesterday about it and it was clearly something that made him embarrassed. Kenny felt the remainder of his annoyance over the matter drain away and spent the rest of class fairly openly staring. Kyle Broflovski might have a fine ass, but his face was quite cute too. Especially with that little cute frown while he tried to look like he was focusing. It was utterly adorable. Kenny discretely fumbled with his phone to text Bebe, hoping that the teacher didn’t spot him. This one was a bit of a hard ass about phones. [To: The Babestor halppp i thin i actually likelike him, emergancy stretegy meeting????] It didn’t surprise him at all that she texted back almost immediately, she was inseparable from her phone. Her affirmative emoji’s were also a huge relief and he smiled softly at the text. Having friends to support him in moments of panic was the best thing ever. When he looked up, Kyle’s eyes were no longer on the board but rather trained on him with a strange expression that looked just a bit hurt. Kenny cocked his head to one side, about to ask but Kyle’s gaze snapped away. That was... strange. Kenny chalked it up to a Jersey thing though and began to doodle little hearts on what was supposed to be math notes. It was a safe bet that not a single number touched his page that day. Kenny decided against making more passes at Kyle until he’d met with his allies though. He wasn’t good at the whole long term making a boy like him thing. Just the short-term ‘wink- wink aren’t I sexy’ crap. Kyle didn’t seem to want to start a conversation either though, he left the room after class without even an attempt to return the scarf. Kenny frowned. He thought he’d figured the guy out, at least a little, but he kept being thrown for loops. “You’re both idiots.” the first bit of kind advice he received rom Wendy as they left the school. The day had been uneventful on the Kyle front but filled to the brim with anxiety. Which was of course why Bebe declared the best solution was for them to all pile into her cute little Honda and spend the night at her place with Britney Spears blaring while they ate cookies and dished. “Complete idiots.” Bebe didn’t bother coming to his defense, just giggled, but Butters gave him a companionable shoulder pat so that was okay. “If he doesn’t like you, he should give you a clear answer.” Wendy continued,”And you shouldn’t run away like a goddamn grade schooler. I can’t believe I helped you hide yesterday, Kenny, no, bad.” “In my defense,” Kenny searched his brain, “I have no defense.” Bebe snorted, “Solid argument there, baby-face.” “Well, golly, I think the two of you would make an awfully cute match.” Butters added, unbuckling his seatbelt as they parked. Kenny followed suit with a nod of agreement. They didn’t even make it inside Bebe’s comfortable two story home before a jingle from Kenny’s phone disrupted everything. At first, he panicked that it might be work, but it wasn’t the right ringtone. Glancing down he saw a new text from an unknown number. He choked and damn near dropped his phone at the sight of the contents. “Guys !” Bebe stole his phone without bothering to ask permission, choked as well, and guided them all inside. This required pillows to scream into, which was precisely why she threw one Kenny’s way as soon as the party made it to her room. “What happened?” Butters asked, bewildered at Kenny’s high pitched sounds being drowned out by fabric. Bebe tossed him the phone. [ From: Unknown Hey. This is Kyle. I got your number from Stan. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn’t mean to steal your scarf or to criticize you yesterday. I just don’t understand this stupid fad and it made me angry. I do think it’s a bit shitty of you to hit on me when you have a girlfriend though. I’ll return your scarf but please refrain from making future passes at me.] Butters choked, passing it to the curious Wendy. “Gosh, Kenny, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend...” Kenny screamed into the pillow again before coming up for air, looking light headed and lost in one, “Neither did I--wait, why is Wendy typing?” It was too late to stop her. By the time Kenny took notice she’d apparently already sent a message and handed it primly back to Kenny. Heart in his throat, Kenny read. [ To: Asshole Playing With Kenny’s Emotions Look, asshole. That was a shitty apology by any measure. If you want me to even consider forgiving you, it should be in person and without the shitty excuses. Secondly, fuck you for assuming my relationship status. If you think I’m the sort of person to cheat, I don’t really think you’re worth my time.] “ Wendy !” Kenny could cry, the text wasn’t wrong and he appreciated her protectiveness but no , Kyle was never going ot like him now! Wendy crossed her arms, “If he gets scared off by you standing up for yourself, it would have been a shit relationship anyway.” The phone plipped to life and Kenny’s eyes darted to see what was sent. A moment too late, it seemed, because he only read a word before Bebe had plucked it out of his hands. “Oh my god, Bebe, please no.” “Bebe, yes!” was all the girl said before she was cheerfully typing away, Kenny dived for the phone but she’d already pressed send by the time he’d tackled her. The phone flew to Butters, vibrating with a new message and blue eyes met blue as Kenny mouthed, “No, Leo, no .” Butters picked up the phone with that chaos loving smile of his and Kenny despaired of ever getting a date. Resolutely he accepted it from Butters when the boy was done, catching up on whatever he had missed. [ From: Asshole Playing With Kenny’s Emotions I thought you were dating Bebe? That’s what Stan said.] [To: Ass-muppet LMFAO thats a motherfiucki hoot omggggg x’D where the fuck did stan get tat idea omg that bitch doesnt no shit] [From: Ass-muppet I would appreciate if you didn’t call my friend a bitch.] [To: Kyle B Gosh, Im sorry. I didn’t mean to call him that. I just wanted to tell you I think you’re awfully lovely and it would just be swell if we could go out sometime.] Kenny stared in horror. It was everything he could have imagined and worse. The voice plipped again. [ From: Kyle B Dude. Are you bipolar or something? It feels like I’m talking to four different people. ] Kenny counted the occupants of the room and couldn’t help but congratulate Kyle’s oddly accurate math. He contemplated how to explain the matter and then decided it would be easiest to use a thousand words. Getting his buddies to pose for a group selfie was less a matter of convincing and more a matter of holding up his phone camera and waiting for them to all dive in like the camera whores they all were. [ To: Kyle B (attached picture) theyyy stole my phone TTxTT ] The line was quiet for awhile and Kenny dreaded that this explanation wasn’t enough. Finally, he received a message. [ From: Kyle Butts Just so I’m clear: you’re not mad about the scarf, you’re not dating Bebe, and you’re still relatively serious about your advancements?] Kenny snorted, prompting Bebe to plop her head on his shoulder to read the contents of the message, bringing his thoughts to life effortlessly, “Who the fuck says ‘advancements’ like that, oh my god.” “ Right ?” Kenny chortled and couldn’t help the large unhindered grin that split his face. Kyle was kind of completely adorable. It was very easy to respond. [To: Kyle Butts yep, yeah, and yisssssss!!!] The response was immediate, but short. [ From: Kyle Butts Okay. ] Kenny stared, he turned to Bebe for confirmation but she just shrugged. He allowed Butters and Wendy to look it over as well. The all frowned at the phone in puzzlement. “What the actual fuck is ‘okay’ supposed to mean?” “Let’s wait a bit, maybe he’ll explain.” “Is that ‘ok, I understand’ or ‘ok let’s have the butt sex’?!” “Golly, maybe he just means that you’re all okay?” They ate snacks and watched movies and still, the phone remained silent. Kenny groaned and screamed into one of Bebe’s fabulous pillows just one more time. What the actual fuck. Kyle Broflovski was one giant butt was their only unanimous decision of the night. Chapter 4 Kenny tried not to feel anxious walking into the school building. Tried, failed, glanced at his phone for any other texts again, and wished that sleeping on Bebe’s plush carpet hadn’t given him such a crink in the neck. No signs of Kyle. No glorious butts. No explanatory texts. Kenny bit his lip, wondering for what felt like the millionth time if he should have shot back a text. What could he answer ‘okay’ with though? What was there to say? What did ‘okay’ even mean ? It would be dumb and lame to text Kyle now requesting further clarification and Kenny was not up to being dumb and lame in front of the boy. Nope. No thanks. Not his agenda. He made it all the way to his first class before he saw the green ushanka that marked the boy’s presence but tragically it was just a figure walking past the room in the hallway. He seriously debated saying screw it to first period and running after him but that would look dumb and desperate. He was not dumb and desperate. He reached for his scarf to tug at something , remembered it was still being held hostage, frowned and glared glumly at his desk. Today was going to be the pits if he didn’t figure out what that text meant. Or talk to the boy. Or get out of this very boring class. Today already sucked and Kenny allowed that particular grouchy outlook to seep into everything. If the teacher made an unfunny joke it was nails on a chalkboard, if a student coughed it was a bad omen, and obviously if anyone so much as looked at him it was probably in preparation for something awful. Speaking of looking at him, stupid Stan Marsh was giving him a-- Kenny’s gaze snapped up just as the bell rang and met Stan’s look. He didn’t hesitate even a moment, lurching forward and grabbing the boy by the shoulders. Sure, they weren’t all that close nowadays, but they’d grown up together. And Stan owed him for the Bebe disaster. “How the fuck do I read Broflovski?!” Stan blinked once, twice, let out a truly despairing sigh, and pinched the bridge of his nose with something close to absolute regret on his features. “I’m not doing this again.” “ Again ?! I never even asked once! Explain to me how the hell I am supposed to deal with Jersey boy! What does ‘okay’ even mean ?!” Stan groaned, “No, look, I already did this with Kyle last night. You guys work this out on your own--” “Worked what out with Kyle? Tell me everything .” Kenny realized, somewhat belatedly, that he hadn’t spoken this aggressively to anyone in... he wasn’t sure he could recall. Also that desperately begging Stan for information was exactly the brand of stupid and lame he’d been trying not to do. Still, he allowed his eyes to grow impossibly wide as he gazed into Stan’s own, tilting his head to the side in plea, knowing that this expression made him look completely adorable and no one could resist. Stan rolled his eyes, “ Fine , look--” “...I cannot fucking believe this shit.” Both Stan and Kenny looked up from what could have been considered an intimate looking pose into the eyes of Kyle, a few other amused students nearby, at the door to the classroom and glaring them both down. Stan looked from Kyle, to Kenny’s hands still clutching his shoulders, to the lack of personal space between the two of them, and then back to Kyle with utter horror in his eyes, “No, Kyle, it’s not--” “I’m so done with this.” Kyle turned tale, slamming the classroom door shut and earning them all a glare from the lingering teacher who had been looking through papers at his desk. Kenny looked to Stan, heart racing at the knowledge that he had somehow, yet again, fucked up, “What the fuck was that?” Stan ran a hand down his face, eyes clenched shut and frown consuming his expression, “Oh my god , I hate you both so much.” That was all that could be said before the bell rang and Kenny wasn’t able to find either Stan or Kyle for the rest of the day. Chapter 5 Five days since he’d first laid eyes on Kyle Broflovski and it was a roller coaster of emotion he wasn’t go to deal with anymore. Nope. Kenny glared meaningfully at the surface of his beaten old phone, knowledgeable that what he was about to do was dangerous What was danger in the face of death? Nothing! Everything! Life can get so much worse before it’s over! Kenny was so aware of this that it was actually burned into the phantoim pain of having his arm ripped off. That was the issue with it all though. He wasn’t a stranger to pain, danger, or even death. So texting some dumb boy should not be the most terrifying thing he’d ever considered in his life time. ‘Okay’ still glared up at him but today was Friday. If he didn’t solve it now he would have an entirely Kyle-less weekend ahead of him where Kyle was free to come up with all sorts of strange assumptions. It was time to clear the air. Time to make sure he understood what was happening, even in the face of danger, he would not flinch away! [To: and then there’s this asshole wat does ok even mean?????] Kenny bit his lip in terror, awaiting the incoming message with trepidation. He hadn’t even left his home yet, waiting for Karen to finish her morning priming, and now he had to wait for a message from a boy that might not even be up. Speaking of the arguably unconscious, Kevin drifted past in that sleepwalk state between bed and the mornings first cup of joe, radiating every single energy that said ‘don’t talk to me yet’. Of course Kenny disregarded those warnings and dove right in, “Kevin, what the fuck does ‘okay’ mean?” Kevin paused, looked over at him, raised an eyebrow and groaned, “Gonna need way more context than that, half-pint.” “Like when a chick or dude says it after romantic stuff occurs or doesn’t occur or whatever?” Kenny could admit that he could use a lesson or two in eloquence. Kevin shuffled away, that same look of complete loss in his eyes that Stan had given him only a day prior. His phone plipped. Kenny damn near dropped the thing, juggling in an unflattering dance before he spied the new message. [From: and then there’s this asshole Nothing now. Leave me alone.] Kenny could have spent time thinking up a good response, a meaningful one, think himself into another hole and be left staring at the screen in despair. Or he could let the impulsive desperation that had ruled over his life with an iron fist this last few days dictate his life. [To: and then there’s this asshole BUT WHY?????????] The response was quick. [From: and then there’s this asshole How can you even ask me that?! I saw you and Stan yesterday!] Kenny attempted the mental gymnastics he would need to understand this, it didn’t work to well while multi-tasking a conversation with his newly arrived sister and heading out the front door, clicking away at his phone. [To: and then there’s this asshole im srry I’mnot a mind reeder???? So wat if i was aksing stan for advise?????????? Is that rlly bad?????] There wasn’t a response for an uncomfortable amount of time. Kenny looked up from his phone and to his sister who was looking at him with judgement in her eyes. “Oh, not you too.” he moaned, dreading another lecture on his stupidity. Who had even informed his sister? He would bet money it was Leopold. Goddamnit, Butters. “I’m not saying anything.” she defended with a grin that said more than words often hoped to. “Nothing about how you’re crushing on our new neighbors or how bad you are at it.” Kenny’s mind did a screeching reverse, something in her sentence building him with terror, “Our what now?” There was the sound of a door clicking and Kenny felt as though he was in a horror movie looking up to find the ghost hanging over him the whole time. There was Kyle on the front porch of the home that Kenny wasn’t sure how he had missed the family moving into. He really was working too many hours at City Wok. He lifted a hand and waved weakly at the boy that was frowning at his phone, then Kenny, then his phone, and back to Kenny. It was one of those fantastic frowns that deepened with each new piece of information added to it and apparently Kenny was informative. “G’morning?” Kenny tried. Kyle stomped over, pocketing his phone and finger at the ready, “I saw you and Stan kissing yesterday! How the hell does that count as asking for advice?” Karen snorted, Kenny nearly toppled over, but it was mostly due to the force of Kyle’s index finger planted firmly against his chest and the surprising amount of strength behind it. “But I didn’t kiss Stan yesterday?” Kenny gave it a quick thought. “Or ever, come to think of it?” “Oh, and I’m sure you and Bebe are really just friends even though you spend every waking moment between her tits!” Kyle moved in closer, it would have been exceptionally hot if not for the fire burning underneath the surface, “ Admit it , you’ve been playing some stupid game with me since day one, you--you player !” Karen’s voice cut into the mayhem, soft enough not to attract anger, but loud enough to be heard and drag Kyle’s burning gaze somewhere else. “Bebe’s dating Wendy. She’s hella gay.” Karen placed her hands on her hips, “And I don’t know if I should be letting you near my brother if that’s what you think of him. He’s never cheated on anyone in his life and you’re just assuming the worst of him.” Kyle startled when Karen’s own pointer finger hit his chest and Kenny was left bewildered as to how to handle the scene, “Kenny’s an awful lot of things, an idiot for starters, but he’s not a cheater and he’s not a ‘player’, you rude New Jersey jerk !” She whirled around, expertly grabbing her brothers hand and pulling, Kenny didn’t even think to resist her, eyes moving between the two. Kyle was terrifying when he was angry but he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Karen lose her temper and there was just something inherently dangerous about it. At a loss for anything else, he caught Kyle’s eye and mimed a quick ‘call me’ before entirely succumbing to his baby sisters whim, listening to her continued tirade. “ The nerve of that guy !” she hissed, something of her mother's accent coming out in anger “Hasn’t known you more than a few days and already he thinks he’s enough of an expert to make those sorts of allegations?! What do you see in that creep?!” The question wasn’t meant to be answered, just a lead in to more of Karen’s rant, but it still struck somewhere in Kenny. What did he see in the darn Jersey boy that swept into down with a primo ass and no regards for any common manners? Why was he so taken with a guy he’d barely had anything like a conversation with up until now? He was cute. But that wasn’t it. Butters was cute, Stan was cute, Red was cute. He was fiery but that wasn’t it. Wendy was fiery as well. He marched to the beat of his own drum and while it was somewhat unique it wasn’t it What was it that made him fall all over himself in a ridiculous attempt to woo this boy? Kenny reached down and turned off his phone. Maybe it was a good idea to let the day go by without incident. Actually study for the first time this week. Take the time by himself instead of being dragged around by avalanche Broflovski. And Karen was right. He was a seriously rude guy. Kenny kind of liked his brand of rude though. He pocketed the phone and waved goodbye to his sister at the entrance to her school before heading to his own. He was rude but there was something so sincere about it. And honesty that made Kenny want to be honest. Dangerously so. It was always one of them running and the other chasing, like a ridiculous game that neither one of them wanted to be playing. He needed to screw up his courage and be brave. Not run or hide but just be simple and honest Kenny. Besides, apparently hiding in Bebe’s cleavage had caused more problems than it solved. He looked up from his contemplations into a pair of headlights.